ResidentAlien《外星居民（2021）》第三季第六集完整中英文对照剧本.docx
外星居民第三季第六集如海星沙蚕水蚯蚓河蚌等present一词多义直译为你想在你办公室里见到我冰淇淋装饰这些信息都是真的吗谁杀了彼得巴♥赫♥主要嫌疑人外星居民前情提要Previouslyon"ResidentAlien".哈里才不能和那只鸟约会Harrycan'tdatethatbird.他应该拯救地球HeshouldbesavingtheEarth.传送门已经修好了-对Theportalisfixed.-Yeah.我们要搬去她的母星啦Wearemovingtoherhomeplanet.有些人发现皮肤里有小芯片Somepeoplefindchipsintheirskin那是外星人用于追踪的装置thataliensuseasatrackingdevice.副警长你手里的是什么Whatdowegothere,Deputy?有人在车站旁发现的Someonefounditnearthebusstop.我打算检查一下然后去找失主I'llgothroughitandseewhoitbelongsto.你永远不会明白像我和海瑟这样的爱情YouwillneverknowalovelikeHeatherandI.我们不像人类样喜欢瞒着对方Wedonotkeepsecretsfromoneanotherlikehumansdo.你要帮我们获取哈里的外星DNAYouaregonnahelpusgetHarry,salienDNA.你要离开地球Youwillleavetheplanet,再也不见哈里andyouwillneverseehimagain.那是什么鬼Whatthehellisthat?发现小灰人的计划AfterdiscoveringtheGreys'plan是改变地球大气层之后tochangetheEarth'satmosphere,我也制定了自己的计划1havedevisedaplanofmyown.我准备做个炸♥弹♥把小灰人的飞船炸毁IambuildingabombthatcandestroytheGreys'spaceship.然后他们愚蠢又美丽的混血小灰人们Andthentheirstupid,beautifulhybrids就不得不留在地球找工作willbestuckhereandhavetogetjobs只能当私教或者场边记者aspersonaltrainersandsidelinereporters.出事了Somethingiswrong.我的血糖低得要死了Mybloodsugarisdangerouslylow.一旦将军拿到炸♥弹♥任务就交给她完成Oncethegeneralhasthebomb,shecanfinishthemission,我便可以着手于我的新计划andIcanembarkonmynewone.离开地球和海瑟共度余生leavingtheplanetandspendingtherestofmylifewithHeather.早上好我美丽的天堂鸟Goodmorning,mybeautifulbirdofparadise.让我给你做顿美味早餐吧CanImakeyouanicebreakfast,hmm?我有一大碗的蠕虫和昆虫Ihaveabowlofwormsandinsects.或者冰箱里还有一只水生无脊椎动物Orthereisalsostilloneaquaticinvertebrateinthefridge.不用了Oh,that'sOK.我我其实不是很饿m.mnotreallyhungry.好吧不过我OK.Well,I.也可以.帮你嚼碎could,uh,chewitup.再反刍到你嘴里Regurgitateitbackinyourmouth.你真好但还是算了谢谢That'sreallysweet,butno,thanks.我想是我没睡好IthinkthatI.Ididn'treallysleepwell.你在酒店为我做的巢更舒服Yourhumanbedisnotascomfortableasthenest人类的床还是比不上youmademeatthehotel.那我今天就给你做一个新的巢ThenIwillmakeyouanewnesttoday.我去镇里Iwillgointotown,收集一些小枝细绳还有毛发andIwillgathertwigsandstringandsomehair.不哈里你已经为我做了很多了No,Harry,you,vealreadydonetoomuch.我想为你做点什么Iwanttodosomethingforyou.翅交吗Awingjob?比那还要好Somethingevenbetter.不过你得先变身First,Ineedyoutochange.你的鲍真的不清不行了Yourgillsdefinitelyneededacleaning.别的地方也有很多要清呢There'smorewherethatcamefrom.你喜欢这样吗Youlikethis?好喜欢Yes,Ido.找到一个可以在她面前做自己的人真是太好了Oh,itissonicetofindsomeoneyoucanbeyourselfwith.