The Big Door Prize《大门奖（2023）》第二季第六集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

（警长不脱鞋）（警长）狗骨头Dogabone嘿宝贝我到家了Hey,heyHey,hon-honey,mhomeJ先生我不知道自己在做什么Idon'tknowwhatmdoing,Mr.J.我知道这是个假头衔假徽章Iknowit'safaketitleandafakebadge.但我辞去了冰场的工作ButIquitmyjobattherink,我只需要找点活干你明白吗andIjustneedsomethingtohangmyhaton,youknow?我不希望自己唯一的身份是“在植物园呕吐的小孩”Idon'twannajustbethekidwhothrewupatthebotanicalgardens.我不想当大家的笑柄Idon'twannabealaughingstock.那就放弃你的潜力卡去看你的视像Sogiveupyourcard,getyourvision.如果它像我的视像那样Ifit'sanythinglikemine,也许能帮助你放下一直以来阻碍你的东西itmighthelpyouletgoofwhateveritisthat'sholdingyouback.（摩尔福蝶机）（你的真我）视像里是我在植物园呕吐Well,itshowedmebarfingatthebotanicalgardens.基本上它逼迫我再次去体验我人生中最丢脸的一天Basicallyforcingmetorelivethemosthumiliatingdayofmylife以可爱的卡♥通♥形式inadorablecartoonformat.你瞧吧这很好See?That,ssuper.这有什么好的Howisthatsuper?如果你人生中最丢脸的一天已经过去几十年了Ifthemosthumiliatingdayofyourlifeisdecadesbehindyou,那以后你的人生只可能越变越好thenitcanonlygetbetterfromhere.什么鬼Whatthehell?沃特Walter!Walt.嗨Hey.沃特你在做什么你在这走什么步子呢Walt,whatareyoudoing?Whatisallthissteppingabout?早安伊兹-别用“早安”来糊弄我Goodmorning,Izzy.-Don't"goodmorning"me.我要提醒你我是你的紧急联络人1.estIremindyou,Iamyouremergencycontact,我可没时间再应付你的心脏病发andIamtoodamnbusyforyoutokeepgoingintocardiacarrest我不怕再来一次心脏病发mnotafraidofhavinganotherheartattack.而且我已经把紧急联络人换成了波Besides,IchangedmyemergencycontacttoBeau,因为他才是在医院陪我的人sincehestayedwithmeinthehospital.你说什么Excuseme?我原本也会陪你的但是我自己Iwould'vestayedwithyoutoo,ifIweren'tsuffering当时也受了伤身体虚弱差点就坐轮椅了fromadebilitatinginjurythatnearlyleftmewheelchairbound.哪种伤-她在迷宫里扭伤膝盖了Whatkindofinjury?-Shetwistedherkneeinamaze.抱歉这位是msorry.Whoisthis?这是我出色的理疗师芙蕾雅Thisismyamazingphysicaltherapist,Freya.也许她能帮你看看膝盖Maybeshecanhelpwithyourknee?正式与你相见真开心伊兹上次竞选中我投给了你It,snicetoofficiallymeetyou,Izzy.1votedforyouinthelastelection.上次竞选中大家都投给了我Everybodyvotedformeinthelastelection.我也不需要帮助AndIdon'tneedhelp.你刚才说你身体虚弱Youjustsaiditwasdebilitating.对于大部分人来说是这样Formost.但作为专业舞者我已学会了撑过任何一种伤痛Butasaprofessionaldancer,velearnedtopushthrougheverykindofpain.生完孩子几小时后我就去跳滑步舞了Iwasdoingglissadeshoursaftergivingbirth.这听起来是很厉害Asimpressiveasthatsounds,但我见过一些人撑过伤痛后完全失去了行动能力veseenpeoplecompletelylosemobilityfrompushingthroughpain.对Yeah.也许你可以来社区游泳池参加我的阻力训练班Maybeyoucanjoinmeforsomeresistancetrainingatthecommunitypool.这主意很棒That'sagreatidea!芙蕾雅-是Freya?-Yeah?我在自家的大水疗池里自己训练Idomyowntraininginalargespabathatmyhome.