ParksandRecreation《公园与游憩（2009）》第三季第十六集完整中英文对照剧本.docx
这个肯定行好吧我设计了一个游戏节目Thisisitforcertain,okay?Icreateagameshow.两个人在台上好吧他们扔个硬币Twopeopleonstage,right?Theyflipacoin.一个人要实施心脏手术Oneofthemhastoperformopen-heartsurgery.另一个人要接受心脏于术Theotheronehastoreceiveopen-heartsurgery.我们叫它“开心手术”WecallitOpen-HeartSurgery.要不这样你买♥♥一架GulfstreamG-IV飞机Howaboutthis?YoubuyaGulfstreamG-IVjet.已经有兴趣了一轮子卸掉Alreadyinterested.-Takethewheelsoff.把它拆了-把飞机变成公♥寓♥楼Get'emoffofthere.-Turnthejetintoanapartmentbuilding.人们可以住在自己的私人飞机里Peoplecouldliveinsidetheirownprivatejet.我们在为Jean-Ralphio想新的生意点子We'recurrentlycomingupwithbusinessideasforJean-Ralphio因为今天他的银行账户爆♥炸♥了'causeasoftoday,hisbankaccountisblowingup.我用老式方法赚钱Imademymoneytheold-fashionedway.*我被豪车给撞翻了*IgotrunoverbyaLexus还是不敢相信官司能赔那公多钱Istillcan'tbelieveyouwonallthatmoneyinthelawsuit.你基本上没受伤Youbarelygothurtatall.你也想被撞吗因为我认识个人Doyouwanttogetrunover?BecauseIknowaguy.超级轻柔的小小擦伤大笔赔款Supergentle.Minorscrapesandbruises,majordollarsandcents.我知道了你最擅长什么Igotit.Whatareyouamazingat?我知道我们都知道我们就同时说吧Iknowit.Webothknowit,let'sjustsayitatthesametime.创造奇观-.奇观Creatingspectacles.-.spectacles.嗯我想到了你成立Pawnee首家也是独家的No,Igotit.YoucreatePawnee'sfirstandonly高端全平台媒体娱乐联合体high-end,all-mediaentertainmentconglomerate.当然这当然是我必须要做的事Absolutely.That'sabsolutelywhatIhavetodo.是什么意思呢Whatdoesitmean?意思是音频视频电影3D电影夜店.是的Itmeansaudio,video,movies,3-Dmovies,nightclubs.-Yeah.iPhone程序如果是娱乐你就要参与.iPhoneapps.Ifit,sentertainment,you'reinvolved.是的我当然会Yes,ofcourseIam.然后你叫它Andyoucallit.娱乐7二。Entertainment7Twenty.不No!为啥为啥啊Why?Why?你别尖叫了Yougottastopscreaming.我会的我就是很激动为什么我们要叫它娱乐7二。啊Iwill,Ijustgetexcited.WhydowecallitEntertainment7Twenty?因为你愿意为你的客户转地球两圈'Causeyou'rewillingtogoaroundtheworldtwiceforyourclients.太难以置信了Thatisunbelievable!但听我说听我说Butlistentome,listentome.我需要你加入我的团队才能搞定好吧mgonnaneedyouonmyteamtopullthisoff,allright?我做这个不能没有你Ican'tdothiswithoutyou.我不知道啊大哥我不行我得辞职Idon'tknow,man.Ican't.dhavetoquitmyjob.好那我不和你一起做了Okaylldoitwithoutyou.公园与游憩公园与游憩第3季第16集第3季第16集我有很重要的新闻要发布Ihavesomeveryimportantnews是关于我们最喜欢的迷你马Li'lSebastian的aboutourfavoritemini-horse,Li'lSebastian.耶Li'lSebastianYay!Li'lSebastian!他昨晚去世了Hediedlastnight不No.但我们可以安心的是他已经在天堂了Butwecantakecomfortinthefactthatheisinheavennow,做着他最喜欢的两件事doingthetwothingshelovesdoingthemost.吃胡萝卜和自♥由♥撒尿Eatingcarrotsandurinatingfreely.