The Big Door Prize《大门奖（2023）》第二季第四集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

（钥匙小伙）约翰逊先生摩尔福蝶机坏了Mr.Johnson.Themachine'sbroken.孩子们我知道1know,kids.那破玩意只会给我惹麻烦Thatdangthing,sbeennothingbuttrouble.我已经打给维修店了但估计他们有更重要的活要做Icalledarepairshop,butIguessit'slowpriorityfor'em.抱歉让你久等了Sorrytokeepyouwaiting.我之前要将一窝老鼠移出一个街头霸王游戏手柄IhadtoevictafamilyofmicefromaStreetFighterconsole,那窝老鼠堪比钉子户andtheydidnotgogently.没事你来的正是时候That'sokay.You'rerightontime.来姑娘们吃点糖果吧Here,girls.HavesomeNerds.很快就能继续玩拳击机了多亏了You'llbebacktoboxinginnotime,thanksto.我叫伊恩你一定是Ian.Andyoumustbe.“杂货约翰逊”约翰逊杂货店GeneralJohnson.Johnson'sGeneral.我是说这里是约翰逊杂货店1mean,thisisJohnson'sGeneral.我名叫沃特约翰逊mWalterJohnson.“杂货约翰逊”是我父亲的名字Johnson'sGeneralwasmyfather.天啊Oh,man.从没见过这种机器Neverseenoneofthesebefore.至少有40年了吧It'sgottabeatleastwhat,40yearsold?对是不是很棒Yeah,it'sgreat,isn'tit?我觉得这应该是Ithinktheygaveafewoftheseout宣传“彪形大汉晚餐”时送的附赠品whentheywerepromotingtheBurlyBoydinners.看来宣传手段对我有效Whichworkedonme,Iguess.我吃太多冷冻食品了Ieatsomuchfrozenfood.他们有壮男炖肉强力肉饼TheydotheStrongmanStroganoff,MightyMeatloaf,铁汉芝士通心粉ManlyMacandCheese.单身汉的终极餐品Theultimatemealforthesingleman.单身汉我不相信你是Singleman?Ifindthathardtobelieve.你看明白为什么我修不了吧1.ookatthat.YoucanseewhyIcouldn'tfixthisthing.当然我来就是为了这个嘛沃特Well,that,swhymhere,Walt.你能把那些弯了的老虎钳给我吗Couldyouhandmethosebentnosepliers?这叫扳手Thisisawrench.真抱歉让你到这里面来msosorrytomakeyoucomeallthewayback.都是那些该死的小孩不知道他们做了些什么It'sthesedarnkids.Idon'tknowwhatthey'redoing.完全没事It'sreallynotroubleatall.我一直希望你会打来Iwashopingyou'dcall.真的吗-对Really?-Well,yeah.其实我差点就打给店里了什么Ialmostcalledthestoreactually.-What?我想告诉你我尝了壮男炖肉Well,IwantedtotellyouthatItriedtheStrongmanStroganoff.好的好吃吗Right,whatdidyouthink?不太好吃Notgreat.炖肉不好做TheStroganoffcanbetricky.烹饪说明上说要在塑料包装上切一个洞但我切了两个Theysaytosliceoneholeintheplastic.Islicetwo.如果你想弄点花样Andifyouwanttogetfancy,加热到一半时从高压换到中压alternatefromhighpowertomediumpowerhalfwaythrough.嘿能递给我那个Hey,canyoupassmethe约翰逊先生Mr.Johnson.来吧伙伴我们进去Comeon,partner.1.etsgetyouinside.我得承认这是一针醒脑剂Ihavetoadmit,itwasabitofawake-upcall.不只是因为我的心跳停止了Notjusthavingmyheartstopped,而且提醒了我伊兹竟然是我的紧急联络人butrememberingdmadeIzzymyemergencycontact.我想她是你的紧急联络人这一点才是真的“紧急事件”Iguessherbeingyouremergencycontactwastherealemergency.是的很感谢你收留我波Yeah.It'sverykindofyoutotakemein.Beau,毕竟你和我并不熟悉seeingasyoudon'tknowmeverywell.J先生你说什么呢Whatareyoutalkingabout,Mr.J?