ParksandRecreation《公园与游憩（2009）》第三季第十一集完整中英文对照剧本.docx
早上好啊BenGoodmorning,Ben.抱歉-抱歉Sorry.-Sorry.我吓到你了吗-没有DidIscareyou?-No.我只是想提醒你那个艺术展Ijustwantedtoremindyouoftheartshow今晚在社区中心举♥行♥-是是that'shappeningtonightatthecommunitycenter.-Yeah.Yeah.会很好玩的It'sgonnabealotoffun.棒嗯那听起来挺酷是的Great.Well,thatsoundscool.-Yeah.那听起来像是会成功的事情你知道吗Thatsoundslikesomethingthatwillbeabigsuccess.Youknow?我是说就像所有你你经经经爪子的事情一样Imean,likeeverythingthatyou.thatyouputyour.your.yourpawson.经手Yourfingers.1.eslieKnopeBenWyattBen好消息1.eslieKnopelBenWyatt.Ben,greatnews.你记得我跟你说过县长官办公室的那个女孩子吗DoyourememberthewomanItoldyouaboutfromthecountycommissioner'soffice?呃.不大记得了Um.vaguely.你当然记得啊CindyMillerSureyoudo.CindyMiller.是这样她答应跟你约会了Anyway,she'sagreedtogooutonadatewithyou.哦Oh.你替我问她了啊Youaskedheroutforme?你会爱上她的她有趣聪明而且漂亮You'regoingtoloveher.Sheisinteresting,smartandbeautiful.秀外慧中Insideandout.惠中非常重要Innerbeautyisveryimportant.秀外也非常重要Andouterbeautyisalsoveryimportant.我以为你有条政♥府♥内部恋爱的规矩啊Ithoughtyouhadaruleaboutinter-governmentrelationships.别担心她的部门和我们的完全分开Don'tworry.Herdepartmentiscompletelyseparatefromours.这不像你和TomHaverford的恋情Thisisn'tanythinglikeyouraffairwithTomHaverford.我们没.你你Weweren't.you.you.不好意思你打给谁呢msorry,whoareyoucalling?CindyMillerCindyMiller.CindyMiller我是ChrisTraegerCindyMiller.ChrisTraeger.猜猜谁和我一起站在这个房♥间里Guesswhoisstandinginthisroomwithmerightnow.哦呃-BenWyattOh,uh.-BenWyatt.Ben打个招呼吧Ben,sayhello.嗨Cindy抱歉Hi,Cindy.Sorry.嗨不必道歉Chris就是这样的Hi.Noapologynecessary.It'sjustChrisbeingChris.你好吗Howareyoudoing?哦火花蹦出来了Ooh!Sparksareflying!我们可能要联♥系♥消防部门了这是个政♥府♥笑话Wemayhavetocallthefiredepartment.It'sagovernmentjoke.我爱给人牵线Ilovesettingpeopleup.这是我的秘密我确定一个人最好的品质Here'smysecretIdeterminesomeone'sbestqualities,然后我找到有匹配品质的人andthen,Ifindsomeoneelsewithcompatiblequalities,然后把他们带到一起andIbringthemtogether.公园与游憩公园与游憩第3季第11集第3季第11集呃天啊这也太糟糕了Ugh.God,thissucks.哦你今天为啥不翘班了呢Oh.Whydon'tyoujustgohomefortherestoftheday?我不能回家因为我有个Ican'tgohome,becauseIhavethis在社区中心开幕的画展artshowopeningatthecommunitycenter,我也不能呆在这因为会见到BenandIcan,tstayherebecauseIseeBen,我也不能和Ben约会因为Chris的蠢规矩andIcan'tdateBenbecauseofChris'stupidrules.我感觉好Ifeelso.无力-是啊Powerless.-Yeah.我就像那个电灯泡mlikethatlightbulb.脆弱闪烁基本不发什么光Weak,flickering,barelygivingoffanylight,不能和想亲热的电灯泡亲热了unabletomakeoutwiththelightbulbIwanttomakeoutwith.