ParksandRecreation《公园与游憩（2009）》第二季第二集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

我只是想最后确认一次Ijustwanttocheckonelasttime你对这个和Mark的约会没意见thatyou'reokayaboutthisdatewithMark.哦天啊我完全没意见Ann真的没事的Oh,myGod.msofinewithit,Ann.Seriously.It'ssofine.只要你和我没问题AslongasyouandIarecool.你知道我的原则先姐们后哥们Youknowmycode.Hoesbeforebros.先子♥宫♥后男宫-懂了Uterusesbeforeduderuses.-Gotit.先卵子后精♥子♥Ovariesbeforebrovaries.你做的咖啡真好喝Youmakesuchgoodcoffee.我知道你嘴上说没关系1.ook,Iknowyou'resayingyou,reokaywithit,但我曾经也有过这种情况butvebeeninthispositionbefore,有个朋友跟我的前任约会andIhadafriendwhodatedanex,我说我没事但我不是有点奇怪andIsaidIwasokay,butIWaSntactually.Itwaskindofweird.但情况是Mark不是我前任Butthethingis,Markisn'tmyex.我们只是六年前上过床Youknow,weslepttogethersixyearsago.无所谓都过去了或者还没我开玩笑的Anyway,moverit.OramI?mjustkidding.这是我最棒的一次头脑风暴Thisisoneofmygreatestbrainstormsever.社区花♥园♥位于大坑的正中♥央♥Acommunitygarden,rightinthemiddleofthepit.我们鼓励民众来种植自己想种的植物We'reencouragingpeopletojustcomeoutandplantwhatevertheywant.Tom和我有时会早起来帮忙AndTomandIsometimesgethereearlyandhelpout.太热了我得再来点冰茶It,ssohot.Ihadtogetsomemoreicedtea.人们真的喜欢这个地方种了很多好东西Peoplehavejustreallyembracedthisandplantedthecooleststuff.Tom是我们的顶级园艺师AndTomisourmasterhorticulturist.他知道所有东西的科学名字对吧TomHeknowsallthescientificnamesforeverything.Right,Tom?是的比如这个这是什么TomYeah.-Likethis.What,sthis,Tom?这些当然是番茄或者SouljaBoyTell,EmsThoseare,ofcourse,tomatoes,orSouljaBoyTell,Ems.每次Leslie问我这些植物的拉丁文名字WheneverLeslieasksmefortheLatinnamesofanyofourplants,我就还给她一个说唱歌♥手的名字Ijustgiveherthenamesofrappers.那边的那些呢Andthoseoverthere?那些是DiddiesThosearesomeDiddies.这边有些BoneThugs-n-Harmony-umsThosearesomeBoneThugs-n-Harmony-umsrighthere.长势喜人Growingbeautifully.这些LUdaCriSeS很茂盛啊ThoseLudacrisesarecomingingreat.看有人种新东西了这是什么1.ook,someoneplantedsomethingnew.What'sthis?你觉得呢胡萝卜吗Whatdoyouthink,carrots?如果是的话我们花♥园♥要处理杂草了Ifthat'strue,wehaveagardenpestonourhands.或者是某种香料Maybesomekindofspice?是哦Leslie知道是啥香料的最佳方式Yeah.Youknow,Leslie,thebestwaytofigureoutwhatkindofspicethatis,就是卷起来抽一下justrollitupintoajointandsmokeit.公园与游憩公园与游憩公园与游憩第2季第2集第2季第2集Ron收到我的短♥信♥了吗Ron,didyougetmytexts?没No.收到我的email了吗-没Didyougetmyemails?-Mmm-mm看到我呼叫你了吗-没看到DidyouseethatIpagedyou?-1didnot.检查你的语♥音♥消息了吗-没检查Didyoucheckyourvoicemail?-1didn't.我们手上有个紧急犯罪要处理Wehaveacriminalemergencyonourhands.