所有事都能开诚布公Justleaveeverythingoutintheopen.没有秘密Nosecrets.是啊Yeah.亲爰的你的脑袋在乱动Mylove,yourheadisbobbing.你有什么心事吗Istheresomethingonyourmind?真奇怪没有啊Weird.Uh,no.什么事都没有Nothingatall.绝对没有隐藏什么Definitelynothingtohide.我很肯定That'sforsure.你可以再大力一点Youcangoharder.我喜欢痛痛的Ilikethepain.看来还是要想个安全词Wemightneedasafeword.你在这干什么Whatareyoudoingouthere?我晚班所以Iworkedlate,so.回家路上太累了就停下来睡着了Igottiredonmywayhome,pulledover.这边不顺你家路啊Myhouseisn'tonyourwayhome.被你看穿了Yougotme.我就是过来看看你好不好Ijustcamebytomakesureyou'redoingOK.然后在这睡了一晚上Andyousleptouthere?你怎么上厕所的啊Imean,howdidyouevenusethebathroom?等下Wait.这跟你那晚说的外星人的事情肴美呜Isthisaboutthealienstuffthatyousaidtheothernight?外星人Aliens?发什么神经That'scrazy.不是啦我就是来看看你No,Ijust.checkinguponyou.要是这样可以防范外星人也挺好的Ifthatkeepsaliensaway,thengreat.我没有被外星人绑♥架♥过Iwasnotabductedbyaliens,往凯特出来之前你赶紧问家吧soyouneedtogohomebeforeKatecomesout免得她问长问短好吧andstartsaskingquestions.-Fine.你能帮我把水瓶扔了吗Hey,wouldyoutossmywaterbottleforme?你往里面撒尿了吗Didyoupissinit?你心知肚明YouknowIdid.挺满的闻着一股尿味Prettyfull.Smellslikepee-pee.你扔还是不扔嘛Wouldyouthrowitout,yesorno?不要-就扔一下No.-Giveitatoss.一瓶都是尿欺It,sfullofurine.真走啦Really?尿而已嘛It'sjustpee.爱你哟1.oveya.真可爱1.ovely.总算回来了Thereyouare.别告诉我你又在本和凯特的房♥子外看守了一夜TellmeyoudidnotspendanothernightguardingBenandKate,shouse.嗯但他发现我了Yeah,buthecaughtme,不能继续这么做了socan'tdothatagain.今晚我会带上望远镜TonightI'llhavetobringbinoculars把车停在街尾从那边远观andparkupthestreet,watchfromthere.你打算怎么办What'stheplanhere?假如你看到他被绑♥架♥了1.et'ssayyouwitnessanabduction.你打算怎么救他Howexactlyareyougonnastopit?用棒球棍Baseballbat.我在网上看过小灰人的图片了veseenpicturesofGreysontheinternet.他们脖子很长我一挥棒就能正中他们的头Theirlongnecks,theirheadsarejustrightinmystrikezone.不是我抱怨Nottocomplain,butwoulditkillJay但是杰伊偶尔洗一下碗会死吗towashadishonceinawhile?听起来就是抱怨Thatsoundslikecomplaining.我明白她是你女儿Iknow.She'syourdaughter,所以完全能理解她为什么不打扫andthatactuallyexplainswhyshedoesn'tclean.但到处都是她的东西Butherstuffiseverywhere.沙发床永远是打开的Pulloutcouch,alwaysopen.我的树镣酸奶又不见了Oh,myraspberryyogurt'sgoneagain.真令人震惊呢Bigsurprise.你昨天吃完的是的Youfinishedthatyesterday.-Yeah.因为我知道如果我不吃杰伊就会吃掉BecauseIknewifIdidn't,Jaywouldeatit.好吧Fine.我会给你买♥♥酸奶还会打扫的llbuyyoumoreyogurtandclean.满意了吗Happy?没有No.这些应该由杰伊去做的)ayshouldbedoingthat.听着我和杰伊现在相处得很好1.ook,thingsarereallygoodbetweenJayandIrightnow,我不想破坏这一切andIdon'twanttorocktheboat.