你知道怎么样会感觉好点吗Youknowwhatmightmakeyoufeelbetter?一个拥抱吗Ahug?百忧解要我给你开个处方吗Paxil.Doyouwantmetogetyouaprescription?嘿TOm问你个问题Hey,Tom!Aquestionforyou.你知道谁在找室友吗Doyouknowanyonewho,slookingforaroommate?多性感Howhot?我啥1.what?要找呆着地方的那个女人多性感Howhotisthewomanthat,slookingforaplacetostay?不是我我在我不是吧那不公平啊No,it'sme.mlooking.-Comeon.That'snotfair.你不该让我误解是个美丽的女人Youshouldn'thaveledmetobelieveitwasabeautifulwoman.我没有Ididn't.我在Pawnee超级套房♥旅店呆了七个月vebeenstayingatthePawneeSuperSuitesMotelforsevenmonths.那是个迷人的小客栈有着绝妙的随机早叫服务lt,sacharminglittleinnwithwonderfullyrandomwake-upcalls,不稳定得开心的温度delightfullyunstabletemperatures,还有就在昨天出现的床上臭虫and,asofyesterday,bedbugs.“四星级哦"没有人这么说"Fourstars,"saysnobody.我希望我能帮你铁Ben烧但我帮不了我只有一间卧室IwishIcouldhelpyou,Benihana,butIcan'tIhaveaone-bedroom.我不能有个哥们睡在沙发上Ican'thaveadudesleepingonmycouch那我带女士回家就不好了ifandwhenIbringhomealady.我有个仪式从沙发开始Ihavearitual,anditstartsonthecouch.我们坐下拍拍手灯光暗下-好的行我理解了Wesitdown,clapmyhands,lightsdim.-Okay.Yep.Iunderstand.BoyzIIMen渐入-请停下不BoyzIIMen.Fadesin.-Please,stop.No.不你不川解释那个仪式我不用知道No,youdon'tneedtoexplaintheritual.mgood.你知道谁愿意帮一个像你一样无家可归的人吗Youknowwhomightbeabletohelpoutahomelessdudesuchasyourself?这真是棒到完美了Thisisawesomelyperfect.Burly刚刚搬去和他的有钱女朋友同居了Burlyjustmovedinwithhisrichgirlfriend,我们需要帮忙分担租金andweneedhelpwiththerent.不过我们有几条房♥内规矩Wehaveacoupleofhouserules,though.嗯当然没问题Yeah,sure.Ofcourse.你不能用前门Youcan'tusethefrontdoor.你只能从后窗爬进来Youhavetoclimbinthroughthebackwindow.不准打私人电♥话♥Nopersonalphoneconversations.如果你跟我说西班牙语请使用正式的称呼“您"IfyoueverspeaktomeinSpanish,pleaseusetheformal"usted".下午6点之后不许用电Andnoelectricityafter6:00p.m.她开玩笑的-好吧She'sjoking.-Okay.你想用多少免费的电都可以用Youcanuseasmuchfreeelectricityasyouwant.是免费的-还有几条规矩It'sfree.-Couplemorerules.如果你看悲伤的电影Ifyoueverwatchasadmovie,你必须涂盹毛膏这样我们才能知道你有没有哭过youhavetowearmascarasowecanseewhetherornotyou'vebeencrying.周一严禁噪音早餐后禁止看电视There'snonoiseallowedonMondays,andnoTVafterbreakfast.她又在糊弄人了-她是吗Sheislyingagain.-Sheis?因为很难分辨啊是的Becauseit'shardtotell.-Yes.不我们整天都开着电视No.WeleavetheTVonalldaylong所以小偷会觉得我们在家但我们不在soburglarsthinkthatwe'rehomewhenwe,renot,这也是一个我试着申请专利的点子whichwasmyideathatmtryingtopatent.所以你今晚想搬进来吗So,youwanttomoveintonight?行啊当然那样很好Yeah.Sure.Thatwouldbegreat.你要我的口香糖吗-嗯哼Youwantmygum?-Uh-huh.Pawnee社区艺术展自然的画像Ron你能讲开场辞吗Ron,canyoumaketheopeningremarks?我就我不是那个心情mjust.mnotinthemood.我也不是从来都NeitheramI.Ever.