ResidentAlien《外星居民（2021）》第三季第七集完整中英文对照剧本.docx
主要嫌疑人外星居民第三季第七集出自英国诗人阿尔弗雷德丁尼生为亡友所作的悼亡诗贝克特搬家公♥司♥59号♥酒吧玛雅诺特餐馆59号♥酒吧元气妈妈披萨店警长科罗拉多州宁静镇XNL实验室是真的闲人免进H范德斯派格医生医学博士外星居民前情提要Previouslyon"ResidentAlien".嗨爸Hi,Dad.这是我可爱的小女儿莉莎Thisismysweetlittlegirl,Iva.嗨亲爱的-嗨爸Hello,sweetheart.-Hi,Dad.你知道的我和你妈妈在聊天Youknow,yourmotherandIweretalking,在公园市有很多有趣的可能性andthere'salotofveryinterestingpossibilitiesinParkCity.我今天去见了我妈Imetmymothertoday.有事吗CanIhelpyou?怎么样Well,howdiditgo?达西D'Arcy.你觉得自己被绑♥架♥过吗Doyouthinkyou'vebeenabducted?怎么能确定自己被绑♥架♥过呢Howwouldsomeoneknowforsure?有些人发现身上有外星人用来追踪的小芯片Somepeoplefindchipsthataliensuseasatrackingdevice.什么风把你吹来这小地方了Whatbringsyoutothisneckofthewoods?我是来杀我父亲的mheretokillmyfather.你一定懂化学吧Youmustknowchemistry.你认得这个化学式吗Yourecognizethisformula?这是带有外星人元素的化合物Itisacompoundwithanalienelement.这个化学式可能是弄明白小灰人计划的关键ThisformulamaybethekeytounderstandingtheGreys'plan.到底出什么事了Whatisgoingon?你为什么这么鬼鬼祟祟的Whyareyoubeingsosecretive?你为什么这么问东问西的Whyareyoubeingsoinquisitive?你和丽芙极力恳求我招个新的副警长YouandLivpracticallybeggedmeforanewdeputy,结果他走了你还直没找接任者butnowhe'sgone,andyouhaven'tevenreplacedhim?不No.我在人类电影里看到过Ihaveseenthisinhumanmovies.我坠入爰河了Iaminlove.你现在为小灰人卖♥♥命CYouworkfortheGreysnow.你要帮我们获取哈里的外星DNAYouaregonnahelpusgetHarry,salienDNA.一旦你把我想要的给我你就离开地球OnceyougivemewhatIneed,youwillleavetheplanet,再也不见哈里andyouwillneverseehimagain.这人已经死了Thisoneisdead.爱过又失去总比从未爱过好Itisbettertohavelovedandlost,不管是哪个蠢蛋说的我希望这人也死了saidsomeidiot,whoIhopeisalsodeadnow.爱就像自己被大炮射出去1.oveislikebeingshotoutofacannon.过程让人兴奋不已但结局惨淡thrilling,exceptforthatverylastpart撞到地面然后身体碎成无数小碎片whenyouhitthegroundandyourbodybreaksintotinypieces.结局毁了整个过程Thatpartruinsthetrip.你知道我刚意识到什么吗YouknowwhatIjustrealized?这首歌♥已经循环三遍了Thissonghasrepeatedthreetimes.然后我问自己AndthenIaskedmyselfwhowould现在谁会听20世纪70年代的伤心情歌♥belisteningtoa1970sheartbreaksong听到停不下来overandoveragain?我找到答案了Andnow,hereIam.这首歌♥是有史以来最真实的创作Thissongisthetruestoneeverwritten.拜托你打住吧Canyoupleasemakeitstop?海瑟的事我很抱歉msorryaboutHeather,butwehavealot但我们今早有非常多病人要看Ofpatientsthismorning.我才不在乎他们是死是活Idonotcarewhethertheyliveordie!你还是把这话放心里吧,Maybeyoukeepthatinside.然后问家把炸♥弹♥做完好吗Andthengohomeandfinishthebomb,please.好首先是木镇长的心理治疗OK,firstup,MayorBenfortherapy.就算本镇长死了我也不在乎IdonotcareifMayorBendies.我也同意Well,thatmakestwoofus.