Ghosts《鬼屋欢乐送》第三季第二集完整中英文对照剧本.docx
皮特你要是在等这束阳光Imightbeawhileifyou'rewaiting可能还得多等会儿fortheshaftoflight,Pete.没事儿你慢慢来Oh,that'sokay,youtakeyourtime.看着你开心我也开心Givesmepleasuretoseeyougettingpleasure.算了让给你Justtakeit.杰在亚马逊买♥♥的Ooh,Jay'snewTVarrived新电视机到啦fromAmazonPrime.不是昨天才下单吗Didn'thejustorderthatyesterday?现代的货物运输可真是令人惊叹啊Themoderntransportofgoodsistrulyamarvel.如此高效挽救了多少马匹的命Somuchefficiency,sofewhorsedeaths.杰大家都在你可以宣布了Jay,they'rehere,youcanmakeyourannouncementnow.好了是这样的大家Okay,here'sthedeal,people.这电视仅限活人可看好吗ThisisforLivingsonly,okay?我需要一台不被鬼鬼们控制着IneedoneTVthatisn'tdominated成天播放垃圾真人秀的电视byghostswatchingtrashreality.健美运动员的妻子才不是垃圾呢BodybuilderWivesisnottrash.那是七位勇敢女性背后的故事It,sapeekbehindthecurtainofsevenbravewomen以及她们爱的肌肉男andthemuscleboundmentheylove.可是浪♥女♥之战Although,SkankWars.好吧这个没什么可抵赖的Sure,that'shardertodefend.伙计们杰为建造餐厅Guys,Jayhasbeenputtinginlonghours投入了太长时间planningtherestaurant.应该让他好好休息放放轻松Hedeservestorelax,kickback,用4k电视看看尼克斯队输球watchtheKnickslosein4K.太损了吧宝儿Goodsmacktalk,babe.说到餐厅SASAPPIS:Speakingoftherestaurant,杰有再考虑下我的主意hasJaygivenanymorethoughttomyidea放一台披萨烤箱吗aboutputtinginapizzaoven?燃气或柴火都行我不挑Gasorwood-fired,Imnotpicky,不过还是柴火烤披萨更好些but,youknow,probablywood-fired.萨斯又在问买♥♥披萨烤箱的事了Sassisaskingagainaboutyoubuyingapizzaoven.抱歉萨斯亲Sorry,Sassarinoz只是它跟餐厅的格调不太搭itjustdoesn'tworkwiththekitchenlayout.首先告诉他别再这么叫我First,tellhimtonevercallmethatagain,然后请向他andthenconvey传达我对不买♥♥烤箱深切的失望之情mydeepdisappointmentabouttheoven.我们把电视放哪儿宝儿JAY:Sowhatarewethinking,babe,挂在这面墙上吧hangitonthiswall,right?我说不好我觉得大家Oh,Idon'tknow,Ithinkpeople通常喜欢把电视挂在壁炉上usuallyputthemabovethefireplace.这里是目光焦点Sortofafocalpoint.什么那也太高了What?That,swaytoohigh.电视应该放在和人坐着时视线齐平的地方YouwanttheTVtobeateye-levelwhenyou'resitting.这叫最佳视角lt,scalledoptimalviewingangle.这话说得也太傲慢了OOfthatwasdrippingwithcondescension就是这种态度才让马真塔That'stheattitudethatgotMagenta在浪♥女♥之战中被踢出局kickedoffofSkankWars.说的没错但如果放在那儿Right,butifweputitthere那我们的沙发就只能背靠门thenwe'dhavethebackofthecouchfacingthedoor,这就把风水给破坏掉了andthat'sbadfengshui.这事儿上我和杰意见一致PETE:IgottogowithJayonthisone.我可不想伸长了脖子看电视Youdon'twanttobecraningyourneck本人可是很了解脖子痛是什么感觉的andthat'scomingfromaguywhoknowsaboutneckpain.加一詹姆斯麦迪逊的狩猎版画Agreed.JamesMadison'shuntingprint就挂的高了几英尺washungseveralfeettoohigh.蜡烛燃烧的时候Wecouldbarelystareatit我们都坚持不住一直抬着头看fortheentireburnofatallowcandle.