我早上上班时看到降了半旗WhenIwalkedinthismorningandsawtheflagwasathalf-mast,我想”太棒了Ithought,"Allright.又有个官员领便当了"Anotherbureaucratateit."但我后来发现是Li'lSebastianButthenIfoundoutitwasLi'lSebastian.降半旗也太高了Half-mastistoohigh.表现点该死的尊严好吗Showsomedamnedrespect.因为他为这个镇做的一切Becauseofallhe'sdoneforthetown,我们要为他办一个小型的哀悼仪式wearegonnabeholdingasmallmemorialserviceforhim.但现在Butfornow,我觉得我们应该默哀一会儿Ithinkweshouldbowourheadsinamomentofsilence.ShaniaTwain-Man!IFeelLikeaWoman!作为女人最好的事情Bestthingaboutbeingawoman是有享受一点点乐趣的特权Istheprerogativetohavealittlefunand哦哦哦完全变疯子忘记我是女士Oh,oh,oh,gototallycrazy,forgetmalady男士衬衫还有短裙Men'sshirts,shortskirts我来吧谢谢Igotithankyou.就是这种时候当某人或者某马去世的时候lt,stimeslikethis,whensomeone,orsomehorse,passes,你才真的开始审视你的生活thatyoureallytakestockofyourlife.你看看周围发现你自己Youlookaroundyou,andyoustarttorealize真正在意的是什么whatitisthatyoutrulycareabout.对Li'lSebastian我猜应该是新鲜的麦秆马槽里的水ForLi'lSebastian,Iimagineitwasgoodfreshoats,atroughofwater,娱乐720商业计划和一个自愿的性伙伴不自愿的也行andawillingsexualpartner.Ornon-willing.他是匹马所以我觉得他们怎么样都是要做的Hewasahorse,soIthinktheyhadtodoiteitherway.Hey.嘿Ann最近咋样Hey,Ann,how'sitgoing?不用客套我知道你是想在这见Leslie的Youdon'thavetopretend.Iknowyou'resupposedtomeetLesliehere.但我也很好奇最近咋样了Butmalsocuriousabouthowit'sgoing.嗯哼Leslie正忙她在准备Li'lSebastian的哀悼仪式Mmm-hmm.Leslie,sbusy,she'sworkingontheLi'lSebastianmemorialservice.但你知道吗她把这张纸条留卜来给你Butyouknowwhat?Shedidgivemethisnotetogivetoyou,然后她也想让我深深吻你andshealsowantedmetokissyoudeeply,这一条我把话带到就行了好whichmgoingtohavetopasson.-Okay.我真的喜欢我在这儿的新兼♥职♥Ireallylikemynewpart-timejobhere.我的新同事搬离了市政厅所以这个房♥间只属于我MyofficematemoveddownthehallsoIhavethiswholeroomjustforme.还有Ben和Leslie他俩偷偷在这里.AndBenandLeslie,whosecretlymeethere.一天见40回.fortytimesaday.她画了一只亲吻恶魔Shedrewakissmonster在纸条上onthenote.是啊Yeah.听着我非常乐意你俩来用我的办公室1.ook,youguysaretotallywelcometousemyoffice,但别在我桌上做啥就行justdon'tdoanythingonmydesk哦我们不是.你知道的Oh,wedon't.youknow.我们只是喜欢在同一个地方工作Wejustliketoworkinthesameplace,然后我们聊聊天牵牵手andthenwetalkandholdhands.哎呀那感觉更糟糕了Yuck,that'ssomehowworse.是的我自己听起来也很糟糕Yeah,itsoundedbadwhenIsaidit.现在开始我们不再缅怀LiISebastian的死亡Fromnowon,westopmourningLi'lSebastian'sdeath,我们开始庆祝他的一生andwestartcelebratinghislife.这是他想要的阿门That'swhathewouldhavewanted.-Amen.我们需要把那个荣耀的野兽送去来世Weneedtosendthatgloriousbeastintothegreatbeyond办一场能与超级碗中场秀匹敌的仪式withadisplaythatrivalstheSuperBowlhalf-timeshow.