而且我们还有更严重的事要担心Besides,wehavebiggerthingstoworryabout,比如如何阻止哈里跟海瑟一起离开likehowtokeepHarryfromleavingwithHeather.杰伊是我们最不需要担心Jayseemsliketheleastofour.还好吗家人们Sup,fam?顺便说下你们没有牛奶了You'reoutofmilk,FYI.你说杰伊是我们最不需要-别烦我Jay'stheleastofour.youweresaying?-Leavemealone.没什么比好好清理一次鳏Nothinglikeagoodgillexcavation更能让你觉得焕然一新的了tomakeyoufeelnewagain.我应该怎么感谢你呢WhatcanIdotothankyou?你不用谢我Youdon'tneedtothankme.我不值得Idon'tdeserveit.你值得一切Youdeserveeverything.所以我要做完这个炸♥弹♥ThatiswhyIwillfinishthisbomb,然后我们就可以远走高飞不再回头sothatwecanleaveandwecanneverlookback.我等不及要去看你的星球了Icannotwaittoseeyourplanet.你的朋友们会接受Willyourfriendsaccept你在跟一个没翅膀的外星人约会吗thatyouaredatinganun-wingedalien?先不说未来了吧1.et'snottalkaboutthefuture.我们就.就谈谈现在吧1.et'sjust.let'sjusttalkaboutthepresent因为“现在“很特别becauseit'ssospecial.我觉得这就是他们把这一刻叫做“现在”的原因Youknow,Ithinkthat'swhytheycallitthepresent,因为这是个“礼物”'causeit,sapresent.这提醒了我我给你写了一首新诗Thatremindsme,Iwroteyoua.anewpoem.真的吗我很喜欢你写的诗Youdid?Iloveyourpoems.但别读给我听Butdon'treadittome.立刻停下别读出来Stoprightthereanddonotreadit,因为我要去倒垃圾becausemgonnatakethisout,如果我没有马上回来的话andifIdon'tcomerightback,是因为我出去买♥&hearts厂烟了that,sjustbecauseIranouttogetcigarettes.但你甚至不吸烟Butyoudonotevensmoke.我好爱你尝试新事物的样子Ilovethatyoutrynewthings.这肯定就是真爱的模样Thismustbewhattrueloveislike.当你的爱人离开了Whenyourloverleaves,你感觉好像不会再见到他们了youfeellikeyouwillneverseethemagain.从她飞速驶出车道的声音中Andthesoundofhertirespeelingoutofmydriveway,我能听出来她迫不及待想回到我身边Icantellsheisinahurrytocomebacktome.给黛布拉Hereyougo,Debra.警长早安Morning,Sheriff.副警长你好Hey,Deputy.你有没有感觉过Hey,doyouevergetthefeelinglike.被人跟踪了likeyou'rebeingfollowed?现在就有Rightnowcomestomind.昨晚我感觉有人在跟踪我1.astnight,Ifeltsomeonefollowingme.所以今早我换了一条路线Sothismorning,Ichangedupmyroute,但我觉得那个混♥蛋♥约瑟夫还在跟踪我butIthinkthatsonofabitchJosephisstillonmytail.你知道这意味着什么吗Youknowwhatthismeans,don'tyou?我们的调查方向是对的We'reontherighttrackwithourinvestigation.我们的调查不Ourinvestigation?No.我告诉过你一旦我参与了就会有人受伤Itoldyou,whenIgetinvolved,peoplegethurt.我不干了mdone.什么What?我以为你只是需要一些时间Ithoughtyoujustneededtime.我不需要时间Idon'tneedtime.我需要距离Ineeddistance.休息一段时间能帮你更清晰地看待事情副警长Takingtimehelpsyouseethingsmoreclearly,Deputy.你知道吗克莱图斯有次尿在我床上了Hey,youknow,Cletuspeedinmybedonce,right?我很生气但我把它扔了吗Now,Igotmad,butdidIgetridofhim?没有No.我认真思考了一段时间Itooksometimetoreflect然后想出了正确的做法andfindtherightmove.