强力的喷射头提供足够的阻力Thepowerfuljetsprovideampleresistance.好吧如果你改变主意Okay,well,ifyouchangeyourmind.天啊你不达目的不罢休啊Oh,myGod.You'renotgonnaletthisgo,areyou?那好吧Fine.我会去公共泳池参加你的课I'lljoinyouinthepublicpool只要你保证不会有媒体在场solongasyoucanpromisemethattherewillbenopress.我会尽力的llseewhatIcando.（钥匙小伙伦敦现场）（钥匙小伙）嘿卡珊德拉哈伯德哈伯德太太Hey,CassandraHubbard.Mrs.Hubbard.哈伯德妈妈在自家吃她的那碗MotherHubbardinhercupboard.Eatingherbowlsof-天啊达斯提你有什么事吗Oh,boy.WhatcanIdoforyou,Dusty?没什么只是想快速跟你打个招呼Nothing.Justwantedtogiveyouaquick411.学校的爱丽丝可能之后会来家里Alicefromschoolmightbeswingingoveratsomepoint.爱丽丝你在交往的那个女人可能会来家里Alice,thewomanyou'redating,mightjustswingbyhere?她会来送个东西很快的She'sgonnadropsomethingoffrealquick.是临时说好的我刚收到短♥信♥It'salast-minutething.Ijustgotatextaboutit.没什么可紧张的There'snothingtopanicabout.那么.So-你是不是在等包裹Wereyouexpectingadelivery?不那是她我开玩笑的我知道的No,that,sher.Iwaskidding.Iknewthat.天啊我要躲起来吗Oh,myGod.ShouldIhide?什么不你不用躲起来What?No,youdon'tneedtohide.我该躲吗-不你躲什么ShouldIhide?-No.Whywouldyouhide?不谁都不需要躲起来No.Nobodyneedstohide.达斯提去开门-听你的这就去Dusty,getthedoor.-Onitlikeababy'sbonnet.嗨-嗨Hey!-Hi!这是哪位美女啊对Who'sthisgorgeousgirl?-Yeah.它今天有点奇怪She'sbeenalittlebitweirdtoday.就一直在喘气走来走去Youknow,justpantingandpacing.我觉得它只是有点焦虑因为要去Ithinkshe'sprobablyjustanxiousaboutstay-去和陌生人过夜spendingthenightwithastranger.我们很快就不会是陌生人了悠悠对不对Well,wewon'tbestrangersforlong.Willwe,Yo-Yo?真抱歉我找不到狗狗保姆Iamsosorryaboutthis.Ijustcouldn'tgetasitter,而且已经答应了帕特校长要去跳萨尔萨舞anddalreadycommittedtosalsadancingwithPrincipalPat我绝不会拒绝萨尔萨无论是跳舞还是蘸酱Icanneversaynotosalsa.Neitherthedancingorthedeliciousdip.卜丝Cass?贵宾呀-嗨Company.-Hi!嗨-天我想说Hi!-Wow.Youknowwhat?你家房♥子真好看Yourhouseissobeautiful.谢谢你爰丽丝Thankyou,Alice.你的狗真好看Yourdogissobeautiful.你真好看You'resobeautiful.你也很好看Youaresobeautifultoo.两位大美女一个美丽的房♥子Twogorgeousgirls,onebeautifulhome.那么你在忙什么呢So,whatareyouworkingonoverthere?我只是在做一件钥匙小伙外套mjustworkingonalittle1.atchkey1.adzjacket.给我的朋友汉娜做的要好看又华丽Makingitniceandfancyformyfriend,Hana.钥匙小伙对吗1.atchkey1.adz,right?对我比较迷“猛♥男♥孩”乐队Yeah,IwasmoreofaBoyslamgalmyself好的Okay.所以你应该比我年轻一点对吧So,you'reprobablyabityoungerthanme,right?什么不What?No.我觉得没有谁比谁更年轻Idon'tthinkanybodyisyoungerthananybody.不过是看问题的角度不同Ithinkit'sjustdifferentpointsofview.悠悠你觉得呢你更喜欢谁Whatdoyouthink,Yo-Yo?Who'syourfavorite?我喜欢汪汪男团IlikeBarkyBark.其实我该走了Youknowwhat?Ishouldprobablygetgoing.好的-对你还是走吧No,totally.-Yeah.Youshould.Youshouldjustgo.