你怎么回事你是为这些事情活着的啊What'swrongwithyou?Youliveforthiskindofstuff.我现在没有这些了Idon'thaveitinmerightnow.Ron拜托了为我做吧来个演讲Ron拜托拜托Ron,please.Doitforme.Makethespeech.Ron,please.Please.来演讲Ron-不Givethespeech,Ron.-No.是的拜托Ron请-不Yes.Please?Ron?Please.-No.请发表演讲请发表演讲Pleasegivethespeech.Pleasegivethespeech.不我不会的是的是的是的是的是的是的No.Iwon't.-Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.Yes.没门-拜托拜托拜托拜托拜托Noway.-Please,please,please,please,please.不请拜托是的是的No.-Please,please.Yes,yes.行了该死啊女人Allright!Damnit,woman.好的各位闭上嘴看着我Okay,everyone.Shutupandlookatme!欢迎来到”自然的画像”Welcometo"VisionsofNature."这个房♥间里有几幅画Thisroomhasseveralpaintingsinit.有些很大有些很小Somearebig.Somearesmall.人们画了现在它们在这了Peopledidthem,andtheyareherenow.我相信这个结束后Ibelievethatafterthisisover.它们会被挂在政♥府♥大楼里they'llbehungingovernmentbuildings.为什么政♥府♥要参与艺术展我也不知道Whythegovernmentisinvolvedinanartshowisbeyondme.我也觉得人类绘制自然风景毫无意义Ialsothinkit'spointlessforahumantopaintscenesofnature因为他们可以出门站在其中whentheycanjustgooutsideandstandinit.不过请别误解我现在在讲话Anyway,pleasedonotmisinterpretthefactthatIamtalkingrightnow就表示真心欣赏艺术可以进一步交流了asgenuineinterestinartandattempttodiscussitwithmefurther.演讲结束Endofspeech.那个是电视层♥Andthat'stheTVroom.哦我的天Oh,myGod.是的挺乱的Yeah,it,samess.你能把那个扔进垃圾箱吗Canyouthrowthatinthetrashcan?我之前来过的啊就在三周前你们的婚礼上Iwasjusthere,like,threeweeksagoforyourwedding.发生了什么Whathappened?我不知道啊Burly搬走了1dunno,Burlymovedout.他才是那个负责所有打扫和扔东西之类事情的Hewastheonethatdidallthecleaningandthrowingawayandstuff.等等他搬出去才一个星期Wait,hemovedout,like,aweekago.你们一个星期就折腾成这样了Youguysmadethismessinaweek?嗯我总是觉得APril会打扫的Well,IalwaysthinkApril'sgoingtocleanup.但我从来不打扫AndInevercleanup.挺可爱的对吧It'scute,right?不No.是的就是Yes,itis.你们在炸♥弹♥珠吗Areyouguysfryingmarbles?我们在检查火警警报器能不能用Wewerecheckingtoseeifthefirealarmworked.不能用Itdoesn't挑选完美室友的最大挑战Thebiggestchallengetopickingtheperfectroommateis是找到一个愿意在不知情的情况下付超份额房♥租的人findingsomeonewho'swillingtopaymorethantheirshareofrentwithoutknowingit.我们觉得Ben有这个资质IthinkwefoundthatinBen.你忘记画一幅画了孩子Youforgottopaintapainting,son.所以我的画呢我选择了一个我最喜欢的希腊神话之一So,formypainting,IchoseoneofmyveryfavoriteGreekmyths,半人马女神DyaPhena猎杀”只雄鹿thecentaurgoddess,Dyaphena,slayingagreatstag.真的很漂亮It,sstunning.摄人心魄JeITyIt'sbreathtaking,Jerry.是确实是Yeah.Itreallyis.哇谢谢了伙计们Wow.Thanks,guys.嘿Leslie你真的得过来看看Jerry的画Hey,Leslie,youshouldreallycomeoverhereandlookatJerry'spainting.