ResidentAlien《外星居民（2021）》第三季第四集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

前情提要Previously,on'ResidentAlien*.地球上到处是灰人和人类的混血儿ThereareGrey-humanhybridsallovertheEarth.那是枪击彼得巴♥赫♥和我的守卫的人That'sthemanwhoshotPeterBachandmyguards.我们要杳出灰人的意图WeneedtofindoutwhattheGreysareupto.灰人的洞穴在这里TheGreyscavernishere.若他们用此连接岩浆库Ifthey'veconnectedittothemagmachamber,那压力会让黄石国家公园thepressurewouldturnYellowstoneNationalPark变成世界历史上intothemostdestructivenaturalbomb最具破坏力的天然炸♥弹♥inthehistoryoftheworld.那么距离爆♥炸♥还有多久So,howlong'tilitblowsup?可能一年吧Maybeayear.你触犯了星际法YoubrokeGalacticLaw.你被命令要马上离开地球YouareherebyorderedtoleaveEarthimmediately.该死Sonofabitch.那就是指纹Thatrightthere,isafingerprint.温迪比士利医生，退休军事化学家DoctorWendyBeasly,retiredmilitarychemist.我们成功了，我们找到配对Wedidit.Wegotamatch.不，上次是我选择No,Ichoselasttime.我想去你想去的地方Iwanttogowhereyouwanttogo.-少来了我说真的-Uh-huh-Really.好吧，去安东尼奥，如何Okay,well,howaboutAntonio's?不是吧？吃意粉？Youthink?Thepasta?好吧，如果你是我Okay.Well,ifyouwereme,你想吃什么,whatwouldyouwanttoeat?你一直都喜欢墨西哥菜Well,youalwayslikeMexican.我确实很喜欢，对吧Ido,don'tI?对，那就墨西哥卷饼峰吧Uh-huh.MountTacoitis.墨西哥卷饼峰MountTaco.在实验室玩得开心好的-Havefuninthelab.-Okay.比士利医生，请到209号♥实验室DoctorBeasley,pleasecometoLab209.比士利医生，请到实验室DoctorBeasley,pleasecometoLab.加利？Gary?开门，快找人开门Openthedoor!Somebodyopenthedoor!-救命-加利?-Help!-Gary?加利Gary.天啊Oh,myGod.天啊加利Oh,myGod.Gary!不No.加利Gary!他们不能逼你离开地球Theycan'tjustmakeyouleaveEarth.我们要对这传票♥据♥理力争Wewillfightthesummons.你不明白Youdonotunderstand.星际联盟已把这传票送到TheGalacticFederationhasreferredthisto.房♥屋委员会，没机会了TheHousingCouncil.Itisover.哈利，你不能放弃Harry,youcan'tjustgiveup.我们需要你在这里，好吗Weneedyouhere,okay?我才不理会这房♥屋委员会Idon'tgiveas*taboutthisHousingCouncil.不No.你不能对房♥屋委员会口出狂言YoucannottalkthatwayaboutTheHousingCouncil.这非常危险Itisverydangerous.对不起，我听不清楚msorry,Ididn'tcatchthat.我能翻译，主要是失去一只手Icantranslate,it,smostlyaboutlosingahand.明智的选择Goodchoice.你想对它们做什么Whatareyoudoingwiththose?把它们放在所有驱逐令去的地方Puttingthemwhereallevictionnoticesgo.丢进火里Thefire.它们不会烧掉的Those.thosewillnotburn.它们不是纸Theyarenotpaper.它们是什么武达皮-Whatisit?-Moldarskin.恶心，我现在是纯素者了Gross.mvegannow.武达皮并不恶心Moldarskinisnotgross.武达皮做的帽是最好的帽Moldarskinhatsarethebesthats.武达皮，尝试撕开它MoldarSkin.Tryandripit.你撕不开Youcannot.传令官来了Theprocessoriscoming!尝试不要被她的美丽脸庞弄得分心Trynottobedistractedbyherprettyface.