你们过去还真无聊啊Wow,youguysdidnothavealottodobackthen,huh?我们可是发明T民♥主♥啊Otherthaninventdemocracy?在欧洲人之中AmongstEuropeans.鬼鬼们喜欢这意大利红酱吗Howaretheghostslikingthemarinara?谈论食物会让索尔想起花花TalkoffoodremindThorofFlower.她活着的时候也吃食物Shealsoatefoodwhenalive.经常吃Manytimes.经常吃Manytimes.他们还挺喜欢-他还没缓过来呢Theyseemtobeenjoyingit.TREVOR:Well,he'sstillstruggling.我很同情他但花花去了更好的地方Ifeelfortheguy,butshe'sinabetterplace.任何地方都比这里好Anyplacewouldbebetterthanhere.我就是被困在自己老家的囚犯Aprisonerinmyancestralhome,我的厨房♥里装满了异国的食物mykitchenreekingofexoticfoods.这是意面It'sspaghetti.这么多元音Somanyvowels.我理解索尔的沮丧心情IunderstandThor'sfrustration.不管怎样花花也是他第三个升♥天♥的情人Afterall,Flowerwashisthirdparamourtobesuckedoff.是吗Shewas?哦对我总是忘记Oh,that'sright,Ikeepforgetting.卢埃拉和弗拉特玛丽亚升♥天♥的时候你们都不在NoneofyouwerearoundforLuellaorFlatMaria.弗拉特玛丽亚FlatMaria?不亲眼看到Untilyou'veseenit,你无法想象一群牛能对人类身体造成多大的伤害youcan,timaginewhataherdofcattlecandotothehumanbody.杰这也太悲伤了Oh,Jay,thisissosad.艾萨克刚刚说Apparently,Isaacsays索尔交过三个女朋友Thor'shadthreegirlfriends,她们在和他约会后andtheyallgotsuckedoff都升♥天♥了afterdatinghim.可怜的家伙Aw,poorguy.可怜的家伙Aw,poorguy.感觉就像是Soundslikehe,sgotaGoodLuckChuck好运查克situationgoingon.幸运查克是一部电影里面的主角叫杳克GoodLuckChuckisamovieaboutaguynamedChuck睡过超多女人whosleptwithalotofwomen.完美人设Flawlesspremise.每个女火在和他约会之后Andeverywomanthathehookedupwith都会遇到自己的真命天子wouldmarrythenextmanthatshemet.如果杰说的没错So,ifJayiscorrect,这的确是幸运查克剧情上演andthisisindeedaGoodLuckChucksituation,难道真的每个dowebelievethatanywoman难道真的每个dowebelievethatanywoman和索尔约会过的女人Thorbecomesromanticallyentangledwith都能够升♥天♥吗mayendupgettingsuckedoff?有可能ISAAC:Possibly.那个可怜的维京人ThatpoorVikingbastard.有趣Interesting.有趣Interesting.杰阿伦德卡尔罚球ANNOUNCER:JayArondekaratthecharitystripe,胜负未分gameontheline,他要赢得此次比赛towinthechampionship拯救世界andsavetheworld.披萨烤箱Pizzaoven.什么去买♥♥一台披萨烤箱What?Getapizzaoven.你想要一台披萨烤箱Youwantapizzaoven.没有披萨烤箱就活不下去Youcan'tlivewithoutapizzaoven.第二发Shootingtwo.太好了Yes!柴火烤披萨Whoo!Wood-fired!柴火烤披萨柴火烤披萨CROWD:Wood-fired!Wood-fired!柴火烤披萨Wood-firedlHuh?柴火烤披萨CROWD:Wood-fired!你好呀索尔Heythere,Thor.打扰你了嘛AmIinterruptinganything?我想着来鼓励你一小下Ithoughtmaybeyoucouldusesome.cheeringup.不打扰索尔只是在想Notinterrupting.Thorjustthinkingaboutemptiness宇宙的空虚存在的虚无ofuniverse,futilityofexistence,美味的s鱼deliciousnessofcod.可怜的索尔PoorThor.你经历了太多痛苫You'vebeenthroughalot.或许我可以Maybethere'ssomewayIcan.帮你放松下helpyourelax.