Parks and Recreation《公园与游憩（2009）》第七季第五集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

打败Gryzzl的方法别想了不可能的ForgetitIt'simpossible.一百万年都行不通的没意义的我放弃了lt,snotgonnaworkinamillionyears.It'spointless.Igiveup.态度不错啊亲爱的Goodattitude,honey.嗯你知道你想要我怎么做呢Well,youknow,whatdoyouwantfromme?我试着让一群人把他们的土地送给我mtryingtogetagroupofpeopletogivemetheirland,而不是以九千万美元的价格卖♥♥给GryzzlratherthansellittoGryzzlfor$90million.现在我基本的论据就是Rightnow,mybasicargumentis,”拜托把地给我们啊会很好的”"Please,giveustheland.Itwouldbesonice."Gryzzl有上十亿美元我没办法打败他们的Gryzzlhasbillionsofdollars.There,snowayIbeatthem.嘿我见你打赢过更难的仗啊Hey,veseenyoubeattougheroddsthanthis.但他们只是个公♥司♥他们没那么有能力Butthey'rejustacompany,they'renotthatpowerful.哇“开门”吗Whoa!"Openyourdoor"?啊天啊Ben我们要死了Ah!Oh,myGod,Ben!We'reabouttodie.老天啊-哦我的Goodlord!-Oh,my机器人打上门来了Therobotshavecomeforus.你说会发生的时候我开你玩笑但你的小说要成真了Imadefunofyouwhenyousaiditwouldhappenbutyournovelhascometrue.嘿LeslieKnopeHey,LeslieKnope!请享用这份免费礼物吧由Gryzzl赠送Pleaseenjoythisfreegift,courtesyofGryzzl.好吧所以他们还有一整个Okay,sotheyalsohaveasquadron机器人飞行编队给所有人送礼物offlyingrobotsgivingpresentstoeveryone.回见我们完蛋了1.ater!-We'rescrewed.公园与游憩公园与游憩第7季第5集第7季第5集我们正在研究的新菜告诉我你的想法Newdishwe'reworkingon.Tellmewhatyouthink.这是一份红与白祖传红豆意面It,saredandwhiteheirloomredbeanpasta,加上进口托斯卡纳核桃香草酱withanimportedTuscanwalnutherbsauce,注入了历史遗产的绵羊奶酪infusedwithshavedheritagePecorinoRomano.啥你已经吃完了嗯What?You,redone?-Mmm.真的好你们为啥要发明新菜啊Reallygood.Whyareyoudoingnewdishes?1.ucy在芝加哥见她的男友Conrad1.ucyisvisitingherboyfriendConradinChicago,所以我就试着用工作分心somjusttryingtodistractmyselfwithwork所以不会想到他们可能的马拉松床上狂欢了soIdon'tthinkaboutthemarathonboneseshthey'reprobablyhaving.嘿你猜怎么着哥们你得从他们身上分心看看这个Hey,youknowwhat,dude?Yougottatakeyourmindoffofthem.Checkthisout.是份合同It,sacontract.它来自我做那个JohnnyKarate节目的电视台经理ItcamefromthestationmanagerwhereIdomyshow,JohnnyKarate.他想让我签字但这上面说他们会拥有JohnnyKarate这个角色Hewantsmetosignit,butissaysthatthey'llownthecharacter,"JohnnyKarate."而我想拥有JohnnyKarate这个角色因为那是我AndIwanttoownthecharacterJohnnyKarate,'causeit'sme.等等这上面说他们一周只给你付一百块吗Wait,thissaystheyonlypayyouahundredbucksaweek?是啊但我做的只是整天晃荡啊Yeah,butallIreallydoisgoofaroundallday.编写制♥作♥和导演一部电视节目Write,produce,anddirectaTVshow.此外我还主演而且我做布景道具服装Plus,Iactinit,andIdosets,props,wardrobe.最后我开车送所有人回家所以我觉得Attheend,Idriveeverybodyhome,soImean,一周一百块-挺公平的了ahundredbucksaweek-that'sprettyfair.