我从小就常来你的店里I'vebeencomingintoyourstoremywholelife.我想我总是待在店里Iguess,inspendingallmytimeatthestore,没什么时间去交朋友Ihaven'tleftmuchroomforfriends.你住在这里是我的荣幸Well,itismypleasuretohaveyouhere.而且我还可以练习摆笑脸的技术Plus,Igettopracticemyface-makingskills.你瞧Checkitout.天啊简直像在照镜子Wow,it'slikelookinginamirror.我用M&M豆来当你身上的蓝点看出来了IusedM&M'sforyourbluedots.-1canseethat.如果你不爱吃甜的可以给我Icantake'emoffyourhandsifsweetsaren,tyourgame.不No,我只是有点不好意思mjustabitself-conscious.没什么不好意思的J先生NothingtobeembarrassedabouMr.J.我儿子寇顿生前也有蓝色圆点Myson,Kolton,hadbluedotstoo.汉娜达斯提卡丝也有真的吗SodoesHana,Dusty,Cass.-Really?对我觉得这没什么大不了Yeah,Idon'tthinkit'sabigdeal.我心烦时脑袋上会生发痒的疹子Igetanitchyrashonmyheadwhensomething'sbotheringme.比如有天我找不到我的Stetson帽时1.iketheotherdaywhenIcouldn'tfindmyStetson.一找到疹子就退了AssoonasIfoundit,therashclearedup,挺讽刺的因为我可以用帽子遮住它whichwasironicbecauseInowhadthehattocovertherash.约翰逊先生你要炒掉我吗Mr.Johnson,amIgettingfired?我知道可能莫名少了几包薯片和糖果Iknowthecountmaybeoffonsomeofthechipsandcandy,但我保证我能弥补的butIpromiseIcanmakeitright.不雅克布你做得很好No,Jacob,youdidgood.其实我考虑关店几天Infact,Iwasthinkingofclosingthestore直到我恢复健康forafewdaysuntilmbackonmyfeet.你应该好好休息一下Youdeservesometimeoff.真的Really?你从没关过店Imean,youneverclosethestore.我开始觉得我生病也和那个有关mstartingtothinkthat'spartoftheproblem.嘿雅克布Hey,Jacob.我注意到你把那东西带回家了Icouldn'thelpbutnoticeyoubroughtthatthinghome.噢对摩尔福蝶机进入下个阶段后它就失效了Oh,yeah.ItstoppedworkingaftertheMORPHOwenttothenextstage,但我决定先保管好它以防万一butIdecidedtokeepitsafejustincase.嘿我可以看看说不定能修好它Hey,maybe1cantakealook.SeeifIcangetitworkingagain.你老爸最喜欢做活Youroldmanlovesaproject.J先生你觉得呢Whatdoyousay,Mr.J?我有的是时间vegotnothingbuttime.你居然请了汉娜Ican'tbelieveyouinvitedHana.有什么好惊讶的Whywouldn't1?因为她神神秘秘的Becauseshe'ssosketchy.她对机器的事保密Shekeptsecretsaboutthemachine,她身上还有那些奇怪的小蓝圆点andshehasallthose,like,weirdlittlebluedots.我也有AsdoI.对但你的很好看Yeah,butyoursarechic.你知道她曾和乔吉奥上♥床♥吗YouknowthatshesleptwithGiorgio?知道而他Yes.-Andhe显然和她断了关系obviouslybrokethingsoffwithher,但她没有去争取他卡丝butshedidn'tfightforhim,Cass.一个曾经和乔吉奥经历r哪怕一刻温存的人1.ike,who,havingexperiencedevenoneeroticmomentwithGiorgio,都无法离开他wouldwannagoonlivingwithouthim?我知道你和乔吉奥有次差点接吻And1knowthatyouandGiorgioalmostkissedonce.我没有去争取他但那不同AndIdidn'tfightforhim.-Butthatwasdifferent.你当时和达斯提在一起YouwerewithDusty.达斯提嘿-嗨Dusty.Hey,you.-Hey.不好这什么情况Uh-oh.WhatdidIjustwalkinto?你们俩在议论我对不对Youtwoweretalkingaboutme,aren'tyou?