IntheKnow《木偶新知（2024）》第一季第一集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

木偶新知主持人：劳伦卡斯皮安我的浴室里有一名无家可归的男子你今天做了件么呢#传递善心（如何帮一位男性友人预防尿路感染）（如何帮一位男性友人预防尿路感染而不是让他想尿就尿）（直播中）护士拉契特：肯凯西的小说飞越疯人院中的一个角色她是一个控制欲强、专♥制♥的护士马尔科姆艾克斯：美国黑人♥民♥权运动领袖哟有意思Oh,that'sinteresting.多说说Tellmemore.我觉得我想知道的是Iguesswhatmwonderingis-我是劳伦卡斯皮安您正在收听的是木偶新知mLaurenCaspian,andthisis"IntheKnow/1我是劳伦卡斯皮安您正在收听的是木偶新知mLaurenCaspian,andthisis"IntheKnow."你封神了You'reafuckinggod.那个无家可归的男人看着我Theunhousedmanlookedatme.死死地盯着我的眼睛说谢谢你Helookedmedeadintheeyes,andhesaid,thankyou.谢谢你承认了我的人性Thankyouforrecognizingmyhumanity而其他人都矢口否认whentherestoftheworldrefused.这话是流浪汉说的-他用眼神说的对Thehomelessguysaidthat?-Mm,withhiseyes,yes.他现在在录播室的洗手间里Andhe'sinthestudiobathroomrightnow?这是我力所能及的ItwastheleastIcoulddo.行吧节目顺利Okay.Well,haveagoodshow.卡尔我也不是什么大英雄啦Oh,Carl,mnohero.什么What?卡尔我真希望能像你崇拜我一样崇拜自己Oh,Carl,IwishIcouldseemyselfthewayyouseeme.卜尔这周六林曼努尔米兰达Oh,Carl,Saturday,Lin-ManuelMiranda's会在纽约客节上&hearts访&hearts诙自己interviewinghimselfatTheNewYorkerFestival.想让我带你去吗Wanttobemyplus-one?这周六我有朋友要来Uh,IhavefriendsintownSaturday.那就约下周末呗Well,let'shangoutnextweekend.then?他们下周末也在They'reherenextweekend,too.哎哟呵他们可真够烦人的JeezLouise.Theywon'tleaveyoualone.我想他们就是太孤单了1thinkthey'rejustlonely还听不出好赖话andhaveahardtimepickinguponsocialcues.我以前也做过流浪汉Iwashomelessonce.对66年的夏天我住在威尼斯海滩的Yeah,s-summerof'66,1livedunderapier码头卜面和吉姆莫里森一起inVeniceBeachwithJimMorrison.他那时成天暴打我H-heusedtobeattheshitoutofme.法比安早上好Ah,Fabian,gutenmorgen.今天别来沾边劳伦Don'tstartwithmetoday,Lauren.我刚在地铁上被袭击了Iwasjustattackedonthesubway.老天爷啊怎么回事GoodGod.Whathappened?有个傻/S♥的须后水再得我偏头痛都犯了Somemeathead'saftershavetriggeredoneofmymigraines.这国家对待神经敏感型人的态度Thewaythiscountrytreatstheneuro-sensitive让我想炸了身体浴家的店makesmewanttofirebombaBath&BodyWorks.准备好了五分钟后可以开始劳伦They'rereadytogoinfive,Lauren.你查了第一位嘉宾的资料吗Um,doyouhavetheresearchforthefirstguest?只写了白直女i矣Thisjustsays"straightwhitewoman."这概括得还不够明显吗Tellsyoueverythingyouneedtoknow.蔡斯实习生九点前得到Chase,internsaresupposedtogethereby9:00.我不是和你说过了吗We'vetalkedaboutthis.老哥我能来已经了不得了Dude,it,scrazyIevencamein.昨晚和我约的那对夫妻1.astnightthiscoupleIwasbanging不小心把我锁在了他们家的感官剥夺罐里accidentallylockedmeintheirhomesensory-deprivationtank,我特么尖叫了一整晚andIwasfrickin'screamingallnight.什么他们没听见吗What,theydidn,thearyou?他俩都是聋子一场电子音乐引发的意外They'rebothdeaf-Technoaccident.但他们还在做DJ太鼓舞人心了吧ButtheystillDJ,whichisinspiringasfuck.