这也太完美了我会当你的代理人Thisisperfect.llbeyouragent!我把所有精力都用在跟你重新谈判合同上llputallmyenergyintorenegotiatingyourcontract.我甚至不会想Lucy和ConradIwon'teventhinkaboutLucyandConrad还有他可能会做的愚蠢的仰卧起坐andhisstupidcrunchesthatheprobablydoes.我可能应该做几个仰卧起坐了Ishouldprobablydosomecrunches.开始吧1.et'sgo!嗷Andy我的肚肚0w!Andy,myturnturn!Knope我需要跟你聊聊-怎么了Knope,Ineedtotalktoyou.-What'sup?我知道我实际上是给Gryzzl打工的但这些蠢货已经越界了IknowItechnicallyworkforGryzzl,butthesefoolshavecrossedaline.你们收到这些Gryzzl盒子了吗HaveyougottenoneoftheseGryzzlBoxes?嗯是啊但我还没打开Well,yeah,butIhaven,topenedityet.打算送回去在我写一封严厉措辞表示不能被免费礼物收买♥♥的信之后PlanningonsendingitbackafterIwroteasternly-wordedletterabouthowIcannotbeboughtwithfreegifts.这些是我的免费礼物Thesearemyfreegifts.两只蜂蜜熊.Twohoneybears.还有一罐甜李子andacanisterofsugarplums.“蜂蜜熊"和“甜李子”是Joe和我彼此称呼的特殊名字"Honeybear"and"SugarPlum"arethespecialnamesJoeandIcalleachother.喔Aww.是啊我们很可爱但这有点怪异了Yeah,we,readorable,butthisiscreepy.因为我们只在电♥话♥或者短♥信♥里彼此这么叫Becauseweonlycalleachotherthesethingsonthephoneorintexts.他们是怎么知道的呢Howdotheyevenknow?1.eslie打开那个他们送给你的盒子1.eslie,openthatboxtheysentyou.哦乔拜登的书拜登轨道：Ooh!JoeBiden,sbook,"BidentheRails:100l首我在美铁东北走廊启发而作的诗歌♥1001PoemsInspiredbyMyTravelsThroughAmtrak'sNortheastCorridor."一千首吗Athousand?张最高法♥院♥法官啜饮老友记奶昔的海报AposteroftheSupremeCourtJusticessippingtheFriendsmilkshake!这玩意儿对我太完美了Thisstuffisperfectforme.是啊IE是他们肯定做了数据挖掘Yeah,exactly.Theymustbedata-mining.在我们的短♥信♥和邮件里搜索收集我们所有人的资料Searchingourtextsandemailsandgatheringprofilesonallofus.这可是严重的隐私侵犯更不用说是违法的了Thisisahugeinvasionofprivacy,nottomentionillegal.当他们在镇上装免费WiFi的时候WhentheyinstalledtheirfreeWi-Fiintown,我确认了有条文避免这种事情的Imadesurethattherewaslanguagepreventingthis.我永远不会同意跟他们合作Ineverwouldhaveagreedtoworkwiththem如果我知道他们会窥视我的东西ifIhadknowntheyweregonnabesnoopinginmybiz.Gryzzl要完蛋了你们想让我爆♥炸♥吗Gryzzlisgoingdown.Youwannaputmeonblast?我会把你们放上前街的maputyouonFrontStreet.疑似Gorillaz/MFDOOM-(NovemberHasCome歌♥词我不理解那是什么意思Idon'tunderstandwhatthatmeans,但我觉得我懂上下文了我爱死了butIthinkIgetthecontext,andIloveit.April公园部新实习今天开始April,thenewParksinternsstarttoday,而我在想你能不能发表欢迎演讲and1waswonderingifyouwoulddeliveralittlewelcomespeech.不行走开No,goaway.西瓜马丁尼裸♥露♥砖墙KeriRussell的头发Watermelonmartinis,exposedbrick,KeriRussell'shair.你为啥刚说了这些奇怪的东西啊Whydidyoujustsaythoseweirdthings?在我的咨♥询♥师RichardNygard的建议下Ontheadviceofmytherapist,Dr.RichardNygard,只要想大喊的时候我就深呼吸wheneverIfeellikeyelling,Ijusttakeadeepbreath然后说三件活着的好事andsaythreegreatthingsaboutbeingalive.