专题06 读后续写速成：“五点爆破”法.docx

读后续写速成，五点爆破”法落点：浏览所给信息,确定大意主题重点：梳理已知段落,确定主要情节突破点：借助段落开头,确定续写内容亮点：刻画细节冲突,优美连表达基本点：做到首尾呼应,结构完整合理五步写作法流程示例阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。OneweekendinJuly,Janeandherhusband,Tom,haddriventhreehourstocampovernightbyalakeintheforest.Unfortunately,onthewayanunpleasantsubjectcameupandtheystartedtoquarrel.Bythetimetheyreachedthelake,JanewassoangrythatshesaidtoTom,'Tmgoingtofindabetterspotforustocamp”andwalkedaway.Withnopathtofollow,Janejustwalkedonforquitealongtime.Aftershehadclimbedtoahighplace,sheturnedaround,hopingtoseethelake.Tbhersurprise,shesawnothingbutforestand,farbeyond,asnowcappedmountaintop.Shesuddenlyrealizedthatshewaslost."Tom!"sheCried."Help!”Noreply.IfonlyshehadnotlefthermobilephoneinthatbagwithTom.Janekeptmoving,butthefarthershewalked,themoreconfusedshebecame.Asnightwasbeginningtofall,Janewassotiredthatshehadtostopforthenight.Lyingawakeinthedark,JanewantedverymuchtobewithTbmandherfamily.Shewantedtoholdhimandtellhimhowmuchshelovedhim.Janeroseatthebreakofday,hungryandthirsty.Shecouldhearwatertrickling（滴落）somewhereatadistance.Quicklyshefollowedthesoundtoastream.Tbhergreatjoy,shealsosawsomeberrybushes.Shedrankandateafewberries.Neverinherlifehadshetastedanythingbetter.Feelingstrongernow,Janebegantowalkalongthestreamandhopeitwouldleadhertothelake.Asshepickedherwaycarefullyalongthestream,Janeheardahelicopter.Isthatforme?Unfortunately,thetreesmadeitimpossibleforpeopletoseeherfromabove.Afewminuteslater,anotherhelicopterflewoverhead.Janetookoffheryellowblouse,thinkingthatsheshouldgotoanopenareaandflagthemiftheycamebackagain.Butnomorehelicopterscameanditwasdark.ItwasdaybreakwhenJanewokeup.STEPl落点：浏览所给信息,确定大意主题whoJane,TomwhatJanewaslostwhereInaforestwhenOneweekendinJulywhyAquarrelwithTom,herhusband文章大意Janewaslostintheforestforthreedaysandsurvivedintheend表达主题JanelearnedhowtocontrolemotionsanddealwithconflictsSTEP2重点：梳理已知段落,确定主要情节主要情节beginning.startedtoquarrel.waslostdevelopment.keptmoving.hadtostopforthenight.Roseatthebreakofday.Begantowalkalongthestreamandhope.Climax（高潮）heardahelicopterending待定STEP3突破点：借助段落开头,确定续写内容研读续写段落的开头语Para.1Butnomorehelicopterscameanditwasgettingdarkagain.（切入点）Jane是如何熬过这个夜晚的？1. HowdidJanefeelthen?2. HowdidJanestrugglethroughthenight?3. Didshefallasleepandwhatdidshethinkof?ItwasdaybreakwhenJanewokeup?Para.2（切入点）昨晚Jane没有被救，今天会发生什么？1. WasJanerescuedandwhorescuedJane?2. Howwassherescuedandhowdidshefeelthen?续写内容Para.1Jane是如何熬过那一夜晚的Para.2Jane是如何获救的STEP4亮点：刻画细节冲突,优美连表达刻画细节冲突添加细节Jane在当晚和次日的动作，语言，心理描写以及对周围环境的描写。营造冲突1 .扩大JaIIe在夜晚内心的冲突（后悔与丈夫吵架）2 .