ParksandRecreation《公园与游憩（2009）》第三季第十二集完整中英文对照剧本.docx
周一早上好啊Ron-早上好Goodmorning,Ron.-Morning.我知道你多享受文书工作但别在那晃了1knowhowmuchyouenjoypaperwork,butdon'thover.椅子不错是新的吗Nicebench.Isthatnew?不那个90年代就呆在这儿了No,that'sbeentheresincethe'90s.你周五生日怎么安排WhatareyoudoingforyourbirthdayonFriday?没安排我从没.Nothing.Inever.啊哈Aha!哦天Oh,God.生日生日生日Birthday,birthday,birthday你的生日到了It,syourbirthday你的生日到了我知道是哪一天了It,syourbirthday,andIknowwhenitisRon拒绝告诉任何人他生日是哪一天Ronrefusestotellanyonewhenhisbirthdayis.他甚至在所有政♥府♥文件上都划掉了He,sevenhaditredactedonallgovernmentdocuments.三年的调查电♥话♥ThreeyearsOfinvestigations,phonecalls,信息自♥由♥法案请求仍然一无所获FreedomOfInformationActrequests,andstilbIhadnothing,冰淇淋店直到精巧贿赂Baskin-Robbins的某绅士换来这份情报untilawell-placedbribetoagentlemanatBaskin-RobbinsrevealedRon的生日是这周五Ron'sbirthdayisonFriday.该死我已经那么小心了Damnit.Iwassocareful.哼你搞砸了吧Well,youblewit.就只为了一勺免费的朗姆酒菊萄干AllforafreescoopofRumRaisin.值得吗ROn值得吗Wasitworthit,Ron?Wasit?我命令你什么都不要做Icommandyoutodonothing.我不会什么都不做的我要做点什么mnotgonnadonothing.mgonnadosomething.会搞得很大的Andit,sgonnabereallybig.我有很多年需要补上呢Ihavealotofyearstomakeupfor.我不喜欢吵闹的声音和人们小题大做1don'tlikeloudnoisesandpeoplemakingafuss,而我尤其不喜欢人们庆祝andIespeciallydon'tlikepeoplecelebrating知道了我的一条私人信息becausetheyknowapieceofprivateinformationaboutme.此外这整个事情都是个骗局Plus,thewholethingisascam.Hallmark著名贺卡品牌生日是贺曼公♥司&hearts泼明用来卖♥♥贺卡的BirthdayswereinventedbyHallmarktosellcards.公园与游憩公园与游憩第3季第12集第3季第12集他们立了个栅栏Theyputupafence.谁Who?不是吧-那是啥No!-What'sthat?Pawnee和Eagleton之间有个小公园然后.There'sasmallparkonthelinebetweenPawneeandEagleton,and.昨晚Eagleton在他们那侧立起一片栅栏1.astnightEagletonputupafencearoundtheirside来阻止我们恶心的Pawnee流浪汉们踏上他们的宝贵之地tokeepusdisgustingPawneehobosofftheirpreciousland.他们甚至还安排了保安需要出示Eagleton身份证才能进入There'sevenasecurityguard.YougottoshowEagletonI.D.togetin.Eagleton就是一群有钱的势利小人Eagletonisabunchofrichsnobs.这句话还是来自我这个开着奔驰Andthat'scomingfromsomeonewhohasaMercedes.车上带有哈曼卡顿L7环绕声音响系统的人WithaHarmanKardonLogic7surround-soundsystem.谁会立栅栏阻止小孩在操场上玩啊Whobuildsafencetokeepkidsoutofaplayground?三个字LindsayCarlisleShayThreewords.LindsayCarlisleShay.谁啊Who?1.indsayCarlisleShay曾和我是最好的朋友1.indsayCarlisleShayandIusedtobebestfriends.我们曾在Pawnee公园部一起工作WeworkedtogetheratthePawneeParksDepartment.然后她去Eagleton上班了ThenshewenttoworkinEagleton”治好了鼻中隔偏曲”and"fixedherdeviatedseptum"减掉了30斤的体重还掉了点什么andlost35poundsandlostsomethingelse.