于是我去它的狗狗床上尿尿SothenIwentandpeedinhislittledoggybed,然后对它说“你喜欢这样吗”and1saidtohim,"Now,howdoyoulikeitnow?"它就是这么学习的That'showhelearns.它们对你尿尿你就对它们尿尿Theypeeonyou,youpeeonthem.我可不想想着它闻尿mnotgonnarubhisnoseinit.那样太残忍♥了That,djustbecruel.强迫我听这个故事才叫残忍♥Notmorecruelthanmelisteningtothisstory.我得跟你们说件事情Ineedtotalktoyouguysaboutsomething.我最近收到了一些针对警♥察♥局的投诉IhavehadsomecomplaintsregardingtheSheriffsDepartment.我告诉过你设立意见箱Itoldyouitwasaterribleidea是个糟糕的想法toputupthatsuggestionbox.是的你放在意见箱里的那个Yes,Igotthatfromthenoteyouputinthesuggestionbox叫我撤掉意见箱的纸条写得很清楚了tellingmetotakedownthesuggestionbox.某些选民似乎对于Itseemscertainconstituents他们上交的税款被浪费在aren'thappyabouttheirtaxpayerdollars调查外星人相关事务上感到不满beingwastedinvestigatingalien-relatedmatters.就如何使用税款这事Taxpayersshouldn'thaveasay纳税人不应该有发言杈inhowtheirtaxdollarsarespent.那是无政♥府♥主义That'sanarchy.但有些人把这叫做民♥主♥Well,somepeoplecallitdemocracy.没错Exactly.这是个自♥l±l♥的国度Thisisafreecountry.人们想的话可以去找外星人Peoplecanlookforaliensiftheywant,或者去森林里找仙女orsearchtheforestforfairies,即使他们只找到一只eveniftheyonlyfindasmallfrog住在老旧猎枪弹壳里的小青蛙livinginanoldshotgunshell.你说某些人要投诉我们Yousaidcertainpeoplearelodgingcomplaints.我想知道是谁Iwanttoknowwho.我无权奉告Iamnotatlibertytosay.嗨警长Hi,Sheriff.奶奶Nana.谢谢你跟我谈话镇长Thankyou,Mayor,forourlittletalk.拜托丽芙Oh,comeon,Liv.你的裤子都有折痕了Howdoyouexpectpeopletotakeyouseriously还怎么指望别人会认真对待你withthatcreaseinyourbritches?她说对了She'sright.我裤子上确实有个折痕Idohaveacrease.她是怎么看见的Howdidsheseethat?警长请来我办公室一趟Sheriffdliketoseeyouinmyoffice.好的警长请坐Allright,Sheriffhavea.seat.我叫你去我办公室Iaskedtoseeyouinmyoffice.不你说No,yousaid请我去你办公室一趟you'dliketoseemeinyouroffice.我也不怪你AndIdon'tblameyou.毕竟我可是男子气概的雕像Hell,mastatueofmasculinity.如果我在你办公室里可能你每天早上走进来IfIwasinyouroffice,you'dprobablywalkin都会说该死这就是我想成为的样子”everymorningandsay,"Damn,now,that'swhatIwanttobe."如果你是我办公室里的雕像Ifyouwereastatueinmyoffice,我只会想把外套挂你身上dhangmyjacketonyou.那IE好啊毕竟雕像是金属做的dwantyouto,becausedbemadeoutofmetal,anddbecold.我会冷的看到没See?就算当雕像我还是能得偿所愿Evenasastatueman,IstillgetwhatIwant.好了事情是这样的OK,here'sthething.有人看见你和丽芙穿着便衣YouandLivhavebeenseenaroundtown在镇上四处窥探调查着什么snoopinginplainclothes,investigatingsomething.更不用说你之前极力恳求我Nottomention,youknow,howyoupracticallybeggedme招个新的副警长结果他走了foranewdeputy,butnowhe'sgone,你又一直没找接任者andyouhaven'tevenreplacedhim?到底出什么事了Whatisgoingon?你为什么这么鬼鬼祟祟的Whyareyoubeingsosecretive?