Desperate Housewives《绝望的主妇》第二季第十二集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

前情提要Previouslyon.我就要死了死之前我要知道mgonnadie,anddliketoknow我女儿身上究竟发生了什么whathappenedtomydaughterbeforeIdo.在柴藤郡有旧的仇恨WhenitcomestoWisteria1.ane,thereareoldcrimes.新的罪孽Newcrimes.天一黑就把尸体弄走Assoonasitgetsdark,wegetridofthatbody.有些罪恶Andcrimesthatarehappening.就发生在光天化日之下Rightundereveryone'snose.我觉得是艾波怀特家干的mthinkingit'stheapplewhites.吉姆哈文森知道Jimhalversonwasaware自己没女人缘thathehadlittletoofferawoman.他既不富有也不风趣英俊Hewasneitherrich,norsmart,norhandsome.你是吉姆吗?苏姗.梅尔AreyouJim?mSusanMayer.哦Oh.所以当他的朋友把他介绍给Sowhenhisfriendsethimuponablinddate美丽的陌生人时withabeautifulstranger.你比尼基说得漂亮多了Wow,you'resomuchhotterthanNikkisaidyou'dbe.你几岁？Howoldareyou?你认为呢？HowolddoyouthinkIam?吉姆试图幽默但犯了巨大的错误)immadethetragicdecisiontotrytobefunny.肯定不超过50Notadayover50.我们找个地方坐下吧Whydon'twegetourtable?不你看那很有趣Well,no,see,thatwasfunny,你肯定不超过50becauseyou'resoobviouslynot50.所以我说50那很好笑That'swhyIsaid50,causeit'sabsurd.吉姆竭尽全力试图让苏姗发笑JimdideverythinghecouldtogetSusanMayertolaugh.他尝试了种族歧视的笑话Hetriedracialhumor.猜日本人儿时去看牙医？SoguesswhattimeChinesepeoplegotothedentist?2:302:30.明白?牙-疼（两者发音相似）Uh,getit?"Tooth-hurty?',2:30Tooth-hurty.我喜欢这个笑话1lovethat.他尝试r更大胆的Hetriedtobeengaginglyrisque.直肠？几乎杀死了他Rectum?Damnnearkilledhim!知道rectum（直肠）这个词的意思吧？Uh,youknowwhatarectumis,right?他也尝试r温和的Heeventriedgentleteasing.如果把你和纳粹党徒相比No,no,yousee,bycomparingyoutoaNazi,我得出的结论是你不是纳粹,Iwasmakingthepointthatyou,resonotaNazi.喜欢You'relikethe.当吉姆认为AndjustwhenJimthought这次约会不能再糟时thedatecouldn'tgetanyworse.啊Oh!Oh!哦Ow!Oh.更糟的发生了Itdid.吉姆我要你向上看Okay,Jim,Ineedyoutolookup.向下Anddown.很好怎么撞到的？Allright,so,howdidthishappen?是意外Itwasanaccident.我不那公认为Oh,Idon'tknowaboutthat.在有些文化里撞头是交♥配♥前的仪式Insomecultureshead-buttingisamatingritual.是的Yeah.麦克格雷迪医生能和你说句话吗？关于我的头Dr.Mccready,canItalktoyouaboutmyhead?不能打草稿Awayfrom.Thedraft?叫我罗恩医生别人都那么叫Yeah,youcancallmeDr.Ron.Everyonedoes.罗恩医生Uh,Dr.Ron.我要你假装我的头很严重Ineedyoutopretendthere,ssomethingwrongwithme今晚需要住院观察什么？andadmitmeforthenight.msorry?他是我这辈子约会过最糟糕的男人Thisistheworstdate1haveeverbeenoninmylife.那个人是世界最无聊讨厌无礼的男人Thatmanisthemostobnoxious,offensive,annoyinghumanbeing.你可能觉得我就快疯rAndyou'relookingatmelikemcrazyrightnow,如果再跟他呆上一秒钟我真的会疯but1willbeif1spendonemoresecondwithhim.请你帮帮我做些什么Soyougottahelpme.Yougottadosomething.有关我的精神健康精神健康！