是什么来着呢Whatwasitagain?哦对她的灵魂Oh,yeah.Hersoul.Eagleton那边真的比Pawnee这边好那么多吗IstheEagletonsidereallythatmuchbetterthanthePawneeside?公平来讲是的Tobefair,yeah.我们这边是一片破烂的地方Oursideisthisscrappypieceofland只有小孩子去砸日光灯管wherekidsgotosmashfluorescentlighttubes.但这个地方很有心Butithasalotofheart.那是啥东西很烂的时候人们经常说的That'swhatpeoplealwayssaywhensomethingsucks.我们应该支持自己的镇好吗Weshouldstandupforourtown,okay?Pawnee人就和Eagleton人一样好PawneeansarejustasgoodasEagletonians,除了平均起来我们矮几公分然后胖72斤althoughonaverage,weareseveralinchesshorterand80poundsheavier.Eagleton人们对我们完全刻薄PeopleinEagletonarestraightupmeantous.我根本不会踏足那个地方Iwouldneversetfootoverthere.但那是唯个我能买♥♥到宝宝与宝宝洗护用品的地方Butit,stheonlyplacethatIcangetmyBumbleandBumblehaircareproducts,所以我每8天要去一次somthereeveryeightdays.好的嗯我要开展”栅栏不再行动”了Okay,well,Iamon"OperationNoMoreFence,'1所以我让你负责“Ron的生日聚会:震撼与惊叹”行动somputtingyouinchargeof"OperationRon'sParty,colon,ShockAndAwe."交给我吧Iamalloverit.我只需要你做列表上的东西Ijustneedyoutodowhat'sonthatlist.1.eslie有很多让我恐惧的特质1.esliehasalotOfqualitiesIfindhorrifying.但目前最吓人的是她能考虑得多周到Buttheworstonebyfarishowthoughtfulshecanbe.这是我家周围唯一一个公园It'stheonlyparkinourneighborhood.公共论♥坛♥关于Eagleton栅栏那我的孩子们要在哪玩啊采石场吗Imean,wherearemykidssupposedtoplay,therockquarry?那里有石头啊There'srocksinthere.为什么我们不放火烧r栅栏呢你们知道的点燃它Whydon'twejustsetfiretothefence?Youknow,setitablaze.那是纵火罪That'sarson.呃那些留给律师去处理吧重点是能管用Well,let'sleavethatuptothelawyers.Thepointis,itwouldwork.为什么我们不在他们栅栏周围建一道栅栏呢Whydon'twebuildafencearoundtheirfence?为什么那样能给我们两道栅栏Why?-Itwouldgiveustwofences,所以如果他们要去他们的栅栏那搞维护还是什么soiftheyneededtogettotheirfenceformaintenanceandwhatnot,他们的裤子可能会被绊到theirpantsmightgetcaught.我儿子Joey试着爬上那道栅栏去Eagleton那边玩MysonJoeytriedtoscalethatfencetoplayontheEagletonside,然后摔伤了胳膊andhefellandhurthisarm.你们需要让那些人把栅栏拆下来Youneedtogetthosepeopletotearthatfencedown.这位女士是对的Thiswoman,sright.我向你们保证PaWnee的居民们Ipromiseyou,citizensofPawnee,还有可爱勇敢的Joeyandsweet,braveJoey,我会拆掉那道栅栏的Iwillteardownthatfence.好吧我还想再建议一次把它烧掉Okay,mjustgonnasuggestonemoretimethatweburnitdown.但随便你们怎么觉得吧Butwhateveryouguysthink.好的很好Yeah.Great.是的你好Yes,hi.我有个关于你们充气萨克斯的问题Ihaveaquestionaboutyourinflatablesaxophones.他们有不同大小的吗Dothosecomeindifferentsizes?480个我需要大概40打的那个mgonnaneedabout40dozenofthose.还有你们的霓虹色黑帮软呢相呢Also,whataboutyourneongangsterfedorahats?这样很无礼啊Thatwasrude.不管这里发生了什么立即停下Whatever'sgoingonhere,stopitimmediately.我只是在打电♥话♥而已Iwasjusttalkingonthephone.