青春期的外星人Pubescentaliens会把蓝鸟人的全息影像hanghologramsofBlueAvians挂在床上abovetheirbed.我就是这样Idid.你是一只鸟You'reabird.不可恶No.damnit.该死的传送门，真差劲Stupidportal.Sucks.我应该以人类形态出现在目的地msupposedtoappearasthelifeformsatmydestination.现在轮到我触犯星际法了，棒极了NowmbreakingGalacticLaw.Great.你不需要以人类的样子出现Youdonotneedtoappearasahuman.你这样子已是完美无瑕Youareperfectthewayyouare.谢谢，但传送门最近一直有些问题Thanks,butthisthinghasbeentouchy自从某些普比星的白♥痴♥eversincesomeidiotfromProbate试图用它偷运水果triedtosneakfruitthroughit.为何水果是违♥禁♥品♥Whycan,tyoutakefruit?那是你现在要问的问题吗That'sthequestionyou'reaskingrightnow?听着，把已签署的文件给我，好吗1.ook,justgivemethesignedpapers,okay?接着房♥屋委员会就会过来AndthenTheHousingCouncilisgonnacome然后就接走你，进行驱逐andthey'regonnacollectyouforeviction.你散发着树木味，我会签署文件Yousmellwoodsy.Iwillsignthem.求求你，鸟小姐Please,MissesBird.不不要用鸟小姐称呼我No.Don,tcomeatmewithMissesBird.我的地球名字叫海瑟MyEarthnameisHeather.与羽毛押韵？Oh,rhymeswith'feather'?对，没错Yeah.Itdoes.真希望有人在我选这名字时跟我说WishsomeonehadtoldmethatwhenIpickedit.海瑟，哈利要拯救我们的星球Heather,Harryisheretosaveourplanet.所以这次你能网开一面吗So,ifyoucouldjustlooktheotherwayonthisone?你知道我是逐份工作支薪吧YouknowIgetpaidbythejob,right?我怎会知道AndhowwouldIknowthat?听着，若你想要文件Well,look,ifyouwantthepapers,它们就在地上they'reoverthereonthefloor.好的，别担心，我会去拿它们Okay.Don'tworry,llgogetthem.我会在地上拿起它们lljustpickthemupoffthefloor就像该死的鸽子一样likeafriggin'pigeon.不No.Oh,no.太惨了Terriblenews.我看得出你们两个对此非常难过Yeah,Icantellyou2arereally,reallyupsetaboutit.但这对我可是很麻烦，好吗Butthissucksforme,okay?因为现在我要打给修理工BecausenowIhavetocalltherepairguy他要用超长时间修理andhe'sgonnatakeforever而且他还要订不同的零件andthenhe'sgonnahavetoorderparts,那亦需要超长时间which'lltakeforever.所以基本上andsobasically,我困在银河系最差劲的星球mstuckonthes*ttiestplanetinthegalaxy.恕我直言，我看到你们在我说Nooffence.Iseeyourmouthsareagape最差劲的星球时张大了嘴atmesaying's*ttiestplanet,.真抱歉，我要去洗手间Sorry,Ineedtousethebathroom.我们要放报纸之类吗Uh,doweputdownanewspaperorsomething?我是要换样子，你这白♥痴♥Ifstochange,youd*k.洗手间在走廊右边Itisdownthehallonyourright.我希望我有把厕板放下IhopeIputtheseatdown.我刚用一条香蕉拯救了世界Ijustsavedtheworldwithabanana,你今天过得如何howwasyourday?对，你拯救了世界Yeah,youdid.那是最好的香蕉Itwasthebestone.它熟得刚好Itwastheperfectamountofripe.那么，问题So,question.你们有人能推荐附近的酒店吗Cananyofyourecommendahotelaroundhere?中等价钱Somethingmid-range,最好能赚到飞行里数preferablywhereyoucanearnmiles?我现在见到海瑟了Huh.Isee'Heather'now.你这么早就起床了Hey,you,reupearly.对，我仍然睡不着Yeah,Istillcan,tsleep.