It,smymentalhealth.Mymentalhealth!请你发誓Youtookanoath.放开我的领子好吗？Couldyouletgoofmylapel,please?抱歉Oh,sorry.对你的糟糕约会我很抱歉Um,listen,msorryyourdate'snotgoingwell.但我不能这么做ButIcan'tadmityou,Susan.好吧好吧Right.Right.吉姆我们检杳下反射系统Jim,let's,uh,let'stakealookatthosereflexes.好医生我有个笑话Okay,Igotajokeforyou,doctor.给兔子做包皮环切最正确的方法是什么？What'sthecorrectmedicaltermforthecircumcisionofarabbit?切兔Harecut.我不总是那么Idon't.Ialways.吉姆我得让你在这里多呆一会做些检查Jim,mgonnaneedtokeepyouhereforawhile,真的吗?我runsometests.Really?I.是啊我还有点担心你头上的伤Yeah,mstillworriedaboutthatbumponyourheadhere.0w!那伤还That'sstill.苏姗你没事可以走了And,Susan,you'regoodtogo.虽然只有一瞬间Andthoughitonlylastedamoment,吉姆捕捉到他约会对像和医生Jimcaughtthelookthatpassed脸上的表情betweenhisdate.Andhisdoctor.非常感谢罗恩医生Thankyousomuch,Dr.Ron.他突然明白Andhesuddenlygotthefeeling自己才是最大的笑话thejokewasonhim.一年一度的献血活动是柴藤郡的传统TheannualblooddrivewasatraditiononWisteria1.ane.大多数居民来此是为了促进健康和生活质量Mostresidentscametohelppromotehealthandwell-being,但我的朋友们有其它的理由butmyfriendsturnedupforadifferentreason.他们越来越担心Theyweregrowingincreasinglyconcerned社区正被一种thattheirstreetwasinfected威险的疾病威胁withadangerouskindofsickness.他们互相讨论Andtheycametoconsultwithoneanother解决的方法aboutapossiblecure.太好了她发现我在看她Oh,great,shecaughtmestaring.你们没注意到贝蒂变得很友好吗HaveyouguysnoticedhowfriendlyBetty'sbeen自从尸体在她家门口被发现sincethatbodywasfoundinfrontofherhouse?我不信任友好的女人Idon'ttrustfriendlywomen.没关系他们也不信任你That'sokay.Theydon'ttrustyou,either.我知道那两个人Ijustknowthosetwo肯定和那具尸体有关havesomethingtodowiththatdeadbody.我们都不知道他是谁Doweevenknowwhoheis?报上说警方不肯透露细节Well,thepapersaidthepolicearewithholdingthedetails.布里也许你可以打个电♥话♥Bree,maybeyoushouldcallinafavor给那个侦探让他帮忙查一下fromyourpolicedetectivepal,havehimpokearound.这主意不错你还能让他That'sagreatidea.Youcouldhavehimdo杳杳艾波怀特家的情况abackgroundcheckontheapplewhites.我不认为我能做得到Idon'tthinkIcandothat.为什么?你说过他不错Whynot?Yousaidhewasnice.他不怀疑我是杀死莱克斯的凶手Well,oncehestoppedsuspectingmeOfmurderingRex是不错hewasdelightful,但我几乎不认识他but,um.Idon'treallyknowhim.总得有人做些什么Well,somebodyhastodosomething,我开始失眠了'causemlosingsleep.贝蒂!马修！Betty!Matthew.Hi.大家好Hello,everybody.苏姗有人告诉我你快生日了Susan,alittlebirdietoldmeyou'rehavingabirthdaysoon.我们应该出去庆祝一下Weshouldallgooutandcelebrate.太好了Super.你计划好了？Soundslikeaplan.算我一个Countmein.再见Bye.再见Seeya.为什么你突然变成所有人的好朋友了？Sowhyareyoueverybody'sbestfriendallofasudden?如果有时候你得装得像个好邻居Iftherewaseveratimetobeneighborly,就是现在thisisit.