还有预算是600刀AlSo,thebudgetis$600.所以维修部会搭好台子Somaintenanceisgonnasetupthestage.Ron要献上纪念花圈Ronwillbelayingtheceremonialwreath.1.eslie有一首13世纪但丁啊利吉耶里写的意大利诗歌♥会十分适合1.eslie,there,sa13thcenturyItalianpoembyDanteAlighierithatwouldbeveryappropriate.哦Jerry听起来太好了Oh,Jerry,thatsoundswonderful.好的Andy我需要你写一首纪念歌♥曲Okay,Andy,Ineedyoutowriteamemorialsong.EltonJohn写给已故戴安娜王妃的纪念歌♥曲像风中之烛那样的但好五千倍吧SomethinglikeCandleintheWind,but5,000timesbetter.简单-嘿你写歌♥要想请出AndyDwyerEasy.-Hey,ifyouwantasongfromAndyDwyer,老鼠耗子乐队主唱你该知道他少于一千块不会起床出场的leadsingerofMouseRat,youshouldknowhedoesn'tgetoutofbedforlessthan$1,000.嗯他睡在个蒲团上所以我们可以给他五十块Well,hesleepsonafuton,soWecangivehim50bucks.成交Sold.好的这是一份关于Li,lSebastian一些事实的备忘录Okay,hereisamemowithsomefactsaboutLi'lSebastian.我觉得你会发现你那份特别有意思Ithinkyou,llfindyoursparticularlyinteresting.这就是事实列表啊-什么It'sjustalistoffacts.-What?好吧我的上面写着"你有个翘臀"Okay,minesays,"Youhaveacutebutt."好奇怪可能是打错了吧That'sweird.Mustbeatypo.是啊Jerry应该是打错了Yeah,Jerry,it'sprobablyatypo,因为它应该说的可能是“你有个柱臀”becauseitprobablyshould'vesaid,',Youhaveacubebutt."因为你的屁♥股♥和柱子一样'Causeyourbutt'sshapedlikeacube.是啊Yeah.问题是为什么我的备忘录和其他人都不一样Thequestionis,whyismymemodifferentthaneveryoneelse,s?柱臀柱臀Cubebutt,cubebutt.柱臀柱臀Cubebutt,cubebutt.嗯好消息是这只是肌腱炎Well,thegoodnewsisthisisjusttendonitis.这怎么是好消息Howisthatgoodnews?另一个可能是肩膀癌Theotheroptionwasshouldercancer.真的吗不Really?-No.你看你运动充足你身材也很好1.ook,youexercisealot.You'reingreatshape.你这个年龄的男性发生这种小事情很正常1.ittlethingslikethishappenwithmenofyourage.我的年龄Menofmyage?你觉得我多老了啊HowolddoyouthinkIam?42岁Forty-two.我44岁了我计划活到150岁Iam44,andIplantolivetobe150.好吧Okay.所以怎么治疗So.What'sthecure?搞个时间机器回到20岁Getatimemachine.Gobacktobeing20.Harris医生你真的是我遇见过最刻薄的人了Dr.Harris,youareliterallythemeanestpersonIhaveevermet.好的那个马葬礼的所有许可都办下来了Okay,allthepermitsclearedforthehorsefuneral.你什么语气-什么Whatwasthattone?-What?哦没事0h,nothing.我对此很伤心mverysadaboutthis.问题谁是个天才Question!Who'sagenius?答案TOmHaverfordAnswer,TomHaverford.原因Jean-Ralphio刚刚创办一家独家高端的制♥作♥公♥司♥Reason,Jean-Ralphiojuststartedanexclusive,high-endproductioncompany,然后他乐意安排Li'lSebastian的哀悼仪式andhe'swillingtoputonLi'lSebastian'smemorialservice无偿服务只为了“公”probono,justforthepub.“公”是公众宣传的简称Pubisanabbreviationforpublicity.Jean-Ralphio就是个小丑Jean-Ralphioisaclown.这是Li'lSebastian的哀悼仪式ThisisthememorialforLi'lSebastian,不是脱衣舞俱乐部的双券之夜notdouble-couponnightatastripclub.