哦天哪Oh,myGod.那是我吧那是我吗That'sme.Isthatme?啥不是啊What?No.哎呀确实看起来像你Geez,itdoeslooklikeyou.你现在才意识到吗You'rejustrealizingthatnow?那就是你晚上闭眼的时候看到的啊JerryThat'swhatyouseewhenyoucloseyoureyesatnight,Jerry.裸上半身的Leslie粘在一匹马上ToplessLesliegluedtoahorse.好吧Leslie我真的真的抱歉Okay.Leslie,Iamjustso,sosorry.Dyaphena她是一个强大的女神Dyaphena,sheisthispowerfulgoddess,我思考了很多强大女性的形象andI'vebeenthinkingalotaboutpowerfulwomen,下意识地我就画成了你andsubconsciously,Ipaintedyou.抱歉我会把它撤下来的msorry.mgoingtotakeitrightdown.不留着吧No.Leaveitup.我爱这个Iloveit.我不知道怎么解释Idon'tknowhowtoexplainit.每次我看到它我自己就想EverytimeIlookatit,Ijustthinktomyself,“这位半人马女性有什么是做不到的"Whatcan'tthatcentaurwomando?“除了坐扶梯和开车以外”"Besidesrideanescalatoranddriveacar."艺术可以是如此的壮丽Artcanbesomagnificent.哦天那个宝宝是TomOh,myGod.ThebabyisTom.什么What?这轻轻松松变成我最喜欢的一幅画了Thisiseasilymyfavoritepaintingever.搞什么鬼啊JeITyWhatthehell,Jerry?看看我的大肚皮我看起来像是个怀孕的宝宝1.ookatmypotbelly.Ilooklikeapregnantbaby.而且为啥我看起来那么害怕AndwhyamIsoscared?好了我们要把这个撤下来了就现在Allright,we,vegottotakethisdown.Now.不这幅画哪也不去TomNo,thispaintingisn'tgoinganywhere,Tom.它就呆在这里你好啊艺术爱好者It'sstayingrighthere.Hello,fellowloverofthearts.欢迎观看这幅画Welcometothepainting.怎么那是你啊What,isthatyou?嗯很性感Well,it'shot.谢谢Thankyou.这家伙也在里面他是那个小胖宝宝Thisguy'sinit,too.He'sthelittlefatbaby.酷Cool.是Yeah.这里发生了什么啊What'sgoingonrighthere?婴儿肥吗Babyrolls?我们试着报修那个灯已经几个月了We'vebeentryingtogetthatlightfixedformonths.谢谢你Thankyou.要谢谢她Thankher.早上好TomGoodmorning,Tom.今早她大步迈进我办公室告诉我我不搞定她就不走Shemarchedintomyofficethismorningandtoldmeshewouldn'tleaveuntilIgotthisdone.是嘛Hmm.嗯有人感觉良好我很开心啊Well,mgladsomeone'sfeelinggood.他们要把那副画挂在公共建筑里任何人都看得到They'regoingtohangthatpaintinginapublicbuildingwhereanybodycanseeit.只用了一笔JeiTy就谋杀了Inonebrushstrokejerryhaskilled我多年培养起来的Jay-Z风theJay-Zvibethat'stakenmeyearstocultivate而换成了肥胖棕色婴儿风andreplaceditwiththefat,brownbabyvibe,这可是没那么酷的风whichisnotascoolofavibe.嘿阿佛洛狄忒Chris想在办公室见你Hey,Aphrodite.Chrisneedsyouinhisoffice.嗯Hmm.修完灯之后修下打印机Whenyou'redonewiththelight,fixtheprinter.我不知道怎么修打印机Idon'tknowhowtofixprinters.学1.earnit.1.eslie我也该去吗1.eslie,should1go,too?这事跟你无关JerryThisisn'taboutyou,Jerry.是我的画啊It'smypainting.为什么我不高兴呢WhyamIupset?我们开始先说说政♥府♥赞助的动物色情吧1.et'sstartwithgovernment-fundedanimalporn.我不确定这么说是公平的mnotsurethat'sfair.我想让它毁掉我还想让这个办公室出具一份声明Iwantitdestroyed,andIwantastatementfromthisoffice为这个兽♥交♥的淫秽描绘道歉apologizingforanobscenedepictionOfbestiaIity.