继续住在这里太蠢了他们刚发现We'reidiotsforstayinghere.Imean,weshould've门罗的尸体时我们就应该离开hittheroadassoonastheyfoundMonroe,sbody.我们怎么知道他没有把我们的行踪告诉福斯特？Imean,howdoweknowhedidn'ttellfosterwherewe'rehiding?如果告诉了福斯特早就该出现了Becauseifhehad,fosterwould'veshownupbynow.而且如果我们离开我们住到哪里去？Andbesides,ifwetakeoff,whatarewegonnaliveon?我所有的钱都花在这座房♥子上Ihaveallofourmoneytiedupinthishouse.为什么不卖♥♥了?Sowhynotjustsellit?耐心马修如果现在走Patience,Matthew.Ifwetakeoffrightaway,看上去会很可疑it'lllooksuspicious.需要编个故事Nowwhatweneedisastory.搬家的理由Areasonforustomove.你是阴性AB型1.ookatthis,a-bnegative.是很少见的血型Yeah,it,stherarestofallbloodtypes.这太奇怪了Well,theremustbesomethinginthewateraroundtheseparts.你是今天第二个这种血型的人You'remyseconda-bnegativetoday.真的？Seriously?还有一个是谁？Uh,whowasit?那个人Thatguy.嗨布里嗨Hi,Bree.Oh,hi.我想谢谢你对杜♥鹃♥花的建议Ijustwantedtothankyouforyouradviceonmyazaleas.他们长得很好They'rejustthriving.那没什么Oh,itwasnotroubleatall.真可惜我肯能没法多欣赏那些花了SuchashameImaynotbearoundtoenjoythem.我母亲生病了Well,mymotherhastakenill.马修和我可能要去看她AndMatthewandI,we'llprobablygoandvisither.有可能搬走Wemayevenbemoving.现在还不确定Wejustdon'tknowyet.她住在哪里？Oh,well,wheredoesshelive?在芝加哥Oh,backinChicago.病严重吗？Isitserious?还不清楚I-Idon'tknowyet.当然我得去和她的医生谈谈Well,obviously,I'llbespeakingwithherdoctor.贝蒂如果有什么事我可以帮忙Oh,Betty,ifthere'sanythingIcando,谢谢你anythingatall.Thankyou.你已经帮了我很多You'vealreadydonesomuch.再见Bye.喔0w!Oh!罗恩医生来过电♥话♥ThatDr.Roncalled.他要你再去复检一次Heneedstoseeyouforafollow-upappointment.他需要见我还是想见我？Heneedstoseemeorhewantstoseeme?天啊妈妈他很可爱吗？Jeez,mom,howcuteisthisguy?他可以更可爱的但我不知道Oh,hecouldbecuter.ButIdon'tknowhow.那么约他出来Soaskhimout.哦不我不能那么做Oh,no,Ican'tdothat.妈既然他是个可爱的外科医生那还有什么问题？Mom,he,sacutesurgeon.What'stheproblem?他很年轻年轻？He,syoung.Young?比我小Youngerthanme.小多少？Howmuchyounger?假如我是高三学生1.et'sjustsayifIwasaseniorinhighschool,看到他我会说好帅气的初中新生啊dbesaying,"wow,you'reahotfifthgrader."哦好吧当然听起来很恶心Oh,well,ofcourseit'sgonnasoundgross如果你这么说的话你们都是成年人ifyousayitthatway.Butyou'rebothadults.为什么不约他出来？Sowhynotjustaskhimout?因为我们的对话可能会这样'Causetheconversationcouldgosomethinglikethis,罗恩医生我觉得你很性感"Dr.Ron,Ithinkyou'rehot."谢谢你妈妈"Oh,well,thankyou,ma'am."我想现在是谈谈你臀部整型的时候了"NowIthinkit'stimewetalkaboutyourhipreplacement.,妈妈你也很性感Mom,you'rehotandfunnyandnice.漂亮和贤惠And.clearlydesperate,而且显然有些饥渴男生会喜欢这种类型andguysareintothat.发挥你的强项Playtoyourstrengths.感谢上帝你回来了Thankgodyou,rehome.