他开玩笑呢Hewasjoking.我没开玩笑Iwasn,t.靠Oh,shit!情况很微妙It's.it,sdelicate.我和共事的一个男的有一些矛盾There'sthisguyatworkthatmhavingabitofaproblemwith.是迈克警长SheriffMike.不不是No,it'snot.如果不是迈克警长IfitisnotSheriffMike,那就是做三明治的蒂米thenitisTimmythesandwichguy.要是你连他都没法好好相处Andifyoucannotgetalongwithhim,那你可真是个混♥蛋♥thenyouarearealdick.好吧是迈克OK,it'sMike.嗯他在背地里搞事Yeah,he's.he,suptosomething.谎话连篇还偷偷摸摸的Youknow,he'slyingandsneakingaround.而且我很肯定他逼我聘请的新副警长Andmprettysurethenewdeputyhemademehire是个谋杀犯.isamurderer.不要相信任何人Don'ttrustanyone.你永远没法知道一个男人是怎么想的Youcannevertrulyknowhowanothermanfeels.一个女人一只鸟awoman,bird.就算每天早晨你在迈克警长身边醒来YoucouldwakeupeverymorningnexttoSheriffMike.他说着他好爱你Hecouldtellyouhelovesyou,andyou但你永远不知道他说的是不是真心话willneverknowifhedoes.就算他爱抚你的脸庞Hecouldcaressyourface,你用手把向日葵籽喂到他的樱桃小嘴里andyoucouldhand-feedsunflowerseedsintohisdelicatelittlemouth听他说着他想和你共度余生的话whilehesayshewantstospendtherestofhislifewithyou,那也可能全部都是假的butitcouldallbealie.我想和你共度余生Iwanttospendtherestofmylifewithyou.你可能在骗我呢Thatcouldbealie.谢谢画面感很生动Thankyouforthatimage.在这世上除了你自己你谁都无法依靠Youonlyhaveyourselfinthisworldandnooneelse.你欠我一百美金Youoweme$100.我懂了Oh,Isee.你的意思是这段关系里我把主♥权♥让给了迈克You'resayingmgivingMikethepowerintherelationship.我得找出事情的真♥相♥夺回我的主♥权♥Ineedtofindoutwhat'sgoingon,takemypowerback.我一点都没这么说过Ididn,tsayanyofthat.你的疗法很奇怪Youknow,youhaveastrangemethod,但我逐渐理解了butmstartingtogetit.你故意说错话让我明白什么是对的Yousaythewrongthingformetolearntherightthing.错了-没错Wrong.-Right.很棒的疗程Greatsession.关灯啊Turnoffthelight!混♥蛋♥东西Sonofabitch.该死哈里Harry,Goddamnit!我受够了我要给你停了That'sit.mpullingtheplug.来诊所可不想听这种音乐Notsomethingyouwanttohearinadoctor'soffice.你好啊Hi.我是玛丽-埃伦MaryEllen.我知道是你Iknow.我想为我曾经的所作所为道歉IwantedtosaysorryforhowIwas.我之前状态不太好Iwasn,tinthebestplace.当时发生好多事情Therewassomethingsgoingon.这些都不重要了Itdoesn'tmatter.你想了解你的家族和历史吗Wanttoknowaboutyourfamily,yourhistory?也许我们可以边吃边聊Maybewegrabsomefoodandtalk?长官我们有麻烦了Sir,wehaveaproblem.你之前教过我的小窍门Ididthattrickyoutaughtmeaboutputting在冰箱里的午餐袋上放根头发ahaironmylunchbagintherefrigerator看看有没有人动过toseeifanyone,stouchedit,我用到了谋杀窠调查板上发现被人动过rbutwithourmurderinvestigationboard,andtheydid.你是说你在冰箱里放了你的头发吗Areyousayingyou'vebeenputtingyourhairintherefrigerator?这不是你教的吗Itwasyourtechnique.你说你把头发放在Yousaidyouputyourhaironyour.我说我把我的头发放在了我的午餐上IsaidIputmyhaironmylunch.