半夜起来感到惊恐，但不知道原因UphalfthenightfeelingterrifiedandIdon'tknowwhy.但我在想But,Iwasthinking.有时候你压力很大-经常如此-Sometimes,you'restressed.-Allthetime.很多时候-每天如是-Alotofthetime.-Everyday.但你制♥作♥蜡烛时就没有压力Butnotwhenyou,remakingcandles.因为你能创作来释放压力Becauseyouhaveacreativeoutlet.我知道我一段时间没拿起画簿Ihaven'tpickedupmysketchbookinawhile,Iknow,但我想我会画一本儿童书butIthinkmgonnadoachildren'sbook.这是很好的主意Oh,that,sagreatidea.我小时候Youknow,whenIwasakid,我总是想要一本.Ialwayswantedabookwitha.有小象和猴子的书ababyelephantandamonkey.-太棒了-是-Oh,that'ssweet.-Yeah.这不是那种儿童书Thisisn,tthat.明白，我能看吗Gotit.Well,canIsee?我想还是在完成后才让你看吧I.Ithinkdratherjustwait,tilit'sfinished.好吧，我不说了Okay,saynomore.但如果有小象.Butifthereisababyelephant.没有There'snot.两个词，水手帽2words.'Sailor'scap.'想想吧Thinkaboutit.为何一名备受敬重的军事化学家Now,whywouldawell-respectedmilitarychemist会住在这么偏僻的地方enduplivingwayouthere活像某个诡异的童话女巫likesomekindofcreepy-a*fairytalewitch?他们说她有点疯癫Theysayshekindoflostit在她看到丈夫死于实验室意外后aftershesawherhusbanddieinalabaccident.实验室意外？Alabaccident?你是说我们可能要应付超级坏蛋？Areyousayingwecouldbefacingasupervillain?不，我没这样说No,Iwasnot.好的，因为我不能应付超级坏蛋Okay,becauseIcan'tbefacingasupervillain,我可是要想出notwhilemtryingtofigureout我最好的副警长到底发生了什么事whathappenedtomybestdeputy.现在，再跟我说一遍Now,tellmeagain你去约瑟夫家时看到什么whatyousawwhenyouwentbyJoseph'shouse.一字不漏Exactly.好的，我们绝对要再谈Okay,we,redefinitelygonnagetbackto最好的副警长那部分the,bestdeputy'part.我说了，那里空无一物，他离开了Itoldyou,itwasempty.He,sgone.那不是很可疑吗Isn,tthatsuspicious?他是陆军侦察兵，他不会无故离开He'sArmyRecon.Hewouldn'tjustquit.更令人可疑的What'sevenmoresuspicious是正当我们聘用另一名副警长时isrightwhenwe'relookingforanotherdeputy,完美的候选人刚好出现theperfectcandidatejustshowsup.英俊的人就是有这样的待遇That'showitworksforhandsomepeople.这情况经常在我身上发生Happenstomeallthetime.我做过的每份工作EveryjobIevergot在我想要前都不存在didn'tevenexistuntilIwantedit.警长一职在你上任前已存在，长官ThejobofSheriffexistedbeforeyouhadit,sir.对，但我在上任那天跟自己说Yeah,butitwasthedayIsaidtomyself,当警长真棒'It'dbenicetobeSheriff/那前任警长贺霍就死了thatOldSheriffHawthorneupanddied.我是否杀了他？可能吧Now,didIkillhim?Maybe.幸好你不会因为想法而被捕1.uckily,youcan,tbearrestedforyourthoughts.暂时不能，我在努力让这成真Yet.mworkingonit.如果我们让哈利假死呢WhatifwefakeHarry'sdeath?死掉的话就不会被驱逐Can'tgetevictedifyou'redead.我别无选择，必须离开地球IhavenochoicebuttoleaveEarth.我们今早一直绞尽脑汁Wehavebeenbrainstormingallmorning,脑汁已经用完thestormhasstopped.现在脑袋已经闭塞了Andnowthereisjustmud.