各位早上好准备好来一场精彩的节目了吗Goodmorning,everyone.Readytohaveagreatshow?巴布你知道我访谈前不喜欢Ugh,Barb,youknowIcan'thavemanagement管理层在我身边晃来晃去的hoveringovermebeforeinterviews.我最烦的就是好吃懒做的公♥司♥高层ThelastthingIneedissomecorporatefatcat在我耳边嗡嗡叫着“钱钱钱”了purring"money,money,money"inmyear.你的收入是我的两倍谟Youmaketwicemysalary.不是钱的事啊巴布It'snotallaboutmoney,Barb.好嘲节目开始Okay,showtime.唐老鸭老舅ScroogeMcDuck.婴儿潮女巫BoomerWitch.嗨我是劳伦Hi,thisisLauren.今天我们来深人聊聊美这个概念Todaywe'llbeunpackingtheideaofbeauty.我们的第一位嘉宾13岁就开始当模特Ourfirstguestbeganmodelingatjust13,证明在时尚产业provingthatinfashion,童工不仅仅存在于工厂中childlabordoesn'tjusthappenonthemanufacturingside.演员时尚女神疯狂的爱书之人Anactress,fashiongoddess,andfellowcrazedbook-slut,欢迎凯雅格伯做客木偶新知KaiaGerber,welcometo"IntheKnow."谢谢谢谢你们邀请我上节目Wow,Um,thankyou.Thankyouforhavingme.那我们来聊聊模特设下的不可能达到的1.et'stalkabouttheimpossiblebeautystandards美丽标准吧thatmodelsputforward.我大部分衣服都是1buymostofmyclothes”脆弱与威利”这个牌子的fromacompanycalledWeakandWiley,他们推出了一款毛衣腰部有内置支撑whichmakesasweaterwithabuilt-inlumbarsupport.但我看到他们产品图里Butmconstantlyturnedoff无法企及的帅气男模时byhowUnattainablybeautiful经常会觉得没有了购买♥♥欲望themalemodelisintheircatalog.你是觉得被误导了吗是这个问题吗Doyoufeelmisled?Isthat-Isthatwhattheissueis?我看产品图时会觉得Well,whenIlookatthecatalog,如果我穿上塑型内♥裤♥Ithink,ooh,ifIgetthatfairisle再穿上那件费尔岛毛衣withtheorthopedicSpanx,那我就能像产品图里的瓦迪姆一样帅了mgoingtolooklikeVadimfromthecatalog.可是之后我去了ButthenIgo社区超♥市♥在那里的tothefoodco-op,andIseemyselfreflected双向镜看到了自己他家最近安了双向镜intheirtwo-waymirror-Becausethere'sbeen因为最近小偷特别多说实话alotofshopliftingatthefoodco-op,tobehonest-我和瓦迪姆只能说毫无关系IlooknothinglikeVadim.我确实觉得这会误导人Idothinkitcanbemisleading.有的时候我看我自己的照片Ithinksometimesllseeaphotoofmyself都觉得那不像我自己andIdon'tevenfeellikeitlookslikeme.想象一下Soimaginethat.我希望我的访谈能像蹦床样Iliketotreatmyinterviewslikeatrampoline从一个话题弹到另一个话题andboingfromonesubjecttoanother.我准备好了-弹弹mready.-Boing,boing.以前会在秀场后台看书Whenyouusedtobringbookstoreadbackstage大家都很吃惊duringfashionshows,peopleweresurprised.你觉得是为什么呢Now,whydoyouthinkthatis?大家对模特有一个很普遍的误解There'saverycommonmisconception觉得我们智商不行aboutmodelsthatwe'renotintellectual.所以随便做点什么就能给别人留下好印象Soitdoesn'ttakeverymuchtoimpresspeople.大家对我也有同样的假设Ifoundthesameshadowassumptionwithme,他们预期我是聪明的whichistheyexpectmetobeintellectual,但不觉得我有敏锐的感官buttheydon'texpectmetobesensual.所以他们来到我家Andsothey'resurprised看到我的异国迪吉里杜管收藏时whentheycometomyhouseandseemycollection都很惊讶oferoticdidgeridoos.