你为什么这么问东问西的Whyareyoubeingsoinquisitive?因为我有权知道BecauseIhavearighttoknow.这是我治下的小镇-哦是吗Thisismytown.-Oh,really?显然你不知道城镇是如何运作的Youobviouslydon'tknowhowtownswork.你看过西部片吗YoueverseeaWestern?都是警长来说It,stheSheriffthatsays,"You'reinmytownnow,"“你现在在我治下的小镇”而不是镇长说notthemayor.你车上写了“镇长”两个大字吗Doyoudriveacarthathas"mayor"writtenonit?有写啊Yes,Ido.写了吗-真写了Youdo?-Yes.有时候车脏了Sometimeswhenit'sdirty,麦克斯会在车商上写“镇长”Maxwrites"mayor"inthewindow,而镇长的意思andthat'smayor,就是说“愿你的asin"mayyour.小镇如果有了麻烦"town,ifitisintrouble,我会是那个出面解决的人”Iwillbetheonetofixit."你车门上可能印了”警长这两个字Youmayhavetheword"sheriffonyourcardoor.但“霍桑”这两个字已经刻在了butthename"Hawthorne"isprinted这座小镇的灵魂上onthesoulofthistown.是啊就像那条有毒的“霍桑溪”Right.Likethatpoisoncreek.别提那条小溪了Forgetaboutthecreek.正准备改名字呢That'sbeingrenamed.我不明白你为什么这样1don'tknowwhyyou'rebeinglikethis.我们以前可是好搭档Youknow,weusedtobelikepartners.我们俩可从来都不是搭档Wewereneverpartners.我们各自行使着不同的职权Weoperateunderasplitformofgovernment,就像马达加斯加或者东帝汶likeMadagascarorEastTimor,由两个领导者分权管理明白吗withtwoleaderssharingseparatepowers,OK?现在如果你不介意的话我还有工作要做呢Now,ifyoudon,tmind,Igotworktodo.人类通过彼此建立联♥系♥而繁荣发展Humansthriveonformingconnectionstoeachother.可当这种联♥系♥被打破Butwhenthatconnectionisbroken,就会感觉脱离正轨无所适从itmakesthemfeeluntethered.他们不喜欢这样Theydonotlikethat.我也开始有这样的感觉ThatishowIamstartingtofeel.海瑟已经离开两个小时rHeatherhasbeengonefortwohours,我脑7里全是在想要是她遇害怎么办andallIcanthinkofis,whatifsheishurt?要是她被拔了毛拿去做枕头Whatifshehasbeenpluckedandstuffedintoapillow或者保暖轻便外套怎么办orcozylightweightjacket?你好啊Hello.1射谢Thankyou.”哈里如果你读到这张字条"Harry,ifyou,rereadingthis,说明你已经见到我的朋友阿洛了"thenyou,vemetmyfriendArlo.我要独自离开地球了”-不mleavingtheplanetwithoutyou."-No.“别来找我"Don'tlookforme.顺便麻烦给阿洛喂点麦片吃"AndpleasegiveArlosomecereal,如果你不介意的话”ifyoudon'tmind."这不可能啊Thiscannotbe.“我怎么知道这真的是你写的"HowdoIknowthisisreallyyou?而且我的麦片吃完了”Also,Iamoutofcereal."好了去吧OK,thereyougo.飞得真快啊Oh,sofast你回来啦You'reback.“真的是我"Yes,it'sreallyme.不然还有谁会给你飞鸽传书"Whoelsewouldsendanotebypigeon?备注阿洛也喜欢吃饼干”PS,Arloalsoenjoysanicecracker."“为什么"Why?发生什么事了"Whathashappened?而且阿洛不喜欢吃我的饼干“Also,Arlowouldnoteatmycrackers.它不吃胡椒味的”Theywerethepepperkind."海瑟Heather.我们不能再这样传纸条联♥系♥了Wecan'tkeepdoingthenotes.这对阿洛不公平It,snotfairtoArlo.它快累趴F了He'sfreakin'exhausted.亲爰的你回来了Mylove,youcameback.不哈里我们结束:了No,Harry,it'sover.你说什么What?为什么啊Butwhy?