没有我们在议论所有熟人No.Weweretalkingabouteveryoneweknow.好的显然乔吉奥把我和爱丽丝约会的事告诉了娜特Okay.SoclearlyGiorgiotoldNataboutmydatewithAlice.等等倒回去什么Wait.msorry.What?好吧对我和翠娜的老师有过一次约会So,yes,IwentoutonadatewithTrina'steacher.没错那晚结束前我给了她一个拥抱Andyes,Ididendtheeveningwithahug.而且拥抱的时长是正常的And,yes,thehugwasofnormallength.其实最后这点没必要解释That'sanoddthingtoclarify.这是约会的全部内容了That'sthewholekitandcaboodle.没有别的可谈的各位That'sallshewrote,folks.只是那我们能别再聊这话题吗Just.-So,canWejuststoptalkingaboutit?达斯提我们聊的不是这个Dusty,we,renottalkingaboutthat.对乔吉奥都没和我提这事Yeah,Giorgiodidn'tevenmentionittome.我们俩都非常支持“兄弟守则”Wearebothhugeproponentsofthebrocode.而且你和我也决定了不用分享这种事的细节对吗And,youandI,wehaddecidedtonotsharethosekindofdetails.Okay?对我记得-我们聊的是汉娜Yeah.No,Irememberthat.-WeweretalkingaboutHana.噢好吧Oh,right.她要来参加你的读书俱乐部Isshecomingtoyourbookclub?达斯提Dusty.Dusty.我最后说一次Forthelasttime,这不是读书俱乐部itisnotabookclub.这是“讲故事小组”灵感来自纽约市的“飞蛾”组织Itisastoryteller'sgroup,inspiredbyNewYorkCity'sTheMoth.好吗针对一个特定主题每个人准备一个故事Okay?Everyonepreparesastoryaroundaspecifictheme,本周主题是“我最棒的一段关系”andthisweek'sthemeis"Mygreatestrelationship".对你想不想留下来给我们讲讲你的新老师朋友Yeah.Wouldyouliketostickaroundandtalkaboutyournewteacherfriend?不用了No,Iwouldn,t我就不打扰你们了llleaveyoutoit.我只是上来拿点气泡水Ijustcameuptogetsomefizzywater因为地下室的自来水有点“乏味”,causeIwasabitboredofthetapwaterinthebasement但其实不要紧Butthat'sallright.我喝前摇摇就好lljustshakeitup.祝你们读得开心Enjoyyour.reading.好吧-我去.Okay.-mgonna-你没事吧-没事Areyouokay?-Yes.Yes.好的我说过我们可以和其他人交往Okay.-1saidthatwecouldseeotherpeople.只是不知道会这么快Didn'tknowitwouldhappenthatfast,但是嘿我也在交新的朋友比如汉娜but,hey,Iammeetingnewpeopletoo,justlikeHana,所以我才很希望whichisexactlywhyIwouldappreciateit你能给她一个机会ifyouwouldpleasejustgiveherachance.当然但如果最后发现她是心理变.Ofcourse.Butifsheturnsouttobeapsycho.嘿妹子你好吗好啊Hey!-What'sup,girl?Yeah!我带了葡萄酒-请进BroughtSyrah.-Comeonin.如果你不喜欢我不会介意的Ifyoudon'tlikeit,Iwon'tbeoffended.我在酒吧下的贮藏间里发现了一整箱Ifoundawholecaseinthecrawlspaceunderthebar.贮藏间汉娜我很高兴你来了Acrawlspace.msogladyoucouldmakeit,Hana.是抱歉-好的我彳门走这边Yeah,sorry.-Okay.Sowe,regonnacomethisway.多谢你来Thankyouforcoming.（乔吉奥餐厅）天啊你的送餐技术真厉害Wow.1.ookatthatservingtechnique.有没有顾客意见卡我想留条评价Isthereacommentcard?'CauseIhaveacomment.我的服务生工作太出色了Mywaitressistoogoodatherjob.其实这好可爱你决定Youknow,it,sreallycutethatyoudecided在放假的这天过来tospendyourdayoffslowlydrinking慢慢地喝我们餐厅菜单上最便宜的饮品thecheapestitemonthemenuatmyworkplace,但是你真的该去做点好玩的事butyoushouldgodosomethingfun.