首先双券之夜真的非常有价值FirstOffdouble-couponnightisanincrediblevalue.第二这个家伙刚刚开始一项事业Secondly,thisguyjuststartedabusiness.他是我朋友这会帮他大忙的He,smyfriend.Itwouldreallyhelphimout.此外我还会监管一切情况保证一切都会很好Plus,mgonnaoverseeeverythingandmakesureitgoesgreat.好的Tom我们信任你Okay,Tom,wetrustyou.让我们骄傲吧Makeusproud.让他骄傲Makehimproud.你们为啥不把那个PS掉啊Whydon'tyoujustPhotoshopthatout?嗨AnnPerkins-嗨Hi,AnnPerkins.-Hi.你还好吗-我快死了Howareyou?-I'mdying.什么What?肌腱炎哦Tendonitis.-Oh.不至于用“我快死了”这种说法吧Idon'tknowifyoushouldleadwith"mdying."你说得对你说得对所以You'reright,you'reright.So.你怎么了What,supwithyou?我在帮Leslie策划Li,lSebastian的哀悼仪式mjusthelpingLeslieplanLi,lSebastian'smemorialservice.1.i,lSebastian去世了吗这也太糟了1.i,lSebastiandied?That'sterrible.是的但他很老了他也有一大堆疾病啊Yeah,well,hewasold,andhehadalotofailments.比如肌腱炎吗1.iketendonitis?我不知道1don'tknow.我面前没有他的病历Idon'thavehischartinfrontofme.你能找到吗Couldyougetit?什么不是没有病历啊What?No.There,snochart.哦我的天Oh,myGod.死亡不可避免Deathisinescapable.再见了AnnPerkinsGoodbye,AnnPerkins.好的我几分钟后要去你办公室见他了看起来如何Okay,sommeetinghiminyourofficeinafewminutes.HowdoIlook?你准备走什么路线Whatareyougoingfor?老练中带一点点性感Sophisticatedwithahintofslutty.正中红心Bulls-eye.见到你为一个男的开心挺好的Sonicetoseeyousohappyaboutaguy.谢谢我不知道了我看到我现在的生活Thanks.Idon,tknow.WhenIlookatmyliferightnow,觉得几乎已经完美了itfeelsalmostperfect.我是说我们只能偷偷摸摸1mean,wehavetosneakaround,但奇怪的是没人知道其实挺好玩的butweirdly,it'skindoffunthatnobodyknows.我能明白Icouldseethat.说够我的事了Ann怎么样Enoughaboutme.How'sAnn?我现在挺开心的一般来说mprettyhappyrightnow,generally.虽然我今天确实见到ChriS了他总是让我猝不及防AlthoughIdidseeChristoday.Healwaysjustthrowsmeoff.我不想聊Chris每次我听到他的名字Idon'twanttotalkaboutChris.EverytimeIhearhisname,我就想到他会发现我和Ben的事情Ithinkaboutthefactthathe,sgonnafindoutaboutmeandBen,然后会开除我俩andhe'sgonnafirebothofus.还有他伤你有多深Andabouthowmuchhehurtyou.是啊就是这样-是的Yeah,thereyougo.-Yeah.你好啊LeslieHeno,Leslie.你和Ben睡了有多久了HowlonghaveyoubeensleepingwithBen?什么What?你和Ben睡了有多久了HowlonghaveyoubeensleepingwithBen?这也太恶心太错误rThat'sdisgustingandwrong.我甚至没为啥你我Idon'tevenget.Whywould.I.我没和任何人在任何地方做过爱I'veneverhadsexwithanyoneanywhere.这不是你的It'snoneofyour.你有种胆大包Youhavethenerve,theaudacity.Ben是我的老板严格来讲Benismyboss,technically.而且他很烂长相来说Andheisterrible,facewise.然后怎么我怎么知道实际上Andhow.HowdoIknow,frankly,是不是你跟他睡过了呢thatyou'renotsleepingwithhim?没准你是没准你是想让我猝不及防Maybeyouare.Maybeyou'retryingtothrowmeoff.哼将了个军Hmm.Checkandmate.