因为我并不爱你BecauseIdon'tloveyou.我从没爱过你不Ineverdid.-No.我不信Idon'tbelieveyou.Ah!0w.为什么Why?0w.我感觉我的心快停止跳动了1thinkmyheartisstopping.并没有It'snot心是宇宙中唯一Heartsaretheonlythingintheuniverse破碎后还能运转的东西thatworkevenaftertheybreak.关于心这一点真是烂透了It,sthethingthatsucksabouthearts.你怎么知道的Howdoyouknowthat?是因为你也在心碎吗Isitbecauseyourheartisbreakingtoo?不我的心没事No.Myheart'sfine.好好的Feelsgreat.你不能就这样夺走我们的爱Well,youcannottakeourlove.它不只是属于你Itisnotjustyours.它也属于我Itisalsomine.抱歉我得走了msorry,Ihavetogo.等等我No,wait,I.我写“,写了首诗要念给你听Ihavea.apoemtoreadyou.你必须得听Youhavetolisten.这首诗叫做永远在一起Itistitled"ForeverTogether."“天啊我止不住微笑”"Boy,Ijustcan'tstopsmiling."行了我不想再听了No,Ican'tdothis.我不想再听了Icannotdothis.再Good.再什么啊Goodwhat?三t."Good"?"好家伙我爱你”"Goodness,Iloveyou.""好消息我是开玩笑的”"GoodthingIwasjoking.",再见,，"Bye."“再见”"Goodbye."为什么Why?为什么Why?为什么Why?逮到你了混♥蛋♥Gotyou,sonofabitch.等等你不是约瑟夫Wait,you,renotJoseph.我我是特洛伊l.mTroy.特洛伊Troy?你是莉娜的儿子吗AreyouLena'sson?我就是好奇Iwasjustcurious.想见见我妈交往的对象Iwantedtoseetheguymymomwasdating.听着孩子你不能黑灯造火的跟踪别人Comeon,son.Youcan'tbefollowingpeoplearoundinthedark,好吗很危险allright?It,sdangerous.你放松我们没在一起只是同事关系Andyoucanrelax.We'renotdating.We,rejustcolleagues.她谈起你的方式Shedoesn'ttalkaboutherothercolleagues和谈起别的同事不一样thewayshetalksaboutyou.她谈论我Shetalksaboutme?我偶然听到她跟纳亚阿姨说IoverheardhertellingmyAuntNaya你不喜欢让她付钱youdon'tlikeherpayingforstuff?我不明白Idon'tgetit.她付钱有什么问题吗What'swrongwithherpaying?听着我欣赏你在这1.ook,Iappreciatethatyou'rehere袒护你妈妈的行为好吗toprotectyourmom,allright?但这是成年男人的事Butthisisgrownmanstuff.你不会明白的很复杂Youwouldn'tunderstand.It'scomplicated.才不是No,it'snot.从现在起你离她远点Fromnowon,youstayawayfromher.好吧她已经和我保持距离了OK,well,she'salreadystayingawayfromme.她有什么理由不这样Whywouldn'tshe?你都弄哭她了Youmadehercry.你算什么男人Whatkindofamanareyou?哈里Harry?我收到短♥信♥说你想死Igotatextsayingyouwanttodie,带着骷髅头表情followedbyanemojiofaskulb后面还跟着绞索和枪thenanoose,thenagun.对还跟着刀和棺材Yeah.Andthenaknifeandacasket.不知道为什么还有教堂Thenforsomereason,achurch?那是误发Thatwasamistake.本来要发剑的Itwassupposedtobeasword.发生什么了What,sgoingon?海瑟离开我了太好了Heatherleftme.-Yes.对她离开你了Yes,shedid.那真是糟心Andthatisawful.她离开了She'sgone.都结束了It'sover.我的生命也结束了Nowmylifeisover.我也很难过哈里Oh,msosorry,Harry.少骗人Donotlie.你高兴得很You'rehappy.那个红头发在使劲憋笑呢Thered-hairedoneistryingnottosmile.看来你现在知道我的名字了Itseemslikeyouknowmynamebynow.好了OK.我们确实想拆散你俩1.ook,wedidtrytobrea