出什么事了?帕特说是紧急情况What,swrong?Patsaidyoutoldheritwasanemergency!男孩们被学校送了回来Theboysweresenthomefromschool.什么？为什么?我打电♥话♥回家没人接听What?Why?Icalled.Themachinekeptpickingup.我知道我知道听着Iknow.Iknow.1.ook,I.他们长水痘了They'vegotchickenpox.水痘脸就算紧急情况？Chickenpox?That'stheemergency?水痘会传染They'retotallycontagious.不会传给我们Nottous.会传给我!我从来没得过！Theyaretome!veneverhadit.你怎么没告诉过我Well,younevertoldmethat.现在的问题是我不能进去Youknow,thepointis,1can'tgointhere.里面是禁区It,sahotzone.好吧汤姆总得有人照看孩子Well,Tom,somebody'sgottatakecareofourkids.是啊既然你免疫Exactly.Andsinceyou'reimmune.你在开玩笑!我得回去工作！Oh,you'vegottabekidding!Ihavetogetbacktowork!就几天直到不会传染Justforacoupleofdays,untilthey'renotcontagious.这不是埃博拉病毒是水痘！Itisnottheebolavirus.Itschickenpox.别像个孩子那样好吧Youarebeingababy.Yes,Iam.好吧Okay.如果你认为我现在像个孩子Andifyouthinkmbeingababynow,我的提醒你等我真的病了会变成什么样子doIneedtoremindyouofwhatmlikewhenmsick?记得我得喉炎的那次吗？RememberthattimeIhadstrepthroat?我们去了婚姻问题咨♥询♥服务Wewoundupinmarriagecounseling.我给办公室打电♥话♥llcalltheoffice.谢谢亲爱的Thanks,honey.索利斯夫人我得和你谈谈Uh,Mrs.Solis,Igottatalktoyou.拉尔夫如果又是路易斯Ralph,ifthisisabout1.uis给花浇多了水overwateringthehydrangeasagain,我跟你说过我讨厌打小报告的人Itoldyou,noonelikesatattletale.我妻子离开了我Mywifeleftme.我很抱歉Oh,msorry.我不知道你和博妮塔间有问题1didn'tknowyouandbonitawerehavingproblems.我们一直很好Weweren't.Uh,itwasallofasudden.突然有一天她装好东西离开了Shejustpackedherbagsandleft.她说我有病需要别人帮助ShesaidIhaveanillness,andIneedtogethelp.为什么？Why?我有点问题There'snothingwrongwithme.我喜欢在网上看漂亮女人IjustliketolookatprettyladiesontheInternet.嗯Uh-huh.当然他们不总是穿着衣服Andsure,they'renotalwaysdressed,有时候还不止一人andsometimes,there'smorethanone.不过我只去那些最好的网站ButIonlygototheclassywebsites.有些网站上的东西很恶心索利斯夫人There'ssomereallysickstuffoutthere,Mrs.Solis.拉尔夫!有话快说Ralph!Makeyourpoint.昨晚我找到一个新的网站Um,lastnight,uh,Ifoundthisnewwebsite.有一张照片是位女士Andtherewasapictureofalady坐在熊皮毯上什么都没穿sittingonabearskinrugwithnothingon只戴了一顶尖尖的帽子很有节日气息exceptforalittlepointyelfhat.Itwasveryfestive.拉尔夫为什么要告诉我这些？Uh,Ralph,whyareyoutellingmethis?对不起因为msorry.It,sjust,um.我想你得看下这个Ahem.Ithinkyoureallyneedtoseethis.哦上帝啊Oh,mygod!索利斯夫人那些灯光打在你身上很好看Thelightinglooksgreatonyou,Mrs.Solis.大多数时候你得斜着眼看屏幕半边Imean,mostofthetime,youhavetosquintatthescreen才能看到美女toseeanythingreallygood.但那里没有男人那很好Andnothere,no,sir,that'sgood.谢谢你拉尔夫Well,um,thankyou,Ralph,让我看到这个forbringingthistomyattention.索利斯夫人我在想"Uh,Mrs.Solis,Iwaswondering.