这实在太过分了我要找谁举报Thisisanoutrage!WhodoIcall?哩哩-哩哩Hey,hey.-Hey,hey.嘿Ron听着你就是我要找的人Hey,Ron.Listen,you'rejustwhoIwaslookingfor.你你是不是忘了Areyou.Didyouforgetthe.你我能要那个吗Didyou.CanIgetthatthing?我们就Canwejust.你带来了吗Didyoubringit?这谁也骗不了了Thisisn'tconvincing.你怎么发现的Howdidyoufindout?我们共事有一阵子了We'veworkedtogetherforawhilenow.我倾向于觉得我挺了解你了dliketothinkIknowyouprettywell.此外Ben的屁♥股♥昨晚打给我了Plus,Benbutt-dialedmelastnight.好呢好呢这是埃莉诺罗斯福亲吻的方式Okay,okay.AndthisishowEleanorRooseveltwouldkiss.哇埃莉诺喜欢舌头呢Whoa.Eleanorlikesthetongue.国会前众议院议长南希佩洛西嘿再给我看看Pelosi的Hey,showmePelosiagain.好躺下Okay,laydown.联邦法♥院♥第二任大♥法♥官拜托告诉我你在RuthBaderGinsberg之前挂掉了PleasetellmeyouhungupbeforeRuthBaderGinsburg.不幸的是我没有Unfortunatelynot.这是个迟早会爆出来的丑闻Thisisascandalwaitingtohappen.如果你被抓很明显你会的Ifyougetcaught,whichyouclearlywill,Chris会开了你Chriswillfireyou.而我不会有办法阻止他AndIwon'tbeabletostophim.Ron我们很小心的Ron,we'rebeingverycareful.哦里根总统我的上衣纽扣弹开了Oh,PresidentReagan,myblazerpoppedopen.哎呀撒切尔夫人让我来帮帮你吧Well,MaggieThatcher,letmehelpyouwiththat.这次峰会之路会十分颠簸的It,sgonnabeabumpyridetothissummitmeeting.我们的国家有非常够了Ourcountrieshavehadavery.-Okay.是的特殊的关系.Yes.-.specialrelationship.哦不Oh,no!你说明你的观点了You'veprovenyourpoint.在我心里我伤心你只能死啦Inmyheart,msadyouhadtodie.小小马呀张开翅膀学着飞吧1.i,Ihorse,spreadyourwingsandlearntofly.马不会飞啊Horsesdon'tfly.所以我才跟他说That'swhymtellinghim,“学着飞”"learntofly."来嘛帮帮我我这赌注很大的Comeon,helpme.There'salotridingonthis.这是Li'lSebastian去小马天堂时会听的东西啊ThisiswhatLi'lSebastian,sgonnalistentoinhorseyheaven.好吧我来听听你现在为止最喜欢的一段Okay,letmehearyourfavoriteonesofar.* 你是个冠军啊小马*You'reachampionlittlehorse* 而你死了*Andyou'redead* 你是死亡的冠军*You'rethechampionofdeath* 你是死亡的冠军*You'rethechampionofdeath要不写一段不要用"死”太多的Maybetrytodoonewithouttheword"dead"somuch.或者“死亡"或者“你死了”Or"death"or"you'redead."你看你已经在帮我了See?You'rehelpingmealready.所以现在知道的人只有我妈Ann和RonSotheonlypeoplethatknowaremymom,Ann,andRon.他们什么都不会说的Andthey'renotgonnasayanything.对就别在上班时间鬼混了Right.Justnomorefoolingaroundatwork.好行我们不能这样Okay,yeah.Wecan't.嗯我是说你知道可能会有你做了什么好事Well,Imean,youknow,asituationcouldarisewhereyoudosomethinggood,然后我祝贺你的情况andIcongratulateyou.就像一个职业化的拥抱1.ike,withaprofessionalhug.你知道就像这样Youknow,kindoflikethis,“哦祝贺你啊""Oh,congratulations."那感觉很适合-是的Thatfeelsappropriate.-Yeah.是啊我是说我觉得我们那样能隐瞒住Yeah,Imean,Ithinkwecangetawaywiththat只要我们不这样做aslongasWedon'tdostufflikethis.嘿小情侣Hey,lovebirds.我拿这玩意儿怎么办啊WhatdoIdowiththis?