有人在社区花♥园♥里种下了诱导性毒品Someoneplantedagatewaydruginthecommunitygarden.好报♥警♥Okay.Callthecops.那会泄露给媒体接着会有调查That'llleaktothepress.Thenthere'llbeaninvestigation,他们会在肥料上找到我的指纹andthey'llfindmyfingerprintsonthemanure,我们就会失去资金支持andthenwe'llloseourfunding.你没有资金支持Youdon'thavefunding.我们就不会有了如果这传出去的话AndWeneverwillifthisgetsout.好的我会报♥警♥1.ook,Iwillcallthecops,但给我一天时间先内部解决行吗butjustgivemeonedaytodealwiththisinternally,okay?当然.谢谢你Sure.-Thankyou.挺好如果这事搞大了Andlisten,ifthisthingblowsup,我没来过Iwasneverhere.我岔气了Ihaveahernia.有一阵子了vehaditforawhile.我一直没管它Andvebeenignoringit,一直没问题successfully.但今早Butthismorning,我犯了个错误打了喷嚏Imadethemistakeofsneezing.但只要我坐好不动我的头ButaslongasIsitstillanddon'tmovemyhead,或者躯干ortorso,没事我能搞定mgood,Igotthis.我们需要找出谁在作对Weneedtofindoutwhowe'redealingwith.这个人是谁这个幕后主使Whoisthisperson?Whoisthiskingpin?是个13岁男孩叫Stevie喜欢吸毒It,sa13-year-oldkidnamedStevie,wholikestogethigh,然后把变形金刚摆成IE在做♥爱♥的样子andmakehisTransformerslooklikethey'rehavingsextogether.我希望有天能当上总统IwouldliketobePresidentsomeday,所以不我没抽过大♥麻♥so,no,Ihavenotsmokedmarijuana.我吃过一个大♥麻♥蛋糕在大学里感觉很激烈Iateabrownieonce.Atapartyincollege.Itwasintense.简直无法描述我感觉都要飘起来了Itwaskindofindescribable,actually.IfeltlikeIwasfloating.但那个大♥麻♥蛋糕里并没有大♥麻♥Turnsouttherewasn'tanypotinthebrownie.只是个异常好吃的蛋糕Itwasjustaninsanelygoodbrownie.你知道如果我们抓住他就能避免丑闻Youknow,ifwecatchhim,thenweavoidascandal.因为我们可以改变头条不是'Causewefliptheheadline,andit,snot,社区花♥园♥被大♥麻♥污染“"CommunityGardenInfestedWithPot."而是"勇敢的人♥民♥公仆避免社区涉毒Ifs"BravePublicServantsRidNeighborhoodofDrugs,”得到市长表扬逗号♥以及所有人“"EarnPraisefromMayor,comma,Everyone."我们得抓到这个人把面包车开出来7点见Wegottocatchthisguy.Getthevan,meetmeat7:00.监视时间到It,sstakeouttime.AprilApril?咋帮我搞定午餐Yeah?-Getmylunchforme,please.好给你点什么吗Okay.Like,orderyousomething?不拿过来从那No,getit.Fromthere.这是什么奇怪的权利游戏吗Isthissomekindofweirdpowertrip?拜托Please.谢谢没事了Thankyou.That'llbeall.不客气You,rewelcome.我带了监视物资Ihavestakeoutsupplies.这些是我们可能需要的东西Thisisstuffthatwe,reprobablygoingtoneed.我们有笔记本铅笔和铅笔盒Wehavenotepads,pencilsandpencilcase.摇动生奶油相机杂粮包Shakablewhippedcream.Cameras.Gorp.还有糖果项链Andcandynecklaces.好像我们是真警♥察♥一样It,slikewe'rerealpolice.我还做了张混音CDAndImadeusamixCD.装满r人盯人的歌♥It'sallfilledwithsongsaboutpeoplewatchingpeople.大部分是Sting看我把我俩的脸印在上面了It,smostlySting.Andlook,Iputourfacesonthere.挺酷的It,sreallycool.你就穿这件衬衫吗Areyougoingtowearthatshirt?