这就很好玩Iamdoingsomethingfun.我在看你工作mwatchingyouwork.我们之前在"约会但假装不约会”时我一直都想做这件事That'swhatIalwayswantedtodowhenweweredatingbutnotdating.真甜蜜That'sverysweet.但现在我们光明正大地约会了Butnowthatwearedating,在学校时总在一起we'vebeenspendingalotoftimetogetheratschool,放学后周末期间也是太腻平了对吗andafterschool,andontheweekend.-Ifstoomuch,right?我太黏人了mbeing,like,waytoomuch.有点我只是说实话Maybealittle,)ustbeinghonest嗨自恋潮男你在分我家服务员的心What'sup,1.A1.ooks?Areyoudistractingmystaff?不我只是“自恋潮男”No.Iwasjust-1.A1.ooks?我不信任你Idon'ttrustyou.翠娜我不信任他Trina,Idon'ttrusthim.这小子曾玩弄我家萨凡娜的心ThisisthekidwholedmySavannahon.你家萨凡娜-你没听错YourSavannah?-That'sright.乔吉奥继父不是好惹的StepfatherGiorgiodoesn'teffaround.而这个花♥花♥公♥子♥竟然想惹另一个花♥花♥公♥-f-♥Andthiseffboytriedtoouteffaneffboy.敢惹花♥花♥公♥子♥老大就别怕打Ifyoueffwiththejefe,yougetefftheeffedup.等等“花♥花♥公♥子♥"到底是指我还是你Wait,amItheeffboyinthissituationoryou?别耍滑头Don'tplaycoy.我不会的懂Iwon,t.-Allright?小萨和我无话不说SavandItelleachothereverything.有时她的手♥机♥放在一旁收到短♥信♥时Andsometimessheleavesherphoneoutandhertextspopup,我在不知状况的情况下会不小心读到andIaccidentallyreadthembeforeIrealizewhat,shappening.你看到了我发的那些道歉短♥信♥So,yousawmymultipleapologytexts?没有No.但萨凡娜的确说了那些短♥信♥都不怎么真诚哥们ButSavannahdidsaythattheyweren'teventhatheartfelt,bro.所以你还是别打扰我们家姑娘So,whydon'tyoustopbotheringmygirlhere去找你的狐朋狗友玩吧andgohangoutwithyourboys?雅克布没有狐朋狗友Jacobdoesn'treallyhaveboys.嘿我有狐朋狗友一点忠告小翠Hey,Ihaveboys.-Alittleadvice.Tri.工作和生活就如油和醋Worklifeandpersonalaffairsarelikeoilandvinegar.有时可以混在一起Sometimestheywhisktogether变成惊艳的组合例如我们的招牌沙拉酱intoabeautifulcombinationlikeoursignaturedressing,乔吉奥香醋Giorgio,sBalsamico.已注册商标花♥花♥公♥7♥TM,effboy.但混在一起的口味总是不同寻常的Butthey'realwaysdistinctflavors.懂了吗懂了Gotit?-Gotit.我需要你帮忙我要挂一些美丽的画作Now,Ineedyourhelp.mhangingsomebeautifulartwork灵感是我此生挚爱inspiredbytheloveofmylife.等等应该就是她打来Wait,it,sprobablyherrightnow.娜特宝贝Nat,baby.什么不What?No!她为什么去讲故事会不行WhatisshedoingatStorytellers?No.听着并非我不希望你来1.ook,it'snotthatIdon'twantyouhere.不必道歉我懂-我只是觉得Nah,Igetit.-1justthinkit'sgoodforus有时我们有各自的生活挺好的todoourownthingssometimes.可别变成我爸妈那样Wedon'twanttoenduplikemyparents.不健康地互相倚赖无法满足内心愿望-没错Allcodependentandunfulfilled.-Totally.给去游戏厅玩吧Here.Goplayinthearcade.如果你给我赢了一个从1990年代就在那里的橡皮球IfyouwinmetheKooshballthat'sbeentheresincethe'90s,我下班后给你带扭扭薯条llhookyouupwithcurlyfriesaftermdone.挑战接受-好的Challengeaccepted.-Okay.