你为什么会收藏迪吉里杜管Whydoyouhavedidgeridoos?因为它们很有异域风情嘛Becauseofhowerotictheyare.对哦弹弹Right.-Boing.我想显得年轻些mtryingtolookyounger.你平时吃早餐吗Doyoueatbreakfast?我和你说春季学期我为Youknow,springsemesterImodeled一个人字拖品牌做了模特forthisflip-flopcompany,我爬上那男的的越野车后座wheredclimbinthebackofthisguy'sSUV,他给我穿着各种拖鞋的脚拍照andhe'dphotographmyfeetindifferentkindsofsandals.这个牌子超高端的It,sareallyexclusivebrand.他们没有实体店Theydon'thaveaphysicalstore没有产品册和网站只有那辆林肯领航员越野车oracatalogorawebsite-JustthatLincolnNavigator.你是想看我一整个癫痫大发作吗Doyouwanttoseemehaveafull-blownseizure?什么What?我要吃14天的鸡蛋减肥谟monthe14-dayeggdiet.詹姆斯凯恩为了ThisishowJamesCaangotinshape鬼马双警减肥时就是这么吃的for"FreebieandtheBean."给我扔掉Getridofit.等着我哦Waitforme.用现行的奇怪标准挑选模特Wouldn'titbebetterifinsteadofchoosingmodels说实话这么挑出来的大部分模特usingthecurrentbizarrecriteria,都像是来自恐怖外太空的外星人which,frankly,meansmostofthemlook要是随机选人会不会更好呢likeliteralaliensfromscaryspace,就像选陪审员一样wejustchosepeopleatrandomlikejuryduty.我同意这方面确实值得探索Iagree.Idothinkthat'sworthexploring.肯定会让模特这一行变得有趣的Itwoulddefinitelymakeitinteresting.想象一个体毛浓密的老男人Imagineahairyoldman穿着硕大的巴黎世家鞋子inenormousBalenciagashoes,一个刚做完牙科手术的afemalepipefitter女管道工笑意盈盈地穿着唐纳卡兰的新款whojusthaddentalsurgerysmizinginthenewDonnaKaran.这多么别开生面呀完全同意Wouldn'tthatberefreshing?-Completely,yes.我觉得我们俩聊得很顺畅AndbecauseIfeellikewe'reinaflow你也赞同我的观点whereyou'reagreeingwithme,不知道你介不介意我吐槽一下男性凝视的暴♥力♥一面wouldyoumindifIrantabouttheviolenceofthemalegaze?不介意我很愿意听听Yeah,Iwouldlovetohearit.你可以时不时地打断我Andfeelfreetoperiodicallychimein说赞成或者棒棒哒andsay,amen,or,goOffqueen,你觉得怎么自然就怎么来whateverfeelsnatural.好的Right,okay.那我就开始了HereIgo.男人不想要这些整过容的林黛玉Mendon'twanttheseplasticwaifs.我们想要的是一个体能与自己相似的伴侣Wewantaphysicallydominantversionofourselves.我们想要一个背着毛织单肩包的女人Wewantawomanwithabigwoollyshoulderbag她有新冠后遗症身上散发着鹰嘴豆泥和咖啡的味道andlongCOVID,whosmellslikehummusandcoffee戴着的耳环像性感小风铃andhasearringsthataresexylittlewindchimes.同意Amen.非常幸运我们生活在Weareallfortunatetoliveinatime-这本书讲什么的Whafsthatoneabout?一家科学家被时空海盗绑♥架♥的故事Oh,afamilyofscientistsarekidnappedbytimepirates.其实这是基于狭义相对论的一个真实理论It,sactuallybasedonarealtheoryofspecialrelativity.听起来很有意思Ooh,thatsoundsinteresting.我在读另一本讲新斯科舍寡妇的小说mreadinganothernovelaboutthewidowsofNovaScotia.嘿你丈夫的谋杀案Hey,hastherebeenanyprogress有进展了吗inyourhusband'smurdercase?我不想去打扰警方Oh,I-Idon,twanttopesterthepolice.他们估计在忙着筹备They'reprobablybusy圣帕特里克节的游♥行♥呢preppingfortheSt.Patrick'sDayParade.