你能在那个上为我签名吗？Wouldyousignthatforme?好吧Oh,okay.你去哪里了？Wherehaveyoubeen?为什么不来看我？Whydidn,tyoucometoseeme?我每周日都来Icameeverysunday.只是你大多数时候都昏迷不知道我在YouwerejusttoooutofittoknowIwashere.你在说谎Ithinkyou,relying.不过说起来这些天Butthenagain,thesedays,人人都在对我撒谎1thinkeveryone'sbeenlyingtome.重要的是你终于来了Thethingis,you'reherenow.把我想知道的告诉我SotellmewhatIwannaknow.找到杀我女儿的人了？Didyoufindthemanwhokilledmydaughter?是一个叫托德福斯特的家伙ItwasaguynamedToddforrest.那个毒贩Thislowlifedrugdealer.和她搞在一起Hegotherhookedagain.她试图偷货他杀死了你女儿Shetriedtostealfromhim,andhekilledher.我又杀死了他AndIkilledhim.我以为听到这个你会开心Ithoughthearingthatwouldmakeyouhappy.我本来也这么想Ithoughtitwould,too.但事实不是Butitdoesn't.很抱歉0w!msorry.我想给你注射但你的血管不太好Iwannastartyour1.V.,butyourveinsarekindabad.来让我帮你Well,here,letmehelpyou.哦Oh!你在做什么？Whatthehellareyoudoing?疯子You'recrazy!你被解雇了快滚You'refired.Getout.我想我们扯平了SoIguesswe'redonethen?是Yeah.你You,uh.会再来看我吗？Yougonnacomeseemeagain?你订好棺材了吗？Youplanningonhavinganopencasket?哦停Oh!Close.嘿伙计们Hey,guys.Hey.嗨物奈特嗨卡洛斯Hi,1.ynette.Hi,Carlos.太好了三明治?真周到Allright!AReuben?Howsweetisthat?高尔夫课程上的午饭1.unchbroughtrighttothegolfcourse.我听说你们的孩子病得很重Ihearyougotsomeprettysickkidsinthere.不过是水痘Oh,it'sjustchickenpox.但这位勇士只在洗澡和睡觉时进屋子Butbraveheartherewillonlycomeintosleepandshower.我不能怪他Ican'tsayIblamehim.换我也不想被感染上Iwouldn'twanttobeshootingblankseither.保重伙计再见勒奈特Bewell,myman,okay?Bye,1.ynette.再见Seeyoulater.他说被感染上是什么意思？msorry,whatdidhemean,"shootingblanks'?没什么有很小的几率会引起不育Oh,it'snothing.There'sjustasmallchanceofsterility成年人如果染上水痘ifagrownmangetschickenpox,so.我们又不打算再要孩子了那有什么关系？We'renothavinganymorekids.Whywoulditmatter?不知道可能是生存本能Idon'tknow.Youknow,survivalinstinct?所以如果你是核战争后幸存的唯一男性Sothatifyou'rethelastmantosurviveanuclearholocaust,你就要负起繁殖人类的重任？youcouldrepopulatetheplanet?我可没那么说No,allmsayingisthat,上帝没有保证我们不会有意外godforbidsomethingweretohappentoeitheroneofus,我只是希望你我都留有选择的余地dwanteitheroneofustohave,youknow,options.你是说如果我死了Soyou'resayingthatifIdied.你会再娶妻生子？Youwouldwantasecondwifeandafamily?或许Maybe.真不敢相信连这个你都想过了Ican'tbelieveyou'veactuallythoughtaboutthis!你没有？Haven'tyou?想你死后我再结婚？没Thoughtaboutwhodmarryifyoudied?Hmm.No.亲爱的那是备用计划我不会用的Well,honey,it'saback-upplan.mnotgonnauseit.那为什么还留着？Thenwhyhaveit?我不知道也许因为Well,Idon'tknow,because.好比有一扇门It'slike,there,sthisdoor,right?但我并不会走过去Andmnotplanningonactuallygoingthroughit因为在门里面我已经很快乐了becausemsohappyintheroomthatmin.