你真是太善良了Oh,yes,that.verykind.我总是忘记狼尿有多刺鼻Ialwaysforgethowpungentthatwolfurineis.那品质是最好的Ishighestquality.第一次挤爆狼尸体的膀胱Firstsqueezeofdeadwolfbladder.太令人垂涎了Mm.Ismostcoveted.真是有趣极了Sointeresting.感觉真好Itisnice.再用力些Don'tbeafraidtoreallygetinthere.我觉得我已经HETTY:IbelieveI'minas.用尽全力了deepasmpreparedtogo.问个问题Question:你个家伙(HelI)whattheH-E-double-hockeysticks昨晚在萨曼和杰房♥间做什么呢wereyoudoinginSamandJay'sbedroomlastnight?你在说什么Whatareyoutalkingabout?你以为我睡着了但我没有YouthoughtIwassleeping,butIwasn't,因为我有睡眠呼吸中止症,causeofmysleepapnea,我以为死后就会好了但并没有whichIassumeddgetridofwhenIdied,butIdidn't,所以我白天也总是疲惫不堪somalwaysalittletired.嘿亲爱的SAMANTHA:Oh,hey,sweetie.你在干什么Whatareyoudoing?我在标记电视要放的位置Oh,mjustmarkingoffwheretheTVwouldgo,不管是社交论&hearts坛♥电脑码奴if,youknow,weputitwhereRedditandtheGeekSquad还是常理思维都会赞同的地方andcommonsensesayitshouldgo.那你在干嘛-我今天要一直跟着萨曼莎Andwhatareyoudoing?mfollowingSamanthafortheday.周三的惯例活动It'sWednesday.杰那样的话沙发就得放这边Jay,thatwouldmeanthecouchgoesthere,这太不合理了whichisinsane.我说不好Idon'tknow,沙发放那边也挺好啊thecouchovertheremightlooknice.鬼鬼们在笑你呢Oh,theghostsarelaughingatyou.我本想把这活动改在周四但是IwasthinkingaboutswitchingtoThursdays,but周三是萨曼莎和凯文调情的日子WednesdayisthedaythatSamanthaflirtswithKevin,那个送水的家伙thewaterdeliveryman.我才没有怎么了Idonot.What?没有Nothing.那是怎么回事So,whatisthat?你在挑披萨烤箱吗Areyoulookinguppizzaovens?是啊好奇怪Yeah,itwasthestrangestthing.我今早起来就非常肯定Iwokeupthismorningabsolutelycertain我们该买♥♥台披萨烤箱thatweshouldgetapizzaoven放进餐厅-你不是说fortherestaurant.SAMANTHA:Ithoughtyousaid烤箱和餐厅格调不符吗itwouldn'tfitwiththekitchenlayout.改主意也是常有的事萨曼Theman'sallowedtochangehismindjSam.我不知道JAY:Idon'tknow.我一觉醒来就这样认定了Ijustwokeupconvinced,所以我就想办法处理格调的事吧somgonnafindawaytomakeitwork.你是大厨你做主You'rethechef.看来今天是你的幸运日咯萨斯1.ookslikeit'syourluckyday,Sass.是啊幸运的很Yeah.Verylucky.我去上视频瑜伽课了Well,IhaveZoomyoga.我去上视频瑜伽课了:Well,IhaveZoomyoga.我赌50块那儿一个印度人都没有50buckssaysthere'snotasingleIndianpersonthere.昨天杰还信誓旦旦的说不想要披萨烤箱So,yesterday,Jaysayshedoesn'twantapizzaoven.然后你昨晚对他做了些奇怪的事情Thenyoudidsomeweirdthingtohimwhileheslept,他醒来就突然想要烤箱了andhejustwokeupwantingone?是啊多奇妙的巧合啊Yeah,prettycoolcoincidence,huh?到底怎么回事萨斯What,sgoingon,Sass?我不知道你在说什么Idon'tknowwhatyou'retalkingabout我们是室友啊我的秘密我都告诉你的Weareroommates.1tellyouallmysecrets.你知道我幻想着去洛尼安德森河漂流YouknowaboutmyLoniAndersonriverraftingfantasy.