救救自己Saveyourself.达斯提太谢谢你了-不客气Thankyousomuch,Dusty.-Noproblem.跳萨尔萨舞开心呀-谢谢你Havefunatsalsa!-Thankyousomuch.拜拜Bye!来嘿Come.Hey.你女友的狗在我们家So,yourgirlfriend'sdogisinourhouse.她不是我女友She'snotmygirlfriend.她不过是和我约过几次会的女人She'sjustawomanwithwhomvehadsomedates.你是这样和翠娜说的IsthatwhatyoutoldTrina?不我还没和翠娜说因为我觉得那太尴尬了No.Ihaven,ttoldTrinaanythingbecauseIthinkit,dbetooawkward.可别让局面变得尴尬呀Wewouldn'twantthingstogetawkward.你们去吧So,offyougo.你和“悠妞”自己去找乐子吧YouandYo-Hojustdoyourthingandhavesomefun.其实它叫“悠悠”It,sYo-Yo.HernameisYo-Yo,actually,以著名大提琴家“马友友”命名becauseshe'snamedafterthefamouscellistYo-YoMa.爱丽丝算是个大提琴天才Aliceisabitofawhizontheoldcello.虽然此刻你没有要听这种信息Whichisnotinformationyourequirethisminute.我带你下楼来吧llbringyoudownstairs.Comeon.天啊对好的不错Wow.Yes.Okay.Workit.让我们看看你的脸Wor-Nowlet'sseeyourface.天啊抱歉但这位“改头换面”的帅哥是谁啊Oh,myGod.msorry,butwhoisthisfresh-facedzaddy?我感到很不适muncomfortable.你觉得伍兹医生会更喜欢哪种夹紧还是放松WhatdoyouthinkDr.Woodswouldlikemore,clenchedorunclenched?夹紧放松Clenched.Unclenched.可以再来一次夹紧吗-好了够了CouldIseeclenchedagain?-Okay.That'senoughofthat.我们怎么会知道伍兹医生的喜好Sorry,howwouldweknowwhatDr.Woodswouldlike?你是怎么认识伍兹医生的HowdoyouevenknowDr.Woods?我们在医院碰过面Well,wehadabitofamomentatthehospital我当时在照看J先生whenIwaslookingafterMr.).最近我在想你老爸我是时候该AndlatelyI'vebeenthinkingit'sabouttimethatyouroldmangets-“再次上马”了对你说过好几次了Backinthesaddle.Yep.You'vesaiditseveraltimesnow.我需要帮助Ineedhelp.我无法决定mtorn.小猫还是蝎子Kittenorscorpion?小猫两个都不要Kitten.-Neither.显然是小猫刚只是在考验你们Kitten,obviously.Thatwasatest.考验什么你这次约会能有多令人尴尬吗Atestofwhat?Howcringeyyoucouldbeonthisdate?别急你得先看整套Wait.Youneedtoseethefulllook.天啊Oh,God.为什么会这样Whyisthishappening?雅克布这是好事啊他Jacob,thisissogood.He-是吗还是说这种行为冲动且危险Isit?Orisitimpulsiveandborderlinedangerous?他刮了胡子Heshavedhisface.他在我妈去世后第一次要约会这He'sgoingonadateforthefirsttimesincemymomdied.1.ike-雅克布Jacob.我不知道他在视像里看到了什么让他认为这是个好主意Idon'tknowwhathesawinhisvisionthatmakeshimthinkthisisagoodidea.我觉得我们也不需要知道Well,Idon'tthinkweneedtoknow.如果波感到自己性感自♥由♥那我们凭什么质疑他IfBeauisfeeling,like,sexyandfree,thenwhoarewetoquestionthat?而且Andbesides,okay,如果我能容忍♥我爸和我老师偷偷亲热ifIcanhandlemydadhavinghislittlesecretmakeoutsessionswithmyteacher,那你能容忍♥这事thenyoucanhandlethis.晚安两位伙伴Evening,partners.天啊此刻的你如此性感-请别在约会时带上绳索Oh,myGod.Youlooksuperhotrightnow.-Pleasedon'tbringaropeonyourdate.被你骗到了老爸很好笑Yougotme.Dad.That'sgood.沃特什么情况为什么来了这么多人Walter,whatisgoingon?Whyareallthesepeoplehere?