但如果洪水或火灾Butincaseoffireorflood,知道门没有上锁会很安慰it,scomfortingtoknowthatthedoorisunlocked.亲爱的我不会那样做的！Honey,mnotthroughwiththat!是啊让你的Yeah,well,whydon'tyouhave第二任妻子来给你做午餐吧yoursecondwifemakeyoulunch,okay?Oops!你You.布里我得承认我Bree,uh,Ihavetosay,Iwas,uh,接到你的电♥话♥时我很高兴Iwasverypleasedtogetyourcall.我的意思是我很惊讶你会想见我Imean,msurprisedyou'dwanttohaveanythingtodowithme考虑到最近发生过的那些事givenourrecenthistory.你指把我列为杀死我丈夫的嫌疑犯？Oh,youmeanyourhavingsuspectedmeofmurderingmyhusband?侦探那些都是过去的事了Detective,thatisallwaterunderthebridgenow.听你这么说我很高兴Iamverygladtohearyousaythat.我得承认约你出来另有目的Although,Ihavetoconfess,Idohaveanulteriormotive.我想请你帮个忙Ineedtoaskyouafavor.当然只要我能办到Oh,well,shoot,whateverIcando.我们的新邻居艾波怀特家Wehavethese,um,newneighbors.theapplewhites.母亲和儿子从芝加哥搬来lt,samotherandherson.TheyjustmovedherefromChicago.他们看上去很友善Andtheyseemverynice.但是他们Butthere's.周围有些事可疑There'ssomethingaboutthemthat's.off.他们也古怪They're.odd.古怪？是啊他们看上去鬼鬼祟祟的Odd?Yeah,they'resecretiveandwatchful.最近他家前面乂发现了一具尸体Andtherewasadeadbodyfoundinfrontoftheirhouse.我不能因为你的邻居古怪就查他们的背景Ican'trunabackgroundcheckonyourneighborsforbeingodd.哦Oh.就因为这个你想见我？Isthatwhyyouwantedtoseeme?就问我这些？To.toaskmethat?是啊怎久?Yeah,why?在调杳你丈夫案子的时候Well,Ijust.Duringtheinvestigation,我曾经觉得你我问Ijustthoughttherewasakindofa,um.有些火花Sparkbetweenus.我本以为这是次约会Youknow,Ithoughtthismightbeadate.哦不我只是想你帮个忙Uh,no.Ijustwantedtoaskyouafavor.哦那没什么Fine,noharmdone.我从没和那么美丽的女士共进午餐过WhendoIevergettohavelunchwithsuchalovelyladyanyway?约会或者不是Dateor.nodate.你肯定不能去查艾波怀特吗？Areyousurethatyoucan,tcheckontheapplewhites?我就是知道有些地方不对劲1mean,1justknowthatthere'ssomethingthere.我对人有第六感And,youknow,Ihaveasixthsenseaboutpeople.是啊你和杀死你丈夫的凶手定了婚Andyet,yougotengagedtothemanwhomurderedyourhusband.血压很正常Well,yourbloodpressurelooksfine.你可以走了梅尔夫人You'refreetogo,Mrs.Mayer.我见不到罗恩医生吗？Youmean,mnotgonnaseeDr.Ron?复诊的检查我负责Well,1dothefollow-upexams.有问题罗恩医生才会来Dr.Rononlycomesinifthere'saproblem.也许我还是得见他一下Oh,well,maybeIshouldgoaheadandseehimanyway,安全起见justtobesafe.抱歉罗恩医生今天的日程很满msorry.Dr.Ron'sscheduleisverytighttoday.除非你有严重的问题Sounlessyou'rehavingaseriousproblem.你感觉恶心发冷麻木？You'reexperiencingnausea,chillsandtingling,huh?是啊但现在我想Yeah,butnowthatIthinkaboutit,可能只是那天喝多了咖啡Ibetit,sjustallthecoffee1drink.我喝了太多咖啡Idrinkwaytoomuchcoffee.喜欢喝咖啡吗？Doyouliketodrinkcoffee?恩不Uh,no.不No.你手指和脚