各位Hey,guys.艾丝塔，明天你会去德鲁的派对吗Asta,will1seeyouatDrew'spartytomorrow?当然会，我会出席派对Yes,ofcourse,llbethere.那是批吗？我需要它陪伴我的旅程Isthatapie?Ineeditformytrip.这是批，但不是给你的Itispie.Butit'snotforyou.是给我的法律助理It,sformyparalegal.假设Hey,hypothetically,你的朋友被驱逐sayyourfriendwasgettingevicted.这是上次的那个朋友吗Isthisthesamefriendaslasttime?顺带提，你仍欠我200元Bytheway,youstilloweme200dollars.不说名字Withoutnames,如果你想阻止那假设的驱逐sayyouwantedtostopthehypotheticaleviction.我第一个法律建议Myfirstpieceoflegaladvice是不要与这个人联名签署租约wouldbenottocosignaleasewiththisone.好的，我Okay,Ijust.记住了我们-Noted.-Canwe.至于你另一个朋友，我会建议等待Butforyourotherfriend,Iwouldsaymaybejustwaititout.或者反告？Orpossiblycountersue?你在做什么Whatareyoudoing?批早就放在这里Itwaslikethat.你要反告？You'recountersuing?你知道那需要做多少文书工作吗Doyouevenrealisehowmuchpaperworkthatis?我要与小安塔瑞斯的分时度假屋说再见了Guess,IcansaygoodbyetomytimeshareonLesserAntares.我很抱歉Oh,1amsorry.-小安塔瑞斯真的很漂亮是-LesserAntaresisverypretty.-Yeah.我的武达皮裤就是在那里买♥♥的IhaveMoldarskinpantsfromthere.我也是Metoo.它们很耐用Theyaresodurable.你试过把它们撕开一半吗Youevertriedrippingtheminhalf?你撕不开Youcannot.从来没人试过挑战房♥屋委员会Hey,noone'severtakenontheHousingCouncilbefore.你发生什么事了What'sgoingonwithyou?你是某种坏男孩之类吗Yousomekindofbadboyorsomething?对，我是坏男孩Yep,I'mabadboy.我不在乎Idon'tcareaboutit我甚至不是真正的医生mnotevenarealdoctor.那确实很坏Oh,thatisbad.我杀过人Ikilledaman.什么Youwhat?他很邪恶Hewasevil.我他我看到他踢海鸥I.he.Isawhimkickaseagull.还有偷它的薯条AndstoleitsFrenchfry.所以我杀了他SoIkilledhim.很高兴能与另一个外星人谈话It,snicetotalktoanotheralien.如果你会在佩信斯一段时间IfyouaregoingtobeinPatienceforawhile,或许我能带你四处逛maybeIcouldshowyouaroundtown.我们有薄饼店Wehaveapizzaplace.我不喜欢薄饼Idon'tlikepizza.我讨厌薄饼，我们是一样的Oh,Ihatepizza.Wearethesame.谢谢，但我还是回酒店吧Thanks,butIthinkmjustgonnaheadbacktothehotel.我的背令我快痛死，不知什么原因Mybackhasbeenkillingmeforsomereason.是人类的床的问题Itisthehumanbed.很原始，我想念我的崔斯人唾液床Soprimitive.ImissmyTrixiansalivabed.等等，你一定在开玩笑Wait,you'rekiddingme.我不知道仍能取得那种床Ididn,tknowyoucouldstillgetthose.坏男孩就可以Badboyscan.我能在检查室看你Icouldlookatyouintheexamroom.治疗你的背部Helpyourback.我们可以谈口水毛毯Wecouldtalkaboutspitblankets.好的Okay.护士,让海瑟舒服一点Nurse,makeHeathermorecomfortable.拿毛毯和吐口水在上面Geta.getablanketandspitonit.我会拿毛毯给她，但我不会吐口水Iwillgetherablanket,butIamnotdoingthat我对原始的地球医学感到抱歉IamsorryfortheprimitivenatureofEarthmedicine.这是他们听心脏的方式Thisishowtheylistentoyourheart.