恶心请跟我的实习生们聊聊Gross.-Pleasetalktomyinterns.好吧无所谓了我做Fine.Whatever,lldoit我20岁的时候从这里开始的而现在我又老又恶心又没方向IstartedherewhenIwas20,andnowmoldandgrossanddirectionless.那些孩子们是十年前的我Thosekidsaremetenyearsago,而这个实习机会就是午夜凶铃里的录像带andthisinternshipisthevideotapefromTheRing.对我来说太晚了我已经见到太多了It,stoolateforme.veseentoomuch.但可能我能拯救他们ButmaybeIcansavethem.你们都会死在这儿的You'reallgonnadieinhere!大家好我们今天在此是讨论GryzzlHello,everyone.WeareheretodaytodiscussGryzzll以及他们是不是侵犯了我们的隐私andwhetherornottheyareinvadingourprivacy.他们给我丈夫寄了三盒生殖器霜到他办公室Theysentmyhusbandthreeboxesofgenitalcreamtohisoffice.我丈夫有斑点的生殖器和任何人无关Myhusband'ssplotchygenitalsarenoone'sbusiness,除了他我以及他的很多位生殖器医生exceptforhis,mine,andhismanygenitaldoctors.他们给我送了一堆穿得像影星的玩具猪Theysentmeabunchoftoypigsdressedlikemoviestars.那是我的私人爱好That'smyprivatehobby.没人知道我收集像影星的玩具猪NooneknowsIcollecttoypigsdressedlikemoviestars,除了现在的你们所有人exceptnowallofyoupeople.那只是谁呢Whichoneisthat?这实际上是塞缪耳"L杰克逊ThisisactuallyHam-uelL.Jackson塞缪尔L杰克逊在电影低“猪”小说里的形象它非常的罕见我会留着的fromthemovie,PorkFiction,it'sextremelyrare,andIamkeepingit.低俗小说但还是他们没有权利给我让我一生珍藏的东西Butstill,theynorighttogivemesomethingIwilltreasuretherestofmylife.我在我所有朋友面前打开了我的盒子Iopenedmyboxinfrontofallofmyfriends,里面是一堆佛吉尼亚伍尔芙的小说anditwasabunchOfVirginiaWoolfnovels.现在Miley和Haley知道我喜欢看书了NowMileyandHaleyknowIliketoread.要是她们告诉Evan怎么办WhatiftheytellEvan?我喜欢他们的手♥机♥Iliketheirphones,但他们把这些东西送上我们家已经太过分了butthey'vegonetoofarsendingthisstufftoourhouses.Gryzzl没有权利搜索我们的隐私数据Gryzzlhasnorighttosearchourprivatedata.所以等等Sowait,你们在这事上不反对我们吗youguysarenotagainstusonthis?我们在这事上不反对你们We'renotagainstyouonthis.我们在这事上不反对你们We'renotagainstyouonthis.我们在这事上不反对你们We'renotagainstyouonthis.终于在搜寻打败Gryzzl方式的几个月之后Finally,aftermonthsofsearchingforawaytodefeatGryzzl,我们找到它的阿喀琉斯之踵了WehavefounditsAchilles'heel.这个镇支持我们Donna在我们这一边Thetownisbehindus,Donnaisonourside,而下一片落下的多米诺骨牌呢andthenextdominotofall?RonSwansonRonSwanson.实际上这是汤姆塞立哼但是你知道挺接近了Actually,thisisTomSell-oink,but,youknow,closeenough.汤姆塞立克实际上我还得拿回去-哦是当然Actually,mgonnaneedthatback.-Oh,yes,ofcourse.2016年2月-我觉得你们会真的很喜欢这个月的相册呢February20161thinkyou'regonnareallyenjoythismonth'sphotoalbum.它包含的热门包括”第一次看牙医”Itincludessuchhitsas:nFirstTriptotheDentist/'"Sonia试吃披萨“以及“水上公园呕吐链式反应”"SoniaTriesPizza/'and"WaterparkVomitChainReaction."你为什么要给那种事拍照啊Whywouldyoutakepicturesofthat?为什么不呢-在你要求下Whywouldyounot?