给谁-私事Towhom?-Itwaspersonal.我永远不会打工作相关的电♥话♥你也知道的Iwouldnevermakeawork-relatedcall.Youknowthat.1.indsay!-LeslieKnope1.indsay!-LeslieKnope.嗨-嗨Hi.-Hi.真的过了五年了吗Hasitreallybeenfiveyears?是的你看起来太棒了Ithas.Youlookamazing.谢谢这个地方一点都没变Thankyou.Thisplacehasn'tchangedabit.还是可爱但是肮脏啊Stillloveable,butgrimy.你好我是BenWyatt助理市政经理Hello,there.mBenWyatt.massistantcitymanager.嗨DanHi,Dan.是Ben-不重要Ben."It'snotimportant.这个名字不会再出现了Itwon,tcomeupagain.这位是Ann她是我最好的朋友ThisisAnn.Sheismybestfriend.你好-现在的Hi.-Now.她是个护士在医院上班Andshe'sanurse,andsheworksatahospital.哦Oh.幸会抱歉就是护上啊Nicetomeetyou.-msorry.Itsjust,nursing.你肯定是又累又愁吧Youmustbesotiredandsad.外面真的很不错我们在我院子里聊聊吧It,sreallyniceoutside.Shallwespeakinmycourtyard?好Yeah.嗯非常感谢你顺便来这儿Well,thankyousomuchforstoppingby.我总是要路过Pawnee的IwaspassingthroughPawneeanyway.我在这做很多慈善工作1doalotofcharityworkhere.只能做到这个程度了There'sonlysomuchyoucando.你知道我找到一张旧日的照片Youknow,Ifoundapictureofyoufrombackintheday.哦Oh.看看啊1.ookatthat.让我好好看看1.etmegetacloserlook.所以我们来说说Lafayette公园Solet'stalkaboutLafayettePark.哦是的栅栏Oh,yes.Thefence.我只是想保护我们的孩子monlytryingtoprotectourchildren.别啊LindSay你不是这样的Comeon,Lindsay,thisisn'tyou.我们以前在这一起工作的时候Whenweusedtoworkheretogether,都热爱公园是给所有人的这个事实啊Welovedthefactthatparkswereforeveryone.这才是让公园这么棒的原因That'swhatmakesthemsogreat.你知道什么才算真的棒吗Youknowwhat'sreallygreat?私有的不是给所有人准备的公园Aprivateparkthat'snotforeveryone.哇的天你在乎什么呢Wowsers.-Whatdoyoucare?就是个小烂公园而已It,sjustacrappylittlepark.嗯有人曾经跟我说过Well,someoneoncetoldme没有小公园thatthere'snosuchthingassmallparks,只有小点子justsmallideas.是么Hmm.那个有人Andthatsomeone是这个女人wasthiswoman.你想拿就拿吧我有很多份还有底片Youcantakeitifyouwant.1havemanycopiesandthenegatives.我也有JPEG电子档AndIhaveaJPEG.栅栏不会拆的Thefencestaysup.1.indsay如果我们.-亲爰的1.indsay,ifwe.-Sweetie,我以最和善的方式跟你讲andImeanthisinthenicestpossibleway,Pawnee是也一直会是一个肮脏的小噩梦Pawneeisandalwayswillbeadirty,littlenightmare而你永远无法从中醒来fromwhichyouwillneverwakeup.但见到你还是很好Butitwasgoodseeingyou.啥我可没在睡着我醒着呢What?I'mnotasleep.mawake.我可清醒了我还要一直盯着你呢mwideawake,andIgotmyeyesonyou.这是我当时如果想到会说的话That'swhatIwould'vesaidifIhadthoughtofitinthemoment.我实际卜.说了啥WhatdidIsayinstead?周二哇这是他们开公共论&hearts坛♥的地方吗Wow!Thisiswheretheyhavetheirpublicforums?是啊也没那么好Yeah,it'snotthatgreat.他们有代客泊车啊Theyhadavalet.是的Eagleton上匕Pawnee好Yes,EagletonisnicerthanPawnee.而且是的因为他们的纸杯蛋糕工厂And,yes,becauseoftheircupcakefactory,空气永远闻起来像香草味theairalwayssmellslikevanilla.