他坐上自己的小船划桨离开Andhegotinhispaddleboat,andhepaddledaway.那就是我最棒的一段关系Andthatwasmygreatestrelationship.天啊Wow.好的这个故事无人能敌了Okay,so,thatistheonetobeat.艾伦你的故事真精彩Thatwassogreat,Ellen.汉娜我们通常在别人讲完故事后鼓掌或打响指AndHana,Weusuallyclaporsnapwhensomebodyfinishesastory.但没事的各位她不知道规则Butthat'sokay,youguys.Shedidn'tknow.谁想来杯咖啡WhowantsaPoddyintheirbody?达斯提你有什么需要吗Dusty,canwehelpyou?你们有什么需要吗CanIhelpyou?我只是想泡一小碟的咖啡Ijustdecidedtobrewasmalltray用PoddyBean的咖啡胶囊来送给我的好闺蜜们ofPoddyBean1Scoffeepodsformyfavoritegalpals.是圣帕特里克节主题的They'reSaintPatrick'sDay-themed.很有意思吧Whichisjustgoodfun,youknow?所以这里有“奶油绿”口味Sowe,vegot"creamyandgreeny'1.不这不艾伦不.No,you'renot-Ellendoesn't-要不要“小清新”口味Willwegofor"lessbold"?这样你们读书期间会更清醒点That'llkeepyouawakeduringallthatreading.噢"神圣烘焙"Oh,"holyroast".汉娜要不要来点Poddy咖啡Hana,didyouwantsomePoddyinyourbody?不了谢谢我现在不太想喝节口主题的咖啡No,thanks.mnotreallyinthemoodforaholiday-themedcoffee.好吧那我就Well,okay,well.I'lljust-我把这个放在这边I'lljustparktheseoverhere,如果你们改变主意可以再来抢andifyouguyschangeyourmind,youcanfightoverthemlater.但不是那种雌竞争执Notlikeinacatfight.不是那个意思Didn'tmeanitthatway.因为这种说法很误导对吧Becauseit'snottrue,isit?女人在一起时并不总是互相竞争Whenwomengettogether,theydon'talwaysfight.所以我们要杜绝这种性别陈见Solet,sendthatgenderstereotypetoday.在这里女人无所不能Here,now,womencandoanything.永远都是Always.其实我是这么想的达斯提YouknowwhatIthinkhashappenedhere?-Dusty.我觉得k丝把我和爱丽丝约会的事告诉你们了IthinkthatCasstoldyouaboutmydatewithAlice.达斯提所以我想澄清一下Dusty.-AndsocanIjustsay,这个丑闻里的拥抱其实时间很短fortherecord,thatthisnow-infamoushugwasn'teventhatlong.最多40秒Fortyseconds,tops.而且在拥抱的时候其实你不会觉得Andwhenyou'reinit,it,snot-Itdoesn'tfeellike我能不能展示一下.-不CouldIdemonstratewithyou-No.好的也没时间展示No,notthetimeforthat.还有谁谁想来个拥抱-不Somebodyelse?Whowantsahug?-No.好吧出于实验的目的我就拥抱自己好了No.Well,forthesakeoftheexperiment,Ishallhugmyself.谁有计时器好了达斯提Ifsomeonehasatimer.-Okay,Dusty,没人在乎你和爱丽丝的事或是你们奇怪的拥抱nobodycaresaboutyouorAlice,oryourweirdhug.我也没想到自己要说这种话但你能不能回房♥间去AndIcan'tbelieveIhavetosaythis,butcanyoujustgotoyourroom?这就去Willdo.谢谢Thankyou.真抱歉msorry.各位美女如果想尝尝Poddy咖啡AndifanyofyouhottieswannagoPoddyinyourcoffee,我在楼下随时效劳llbedownstairs.这不是这.算了That'snot-That's-Fuckit.雅克布对机器终极人机大战It'sJacobversusmachine.ThisisitIt'sallontheline.而且这是全国篮球冠军赛Andyouknowwhat?It'sthenationalbasketballchampionshipseries.我对篮球一无所知而这是决胜的投篮Iknowliterallynothingaboutbasketball,andthisisthebigfinalshot.要命他得分了Holyshit!Hescores.