没说把你的头发放在你的午餐上Ididn,tsayputyourhaironyourlunch.这不卫生啊That'sunsanitary.那你有没有听到我说谋杀案调查板的那部分AnddidyouhearthepartIsaidaboutourmurderboard?我耳听八方副警长Iheareverything,deputy.我人送外号♥耳廓狐mlikeafennecfox.去上网搜搜1.ookitup.超可爱的It'scuteashell.要我说吧他对我们的行动刨根问底Well,dsaythefactthathe'sbeenaskingquestions让我觉得我们中的间谍aboutourmovementstellsmethatourlikelyspy或许就是镇长isthemayor.再加上他现在正监视着我们呢Plusthefactthathe,sspyingonusrightnow.没事的No,it'sfine.他还一无所知Hedon'thavenothing.要是他问起我们就说Ifheasks,we'lljustsaythatboard'spart那板子上写的是我们正在玩的一款刑侦探案游戏ofagamewe'replaying,amurdermystery叫做外星追踪车calledthe"AlienTrackersVan."是迈克警长探案小游戏系列之一Yeah,partofthe"SheriffMike1SMurderMysteryGame"series,right?下一部就叫做Andthenextoneis迈克警长与老锯木厂之谜"SheriffMikeandtheSecretoftheOldSawmill."好的OK.但还有一件事Butontheotherthing,yousaid你说你找到了另一位化学家我们可以问他you'dfoundanotherchemistwecantalktoabouttheformula罗伯特笔记本里的化学式fromRobert,snotebook.你刚刚说我们Yousaidwe.你愿意回来跟我一起调杳了吗Areyoubackonthisthingwithme?没错长官Yes,sir.我不想再让我心中的恐惧阻止我做正确的事Idon'twanttoletbeingafraidstopmefromdoingwhat,sright.我都能把奶奶气到进医院还有什么做不到的呢IfIcanputmynanainthehospital,Icandoanything.她怎么样了How'sshedoing?我还没问Ihaven'tasked.总之我有个疯狂的计划来抓住约瑟夫Anyway,IhavekindofacrazyplantocatchJoseph.不管计划是什么Yeah,well,whateveritis,withthemayor有镇长时刻在监视我们watchingusallthetime,任务都会艰巨得多it'sgonnabealotharder.也就艰巨一点点吧Bealittleharder.莉莎1.iza?你好啊老爸Hello,Dad.你现在来拜访我不是时候Nowisnotaverygoodtimeforavisit.或许你该等天气暖和起来的时候再来Maybeyoucancomebackwhenit'swarmeroutside我还能陪你玩掷球游戏andwecanthrowaball.所以你又想把我赶走吗Soyouwanttosendmeawayagain?不是的第一次我没有赶走你No,Ididnotsendyouawaythefirsttime.我只是把你送上了一辆很棒的大巴车Iputyouonanicebus.我甚至都把我最后一个苹果给你了Ievengaveyoumylastapple.你当时迫不及待地想把我打发走Youcouldn'twaittogetridofme.莉莎你现在可太淘气了1.iZa,youarebeingverynaughty.如果你再朝你老爸扔刀子IfyoudonotstopthrowingknivesatDaddy,我就限制你的屏幕使用时间了Iwilllimityourscreentime.那里天寒地冻的Itwasfreezingthere.你甚至都没给我带件毛衣Youdidn'tevenpackmeasweater.你好像哪里不一样rThere'ssomethingdifferentaboutyou.桥特Bridget.我的宝贝是你啊Mybaby,it'syou.我喜欢你这新皮肤Ilikeyournewskin.你把我鼻子撞破了Well,youbrokemynose.桥特Bridget!现在很壮实嘛Sostrongnow.我的宝贝长成健硕的大孩子了Mybig,strongbaby.你都学会复♥制♥莉莎的穿着了Andyou'velearnedtorecreateLiza'sclothing.爸爸可太骄傲了Daddyissoproud.你是天底下最差劲的父亲我恨你You'retheworstfatherever,andIhateyou.你想让我死吗Oh,youwantmedead?那好吧OK.不还不是时候No,notyet.