戴尔以前最喜欢游♥行♥了Dalelovedparades.你是怎么学会穿高跟鞋走路的Howdidyoulearntowalkinheels?我上过课这是真的Iactuallytooklessons,andthatisatruestory.你还记得关键要领吗Doyourememberthekeylesson?记得不要晃屁♥股♥Yes.Don'tswayyourhips.我可做不到That'simpossibleforme,我的骨盆生来就很会扭becauseIhaveanaturallysassypelvis.我也是这是个问题SodoI,anditprovedtobeanissue.你说过不喜欢别人问你Now,you'vesaidyoudon,tenjoygettingasked一些简单的问题比如你包里有哪三样东西basicquestionslike,"Whatarethreeitemsinyourpurse?"那我想问问凯雅你做过的最丢脸的Sollask,Kaia,whathaveyoudonethatnobodyknows但没人知道的事情是什么thatyouaremostashamedof?请说得具体一点具体到让我尴尬Andpleasebeuncomfortablyspecific.我的-这是一个安全的空间Oh,my-Thisisasafespace.安全的空间Safespace.我包里的三样东西是Um,thethreeitemsinmypurse,uh,are-你女儿不是还申请过这里的实习吗Didn'tyourdaughtertrytogetaninternshiphere?对她真的很喜欢新闻业Yeah.Shereallylovesjournalism.结果这家伙拿到了-14Andthenthisdudegotit?-14.是啊据说他在被佛州州立大学Yeah,supposedlyhisparentsmadethisbiggift学术留校察看之后toNPRafterhewasputonacademicprobation父母给NPR送了一份大礼atFloridaState.太恶了-哇哦Thatstinks.-Whoo!没事贝丝能理解的Oh,Bethunderstands.你在洗澡时是什么样子What'syourrelationshiptoshowers?我喜欢边洗澡边哭Ilovecryingintheshower.因为你分不清什么是泪什么是水Whenyoudon'tknowwhat'stearsandwhat'swater,这是最爱做的事之一that'soneofmyfavoritethings.就像在浴缸里撒尿分不清什么是什么It,slikepeeinginthebath.Youcan'ttellwhat'swhat.好的吧Okay.你刚提到卫生间这很有意思Youknow,it,sfunnyyoubroughtupbathrooms.我一般不怎么聊自己的街头见闻I-Idon,tnormallytalkaboutmystreetactivism,但我今早邀请一位流浪汉butthismorningIinvitedanunhousedman来我们演播室用洗手间touseourstudiorestroom.太棒了Great.我是不是该鼓个劲儿-是啊鼓劲儿吧ShouldIgooff?-Yes,gooff.谁鼓劲儿Gooffwho?女王鼓劲儿Gooff,queen.弹弹弹你喜欢葬礼吗Boing.Doyoulikefunerals?不喜欢No.咱们洗手间有人在用吗Istheresomeoneinourrestroomrightnow?所以大家觉得怎么样Oh,sowhatdideverybodythink?太棒了是啊Amazing.-Mm,yeah.我自己也是个健身狂mabitofahealthfreakmyself.我一周两次去青年宫做水疗Twiceaweek,IdowaterreikidownattheY.对健身课超赞的Yeah.Workoutclassesslap.不是上课It,snotaclass.是我在泳池里对大家做些什么It,sjustsomethingIdotopeopleinthepool.你觉得访谈如何法比安小姐Andwhatdidyouthinkoftheinterview,MissFabian?两个骨瘦如柴的自恋狂进行的场五音不全的二重唱"Atone-deafduetbytwoskeletalnarcissists,重音在自恋上#抵&1102115；制♥木偶新知emphasisonthe,cis,'#CanCelInTheKnoW.”你是用官方节目账号♥发的吗Didyoutweetthatfromtheofficialshowaccount?是的Yeah.很棒的访谈劳伦-不多亏了大家Greatinterview,Lauren.-No,it'sateameffort.我只不过充当了大家长mmerelythebigdaddy.对了我还想告诉大家Oh,Ialsowantedtoleteveryoneknow那个流浪汉还在我们卫生间thatthathomelessgentlemanisstillinthebathroom.哦芭布-嗯Oh,Barb.-Huh?这属于仇恨词汇Thatishatespeech.