兽♥交♥这可是一副半人马的图片Bestiality?Itisapictureofacentaur,一个美丽的半人半马兽abeautifulhalfperson,halfhorse.是怎么变成那样的Andhowdiditgetlikethat?谁和什么做了爱生下了啥Whohadsexwithwhatandgavebirthtowhich?1.angman女士我们听到了你的意见我们也理解Ms.Langman,Wehearyou,weunderstandyou我们会尽我们所能找到一种解决方案andwearegoingtodowhateverwecantocometoasolution.毁掉它Destroyit.毁掉它我是说她认真的吗Destroyit?Imean,issheserious?你个人觉得这幅画冒犯吗Doyoufindthispersonallyoffensive?个人并没有Notpersonally,no.不个人来讲我享受有艺术感的人体描绘No,personally,Ienjoyagoodartisticdepictionofthehumanform.我也尝试过裸体雕塑我也曾作为裸体模特vedabbledinnudesculpture.veposednude.在大学时我曾经参演过裸体版的猫Incollege,IwasinanudeproductionofCats.但我现在不是裸体对吧ButIamnotinthenudenow,amI?因为我们在政♥府♥大楼里Becausewe'reinagovernmentbuilding.这样会是不合适的Andthatwouldbeinappropriate,这就是我认为MarciaIE在表达的意思whichiswhatIthinkMarciaissaying.所以处理这个情况So,takecareofthissituation.那副画不会被毁灭的Thatpaintingisnotgoingtobedestroyed.每件伟大的艺术品都包含一条信息Everygreatworkofartcontainsamessage.这幅画的信息就是Andthemessageofthispaintingis,"别挡我路不然一箭射你屁♥股♥Marcia""Getoutofmywayunlessyouwantanarrowinyourass,Marcia.早啊室友你睡得怎么样Morning,roomie.Howdidyousleep?嗯没有床上臭虫Well,therewerenobedbugs.还有也没有床我要去买♥♥张床Also,nobed.mgoingtogobuyabed.叉子不好意思Fork.-msorry.你们是在飞盘里吃辣椒火鸡吗Areyoueatingturkeychilioffofafrisbee?是啊挺可爱的对吧Yeah.It'sprettycute,right?不你们知道“可爱”是什么意思吗No.Doyouknowwhat,cutemeans?你对辣椒火鸡当早餐有什么意见Whathaveyougotagainstturkeychiliforbreakfast?你们对洗碗有什么意见Whathaveyouguysgotagainstwashingdishes?我们没有碗好吧Wedon'thaveanydishes,okay?Burly走的时候全带走了Burlytookthemallwhenheleft.现在你觉得自己像个混♥蛋♥了吧Now,Ibetyoufeellikeajerk.天好吧我可能不能再在这住了God.Okay,Imightneedtonotstayhereanymore.不行抱歉哥们我们已经拿你的钱买♥♥了新的XBox360No.Sorry,dude.WealreadyspentyourmoneyonanewXBox360还有用来吃饭的新飞盘andmorefrisbeestoeatoffof.你必须呆着了You'vegottostay.天好吧行吧God.Okay.Allright这样吧Here'sthedeal.我们要把这个地方打扫干净We'regoingtocleanthisplaceup.好吗然后我要教你们怎么当一个成年人Okay?Andthen,Iamgoingtoteachyouhowtobeadults.酷哦我们能当成年人了Cool.We'llgettobeadults.哎呀天哪谢谢广先生Gee,golly.Thanks,mister.叉子Fork.大家好我是PerdHaPIey欢迎收看”和Perd听个声儿"Hello.mPerdHapley,andwelcometoYa,Heard?WithPerd.今天的节11现在开始这是艺术还是色情Today,sshowbeginsnow.Isthisartorisitpornography?来这里回答这个问题的Heretoanswerthisquestion是公园与娱乐部门副主任LeslieKnopeisParksandRecreationDeputyDirector,LeslieKnope.Perd这是一件美丽的艺术品Perd,itisabeautifulworkofart.