是啊你喜欢吗Yeah.Youlikeit?TommyHiIfiger时装吗TommyHilfiger?不是TomHaverford我花了120刀印上这两个字母啊No.TomHaverfbrd.Ispent120buckstogetitmonogrammed.给你-所有人都觉得是TommyHilflgerHereyougo.-Everyonethinksit'sTommyHilfiger.给你得穿件这种衣服Well,here.Youshouldbewearingsomethinglikethis.拿着Takethis.穿黑色黑色就是监视时穿的颜色Wearblack.Blackiswhatyouwearonastakeout.好的我得看看这个相机怎么用让我专心研究一下Okay,Ihavetofigureouthowthisworks.Justletmefocusuponthis.居然合身真烦人Prettybummedthisfits.好的我现在只要拍张测试照片看看如何Okay,nowIneedtojusttakeatestshotandseehowthisgoes.测试照片准备好了吗镜头对着大坑好了Testshot.Youready?Justfocusuponthepit.Allright.别-镜头对着Stop.-Focusuprightwherethe.别-镜头对着大♥麻♥的位置Stop.-Focusuprightwheretheweedis.别别Stop.Stop.1.eslie发誓说没事所以我要和Mark约会了1.eslieswearsit'sokay.SomgoingoutwithMark.我需要重返情场Igottogetbackoutthere.Andy以前跟我去看电影的时候WhenAndyandIusedtogotothemovies,他总是猜电影结局hewouldalwaystrytoguesstheendingofthemovie.他总会猜Andhewouldalwaysguess主角全程都是死的thatthemaincharacterhadbeendeadthewholetime.即使我们看的是料理鼠王EvenwhenwesawRatatouille.哦看是MarkOh,look.ItsMark.你在干什么-什么Whatareyoudoing?-What?我只是在保证镜头没问题好的行mjustcheckingtomakesurethislensworks.Good.Yeah.你好啊Ann-你好Hey,Ann.-Hey.所以准备出发了吗So,youreadytogo?哦不我还需要一个小时Oh,no.Ineedanotherhourtogetready.真的吗我记得电影应该Seriously?'CauseIthinkthemoviestartsinlike.哦你在开玩笑啊Oh,you'rejokingaroundrightnow.哇这肯定很好玩了Wow.Thisisgoingtobefun.是啊你知道有我这样的身体Yeah,well,youknow,withabodylikethis,不会同时有脑子的youdon,tgetthebrains,too.恶心好盘Ew!-Silly.哇他俩约上了啊Brandanawicz是个男人啊Whoa!Aretheydatingnow?Brendanawiczistheman.这就是Brandanawicz的生活ThisisBrendanawicz1Slife.报社的辣妹邮局的辣妹Hotchickfromthenewspaper,hotchickfromthepostoffice,医院的辣妹hotchickfromthehospital.她叫Ann你知道她的名字她叫AnnHername'sAnn.Youknowhername.Hername'sAnn.我只是说没人能拒绝他mjustsaying.Nobodyturnshimdown.我拒绝过Idid.对哦-是的我拒绝过Yeah.-Yeah,Idid.我们喝醉了他准备亲我我说Weweredrunk,andhetriedtokissme,andIsaid,不行先生MarkBrandanawicz我不需要你的殷勤"No,sir,MarkBrendanawicz.Idon'tneedyourbusinesshere."趴下Getdown.加班？Workinglate?对Yeah.铲子吉他铲子吉他Shovelguitar,shovelguitar有个人想要弹铲子吉他Somebodywantstoplayshovelguitar1.eslie弹了铲子吉他快一个小时不止1.eslie'sbeenplayingshovelguitarforaboutanhournow.Longer.桶鼓桶鼓Bucketdrum,bucketdrum你不是本地人对吧You'renotfromhere,right?不我来自南卡罗来纳州No.mfromSouthCarolina.但你是从哪搬到南卡罗来纳的ButyoumovedtoSouthCarolinafromwhere?我妈的子♥宫♥Mymother'suterus.