他只是个无家可归者Heisanunhousedperson.实际上最好用Actually,thepreferredtermis”居无定所者”来描述"personwhoiscurrentlywithouthousing."我不这么想No,Idon'tthinkso.你确定吗-是的Areyousure?-Yes.对不起了Oh,msorry.我也很同情他的处境mreallyveryempathetictotheman'ssituation.我还在流浪汉收♥容♥所♥做过志愿者Ivolunteeratahomelessshelter"不对是无家可归者收♥容♥所♥Ah,ah,no,youvolunteeratanunhousedshelter.不是为居无定所者提供的庇护所Ashelterforpersonscurrentlywithouthousing.那这么说好绕口啊Well,itjustfeelsveryclunky.不好意思尊重一下弱势群体Oh,msorry,isittooinconvenient对你来说就那公不方便吗totreatvulnerablepopulationswithrespect?你怎么敢的Howdareyou?我90年代就开始用因纽特人这个词了IwasusingthetermInuitbackinthe'90s.我再学会拼自己名字之前I'vebeenspelling,womyn"withaY就把“女人“拼成"女Y人”了sincebeforeIcouldspellmyname.总之他要是不走这层的所有员工Eitherway,untilheleaves,everyoneonthefloor都要走到街那头去星巴克上厕所了willhavetousetheStarbucksdownthestreet也许这能让我们反思一下Andmaybethatwillteachus这个国家厕所严重不足的问题aboutthelackofwaterclosetsinthiscountry.我可以提醒一下大家吗这里是公共广播MayIremindyouallthatthisispublicradio?让我们用尿尿和其他不堪启齿的屎尿屁1.etusurinateanddoallotherwashroom"shamefuls"来声援我们无家可归的兄弟姐妹吧insolidaritywithourunhousedbrothersandsisters.居无定所的兄弟姐妹Brothers,sisters,andnonbinarysiblings和非二元兄弟姐妹-够了currentlywithouthousing.-Goddamnit!我为你们骄傲mproudofyouall.我们憋的不止是尿Wearen'tjustholdingoururine,也为这些被世界遗忘的离经叛道者we'reholdingspacefortheforgotten憋出了一片宝贵的空间andsupposedlyhideousamongus.咱们得新找一个We'regoingtohavetofind能尿尿的地方anewplacetotakealeak.那家星巴克气场不太行ThatStarbuckshasbadvibes.什么意思Whatdoesthatmean?他们指控桑迪偷了个鸡蛋TheyaccusedSandyofstealinganegg.你真偷了个鸡蛋吗Didyoustealanegg?桑迪Sandy?经理说再也不接待Themanagersaid公共广播台的人了-真棒nomorepublic-radiopeople.-Great.再往下走八个街区还有一家星巴克There'sanotherStarbuckseightblocksfurtherdown.去那里尿啊不你先去吧Goforit.-No,yougo.我不想让你再染上男性尿路感染Idon'twantyougettinganothermen'sUTI.哦谢谢了芭布Oh.Thanks,Barb.我去给卫生间那人拿个三明治llgettheguyinthebathroomasandwich.不卡尔我知道你想尽力帮忙No,Carl,I-Iknowyou'retryingtodowhat'sbest,但我们不能自以为是向他施舍butwecan'tpresumetoknowwhatthismanwants.我可以去问问他Icouldaskhim.他并没有义务告诉我们Oh,soit'sthisman'sresponsibility居无定所者toteachuswhatpersonscurrentlywithouthousing现在喜欢吃什么liketoeat?学学习吧芭布Dothework,Barb.我可以给他钱我去Icouldgivehimmoney.-JesusChri-芭布你开口闭口怎么总是钱Imean,Barb,whatisthiscravenobsessionwithmoney?你还在纳闷为什么自己很痛苦？Andyouwonderwhyyou'remiserable.总的说来我过得挺开心mprettyhappy,allthingsconsidered.我15分钟后回来llbebackin15.卡尔抱歉我们得录桑迪那段了Uh,Carl,msorry,butweneedtotapeSandy,ssegment不然赶不上进度了ifwewanttostayonschedule.