政♥府♥不应该参与审查Governmentsshouldnotbeinthebusinessofcensorship,特别是对于一件和这幅一样很棒的艺术品especiallywhenapaintingisasawesomeasthisone.但这是这个故事的争议性变得更加有争议性的地方Butthisiswherethecontroversyofthisstorygetsevenmorecontroversial.你是这幅画的主题Youarethesubjectofthispainting.一半是女性一半是马Halfwoman,halfhorse,还有一些有人可称作是人类乳♥房♥♥的东西withwhatsomewouldsayarehumanbreasts.我不是主题Iamnotthesubject.主题是到处都有的强大和有能力的女性Thesubjectisstrongandempoweredwomeneverywhere.但它确实有一点点像我Butitdoeslookalittlebitlikeme.1.eslie请向我们在家观看却不太清楚的观众们解释一下1.eslie,forourviewersathomewhomightnotknow,半人马是真的吗arecentaursreal?不是No.你对此表示完全肯定吗Absolutelysure?”总是要把白人和有色人种分开"好的所以总是要把浅色和深色分开Okay.So,youalwaysseparateyourlightsfromyourdarks.这句话是种族歧视That'sracist.然后把你们的洗衣Andthen,yougetyourlaundry.你们的洗衣液呢Whereisyourlaundrydetergent?对哦在这呢Right.Hereweare.好吧这个是泡沫沐浴液你们Okay.Thisisbubblebath.Youguys.你们给衣服洗泡泡浴吗Youwashyourclothesinbubblebath?泡泡浴衣服肥皂一样的东西Bubblebath,clothessoap,samething.不不一样No,it'snot.呃他们都有泡泡啊所以Well,theybothmakebubbles,so.我们的本意并非冒犯任何人Itwasneverourintentiontooffendanyone我猜有些人就是反对了不起女性的强悍形象诠释Iguesssomepeopleobjecttopowerfuldepictionsofawesomeladies.好的Okay.今天同时参与节目的是另一个人AlsojoiningUStodayisadifferentperson.色情电影女演员BrandiMaxxxxPornographicfilmactress,BrandiMaxxxx.很高兴来到这儿Pleasuretobehere.Brandi你出演了超过200部成人影片有一些真的非常好Brandi,you'vestarredinover200adultfilms,someofwhichareverygood.你什么时候入行的去年Whendidyougetintothebusiness?-Lastyear.很好那这里的这幅画艺术还是色情Fantastic.Now,thispaintingrighthere,artorpornography?Perd我觉得整个辩论都很可笑Perd,Ithinkthiswholedebateisridiculous.1.eslie和我做的很显然都是艺术WhatLeslieandIdoisobviouslyart.等等希腊神话的油画和色情电影之间是有很大区别的Hangon.ThereisabigdifferencebetweenanoilpaintingofaGreekmythandapornographicmovie.没事的LeSlie我来说-什么It,sokay,Leslie.Igotthisone.-What?1.eslie和我想让人们知道的是你应该能够在WhatLeslieandIwantpeopletoknowisyoushouldbeabletohavesex任何你想要的地方做♥爱♥以及展示做♥爱♥anywhereyouwantandshowitanywhereyouwant.不管是女♥女♥彳为捆缚还是.Whetherit,sgirl-on-girlaction,bondage,or.是其他能想到的Yep.-.whathaveyou.嗯等等色情是很难定义的Okay.Hangon.Pornographyisverydifficulttodefine.曾任最高法庭大♥法♥官实际hJusticeStewart曾经说过Infact,itwasJusticeStewartwhooncesaid,“我不能定义色情但我看到了就知道”"Ican'tdefinepornography,butIknowitwhenIseeit."Brandi你是如何定义色情的Brandi,howwouldyoudefinepornography?对我来说就是阴♥茎♥插入的时候Forme,it'swhenthepenisgoesin.好的我们需要来做点基本的整理Allright,weneedtodosomebasicorganization.你们账单来的时候放