这是为老弱病残组织的花样游泳课吗Isthissomesortofsynchronizedswimmingclassfortheinfirm?我们是来参加水中健身班的很高兴你加入我们We'rehereforaqua-fit.Sogladyou'rejoiningus.等等不行我是来上芙蕾雅的私教课的Holdonaminute.No.IamhereforaprivatelessonwithFreya.不是来公共泳池和一群老年人戏水的Nottosplasharoundinacommunalpoolwithabunchofgeriatrics.不芙蕾雅的课不只针对老年人伊兹No.Freya,sclassisn'tjustforoldpeople,Iz.也适合高水平运动员lt,salsoforhigh-performanceathletes.本身材紧实的小鲜肉每周都来你会爱上这课的Myyoung,tightassishereeveryweek.You'regonnaIoveit.最棒的一点是课后我们会给自己奖励Andthebestpartisthatafterclass,werewardourselveswithColumbo去杰拉德家看刑侦剧玩QuiddlerandQuiddleratGerald'shouse.杰拉德你好吗What'sup,Gerald?你看起来真健壮宝贝You'relookingfit,baby.You'relookingfit.抱歉什么是“quiddler”msorry.Whatisa"quiddler"?什么伊兹真的你没听过QuiddlerWhat?Forreal,Iz?Youdon'tknowQuiddler?出名的短词游戏“无限欢乐尽在咬文嚼字”Theshortwordgame,"Forthefunofwords"?你能第一次玩我太羡慕你了msojellyyougettoexperienceitforthefirsttime.不我根本不会去玩这课我也不参加No.Iwillnotbeexperiencingitever.Northisclass.别这样伊兹试试嘛Comeon,Iz.Giveitachance.你会很喜欢芙蕾雅的她是理疗大♥师♥You'regonnaloveFreya.She'saPTmaster.大家都崇拜她Everybodyworshipsher.这可不一定We,llseeaboutthat.好来吧宝贝我爱死水中健身了Allright.1.et'sgo,baby.Ifuckingloveaqua-fit.下水吧1.et'sdunkourtrunks!（贝福德酒吧）晚上好汉娜Evening,Hana.这不是新上任的警长吗你要来逮捕我Ifitisn'tthesheriff.Youheretoarrestme?是我要逮捕你以谋杀之名Yeah.mheretoarrestyouformurder.你杀了那些孩子Youkilledthosekids.天啊波-抱歉我不擅长即兴我太紧张了Jesus,Beau.-Sorry.Ican'timprov.mtoonervous.你觉得哪张桌子最适合约会Whichoneofthesetableswouldyousayisthebestforadate?要我说选那张灯光刺眼的桌子,dsaytheonewithreallyharshlighting它就在屋子的正中间rightinthemiddleofeverything.完美从那里能清楚地看到门Perfect.llhaveagoodviewofthedoorfromthere.我是开好吧mkid-Okay.哥们一行听我说我不会喝酒Dude.-Okay,listen,mnotgonnadrink.我只是来盯着我爸他的这次约会非常关键mjustheretokeepaneyeonmydad,who,sonaveryhigh-stakesdate.好吧这样的话我很愿意被吊销卖♥♥酒执照Okay.Yeah.Inthatcase,Iwillhappilylosemyliquorlicense.汉娜拜托你算是欠我个人情Hana,comeon.Don'tyouthinkyoukindaoweme?完全没有不Idon'tthinkthatatall.No.记得我哥哥寇顿吗RememberKolton?Mybrother?曾来你酒吧的那位Theonewhocametoyourbar.然后你没告诉我他来过你的酒吧Andthenyoudidn'ttellmehe'dcometoyourbar,你隐瞒关于他的信息好几个月andyoukeptsecretinformationabouthimformonths.你真的要把你哥当作谈判策略Areyoureallyusingyourbrotherasanegotiationtactic?我不希望他的死毫无意义1don'twanthimtohavediedinvain.我猜这场约会是受了他视像的后发massumingthisdateissomehowinspiredbyhisvision?我猜也是这样massumingthattoo.天啊这些视像真够奇怪的God,thesevisionsarefuckingweird.