哦是的哇Oh,yeah.Wow.但他们的人们不是天生就比我们强Buttheirpeoplearenotinherentlybetterthanourpeople.他们唯一能打败我们的就是预期寿命Theonlythingtheybeatusinislifeexpectancy,选美比赛以及人均收入谁在乎呢beautypageants,andaverageincome.Whocares?仿事实预警Factoidalert.Eagleton是以前的Pawnee人们建立的EagletonwasfoundedbyformerPawneeans.Pawnee成立于1817年5月PawneewasestablishedinMayof1817.而到了7月AndbyJuly,觉得气味难闻土壤很难维持findingthesmellunpleasantandthesoiluntenable,所有的有钱人都疏散到Eagleton了allthewealthypeopleevacuatedtoEagleton.你们好啊PawneeHeno,Pawnee.欢迎来到我们的公共论♥坛♥Welcometoourpublicforum.嗨我是ThomasMontgomeryHaverfordHi,mThomasMontgomeryHaverford.好吧-嗯行头不错Okay.-Well,niceoutfit.怎么你是刚从马厩问来的吗What,didyoujustcomefromthestables?是的我刚刚在马厩Yes.Iwasjustatthestables.看起来你努力工作很久了啊Youlooklikeyou'vebeenworkinghard.你现在简直是一头乱发啊Youhaveamillionfly-awaysrightnow.你需要借一面镜子或者一本自我帮助的书吗Wouldyouliketoborrowamirrororaself-helpbook?我不需要Iwouldnot.我需要你放下你傲慢的态度LindsayIwouldlikeyoutogetoffyourhighhorse,Lindsay.我需要你从你的高马上下来这是双关Punintended.你知道如果我接受了你的工作YouknowifIhadyourjob,现在那里就不会有栅栏了吧therewouldbenofencethere.嗯你没接受我的工作因为你知道你搞不定啊Well,youdon'thavemyjobbecauseyouknewyoucouldn,thandleit.论♥坛♥要开始了Theforumisbeginning.我们有一点点Eagleton事务要处理We'vegotalittlebitofEagletonbusiness,然后我再来介绍你们好andthen1Iintroduceyou.-Great看看这里的人都多漂亮啊1.ookhowprettythepeopleare.嘿RonHey,Ron.你家周围的街边停车情况如何How'sthestreetparkingatyourhouse?什么What?你能有位置停下比如20辆车或者一辆双层派对巴士吗Canyouhandle,like,20carsoradouble-deckerpartybus?我房♥子旁边没有街边停车Thereisnostreetparkingatmyhouse.我房♥子都不在街上Myhouseisnotevenonastreet.你有位置放比如一顶巨大的马戏团帐篷吗Doyouhavespacefor,like,ahugecircustent?嘿Ron你看见搞什么鬼啊Hey,Ron.Haveyouseen.Whatthehell?不No!哦Oh!哎呀看起来给寿星的气球没有了Well,looksliketherewon'tbeanyballoonsforthebirthdayboy.这些是给医院一个生病孩子的Thesewereforasickchildatthehospital.去我办公室现在Myoffice,now.我又不为你工作-我不在乎1don'tworkforyou.-Don'tcare.选哪个呢选哪个呢Decisions,decisions.我觉得我来个牛肝菌配波辛奶酪吧拜托您了Ithinkmgonnagowiththeporcinimushroomsandboursin,s'ilvousplait.Eagleton-Pawnee栅栏的危害比益处大得多.thattheEagleton-Pawneefencedoesalotmoreharmthanitdoesgood.大家好我是BertramRolandsEagleton公民Hello.mBertramRolands,citizenofEagleton.无意冒犯Knope女士Withallduerespect,Ms.Knope,你们就不能把你们那侧的公园打扫干净can'tyoujustcleanupyoursideofthepark,装一些新器材吗putsomenewequipmentthere?嗯我们也很想那样Well,wewouldlovetodothat,但不幸的是现在钱很紧张but,unfortunately,moneyistightrightnow.大家好我是ChristinePorterHello.mChristinePorter.