我还为你安排了其他的事Ihavesomethingelseplannedforyoufirst,比死亡更恐怖somethingworsethandeath.是什么Whatisit?你会知道的Iguessyou'llsee.你忘拿Hey,youleftyour.你的帽子了yourhat.你不要的话帽子就归我了That'safreehatforme.你好啊Oh,hi.太谢谢你了Oh,thankyou.妈呀我尿急快憋不住了Oh,mygod,Ihavetopeesobad.注意到没我没有问你为什么被铐在床上Oh,andnoticeIdidn,taskwhyyou'recuffedtothebed.这是一个成熟的人才做得到的事快表扬我Thatissomethingamaturepersonwoulddo,andIwantcredit.我注意到了Yeah,Inoticed.感激不尽Thanksforthat.没什么奇怪的It,snothingweird.这和情♥趣♥川♥品♥没关系It,s.it,snotasexthing.其实情♥趣♥用♥品♥的说法反而不奇怪呢Actually,thesexversionwouldbethenotweirdexplanation.也许有时候你就是太爱你的床了Well,maybesometimesyoujustloveyourbed所以不想被迫和它分开somuchyoudon,twanttobetakenfromit.老实说这事光说起来都荒谬Imean,honestly,it's.it'stoocrazytoeventalkabout.这但我没事It,s.butmfine.对没错Yeah,right.我只想说你是这世界上我认识的人中lljustsay,you're,like,theleastcrazy最不疯狂的人personIknowintheworld.所以不管你身上发生了什么Somaybewhatever,shappeningtoyou,都没那么荒唐it'snotsocrazy.心态放开就好Juststayopen.就这样That'sall.好好Yeah,yeah.当然Sure.嘿蠢蛋Hey,dickhead!我需要你帮个忙Ineedyourhelp.我儿子桥特回来了MybabyBridgetisback.挺好你们俩好好玩Cool.Youtwohavefun.不不一点都不好玩No,no,itisnotfun.他想让我死Hewantsmedead.你真惨Suckstobeyou.所以我才需要你帮忙That'swhyIneedyourhelp.会很有意思的Hey,it'sgoingtobeexciting,huh?两个好朋友一起冒险Two.twogoodfriendsonanadventure.你让我帮忙只是因为我能识别外星人YouonlywantmyhelpbecauseIcanseealiens.什么你还有这能力What?Youcandothat?我的好朋友有这么有用的技能啊Whatausefulskillformygoodfriendtohave.你在平过我因I为科学展被禁足的事吗DoyouevencareIgotgroundedoverthesciencefair?那是因为你偷了我的破火山口Becauseyoustolemycaldera.我才应该生气呢Ishouldbetheangryone.你该庆幸我需要你You'reluckyIneedyou.果然一如既往Yeah,likealways.你得到自己想要的东西后Andafteryougetwhatyouneed,我在你眼里就像死了一样it'slikemnotevenalive,所以你才是大蠢蛋whichmakesyoutheD-I-C-Khead.好东西在哪Fine,whereisit?我知道在你这里Iknowyouhaveit好吧如果你不帮我追踪外星人Allright,ifyouarenotgoingtohelpmetrackanalien,那你就不是外星人追踪者thenyouarenotthealientracker.拿去吧我不在乎KeepitIdon'tcare.我倒希望你从没来过宁静镇IwishyounevercametoPatience.你说你有我家族的消息Soyousaidyouhadinformationaboutmyfamily?我从来不是一个重视家庭的人veneverreallybeenafamilyperson.我以前既不想做亲子鉴定Youknow,Ididn'twanttospitinatube也不想寻找表亲orchasedowncousins,但我知道你跟我想法不同butIknowit,sdifferentforyou.我想我有你想要的东西AndIthinkIhavewhatyouwant有什么问题吗我很讨厌提这事的Isthereaproblem?-1hatetobringthisup,但收集这些费了好大劲butgettingthistogetherwasalotofwork.