你到底想说什么皮特-重点是What'syourpoint,Pete?Thepointis,Iteltyou我什么都告诉你可你显然有事瞒着我everything,andIknowthere'ssomethingyou'renottellingme.如果你想着伤害我的杰And-andifyou'redoingsomethingtohurtmyJay你闭嘴吧好吗声音小点Wouldyoustop?Keepyourvoicedown,okay?我不是要伤害杰听我说mnothurtingJay.Justlisten.这是我的鬼鬼超能力It'smyghostpower.我可以进入到活人的梦里Okay?IcansubtlyinfluenceLivings潜移默化的影响他们的想法别告诉别人bygoingintotheirdreams.Justdon,ttellanyone.我的老天爷啊这超能力太强大了Cheeseandcrackers.That'sincredible.我滴个老天鹅Holyguacamole.别再感叹r真的很烦人Wouldyoupleasestopswearingcleanly?Ifsveryannoying.只是这超能力也太强大了香蕉你个巴拿拿PETE:It,sjust,that'soneheckofaghostpower.CookieCrisp.±多啤犁苹果橙你可以进入到别人的梦里啊Imean,dipmychip,youcanjumpintootherpeople'sdreams?是的别问了只有索尔知道Shh!Yes,okay?AndnooneknowsotherthanThor,我只能告诉他做那么多年来whoIhadtotellbecausewewerealonetogether这里只有我们俩那可是无数尴尬对望的瞬间啊formanyyears,andtherewerealotofawkwardsilences.那你可以操纵别人做事咯So,youcanjustmakepeopledowhateveryouwant?没那么简单我得获得他们的信任Well,it'snotthatsimple.Ihavetogaintheirtrust,时不时的出现在他们的梦里repeatedlyshowupintheirdreams,这人还得意志不那么坚定andthepersonhastobesusceptible.还好杰的思维就像墙头草1.uckily,Jay'smindisliketaffy.那你经常去杰梦里和他玩咯Wait,so-soyou're,like,alwayshangingoutwithJay,huh?他会梦到些什么Yeah.What-whatdoeshedreamabout?基本上都是打篮球好吧Uh,mostlybasketball.Cool.太空旅行-有趣andspacetravel.Lovethat.有时候会梦到萨曼And,sometimes,hehasadreamaboutSam穿着莉亚公主的比基尼我就知道inthat,uh,PrincessLeiabikini.Ofcoursehedoes老婆就是杰的天Jay'sarealwifeguy.但我得说一句Hmm.ButIgottosay,Imean,这感觉不太道德吧萨斯这不是意念控制吗thisdoesn'tseemethical,Sass.Imean,mindcontrollingpeople?你什么都不许说皮特Don'tyoudaresayanything,Pete.我们是室友要为彼此保守秘密Okay?We'reroommates,right?Wekeepeachother,ssecrets.但这个关系到其他人Butthisaffectsotherpeople.我觉得萨曼和杰Imean,1-1don'tthinkSamandJay不会喜欢你的所作所为wouldappreciatewhatyou'redoing.但我知道会有谁喜欢Well,Iknowsomeonewhowouldappreciateit.如果杰把你最爱的露营食物WhenJayputsyourfavoritecampingtreat-棉花糖夹心饼干放进餐厅菜单里s,mores-onhisrestaurantmenu.我可以帮你实现Icanmakethathappen,只要你配合我ifyouplayball.考虑下吧Justthinkaboutit.全麦酥饼Grahamcracker,巧克力还有中间夹的白白软软的chocolate,andthatwhitestuff一百年前出现的美味thatshowedup,like,100yearsago.棉花糖-棉花糖Marshmallow.Marshmallow.不不行No!Ican,t.我唯一想要的夹心1.ook,theonlys'moreminterestedin就是你正直的心iss'moreintegrityaroundhere.你这人真没劲Ugh.You'resolame.Yeah,或许你说的对但至少我夜晚能够安眠thatmaybetrue,butatleastIcansleepatnight.我是说如果没有呼吸暂停病的话Well,Imean,ifitweren'tfortheapnea,这病死了以后还有可真是太奇怪了which,again,issoweirdthatthatexistsintheafterlife.