但你是在利比亚怀上的对吧ButyouwereconceivedinLibya,right?哇不我是在美国怀上的我父母是印度人Wow.No.IwasconceivedinAmerica.MyparentsareIndian.那"HaverforcT这个姓是从哪来的Wheredidthename'Haverford1comefrom?我出生的名字是DarWiShSabirIsmaelGaniMybirthnameisDarwishSabirIsmaelGani,但我换成了TomHaverford因为你知道andIchangedittoTomHaverfordbecause,youknow,棕色皮肤加上好笑的穆&hearts撕&hearts淋♥名字brownguyswithfunny-soundingMuslimnames在政坛不会有啥出息don'tmakeitreallyfarinpolitics.那BarackObama呢WhataboutBarackObama?哦彳亍好BarackObamaOkay,yeah,fine,BarackObama.如果我知道名字叫BarackObamaIfIknewadudenamedBarackObama都能当选总统wasgoingtobeelectedPresident,是我可能就不会改名了yeah,maybeIwouldn'thavechangedit.哦你听到那个响声了吗Oh,didyouhearthatnoise?哦天啊是幕后主使Oh,myGod.It'sthekingpin!记下来Writethisdown.行白人男性浅棕色头发Okay,whitemale,lightbrownhair.拍照就行了Justtakepictures.哦我的天看上去是AndyOh,myGod,itlookslikeAndy.那就是AndyThatisAndy.那就是AndyAndy是幕后主使ThatisAndy.Andyisthekingpin.Andy过来Andy.Comehere.哦你们好你们在这干嘛见到你们真好Oh,hey,youguys.Whatareyoudoinghere?It'ssogoodtoseeyou.安静Quietly.怎么了Whathappened?你现在住在坑里吗You,relivinginthepitnow?现在是啊Fornow,yeah.太棒了有人在下面种了一整个花♥园♥It,sawesome.Somebodyjustplantedagardendownthere.水果蔬菜都有我补了很多♥维♥生素Fruitsandvegetables,somgettingalotofvitamins.但那是我们的社区花♥园♥Butthat,sourcommunitygarden.是啊然后有人在番茄旁边种了一大♥片&hearts汰♥麻♥Yeah,andsomeoneplantedawholemessofweednexttothetomatoes.哦别看我啊底下有大♥麻♥Oh,don,tlookatme.There,sweeddownthere?我以为那是胡萝卜缨呢Ithoughtthatwasthetopsofcarrots.是吧我也觉得听着我们在监视行吧Right,Iknow.Me,too.Listen,we,reonastakeout,okay?所以要不你也来车上帮我们Sowhydon'tyoucometothevanandhelpus?我们想抓到那个人We'retryingtocatchtheguy.所以要不告诉我们你看到了什么Andmaybeyoucouldtelluswhatyou'veseen.我应该是跟一个疯了一打一场石头仗Iwassupposedtohavearockfightwiththiscrazyguy.他迟到了20分钟He'slike20minuteslate.行吧我帮忙好AllrightLet'sdoit.-Okay.你住在这吗Doyoulivehere?April吗April?是我你住在这吗Yeah.Doyoulivehere?不No.抓住Catch.对哦我就知道Yeah,Ithoughtso.我回家了但有种奇怪的感觉Iwenthome,butIhadthisstrangefeeling你出了点什么事thattherewassomethingwrongwithyou,所以我回来了soIcameback.就是个小小的医疗问题It,sjustaminormedicalissue.艾滋吗AIDS?不是我很安全No.msafe.你瞎了吗Blindness?没No.是寄生虫病毒还是从蜜蜂传染的什么Isitlikeaparasiteoravirusorsomethingyougetfromabee?我岔气了Ihaveahernia.你有梅毒吗Doyouhavesyphilis?我说了是岔气Isaidit'sahernia.我知道Iknow.可能两者皆有It'spossibletohavetwothings.需要我送你去医院吗Doyouneedaridetothehospital?要拜托Yes,please.好Okay.但我是骑车来的所以我需要回家开出我爸的旅行车ButIrodemybikehere,soIhavetogohomeandgetmydad'sstationwagon.I射谢Thankyou.