复印文件打电♥话♥跑了两趟法♥院♥photocopies,phonecalls,twotripstothecourthouse,请一天假开车来这里汽油tookthedayoffworktodriveuphere,gas.开销不少呢msayingthereareexpenses.积少成多Theyaddup.当然Ibet.你知道总共多少吗Youhappentoknowhowhigh?750美金750bucks.我有种不祥的预感Ihadabadfeeling.我只对坏人有不祥的预感Ionlygetbadfeelingsaboutbadpeople.由于我的工作都是和坏人打交道Andsincemyjobonlyputsmewithbadpeople,所以我一直都有不祥的预感Ifeelbadallthetime.那时不时小酌一下也无伤大雅吧Socanyoublameaguyforneedingadrinkeverynowandthen?烫Hot他还在那吗Hestillthere?不不别去看No,no,don,tlook.用你的第三只眼睛去感受Feelitwithyourthirdeye.抱歉我已经用这两只眼睛看了msorry,Ialreadylookedwithmyfirsttwoeyes.他还在那He'sthere.一个人可以一整天跟踪别人Aguycouldtailpeopleallday希望他们中有人能给他惊喜hopingoneofthemwillsurprisehim.到那天结束时Andbytheendofthatday,allhe'dhave他得到的只有一顶装满失望的帽子isahatfullofdisappointmentandgum和鞋底粘着的口香糖onthebottomofhisshoe.噢侦探香糖鞋我懂了Oh,gumshoe.Igetit.你好我是本霍桑Hello,BenHawthorne.你好霍桑先生很抱歉你的儿子麦克斯Yes,Mr.Hawthorne,mafraidyoursonMaxhascaused今天在学校闯祸quitetheproblemdownhereatschooltoday,请你立刻来接他andweneedyoutopickhimuprightaway.现在吗Now?他妈妈在学校工作不能让她接吗Well,hismomworksthere.Can'tshedoit?对对她现在也在Yes,yes,sheisherenow.她说你也得过来Shesaysthatsheneedsyoutocome,too.你儿子捅个大篓子好吗Thetroubleissobad,OK?好吧马上就来OK,llberightthere.谢谢拜拜-拜Thankyou.Bye-bye.-Yep.他走了Andtherehegoes.地方完全够啊He'sgotplentyofroom.现在他又回来了Andnowhe'scomingback.也许他落了什么东西Maybeheforgotsomething.感觉他是为了向前进而先往后退It,slikehe,spullingawaybackwardssohecancomeinforwards.太糟了Thisisbad.天我看嗑嗨的松鼠开三轮Hell,Isawacoked-outsquirreldrivingatricycle都比他开得好thatdrivebetterthanthat.你把所有的酒都给我拿来You,getmeallthealcohol!我是哈里范德斯派格医生IamDr.HarryVanderspeigle,镇上最大的酒鬼thebiggestdrunkintown!老天爷JesusChrist.这杯我喝了Iwilltakethis,因为我是哈里范德斯派格because1amHarryVanderspeigle.我是个自私鬼AndIamselfish.我把孩子送走却不给一点零食AndIsendchildrenawaywithoutanysnacks.我AndI.那简直不可原谅thatisinexcusable.你在干什么Whatareyoudoing?喝酒Iwashavingdrinks.不是第一次喝因为我已经是成年人类了It,snotmyfirst,becausemanadulthuman.我喝酒Idrinkalcohol.我的胃好暖和Mystomachissowarm.你鸟人女朋友的事我很遗憾Iamsorryaboutyourbird,但你得振作起来好吗butyouneedtosnapoutofitOK?你还有正事要做呢Yougotshittodo.你真好看Youlookgood.你知道小灰人也会带走凯特吗DoyouknowtheGreysaretakingKate,too?这件事更糟了Thisshitisgettingworse.我以为能自己解决但我做不到dfixitmyself,butIcan,t我得指望你做点什么vegottorelyonyoutodosomething.我做了Ididit.为什么感觉跟打了一架一样WhydoIfeellikefighting?你留着吧Keepit.什么事What?妈妈抱歉Mom,sorry.他在哪Whereishe?你母亲是一只海狸吗Isyourmotherabeaver?因为真♥他♥妈♥像啊美女Becausedamn,girl.