你就放在那儿吧好Youcanjustleaveitthere.-Okay.所以我妈RonAnn还有那个家伙Somymom,Ron,Ann,andthatguy.纪念缎带用吗Forthememorialribbons?肯定啦那种你觉得展♥Nodoubt.Whichonefloatsyourpenis?这些都是黑色啊They'reallblack.没准对外行是的JerryMaybetothelayman,Jerry.黑曜石黑编玛瑙黑午夜黑失落灵魂黑轮番停电黑Obsidian,onyx,midnight,lostsoul,rollingblackout,沉睡美洲豹黑以及阿玛尼的虚无黑sleepingpanther,andvoidbyArmani.嘿Jerry这个颜色对你来说也是黑色吗Hey,Jerry,doesthislookblacktoyou,too?AnnAnn.找到你太好了SogladIfoundyou.我能跟你聊会儿吗CanItalktoyouforaminute?嗯好吧Um,okay.我需要问你个问题Ineedtoaskyouaquestion,如果你现在觉得回答不舒服的话andifyou'reuncomfortableansweringitrightnow,你可以花点时间考虑一下没问题的youcantakesometimeandthinkaboutit.Thatwouldbeokay.好Okay.肌腱炎是不是意味着什么更大的问题呢Istendonitissymptomaticofsomethinglarger?真的吗那是你想问我的问题吗Really,that'sthequestionyouwantedtoaskme?我只是特别担心mjustveryworried.我不确定那个医生接受了真正的培训mnotsurethatthisdoctor,sbeenproperlytrained.你知道吗Chris我很抱歉但我不是你的护上了Youknowwhat,Chris?msorry,butmnotyournurse,我也不是你的女朋友.andmnotyourgirlfriendand.我两次都觉得我是但我都错了IthoughtIwastwice,andIwaswrong,挺尴尬的whichwasembarrassing.我只是还没准备好做你的朋友mjustnotreadytobeyourfriend.当然对不起Ofcourse.msorry.但我真心希望在我死前我们能成为朋友1dohopewecanbefriendsbeforeIdie.你好朋友嘿Hi,friend.-Hey.嘿-嘿Hey.-Hey.你刚刚看见的不是你想象的那个样子Whatyousawwasnotwhatyouthinkitis.我只是在祝贺她因为她有点好消息Iwasjustcongratulatingherbecauseshegotsomegoodnews.哦对哦-是的Oh,right.-Yeah.我们都被考虑了这个事情这个真的Wewerebothkindofupforthisthing,thisreally.我赢得了麦克阿瑟天才奖IwontheMacArthurGeniusGrant.是的是的Yeah.-Yeah.是的所以才有刚刚那个拥抱Yeah,sothat'swhatthehugwasallabout当然了恭喜啊Sure.Congratulations.谢谢-嘿你知道吗Thankyou.-Hey,youknowwhat?你这边的职责我们包了We'llcoveryourdutieshere.你今天就可以回去休息了Youshouldjusttaketherestofthedayoff.哦那挺好的啊你该那么做你也该去做个按♥摩♥Oh,that'sagoodidea.Youshoulddothatandyoushouldgetamassage.实际h我有个礼品券是我妈让我给你的Ihaveagiftcertificate,actually.Mymomgaveittomeforyou.哦我的天-是的Oh,myGod.-Yes!那真好啊That'ssonice.好吧嗯谢谢rOkay.Well,thanks.谢谢你也谢谢你的谨慎Thankyou.Andthankyouforyourdiscretion.当然Yougotit.很高兴碰到你George-行Itwasgreattoseeyou,George.-Yes.欢迎各位Welcome,everyone.Sebastian可能只算小SebastianmayhavebeenLi'l,但他对这个镇和公园部的影响buthisimpactonthistownandtheParksDepartment可完全不小wasanythingbutLi,l.我想介绍他的主人们Michael和ElizabethStoneIwouldliketointroducehisowners,MichaelandElizabethStone还有他的两个至亲好友andtwoofhisclosestfriends.上音乐灯光然后Cuemusicandlights,and.上瓢虫上椰子GoLadybug,goCoconut.椰子和瓢虫都已就位CoconutandLadybugbothinposition.椰子不仅仅是个朋友Not