你没事吧特雷弗Hey.Youdoingokay,Trevor?你看上去像是YoulooklikewhenSamand)ay被萨曼和杰设置了上网时长管控putparentalcontrolsontheInternet.我觉得我和海蒂或许没办法继续了Idon'tthinkthingsareworkingoutwithmeandHetty.你俩不是分手了吗Didn'tyoutwobreakup?哦没有我们只是这样告诉你们Oh,right.No,wejusttoldyouallthat这样我们偷偷摸摸的偷♥情♥更刺♥激♥sowecouldsneakaround,whichmakesthesexhotter.你们这俩孩子玩的可真花Child,youtwoareexhausting.我知道1know.我刚刚看到她Anyway,Ijustsawher在勾引索尔tryingtoseduceThor.等等什么我们的那个索尔Wait.What?OurThor?不知道代词怎么用的那个索尔"Neverlearnedpronouns"Thor?是的我知道她不是真的看上索尔了Yes.Although,Iknowit'snotlikeshe'sintohimforreal.她只是想被吸上天She'sjusttryingtogetsuckedoff.等等给我讲讲怎么回事Uh-uh.Backup.Walkmethroughthis.艾萨克告诉我们花花其实是Okay,IsaactoldusthatFlower,sactually第三个索尔被吸上天的女朋友了thethirdgirlfriendofThor'stogetsuckedoff.所以大家觉得他就是升♥天♥的门票Basically,peoplethinkheSlikeatickettoheaven.有趣Interesting.这多恶心啊不是吗Imean,it'sgross,right?这样利用他Usinghimlikethat?更不用说这对我来讲有多侮辱人Nottomention,completelyrudetome.太有趣了Veryinteresting.皮特告诉我你干了什么萨斯SAMANTHA:Petejusttoldmewhatyouvebeenupto,Sass.你开什么玩笑Areyoukidding?你一直在进入我丈夫的梦境You'vebeenenteringmyhusband'sdreams试图操纵他的想法tomanipulatehisthoughts?好吧是这样但我真的想要披萨烤箱Okay,yes,butIreallywantedapizzaoven.等等艾萨克呢今天不是他尾随你的日子吗Wait,where'sIsaac?Ithoughthewasshadowingyoutoday?他在做婴儿式瑜伽动作的时候睡着了所以我就溜走了Yeah,hefellasleepduringchild'spose,soIsnuckout.重点是这样做严重侵犯了我们之间的隐私和信任Thepointis,thisisahugebreachoftrustandprivacy.更别说这也太惊悚了别再进杰的脑子了Nottomention,it'screepy.JuststayoutofJay'shead.抱歉知道了msorry.Lessonlearned.谢谢你-知道吗Thankyou.Andyouknowwhat?我很为你骄傲萨曼mproudofyou,Sam.你什么意思Whatdoyoumean?我只是觉得Well,Ijustthinkthat要换作其他的妻子没你这么大义凛然的anotherwife,alesserwife,或许会想要让这超能力为她所用mightwanttousethispowertoherownbenefitLike,比如说赢得一场胜负击定的夫妻争论Idon'tknow,towinanongoingmaritaldispute.你们决定好把电视装在哪里了吗DidyouguyseverdecidewheretoputtheTV,bytheway?你什么意思Whatareyousaying?你知道我什么意思Oh,Ithinkyouknowwhatmsaying.你也知道在哪儿能找到我Andyouknowwheretofindme.你在这儿呢Oh,thereyouare.做完瑜伽真是神清气爽Man,Ifeelrefreshed.现在该F楼去办公桌整理这周的邮件了Now,downtothedeskfortheweeklysortingofthemail.周三真快乐哟:Wednesdays.我们得谈谈Weneedtotalk.特雷弗Trevor.你遇到什么烦心事了吗Issomethingtroublingyou?是我的确有烦心事Yeah,something'stroublingme.我们已经是在偷♥情♥了We'resecretlyhookingup你还偷偷摸摸的想勾搭我室友andyou,resecretlytryingtohookupwithmyroommate.你是在说索尔吗Oh,you'retalkingaboutthehorthing.这没什么好偷偷摸摸的Well,there'snothingsecretaboutit.我光明正大连门都没关IwasmostovertIleftthedooropen.