-Asyourequested,这是一张我儿子最近生活中的照片here,sapictureofmysonatarecentmomentinhislife.太可爱-Socute-你干什么呢-保护我儿子的隐私Whatareyoudoing?-Protectingmyson'sprivacy.怎么我就要带着我孩子的照片到处逛What,mjustgonnacarryaroundpicturesofmychild让所有人都能看见吗whereanyonecouldseethem?嗯挺有意思你提到了隐私因为那就是我们的下一个话题Well,it'sfunnyyoushouldmentionprivacybecausethat'sournexttopic.Ron基本上是为Gryzzl工作的RontechnicallyworksforGryzzl.而当他发现Gryzzl在干什么的时候AndwhenhefindsoutwhatGryzzlisdoing,他肯定会疯掉的heisgoingtolose.His.Mind.我对此没有回应-什么Ihavenoreactiontothis.-What?我不对私人企业的工作发表任何意见1donotpassjudgmentontheworkingsofprivatebusinesses.我只是给他们盖楼Ijustbuildtheirbuildings.而且实话说如果人们蠢到Andfrankly,ifpeoplearefoolishenough带着一个让Gryzzl跟踪他们每一步的小玩意儿toCarryaroundadoodadthatletsGryzzItracktheireverymove,这就是他们的卜场-但这是违法的啊thisiswhattheyget.-Butit'sillegal.我相信不是那样的Idon'tbelievethat'strue.我和Gryzzl的高价律师已经共处足够长的时间I'vespentafairamountoftimewithGryzzshigh-pricedlawyers,而他们看起来如他们所说“保持100分”andtheydoseemto,astheysay,'keepit100."嗯那些傻子们觉得我还为他们工作呢Well,thosefoolsstillthinkIworkforthem.所以我能给你们安排VIP参观他们的大楼SoIcangetyouaprivateVIPtourofthebuilding.或许你们可以巡视一下Maybeyoucansnooparound.嘿兄弟们我是Roscoe很激动能带你们逛Heythere,homies,mRoscoe.Psychedtogiveyouguysatour.是的你好我是DarleneJohannsenYes,hello,mDarleneJohannsen,这是我的助手变成的爱人GregoryStrongandthisismyassistant-turned-lover,GregoryStrong.我们是一场新恋情但在我的建筑公♥司♥掀起了惊涛骇浪Oursisanewromance,butonethatsentshockwavesthroughmyarchitecturefirm.但感觉太对了-稳住Butitfeelssoright.-Steady.我们爱Gryzzl而我们很想看到它是怎么运转的WeloveGryzzl,andWewouldlovetoseehowitallworks.惬意哦我们疯起来吧Sweet.Let'sgetloco.好吧所以我们来熟悉一下Okay,so,let'sgettoknoweachother.讲讲你为什么来这里你是不是扔掉了自己的生活Talkaboutwhyyou'rehere,whetheryou,rethrowingyourlivesaway,之类的事情stufflikethat.呃你是什么让你来的Uh,you,whatbroughtyouhere?我爱公园部门啊IlovetheParksdepartment.我在Ramsett公园旁边长大曾经去那里的一大堆活动IgrewupnearRamsettParkandIusedtogototonsofstuffthere.好吧那帮不到我呃MorkOkay,thatdoesn'thelpme.Uh,Mork?哦是MikeOh,it'sMike.呃我爱公园比任何东西都爱Uh,Iloveparks,morethananything,而且我从13岁开始就是夏令营顾问了andvebeenasummercampcounselorsinceIwas13.呃恶心Ugh.Gross.你呢你为啥来Whataboutyou?Whyareyouhere?我唯一比公园更爱的是娱乐TheonlythingIlovemorethanparksisrecreation.真的吗-不我只是需要大学学分Really?-No,Ijustneededcollegecredit.你学的啥-啥都没大学好蠢Whatareyoustudying?-Nothing.Collegeisstupid.那是谁逼你来的,Thenwhomadeyoudothis.我父母-他们什公样Myparents.-Whataretheylike?嗯我妈是恶魔我爸是个蠢医生Well,mymom'sthedevilandmydad'sadumbdoctor.