再见Bye.你还在吗Areyoustillhere?在我就是想知道你能不能分辨出来Yeah.Ijustwantedtoseeifyoucouldtell.你还在吗Areyoustillhere?能有个人聊真是好啊天啊Itisreallygreattohavesomebodytotalkto.Man,oh,man.所以Ann怎么样她还好吗Sohow'sAnn?She'sdoinggood?哦我太想她了太可笑了她怎么样Oh,Imisshersomuch,it'sridiculous.How'sshedoing?她还好她出去Doinggoodtonight.She,soutona.Ann很好Annisgreat.我觉得她也很想你AndIbetshereallymissesyou.我要是晚上不睡的话还需要这个mgoingtoneedmoreoftheseifmgoingtostayuptonight.那是犍吗-是项链Isthatcandy?-Yeah,it,sanecklace,用糖做成的来一条吗madeoutofcandy.Youwantone?哦好啊Oh,allright.太好了我最近只吃水果蔬菜已经几个星期了嗯Great.Allvehadisfruitsandvegetables,forweeksnow.Hmm.哦我的天Oh,myGod!你知道里面有根绳了的吧Youknow,there'sastringinthere.这根里没有Notinthisone.马上甜翻了甜翻了Instantsugarhigh!Sugarhigh!甜到翻甜翻了翻哦Sugarhithigh!Sugarhigh!High!Oh!你还好吗Areyouokay?甜到爆♥炸♥Sugarslam!我们该带你去吃点实在的东西Maybeweshouldgetyousomethingmoresubstantialtoeat好我去Mmm-hmm.min.给我带两个芝士汉堡和一杯绿茶Hey,bringmebacktwocheeseburgersandagreentea.哦不是吧别开玩笑啊Oh,comeon.Yougottobekiddingme.还挺开心的So,thatwasfun.是的确实是Yeah.Itreallywas.预料之外的开心Surprisinglyfun.你知道吗我觉得今晚已经足够绅士了Youknowwhat?Ihavebeenaperfectgentlemanthisevening.实际上看着Infact,watchthis.我想让你请我进去喝一杯Iwouldlikeyoutonowpleaseinvitemeinforanightcap.想都别想不不不只是Notachance.-No,no,no.Just.看看我会怎么做Watchwhatmgoingtodo.哦行啊-请我进去喝点Oh,okay.-Justaskmeinforanightcap.你要进去喝点吗Willyoucomeinforanightcap?是的我要Yes,Iwill.不不该死妈的我本来准备不No,no!Damn!Drat!Iwasgoingtoplantonot.等等等等-准备说不的Wait,wait,wait.-Tosayno.看那个家伙准备偷车1.ook,thatguy'stryingtobreakintothatvan.看起来确实像是在偷车Youknowwhat,itdoeslooklikehe,sbreakingintothatvan.911你好911.-Hi,there.所以Andy你是在坑里监视Ann吗So,Andy,doyou,like,spyonAnnfromthepit?不不我只是想呆在附近No.No.Ijustlikebeingnearby.这样如果她想复合Thatway,ifshewantsmeback,我能在两秒钟内到她家Icanbeatherhouse,like,intwoseconds,在她改变主意之前beforeshechangeshermind.我真不觉得那样很健康Idon'treallyknowhowhealthythatis.我是说你们都已经没约会了Imean,youguysaren,tevendatinganymore.她可能已经和其他人约会了Shemightbedatingsomebodyelse.她有吗-什么Isshe?-What?她在和其他人约会吗-哈什么Isshedatingsomebodyelse?-Huh?What?你刚刚说Ann可能在和其他人约会YoujustsaidAnnmightbedatingsomebodyelse.真的么我没那么说Isshe?-1didn'tsaythat.她跟谁约会呢-没有人MarkWhoisshedating?-Nobody.Mark.好吧That'scool.我的天啊Oh,myGod!6♥4♥1呼叫总部我已接近车辆6♥4♥1tobase,matthevehiclenow.您今晚怎么样先生Howyoudoingtonight,sir?我还好长官你还好吗mallright,Officer.Howareyou?