逗我呢有人看到了吗Whatthefuck?Didanyoneseethat?嗨哥们Hey,man.你在读尤利西斯吗-是YoureadingUlysses?-Yep.这书好吗Anygood?这是我第七次读了所以我觉得很好Well,it'smyseventhtimereadingit,soyes.这本书很有意义虽然作者有些自我沉浸It,saprettycrucialtext,evenifit,sabitindulgent.这是为了大学功课还是不我辍学了Isthatforcollegeor-No,Idroppedoutofcollege.教授们都是白♥痴♥Theprofsareallfuckingmorons如果你有原创的想法就给你不及格whogiveyouanFifyouhaveanoriginalidea.是对Right.Yeah.真烂我本希望大学比高中好一点Thatsucks.Iwashopingcollegewouldmaybebebetterthanhighschool.你讨厌高中这很好说明你有脑子It,sagoodthingyouhatehighschool.Itmeansyouhaveabrain.你是崔佛对吗You'reTrevonright?你曾是我爸在冰场的同事对Youworkedattherinkwithmydad?-Correct.波一直表现优秀直到最后放飞自我Beauwasagoodemployeeuntilhewasn't.对你哥哥的事我很遗憾Iwassorrytohearaboutyourbrother.1射谢Thanks.我没有兄弟但我知道被迫长大是什么感觉1don'thaveabrother,butIknowwhatit'sliketogrowupfast.也许这是你对高中不屑一顾的原因Probablywhyhighschoolseemssotrivialtoyou.你体验过真实的人生You'veactuallyexperiencedlife.嘿我其实挺闲的如果你想我们可以一起玩Hey,soIactuallyhavesometimetokillifyouWanna,like,hangorwhatever.“玩”Hanging.我喜欢“一起玩”Ilovetohang.我只是在逗你呢哥们mjustmessingwithyou,man.我很乐意mtotallydown.棒Sick.对我也不知道我为什么说"玩"Yeah,Idon'tknowwhyIsaid"hang".每次听人说这词我都觉得很好笑所以.Ithinkit'shilariouswhenpeoplesaythatso.你一直都喜欢西部主题的东西So,haveyoualwaysbeenintoWesternparaphernalia?其实我爸才是痴迷西部文化的人Well,mydadwasreallytheWesternguy.你还记得我爸吧消防队长当然记得Youremembermydad,thefirechief?-Ofcourse.我想我是因为他而喜欢上的Hegotmeintoit,1guess.我们没有什么其他共同点Wedidn,thavetoomuchelseincommon.我们只在玩拳击袋时才会聊感受OnlytimeWeevertalkedaboutfeelingswaswhenwewerepunchingthatbag.J先生你还记得你送我那个的时候吧Yourememberwhenyougaveittome,Mr.J?因为孩子里只有我能击中“彪形大汉”BecauseIwastheonlykidtoeverhitBurlyBoy.记得Yeah.这玩意要怎么修啊HowthehellamIsupposedtofixthisthing?零部件都不全Itdoesn'tevenhavealltheparts.嗨Hey.天你的存货还真多Wow,youhavequitethecollectionhere.对我有点囤积癖Yeah.mabitofahoarder.去哪儿都喜欢顺手收集物品JustkindofpickuprandomstuffwhereverIgo,但在维修行业里哪天也许就能用得上butyouneverknowwhatyoumightneedintherepairbiz.这是什么-噢对我也不知道What'sthis?-Oh,yeah.Beatsme.一直没修好Nevercouldgetittowork.但很好看It,sbeautifulthough.扬声器看上去像个蝴蝶Thespeakerlookslikeabutterfly.我喜欢蝴蝶Ilikebutterflies.这话说得真好笑“我喜欢蝴蝶”1.istentome.1likebutterflies.但我确实喜欢Idothough.蝴蝶的寿命只有几周但是却没有浪费任何一瞬间Theyonlyliveforafewweeks,but,boy,dotheymakethemostofit.如果你想要的话送你It,syoursifyouwantit.你人真好That'sverykind.我该给你什么回报-不用客气Whatcan1giveyouforit?-Don'tworryaboutit.其实我一直有点愧疚Thetruthisvebeenfeelingbad.你雇了我那么多次去修那台旧机器Youknow,fo