何不拿两个汤罐头再用线绑着它们Whynotget2soupcansandconnectthemwithstring.我听到你快死了Icanhearthatyouaredying.请脱掉你的外套Pleaseremoveyourjacket后面没事吧Everythingokaybackthere?她在发电吗Issheelectric?我晕头转向，膝盖没力Iambuzzingandmykneesaremelting.我跌倒了Ifell.我有东西咬我Iwas.somethingbitme.抱歉，可能是蜻Sorry.It,sprobablyamite.或像你说的Or,asyoumightsayit.你会说Youspeak.对，我当然会Yeah.OfcourseIdo.这是宇宙其中一种最美丽的语言Ifsoneofthemostbeautifullanguagesintheuniverse.她十全十美Sheisperfectineveryway.我有一种想闻她的奇怪欲望Ihaveastrangedesiretosmellher.那会很怪异Thatwouldbeweird.我肯定她闻起来像锁在高温车里的羽绒枕头Ibetshesmellslikeafeatherpillowlockedinahotcar.我能与你谈谈吗CanItalktoyouforaminute?我？Hey.Me?但这是给你的But.this.thisisforyou.*A1XfSi谢谢Thankyou.怎么了Yeah?你刚才在做什么Whatthehellwereyoudoing?不知道，我膝盖没力Idon'tknow.Mykneesareweak手掌冒汗andmypalmsaresweating.我知道这是什么Iknowwhatthisis.我在人类电影看过这状况Ihaveseenthisinhumanmovies.我堕入爱河了Iaminlove.什么？不，你只是刚认识她What?No,youjustmether.我爱她Ilove.Iloveher.我无法控制Icannothelpit.我感受到对她的爱意,就像Ifeelloveforherandit's.就像我对你的爱意，艾丝塔it'slikehowIfeelloveforyou,Asta.但这是不同的Butitisdifferent.这爱意不只在我的脑袋或内心Itisnotjustinmyheadorinmyheart,而且更在我的裤子里butitisinmypants.所以他们称这为堕入爱河吗Isthatwhytheycallit,inlove"?因为爱意会进人裤子里？Becauseitis,in,yourpants?哈利，你要回来吗Harry,youcomingback?我的膝盖Myknees.好吧Okay.比士利医生？DoctorBeasley?你是谁Whoareyou?我们想与你谈外星人追踪者彼得巴♥赫♥的事WewanttotalktoyouabouttheAlienTracker,PeterBach.彼得巴♥赫♥已经死了PeterBachisdead.我们知道，我们相信他是被杀害Weknowthat.Webelievehewasmurdered.我想念她Imissher.你觉得她想念我吗Doyou.doyouthinkshemissesme?我明白你的初恋是.所有一切I.Irealisethatyourfirstcrushis.everything.但我们在尝试拯救世界But.we'retryingtosavetheworld.你和我，你知道吗Youandme.Youknow?你现在不能因为感情关系而分心Andyoucan,tbedistractedbyarelationshiprightnow.我的心'Myheart,它在流汗,itsweats.,什么Huh?热力残留在我的胸口'Whatheatremainsinmychest.,天啊，情诗And,poetry.你是停电中的灯光,Youarealightintheblackout.'天啊Oh,boy.我想触摸你生蛋的部位'dliketotouchyouwheretheeggspopout.1够了Yeah.这作品的名字叫雀鸟欲♥火♥Ifstitled,'BirdBoner'.不如你们坐下吧Whydon'tyoutakeaseat?站在那里会让我很不自在Standingthereismakingmeuncomfortable.我们来是因为我们找到你的指纹We'reherebecausewefoundyourfingerprints在彼得的货车上inPeter,svan.货车在你们那里？它在哪里Youhavethevan?Whereisit?为何货车这么重要Whyisthevanimportant?这不重要，反正你们不会相信我It.itdoesn'tmatter.Youwon'tbelieveme.若你们相信，他们会找到你们Andifyoudo,they'llgettoyou然后告诉你们我是疯了一andtheywilltellyouthatmcrazy.但我知道我看到什么ButIknowwhatIsaw.我知道我的丈夫发生了什么事AndIknowwhathappenedtomyhusband.