我想恭敬地说我支持建栅栏Iwanttorespectfullysaythatminfavorofthefence.我把它当做是种对Pawnee的惩罚IseeitasakindOfpunishmentforPawnee我觉得可能会启发你们镇清理你们的行为thatmightinspireyourtowntocleanupitsact.嗯我想恭敬地说Well,Iwouldliketorespectfullysay任何孩子应该能在任何公园里玩耍thatanychildshouldbeabletoplayinanypark,不论财富和地位regardlessofwealthorstatus.总之这位是JoeyPlunkettAnyway,thisisJoeyPlunkett.Joey向观众们挥手吧Joey,wavetotheaudience.哦但你不能因为你爬栅栏时摔断了胳膊Oh,youcan,t,becauseyoubrokeyourarmclimbingthatfence.我可以挥这条胳膊-不你不行Icanwavewiththisarm.-No,youcan't.你的两条胳膊都摔坏了Bothyourarmsarebroken.无意冒犯我认识那个男孩子Allduerespect,Irecognizethatboy.他被抓到给Eagleton孩子卖♥♥烟花HewascaughtsellingfireworkstoEagletonkids.嗯更无意冒犯Well,withmoreduerespect,我们镇好多男孩子都这么做alotofboysdothatinourtown.你们没法确定就是他Youcannotbesurethatheistheone.这是个我们能如何帮助你们的完美例子Thisisaperfectexampleofhowwe'regoingtohelpyou.这杯敬你Joey还有你妈妈Here,stoyou,Joey,andyourmother还有每一位可能有光明未来的Pawnee市民andtoeveryPawneecitizenwhomighthaveabrightfuture只要他们从根本上改变自己的一切iftheyfundamentallychangeeverythingaboutthemselves.感谢LeslieKnope-我还没说完呢ThankstoLeslieKnope.-mnotdone.她是不是倾尽全力了啊Isn'tshetryingherhardest?太可爱又太好了Socuteandsogood.我只问你一次monlygonnaaskyouthisonce.我生日会发生什么Whatisgoingonwithmybirthday?我的天Ron是你的生日啊Oh,myGod.Ron,it,syourbirthday.生日快乐-闭上你该死的嘴HappyBirthday.-Shutyourdamnmouth.这次聊天真愉快Thisisafunconversation.只用告诉我Leslie计划了什么JusttellmewhatLeslieisplanning.实话说我不知道我什么都没听说Honestly,Idon'tknow.Ihaven'theardanything.为何不告诉我上次你生日她安排了什么呢Whydon'tyoutellmewhatshedidforyourlastbirthday?哦这那次可太刺♥激♥了Oh,well,thatwasintense.她彻底地给了我个惊喜Shetotallysurprisedme.她从医院绑♥架♥我出去Shekidnappedmefromwork,然后带我去那个地方Vega先生andthenshetookmetothatplace,SenorVega's,你知道有墨西哥街头乐队出来youknow,wherethemariachibandcomesout.在你头上戴一顶巨型阔边帽然后所有人合唱”生日快乐”Theyputabigsombreroonyou,andtheneverybodysings"HappyBirthday"?该死Damnit.然后我们回到我家Andthenwewentbacktomyhouse,她邀请r基本上我认识的所有人andsheinvitedbasicallyeveryoneIknew,然后他有一个很棒的男的会画脸andshehadthisgreatguydoingfacepainting,然后我当时画了个仙女老虎andIhadmyfacepaintedlikeafairytiger.Ugh.还有她是嗯在我生日之前一周搞的Also,shedidit,like,aweekbeforemybirthday,太天才了因为我根本没预料到whichisgenius,'causeIhadnoideaitwascoming.然后还有个充气城♥堡♥Andthentherewasabouncycastle.你知道他们还有成人款的吗Didyouknowtheymadethoseforadults?嗯哼Mmm-hmm.要不我这次换一个吧我能试试法式熏肠吗Maybellchangeitupthistime.CanItrytheandouillesausage?Tom我们走了-什么别啊Tom,let'sgo.-What?No.嘿你也这样啊Hey,notyoutoo.很难吃我不喜欢太恶心了It'sgross.Idon'tlikeit.It'sdisgusting.