我们压根没法儿关门Weliterallycan'tclosedoors.好吧我知道你为什么不开心Okay,Igetwhyyou'reupset但如果Butifyou你真的在乎我trulycaredforme,难道不希望我和你的室友在一起wouldn'tyouwantmetogetsuckedoff然后愉快的升♥天♥吗bybeingwithyourroommate?从某种角度来讲Well-Inaway,难道不是你太自私了吗isn'tityouwho,sbeingselfish?重点是Thepointis,我原谅你了Iforgiveyou.不不No.No.This?我们之间的关系结束了Youandme,isover.你勾搭索尔是不对的WhatyoudidwithThorwaswrong.告诉你阿尔伯塔也这样想Andjustsoyouknow,Albertaagreeswithme.阿尔伯塔知道索尔的神奇能力了吗AlbertaknowsaboutThor'smagichammer?是啊她还觉得你的行为非常有趣Yeah,andshefoundyourbehavior"veryinteresting.她是这样说的-是啊还说了两次Isthatwhatshesaid?Yeah.Twice.所以So.抱歉了姐们儿但我离开这道门sorry,sister,butmwalkingthroughthisdoor就不会回来了我走了andmnotcomingback.vegottogo.早啊亲爱的SAMANTHA:Oh,morning,sweetie睡得好吗-好极了How,dyousleep?Incredible.你知道咱家的工具放哪儿了吗Doyouknowwhereourtoolsare?我睡得不好Ididnotsleepwell.我的舌头整个滑到喉咙里了Mytongueliterallyslipsintomythroat.嗓子眼里的箭已经够占地方了Whichisalreadyprettypackedrealestate.你要工具干什么Whydoyouneedthetools?我要去把电视挂起来我醒来后又想了想mgoingtohangtheTV.Iwokeupthinkingaboutit我觉得你说的对andyouknowwhat?Youwereright.什么真的吗What?Really?对啊最佳视角有什么好的Yeah,Imean,whocaresaboutoptimalviewingangle?你想把电视挂在壁炉上YouwanttheTVoverthemantle.不这不是你的想法这是她的想法No,youdon,t,that'swhatshewants.我真不敢相信Icannotbelieveyou.你现在竟然利用萨斯达到你的目的了Nowyou'reusingSasstogetwhatyouwant?杰这不是什么大不了的事Well,Jay,itwassuchatrivialmatter.根本不值得争论Andnotremotelyworthgettingworkedupabout.但我很高兴我们达成一致了Butmgladit,sbehindusnow.你是位很坏的女士坏坏的女士You'reabadlady.Abad,badlady.走进房♥间看到沙发的背面Imean,walkinginandseeingthebackofthecouch.难道我们是动物吗Imean,w-whatarewe,animals?对吧-坏女士Right?Badlady!我一直在想你那天ALBERTA:Youknow,Iwasthinkingaboutthatstory跟我讲的故事youweretellingtheotherday.就是你操着自己雄壮的臂膀Theoneaboutyouraidingthatvillage突袭了那个村庄usingthosebigstrongarmsofyours.索尔的这种光辉事迹多了去了能说详细些吗That'smanyofThor'sstories.Canyoubemorespecific?就是你徒手把一头猪撕成碎片的那次Theonewhereyourippedapigapartusingyourbarehands.你还记得是什么种类的猪吗Doyourememberwhattypeofpig?索尔我正要找你呢Thor?JustthemanIwaslookingfor.阿尔伯塔我能单独和他聊聊吗Alberta,mindifIstealhimforasec?我们正忙着呢Actually,we,rekindofinthemiddleofsomething.我想也是Ibetyouare.不过我的确得跟索尔单独聊聊Unfortunately,IreallymustspeakwithThoralone.你想和索尔说什么都不用避着我WhateveryouneedtosaytoThoryoucansayinfrontofme.让开女人BackOfCwoman.得让我先来你欠我的Mm.Igofirst.Youoweme.你儿子杀了我你替他隐瞒了一个世纪Yoursonkilledmeandyouhiditforacentury!我在这儿被困了一个世纪了vebeenstuckherelongerthanyou.最应该升♥天♥的只能是我Ifanyo