之前那样让别人给你看潜力卡要简单轻松得多了Itwassomucheasierwhenyoucouldjustasksomeonetoshowyoutheircard.我只希望她不会让他久等Ijusthopeshedoesn'tkeephimwaiting.他一紧张脑袋就出红疹Hegetsaheadrashwhenhe,snervous.狗狗还好吗非常好谢谢How'syourdog-sitgoing?-Supergroovy.Thanks.对特别可爱而且很好相处Yeah.Suchalovelydog.Andsochill.我听见你哀求它坐下求了20分钟结果如何'CauseIheardyoubegginghertositfor20minutes.Mow'dthatturnout?它现在正坐着甚至已经躺平She'ssittingnow.1.ayingdown,ifyou'dbelieveit.糟糕-你在找东西Shit-Areyoulookingforsomething?不我只是在想我们把旧毛巾放在哪里No.No,Iwasjustwondering,wheredowekeepouroldtowels?不在厨房♥里-对Notinthekitchen.-Right.我也好奇橡胶手套的去向Iwasalsojustcuriousastotheavailabilityofrubbergloves.橡胶手套Rubbergloves?一切都还好吗Iseverythingokay?噢很好.Oh,yeah.Yeah.只是需要旧毛巾橡胶手套Justneedoldtowels,therubbergloves.如果有没用的牙线也请给我一点Andifyoucouldtosssomeunwaxeddentalflossmyway.好吧发生了什么Okay,whatisgoingon?就你记得之前提到的悠悠吗Well.doyourememberYo-Yofrombefore?记得Yeah.它在楼下的日子不太好过She'shavingabitofatimedownthere.好吧怎么个不好过法Okay.Whattime?我觉得它在分娩卡丝-分娩怀孕的那种分娩Ithinkshe,sinlabor,Cass.-1.abor?1.ike,birthinglabor?狗狗分娩没错Puppylabor.Yeah.你怎么知道的Well,howdoyouknowthat?一开始我以为它只是焦虑Well,firstofall,Ithoughtitwasjusttheanxiety,然后我觉得它是反应过激之后又以为是放屁andthenIthoughtshewasmaybeovereating,andthenIthoughtitwasgas.但根据互联网以及我触碰到的ButaccordingtotheInternetandthemassesswimmingaround它小肚子里动来动去的物质inherlittlebellythatIcouldfeel,应该是要生了it'shappening.好吧Okay.好的你打给兽医了吗-打了Okay,didyoucallavet?-1did.兽医说如果它已经确立了分娩的窝Theysaidifshe,salreadyestablishedherbirthingnest,那我们不该打扰它weshouldn'tdisturbher.已经有“分娩窝”了吗是的Istherealreadyabirthingnest?-Yes.Yes.就在我的床上It'sinmybed.所以我们只需要毛巾和橡胶手套Sowejustneedthetowelsandtherubbergloves.牙线是为了脐带用来割断血Andthedentalflossisfortheumbilicalcord,tocutofftheblood-好了听我说这次我帮你救场Okay,listen.Iwillbailyououtthisonetime.好吗因为事关一个小动物的生命Okay?Becausethere,sananimal'slifeatstake.明白但这事结束时Understood.-Butattheendofthis,小狗狗由我来抱Igettoholdthepuppies.悠悠坚持住Hanginthere,Yo-Yo.好的Okay.大家做得很好加油1.ookinggood,guys.1.et'sgo.五四三二一Andfive,four,three,two,one.按自己的节奏来慢慢地抬起右腿Atyourownpace,slowlyliftyourrightleg.如果你准备好了垂直地让膝盖靠近身体Andifyoufeelready,bringyourkneeperpendiculartoyourbody.但不用感到必须今天就做到Butdon'tfeeltheneedtogettheretoday.像这样1.ikethis.不其实完全不是这样No,actually,notlikethatatall.尤其是你的膝盖需要放松而不是伸展Yourknee,especially,needstoberelaxed,notextended.但我的膝盖完全伸展而我也很放松Butmykneeisfullyextended,andIamperfectlyrelaxed.我的要求不是这样接下来请仔细听我说NotwhatIaskedfor.Trytolistencloselynexttime.好了各位“跑者”开始Okay,everybody.Runningman.1.et'sgo!