哦我爸也是医生哦-闭嘴Oh,mydad'sadoctor.-Shutup.Jen是吗-是啊Jenisit?-Yeah.我们走走Jen我感觉你几乎毫无潜力1.et'stakeawalk,Jen.Ifeellikeyouhavealmostzeropotential.我觉得那挺酷Ithinkthat'scool.然后开拍Andaction!我们又见面了讨厌狗狗的DanWemeetagain,Puppy-HatingDan.你偷走了我的吉他而且你把屁放进我的午饭里Youstolemyguitar.Andyouputfartsinmylunch.你这次真的做过分了狗狗军团攻击You'vereallydoneitthistime.PuppyArmy,attack!耶-什么别啊Yeah!-What?No!我讨厌狗狗我会承认所有事的Ihatepuppies.lladmittoeverything.你又赢了MacklinYouwinagain,Macklin.又一个谜题解开了Anothermysterysolved!我们马上回来带来更多的JohnnyKarateWe,llberightbackafterthiswithsomemoreJohnnyKarate.好了午饭时间各位我们30分钟后回来Okay,that'slunch,everyone.We'rebackin30minutes.干得漂亮兄弟你搞定了Greatjob,bud,youcrushedit!我爱当Andy的代理人IlovebeingAndy,sagent.他干完所有的活我只需要露个脸就能拿10%Hedoesallthework,andIget10%justforshowingup.就像是餐厅的大厨It,slikeachefatarestaurant,做所有的食物然后店主拿利润-makingallthefood,andthentheownergetsaprofit-那是我的另一份工作啊whichismyotherjob!天啊我真是把这事整明白了啊Man,Ireallygotthingsfiguredout.我们快点解决1.et'smakethisquick.Andy的节目在三个城市都得到了极高评价Andy'sshowgetshugeratingsinthreecities.他的GryzzlTube页面有数百万次的访问了HisGryzzlTubepagehasmillionsofviews.如果你不想让Andy去你在Snerling的对手电视台Ifyoudon'tAndywalkingovertoyourrivalstationinSnerling,我觉得你应该认真面对rIthinkyoushouldstarttakingthisseriously.好吧好我们就这么做Right.Okay,here'swhatwe'regonnado.我要升级停车位mgonnaupgradetheparkingspot.但我的儿子能扮演其中一个孩子忍♥者Butmysongetsaroleasoneofthekidninjas.好吧他会为此爱上我的而且会把我前妻整疯Allright?He'sgonnalovemeforit.It'sgonnadrivemyex-wifecrazy.到现在还不错呃用甜心先生的话来说-Sofar,sogood,but,uh,inthewordsofJerryMaguire-”人类的头八磅重”"Thehumanheadweighs8pounds.'1不”让我看到钱”No."Showmethemoney."Andy你知道你在这工作有多幸运吗Andy,doyouknowhowluckyyouaretoworkhere?我是制♥造♥王者的人makingmaker.PepWileyChuckWarschankSelenaGomez-都是我创造的PepWiley,ChuckWarschank,SelenaGomez-Imadethem.SelenaGomez是你发现的啊YoudiscoveredSelenaGomez?著名流行歌♥手不是那个SeIenaGomezDifferentSelenaGomez.你看我没有给你涨薪的钱Look,Idon'thavethemoneyforaraise.呃你确实有我看过利润报告了Uh,yeahyoudo.veseenprofitreports.这个节目发大财了Andy开始一周拿500Theshow'sabonanza.Andystartsmaking500aweek.现在开始Now.滚出我的办公室你们两个坐好-我不.Getthehelloutofmyoffice,bothofyou.-Sitdown.-1don,t.你看哥们这份实习哪也不会带你去的1.ook,dude,thisinternshipleadsnowhere.它只会搞砸你余下的人生It'lljustscrewuptherestofyourlife.你爱做什么呢-发短♥信♥Whatdoyoulovedoing?-Texting.你小时候想当什么呢Whatdidyouwanttobewhenyouwerelittle?一条把水手引诱至死的可怕美人鱼Ascarymermaidthatluressailorstotheirdeath.好吧顺便说我会提交文件来领养你作为我的孩子Okay,sidenote,mgonnafilepaperstoadoptyouasmychild,所以你稍微注意一下sokeepaneyeoutforthat.