你能留下来吗-劳伦Canyoustay?-Lauren.没关系芭布我还撑得住It,sokay,Barb.llmanage.看到没女士们先生们Andthat,ladiesandgentlemen,所以卡尔才是我最好的朋友iswhyCarlandIarebestfriends.节Fl快乐电影行家们Season'sgreetings,moviemavens.欢迎收听这一♥期♥的坦诚文化It,stimeforanothereditionof"CandidCulture/'我是你们的主持人桑迪库特withme,SandyCooter.你去上厕所吧我可以替你Ifyouneedtogo,Icancover.我没事mokay.我只要努力不去想这事就行IthelpsifIfocusonsomethingelse.今天我将分享给大家Todayllbesharingmyviews我对安德鲁萨姆伯格的棕檎泉的看法ontheAndrewSambergromp,"PalmSprings."你不是让他多评评最近的电影吗Didn'tyoutellhimtoreviewmorerecentmovies?他说他看电影时喜欢一次关着声音看Hesayshelikestowatchafilmoncewiththesoundoff一次闭着眼睛看然后等上两年andoncewithhiseyesclosedandthenwaittwoyears让他的感受“像克里奥尔秋葵汤一样小火发酵”forhisideasto"simmerlikeacreolegumbo."恐怕萨姆伯格先生的才华I-mafraidMr.Samberg'stalents更适合去拍盒中迪克这样的小品arebettersuitedforskitssuchas"DickinaBox,"我喜欢这样的电影而不是那种大制♥作♥的电影whichIloved,thanamajormotionpicture.让我不禁想到像迪克格雷格里这样的天才演员ThemindspinstothinkwhatatalentlikeDickGregory才可以胜任这样的角色couldhavedonewitharolelikethis.我们想念你迪克真希望在盒子里的不是你Wemissyou,Dick.Wewishyouweren'tinabox.要想严肃地谈论美丽Youcan'thaveaseriousconversationaboutbeauty就要请来美国最权威的专家withoutAmerica'sforemostexpert.粉雄救兵的明星之一Oneofthestarsof"QueerEye,"他是位美发专家故事作家they'reahairguru,araconteur,他自称是“同性恋群体中的马尔科姆艾克斯”andself-described"MalcolmXofthegaycommunity."乔纳森凡内斯欢迎来到“木偶新知”JonathanVanNess,welcometo"IntheKnow."嗯自称是同性恋群体的马尔科姆,艾克斯Um,"self-describedMalcolmXofthegaycommunity"?是我们的研究员法比安说的That'swhatourresearcherFabiansaid.不对吗Isthatincorrect?我更喜欢被叫做天后I-Itypicallygofor,like,adiva.比如说我是惠特尼是泰勒Giveme,like,aWhitney.GivemeaTaylor.是牛姐GivemeaMariah.还从没有人把我称作vejustneverbeendescribed马尔科姆艾克斯但我挺着迷的ofaMalcolmXofanythingbefore,butmobsessed.乔纳森我喜欢你在粉雄救兵的一点是Jonathan,whatIloveaboutyourshow"QueerEye"你是在进行正当的报复吗isthatyou'retakingrightfulrevenge你通过抹去异性恋的身份对异性恋进行合理报复againstheterosexualsocietybyerasingstraightidentities.这是一个反向的转换阵营It'ssortofaconversioncampinreverse,由五位体格强健的人aphysicallyimposingfive-personplatoon以不及掩耳之势冲进了异性恋的家thundersintothehetero'shome告诉他们要是这辈子不改变自己andtellsthemtochangeeverythingaboutthemselves,就永远不会有人爱我觉得这太棒了orthey'llneverbeloved,andIthinkit'sjustwonderful.是啊我们把拳击那段剪掉了Yeah,weactuallyeditouttheboxingmatches.对其实我们做的1.ike,weactually-wealso-没错我们确实那么做No,wedothat.他们要是适应得不够快1.ike,iftheydon'tconformfastenough,我们会在镜头之外把他们揍得屁滚尿流like,wegooffcamera,andwejustbeattheshitoutofthem,我们五人齐上阵allfiveofus.你有没有去过那些脏到