天好疯狂Yo.Thisiscrazy.你们俩之间剑拔弩张的Thereissomuchtensionbetweenyoutwo.我是说性张力1.ike,sexualtension.芙蕾雅和我之间吗BetweenFreyaandme?你怎么会有这种想法Whatonearthmakesyousaythat?我以前没见过她这样训斥某人Ihaveneverseenhercallsomeoneoutlikethatbefore.兄弟“张力”一触即发啊Thetensionispalpable,bro.后背挺直Straightback.常常有人因为羡慕嫉妒恨而对我刻薄Well,peopleareoftencrueltomeoutofenvyandjealousy.好的但说真的伊兹Okay,butlook,Iz.其他人也会在课上走神但她不会训斥他们There'sotherpeoplegoofingoffinclassandshe,snotcomingdownonthem.约翰逊先生总是潜水不出来Mr.Johnsonjustkeepsdunkinghimselfunderwater.我潜了多久啊Howlongwasthat?大约49秒J先生About49seconds,Mr.J.我还能更久重新开始Icangolonger.Restart!我跟你说伊兹我很会看性氛围mtellingyou,Iz.Icanpickuponsexualvibes.她对你说话的方式Andthewaysheistalkingtoyou-她是个女王这点我向来不会看错-是个什么IknowadomwhenIseeone.-Awhat?伊兹如果你无法专心大可以去大厅里闲聊的Izzy,ifyoucan'tpayattention,you,rewelcometotakeyourchatintothelobby.来吧大家这里Herewego,everybody.Hereandhere.Hereandhere.一触即发Palpable.加油啊老爸已经45分钟了Comeon,Dad.It'sbeen45minutes.至少看一下手♥机♥什么的Atleastlookatyourphoneorsomething.他大概已经心如死灰但自尊心不允许他离开He'sprobablydyingontheinside,buthe'sjusttooproudtoleave.天啊我实在看不下去了God,Idon'tknowhowmuchmoreofthisIcouldtake.什么又不好笑What?It'snotfunny.挺好笑的你看起来比你♥爸♥更焦急It'sprettyfunny.Youseemmoreanxiousthanyourdad.汉娜我知道这种情况我知道自己焦虑1knowthis,Hana.1knowIam.不知为何焦虑基因全传给了我BecauseIsomehowgotalltheanxiousgenes.我爸和寇顿就能MydadandKoltoncouldjust,like,关掉大脑看球赛打瞌睡turnofftheirbrainsandwatchfootballandtakenaps.而我要帮所有人操心所有的事AndIhadtoworryabouteverythingforeveryone.对你哥来我的酒吧时的确看起来莫名无忧无虑Yeah.Yourbrotherdidseemweirdlycarefreewhenhecametomybar.至少对于想违法的人来说是Atleast,forsomeoneattemptingtobreakthelaw.他用过摩尔福蝶机吗DidheusetheMORPHOmachine?什么-寇顿去你酒吧的时候What?-Kolton,whenhecametoyourbar.我好像没问过但你说摩尔福蝶机也在酒吧里对吗Ididn'tthinktoaskbefore,butyousaidtheMORPHOwasthere,right?对但我不知道Right.ButIdon,tknow.我没见过他用所以我不确定Imean,Ineversawhimuseit,somnotsure.很抱歉-没关系msorry.-That'sokay.不过又是一件我永远不会得知的关于我哥的事罢了Addittotheever-growinglistofthingsllneverknowaboutmybrother.等等我爸在干嘛他要走了Wait.What'smydaddoing?Isheleaving?你的叉子掉了Droppedyourfork.不只是捡起某个人的叉子NoJustpickingupsomeone'sfork.晚安Goodnight.并回到自己的桌子.andgoingbacktohistable.这是你这辈了见过最可悲的画面了吧Isthisthesaddestthingyou'veeverseeninyourlife?我总是在酒吧里Youknow,vespentalotoftimeinbars,但是这画面几乎算得上是最可悲的了but,it'sgettingthere.好的这首不错温柔安抚心灵安静的古典乐Okay,thisisagoodone.Thisisagoodone.Nice,soothing,calmclassicalmusic.我们要为悠悠创造一个美好佛性的环境没错We'r