对于没被领养过的人Forsomeonewho'snotadopted,很难理解这种心情it'shardtounderstand.就像你了解自己的故事It's.youknowyourstory.故事从很久之前开始Itstartswaybacksomewhereand.像小说里一样一章一章推进andmovesforwardlikechaptersinanovel.然后在某个时间点你登场了Andatsomepoint,youshowupinit但对我来说Butme,我登场之前的内容全都被撕掉了it'slikethepagesbeforemeweretornoutofthebook,玛丽艾伦有这些内容andMaryEllenhasthem.她要把这些内容卖♥♥给你而这是错的Andshe'sgonnasellthemtoyou,andthat,swrong.如果你给她钱她可不会就这么走rAndifyoupayher,she,snevergonnagoaway.她时不时就会来骚扰你的She'sgonnakeepcomingback.那样就Andthatwouldbe.糟了Bad.好吧Right.你们在这里啊Thereyouare.你们有人要踢我乳♥头♥鞭策我吗Areeitheroneofyougoingtokickmeinthenipple?本来没想过但我现在满脑子都是这件事Imean,Iwasn't,butnowit'sallIcanthinkabout.发生什么事了我听说你被Whathappened?元气妈妈披萨店拉黑了-什么IheardyougotbannedfromMamaSap's.-What?芝士是从她脚趾里抠出来的Thecheesecomesfromhertoes.别来Stayaway!小混♥蛋♥说的比死亡更恐怖原来是这个意思Thisiswhatthelittleshitmeantbyworsethandeath.他要毁了我在这的生活Heisgoingtodestroymylifehere.你怎么了What'sgoingonwithyou?我还不是一个足够强大的家长Ihavenotbeenastrongenoughparent.我要去踢自己乳♥头♥鞭策自己了mgoingtodosomenipplekickingofmyown.妈妈Mom.他怎么样了Hey,howishe?不是很好看看他啊Notgood.Lookathim.他的心跳都停了Hisheartstopped.他刚才摔倒了巧克力豆洒了一地Hejustkeeledover,spilledhisM&Msallovertheplace,只能在酒店房♥间里andthentheyhadtostarthimup就地给他做心脏复苏rightthereinthehotelroom.太可怕了Itwasawful.你们来科罗拉多州干什么What.whatareyoudoinginColorado?我表妹路易莎的生日MycousinLouisa'sbirthday.你记得她的Yourememberher.没有不好意思No,sorry.路易莎表妹啊CousinLouisa?我听清了我只是不记得她了Yeah,Iheardyou.Ijustdon'tremember.路易莎表妹啊CousinLouisa.我又不认识她Idon'tknowher.你会吵到你父亲的You'lldisturbyourfather.真希望能找护土要点冰块IsurewishIcouldfindthatnursewiththeicechips.我们还是先等他醒过来吧Ithinkwecanwaituntilhewakesup.不是给他的They'renotforhim.你至少可以为迟来道个歉Youcouldatleastapologizeforbeinglate.麻烦问下有Excuseme,isthere.胡说八道Bullshit.爸爸Dad.你感觉怎么样Howareyoufeeling?我应该向你道歉才对Ishouldbetheoneapologizingtoyou因为曾经告诉你要以不同的方式生活fortellingyoutoliveyourlifeadifferentway.一定是给你吃了好药rThismustbesomegooddrugs.有一次在电视上Youknow,onceonTV,在放你的世界杯比赛inoneofyourWorldCupraces,他们播门皆雪运动员在山顶的视角theyshowedwhattheskierseesatthetopofthehill.冰崖峭壁而你却一跃而下Cliffofsheerice,andyoujustdropoffit.毫无惧色Fearless.太勇敢了Suchbravery.你是我心目中的英雄You,remyhero.我是你心目中的英雄myourhero?你拥有我生活中缺少的一切You,reeverythingthatIwasn'tinmylife.我也曾有自己想做的事IhadthingsIwantedtodo.当然有了OfcourseIdid.我走了最安全的路没有丝亳风险Itookthesafeway,norisks.