那不是该死的气体泄漏Anditwasn'tagoddamnedgasleak,也不是人类造成的anditwasn,tmadebyhumans.我看到你了Iseeyou.你以为我不知道那表情？YouthinkthatIdon'tknowthatlook?你们离开吧Youneedtoleave.我看过飞碟IsawaUFO.在我小时候WhenIwasakid.所有人都说我乱说来博取注意EveryonesaidImadeitupforattention.彼得是唯一相信我的人Peterwastheonlyonewhohaseverbelievedme.我要查明发生什么事，求求你Ineedtofindoutwhathappened.Please?彼得信任我，你也能信任我Petertrustedme,socanyou.你有钥匙吗Doyouhavethekey?货车钥匙？就在我手上Thevankey?Igotitrighthere.若彼得信任你，他就会把钥匙给你IfPetertrustedyou,hewould'vegivenyouthekey.滚Getout.让我猜猜，仍在写你的大学申请？1.etmeguess,stillfillingoutyourcollegeapplication?这些论文无聊极了Theseessaysarestupid.听着，我根本不想读大学1.ook,Idon,tevenwanttogo.我妈妈觉得大学能给我选择Mymumthinkscollegewillgiveme'options',所以so.选择是好事，我没有什么选择Well,optionsaregood.Ididn'thavemany结果一直与爸爸同住至三十多岁andIendeduplivingwithmydad'tilmy30s.没错，那就是我仍然单身的原因Yup,andthat'swhymstillsingle.你的家族史如何塑造你的人生,Howhasyourfamilyhistoryshapedyourlife?,有趣That'sfun.我是领养的madopted.-对-没错，你也一样-Right.-Yeah,andsoareyou.所以我不知道我的家庭So,Idon,tknowmyfamily因为你不知道你的家庭becauseyoudon'tknowyourfamily,所以看来只有拥有庞大家庭树的人soapparently,onlypeoplewithenormousfamilytrees才能读大学gettogotocollege.这系统很腐♥败♥,我不能参与其中Thesystemiscorrupted,Ican,tbepartofit.你是我们家庭的一部分You'reapartofourfamily.对，但不是血亲Yeah,but,notlikeabloodrelative.所以这不能相提并论So,it's.it'snotreallythesamething.你带她去过保留区吗HaveyoutakenhertotheRezyet?还未Notyet.就这样决定吧It'ssettled.你要去德鲁的派对You'recomingtoDrew'sparty.是时候认识你所有家人了Timetomeetyourwholefamily.你想要家庭树，你得到整个森林了Youwantedafamilytree,yougotyourselfawholeforest.这个黄石破火山口的模型ThismodeloftheYellowstoneCaldera能帮我想出灰人的计划willhelpmefigureouttheGreys,plan.我要在明天向将军讲述我的发现IhavetopresentmyfindingstotheGeneraltomorrow而我仍然不知道为何灰人想炸掉andIstilldonotknowwhytheGreyswanttoblowup超级火山thesupervolcano.若我能找到答案IfIcanfindtheanswer,我肯定能让海瑟刮目相看IbetitwillimpressHeather.不知道她的羽毛是否很软呢Iwonderifherfeathersaresoft糟糕，我又弄烂了Oh,s*t.Ididitagain!这就是艾丝塔说的事ThisiswhatAstawastalkingabout.单是想到她已干扰了我的工作Eventhinkingofherisinterruptingmywork.或许若我打给海瑟MaybeifIcallHeather并听她的声音，那会有帮助andhearhervoice,itwillhelp.就像我肚饿时会吃一块薯片1.ikewhenIamhungryandeatjustonepotatochip.好Yeah.你好，哈利Hello,Harry.不Oh,no.我是哈利范德史匹格医生DoctorHarryVanderspeiglespeaking.我是海瑟，你刚打给我吗It,sHeather.Youjustcalledme?没有是你打给我Nope.youcalledme.因为你打给我.Becauseyoucalledme.没关系，反正我也想打给你Ifsfine,Iwasgonnacallyou