我接到一通报♥警♥电♥话♥mrespondingtoa9-1-1call说有可疑人物在这里偷车aboutasuspiciouspersonbreakingintoavan.我需要你出来展示证件IneedyoutostepoutandshowmesomeID.不没关系我叫TomHaverfordNo,it'sokay.MynameisTomHaverfbrd.我是公园部的工作人员IworkfortheParksDepartment.我刚刚被锁在车外了Ijustgotlockedoutofthevan.我只能撬车自己进来了Ihadtojimmymywaybackin.那你还是撬出来给我看看证件吧Well,whydon'tyoujimmyyourwayoutandshowmesomeID.我刚刚告诉你我的身份了何罪之有Well,IjusttoldyoumyID.So,what'sthecrimehere?印度裔不让停车吗ParkingwhileIndian?不没有关于印度人坐在车里的刻板印象No,there'snostereotypesaboutIndianssittinginvehicles.好吧行这是我的证件Allright,fine.Here,smyID.干得好啊百货战警Nicejob,PaulBlart.你为啥不回你的百货大楼Whydon'tyouheadbacktothemall,保证没人去女鞋店偷东西呢makesurenobody'sbreakingintoLadyFootLocker?嘿我差一点就因为妨碍治安将你逮捕了Hey.mverycloserightnowtoplacingyouunderarrestfordisorderlyconduct.从车里出来Stepoutofthevan.我从你妈妈的车里出来llstepoutofyourmama'svan.我什久都没做我是市政♥府♥职员啊Leslie救我Ididn'tdoanything!macityemployee,man!Comeon!Leslie!动作传感器Motionsensors.哦天哪Oh,myGod.等等请问你在干什么Excuseme!Whatareyoudoing?那个车里的人怎么样rWhathappenedtotheguythatwasinthatvan?警♥察♥抓走了Copstookhim.什么哦天哪What?Oh,myGod!Ann和Mark!-Andy!AnnandMark!-Andy!是Ann和Mark!-Andy?It'sAnnandMark!-Andy?1.eslie?-哦1.eslie?-Oh!1.eslieKnope.-嘿1.eslieKnope.-Hey!嘿-哇Hey!-Wow.我们抓到个罪犯你知道这件事吗Wecaughtacriminal.Doyouknowaboutthis?是啊他准备破车而入他们把他抓走了Yeah,hewasbreakingintothisvanandtheydraggedhimaway.太疯狂了Itwascrazy.就在这Righthere.你在这干什么Whatareyoudoinghere?如果你可以停下记录的笔就一秒钟Ifyoucouldjuststopwritingforasecond,关注下这里因为andjustfocushere,because.女士女士我已经告诉过你几次了Ma'am,ma'am,asvetoldyouseveraltimesalready,这是警方事务thisisapolicematter.看起来更像是警方的失误Well,itdoesn'tseemtomattertothepolice!好吧干得漂亮但我们Okay.Nicejobwiththat.Butlet's.我来问你个问题1.etmeaskyouaquestion.Pawnee警局的规定里IsitthepolicyofthePawneePoliceDepartment会逮捕试着进入自己车子的人吗toarrestpeoplewhentheytrytogetintotheirownvan?不会幸好事情不是那样的No.Andthankfully,that'snotwhathappened.请你回家睡一觉Now,couldyoupleasegohome,andgetsomesleep,让我们来解决这个事情andletthismatterberesolved.谢谢警官我们回家吧LeslieThankyou,Officer.Let'sjustgohome,Leslie.是的我们回家我们回家Yeah,let'sgohome.-Let'sjustgohome.不不我们回家就好No!No!-Let,sjustgohome.不悠着点No!-Easy!不不不不不不-LeslieNo.No,no,no,no,no!-Leslie.好吧跟我来Okay,comewithme,please.好啊我就跟你来Fine.dliketocomewithyou.你的朋友表现得像个混♥蛋♥Yourfriend,heactedlikeanass.请你相信我他没给我选择Andyougottobelieveme,hedidn'tgivemeachoice.你叫Dave对吧我可以叫你Dave吗Yourname'sDave,right?