但更重要的是别参加这次实习Butmoreimportantly,don'tdothisinternship.去做点好玩的Godosomethingfun比如试着用意念控制鸟类或者liketryingtocontrolbirdswithyourmindor以迈克尔杰克逊的鬼的身份在网上发评论postinginternetcommentsasMichaelJackson,sghost.好吧或许你是对的Okay.Maybeyou'reright.*AJ.-I射了Thanks.嘿April我们完成了你给我们的这些Hey,April,wefinishedthosequestionnairesyougaveus关于实习希望和梦想的问卷aboutourhopesanddreamsfortheinternship.太好了谢了MikeGreat!Thanks,Mike!哦抱歉这栋楼很没劲Oh,msorrythisbuildingissolame.只要我们新的总部建成了那肯定会酷很多很多的Assoonaswegetournewheadquartersbuilt,it'sgonnabeway,way,tighter.来看MattyCheckit.Matty.好的这是GryzzlVibeOkay,thisisGryzzlVibe.是这个我们正在开♥发♥的监控你心情的新app跟他们讲讲It'sthisnewappthatwe'redevelopingthatmonitorsyourmood.Tellthemaboutit.你们知道你们手♥机♥上的摄像头是一直打开的Asyouknow,thecamerasonyourphonesarealwayson,不管你们是不是在使用whetheryou'reusingthemornot.等等真的吗msorry,theyare?这个app使用面部识别来跟踪你的表情Thisappusesfacialrecognitionsoftwaretotrackyourexpressions.它一直在看It'salwayswatching.嗯你们拿这个信息来做什么呢Well,whatdoyoudowiththisinformation?嗯如果摄像头感觉到你心情很坏Well,ifthecamerasensesthatyou'reinabadmood,那我们就可以地理匹配你到比如thenwecangeo-matchyouto,say,最近的一杯甜美外带咖thenearestcupofsweetpick-me-upjava.但如果你是好心情呢我们就可以地理推送你Butifyou'reinagoodmood,thenwecouldgeo-nudgeyou到比如一家挺美的咖啡店to,like,asweetcoffeeshop.你就能让好心情继续rYoucanjustkeepthegoodtimesrolling.所以实际上就是个咖啡销♥售♥appSoit'sreallyjustacoffeesalesapp.是啊-是啊Yeah.-Yeah.是啊我们和星巴克一起开♥发♥的是啊Yeah,we,redevelopingwithStarbucks.-Yeah.所以RoscoeGryzzl是怎么知道一个人想要的所有东西呢So,Roscoe,howdoesGryzzlknowallthethingsthatsomeonewants?你们是在Areyouguys.我不懂啊无所谓了数据挖掘吗Idon'tknow,whateverdata-mining?哦当了个然了神探狗狗Oh,hellsyeah,dog-man.我们超级棒的算法搜索你们所有的短♥信♥电♥话♥银行记录Oursuperradalgorithmsearchesallyourtexts,calls,banking,医疗记录之类之类之类学习你真正想要的东西medicalrecords,blah,blah,blah,tolearnwhatyoureallywant.你知道从零食到新书新电影Youknow,fromsnackstonewbooksandmovies到你们女士们何时需要搞到新棉条towhenyouladiesneedtoscoresomenew'pons.我是说我们可能比你自己更要了解你呢LeslieImean,wemightknowyoubetterthanyouknowyourseICLeslie.你是怎么知道是我的Howdidyouknowitwasme?哦有大概40种不同的方法吧Oh,there,sabout40differentways.我是说你们各种Gryzzl设备上的地理地图Imean,geo-mapsonyourdifferentGryzzldevices,还有当然你们进来的时候我们面部扫描了and,ofcourse,weface-scannedyouwhenyoucamein.真的高兴你在这里-好吧很好Reallygladyou'rehere.-Okay,good.就因为我们在为Newport土地竞争Just'causewe'recompetingfortheNewportland不代表我们不能做朋友doesn'tmeanthatwecan'tbefriends.是的那不是你们的口号♥吗No.-Isn'tthatyourmotto?”所有