你们拿了公共论♥坛♥的礼品袋了吗Didyouguysgetyourpublicforumgiftbag?里面有个iPodtouch啊There'saniPodtouchinhere.唉她以前可不是这样的Eagleton真的改变了她Man,sheusedtonotbelikethis.Eagletonreallychangedher.是啊你们俩之前究竟发生了什么啊Yeah,whatexactlyhappenedbetweenthetwoofyou,anyway?五年前EagIeton想给我那份工作Fiveyearsago,Eagletonofferedmethatjob.然后你拒绝了你是疯r吗Andyousaidno?Areyouinsane?我和Lindsay聊过了ItalkeditoverwithLindsay,我们约定好要一起呆在PawneeandwemadeapactthatwewouldstayinPawneetogether努力工作打拼让Pawnee变成一个更适合居住的地方andworkhardandfighttomakePawneeabetterplacetolive.然后他们问她去不去工作她接受了就消失了Andthentheyofferedherthejob,andshetookitanddisappeared.哇Wow.哦马鞭草香的大豆蜡烛谟Ooh,verbena-scentedsoycandles!你想让我做什么啊Youwantmetodowhat,now?把Leslie送去执行个什么任务开个会之类的SendLesliesomewhereonanassignment,aconferenceorsomething,然后让她带上April然后冻结她们的账户andmakehertakeAprilandfreezetheirbankaccounts.我不理解是Leslie的工作令人不满意了吗Idon'tunderstand.IsLeslie'sworkunsatisfactory?不这和她的工作无关No,ithasnothingtodowithherwork.我不想仔细讲Idon'twanttogetintoit.Ron你看是我好吧Ron,look,thisisme,okay?你知道你可以跟我聊任何事的Youknowyoucantalktomeaboutanything.嗯这这周五是我的生日Well,it,s.it'smybirthdayonFriday.嘿生日快乐啊Hey!HappyBirthday.我现在就要结束这一切我准备早退然后回家mendingthisrightnow.mjustgonnaleaveearlyandgohome.除非Unless.那正是她想让我做的That'sexactlywhatshewantsmetodo.好的所有人拿个袋子然后打开Allright,everybodyjustgrababagandopenitup然后试着在里面找点脏东西andthentrytofindsomedirtystuffinthere.你们在干嘛Whatareyoudoing?Eagleton把我们当做垃圾我们就把他们当做垃圾Eagletontreatsuslikegarbage.We'regonnatreatthemlikegarbage.我们要拿这几袋垃圾扔到他们那边的公园里We'regonnatakethesebagsoftrash,andwe,regonnathrowitovertotheirsideofthepark.我们就要让它们变臭让浣熊撒野Andthenwe'rejustgonnaletthestinkandtheraccoonsrunwild.啊这不就是正中他们想象中的样子了吗Well,isn,tthatjustplayingrightintowhattheythinkofyou?哦我的天我在想什么我们停下吧Oh,myGod.WhatamIthinking?Let'sjuststopthis.把所有东西放回卡车kPuteverythingbackinthetruck.我们倒回去不不不不1.et'sbackitup.-No,no,no,no.1.eslie你保证过我们可以把垃圾到处乱扔的1.eslie,youpromisedwecouldthrowgarbageeverywhere.哇Wow.我没想到在这看到公园部全体人员Ididn'texpecttoseethewholeParksDepartmenthere,虽然很可悲的是这已经是镇上最好的地方之一了althoughitis,sadly,oneofthenicestspotsintown.我已经受够了LindsayIamsosickofthis,Lindsay.等等Leslie我来Wait,Leslie.vegotthis.你给我听着LindsayCarlisleShayYoulistentome,LindsayCarlisleShay.你为啥不带着你昂贵的狗Whydon'tyoutakeyourfancydog,回到你的Escalade豪车里getinyourEscalade,如果你们有职位空缺andifyouhaveanyjobopenings,或许你应该让我知道maybeyoushouldletmeknowabout'em.不是吧大哥不Comeo