渲染Jane当晚与次日与环境之间的冲突（当晚“恶劣”环境与内心无助和恐惧的冲突；次日让直升机发现自己的困难与渴望被救的冲突）优美连贯表达Butnomorehelicopterscameanditwasgettingdarkagain.Inthedreadfuldarkness,®（一切都像准备好发动攻击的野兽）明喻+过去分词作定语（又累又怕）双形容词作状语,Janewasrootedtospot,unabletoutteraword.（如果我没有和汤姆吵架，我现在就不会被困在这里了）虚拟语气,"ShethoughtOfherself（后悔的泪水模糊了她的眼睛）with的复合结构.（被恐惧包围着）过去分词作状语,Janeabandonedherselftodespairandfellasleep.uTom,isthatyou?”Shemurmured.4tTom,help!,Inherdream,®（她看见一位男士张开双臂）现在分词作宾补towardsheratadistance.ItwasdaybreakwhenJanewokeup.（尽管很沮丧）省略结构,Janedecidedtocontinueforcingherwayahead.However,shefoundithardtofindawayOUt,（这再次让她绝望）定语从句LFortunately,ahelicopterflewOverheadjustatthatmoment.（Jane太激动了，她立刻冲到岩石边）倒装结landclimbedontoiteagerly.（眼里闪耀着希望的光芒）独立主格结构,shewavedheryellowblousemadlytothehelicopter,（lI）（大声呼救）现在分词短语作伴随状语.Tohergreatjoy,thehelicopterspottedherandcametoherhelp.（12）（当团聚的时候）省略结构,Janeandherhusbandhuggedeachothertightlyinthewarmthlightoftherisingsun.STEP5基本点：做到首尾呼应,结构完整合理提升点：为了做到首尾呼应，使文章结构更加完整，考生可以在第二段的结尾回扣文章开头Jane与丈夫的争吵和冲突，充分体现本次经历后二人的感受。优秀范文Butnomorehelicopterscameanditwasgettingdarkagain.Immediately,anabsolutedarknessruledtheforest.Jane,exhaustedandscared,laydownnearastone,missingherfamilyatadistance.Allthefantasticmemorycrowdedinandshecouldn'thelpcrying,"Hadn'tIquarreledwithTom,walkedawayandCIimbedtothehighplace,Iwouldn'tbetrappedinthisawfulplace,confrontedwiththedangerofdying."Sheregrettedwithendlessanxiety,andthenbecameasleepwithshiningtearsinhereyes.ItwasdaybreakwhenJanewokeup.Weakasshewas,shestruggledtoherfeet,continuingsearchingforassistance.Tohergreatjoy,ahelicopterwasflyingoverheadagainandagain.Eagerandexcited,sheflaggedheryellowblouseandsparednoefforttoyellsoastoattractOthersattention.Fortunately,shewaseventuallynoticedandbroughtintothehelicoDier.There,shesawherhusband,amanstaringather,wearinganexpressionofrelief.Astightlyaspossible,shehuggedhimandwastoothrilledtosayanything.Besides,theyagreednevertoquarrelagain,determiningtolivethelifetothefullest.【解析】首先，在逻辑上，要做到了合理合情：起初，主人公身陷森林，内心充满了悔恨，在面对困难时焦虑、畏惧；之后，主人公努力求生，最终获救，并且领悟到了一定的人生道理。纵观整个故事，情节发展不仅符合两段给出的开头所限定的情景要求，而且还设置了一定的悬念，增强了故事的可读性。文章第一句"anabsolutedarknessruledtheforest"中，"rule"一词就使用了拟人的修辞手法，让森林阴森黑暗的一面展露无遗，同时描绘出主人公身处绝境的紧迫性。在"Eagerandexcited,sheflaggedheryellowblouse."句中，直接将情绪形容词放在句首，使用了非谓语动词的语法，表达精练。此夕卜，"There,shesawherhusband,amanstaringather,wearinganexpressionofrelief.',一句中，使用了几个短句，却包含了两处非谓语动词语法，同时活用了“wear”一词，把两个人相见时的场景生动地描绘了出来。【词汇拓展】1）表示并列关系的过渡词：and,aswellas,or,Notonly.butalso2）表示转折关系的过渡词：but,yet,however,although,由OUgh3）表示时间关系的过渡词：first,second,third,andthen,finally,after,before,afterafewdays,atlast,atthattime,later,inthepast,immediately,inthemeanwhile,when,while,then,afterthat.