托福作文写作范文详解ociet.docx

托福作文写作范文详解ReadingNeartheendofhisIifeztheChevalierdeSeingalt(1725-1798)wrotealongmemoirrecountinghislifeandadventures.TheChevalierwasacontroversialperson,butsinceheknewmanyfamousandinfluentialpeopleofhisday,includingkingsandwriters,hismemoirhasbecomeavaluablehistoricalsourceaboutEuropeansocietyinthemidtolateeighteenthcentury.However,somecriticsareskepticalregardingthelegitimacyandaccuracyofthememoir.TheyclaimthattheChevalierdistortedorinventedmanyeventsinthememoirtogivehislifetheappearanceofglamourtomakeitseemmoreexcitingthanitreallywas.Forexample,inhismemoirtheChevalierwritesthatwhilelivinginSwitzerland,hewasverywealthy.Itiscertainthathespentagreatdealofmoneythereonpartiesandgambling;however,evidencehasrecentlybeenuncoveredsuggestingthattheChevalierborrowedlargesumsofmoneyfromaSwissmerchant.CriticsthusarguethatiftheChevalierhadindeedbeenasrichashewritesinhismemoir,hewouldnothaveneededtoborrowmoney.CriticsarealsoskepticalaboutexaggerationsandfalsificationsintheconversationsthattheChevalierrecordsbetweenhimselfandthefamouswriterVoltaire.ItisahistoricalcertaintythattheChevalierandVoltairemetandconversed.However,criticsassertthatthememoircannotpossiblycapturetheseconversationswithtotalaccurately,giventhatitwaswrittenmanyyearsaftertheoriginalconversationsoccurred.Criticspointoutthatitisatbestunlikelyandatworstimpossibletorememberexactphrasesfromconversationsheldmanyyearsearlier.Criticshavealsocalledintoquestionthememoir'saccountoftheChevalier'sescapefromanotoriouslyfamousprisoninVenice,Italy.TheChevalierclaimstohaveescapedtheprisoninVenicebyusingapieceofmetaltobreakaholeintheceilingandthenclimbthroughtheroof.Criticsclaimthatwhilesuchadaringescapeisanenjoyableread,itismorelikelythattheChevaliersjailerswerebribedtofreehim.CriticsalsopointoutthattheChevalierhadanumberofpoliticallywell-connectedfriendsinVenicewhocouldhaveofferedabribe.ListeningProfessor:Nomemoircanpossiblyrecordeveryexploitanddetailwithtotalaccuracy,butstillztheChevalier'smemoirisoverallfairlyconsistent,clearandaccurate;itiszbyandIargezareliablehistoricalsource.Let'stakealookattheaccuracyofthethreeepisodesmentionedinthereading.Firstztheloanfromthemerchant.Itisclearthatthisdoesn'tmeanthattheChevalierwaspoor.Letmeexplain.WeknowthatinSwitzerland,theChevalierspentasmallfortuneonpartiesandgambling.Hehaswealth.Butitwasn'teasilyaccessiblefunds;hiswealthlayinproperty,whichyouhavetosellfirsttogetmoney.Soitusuallytookafewdaystoconverthisassetsintoactualmoney.Sowhenheranoutofcashzhewasforcedtoborrowsomewhilehewaswaitingforhismoneytoarrive.Inhiseyes,asmallpricetopayforhislifestyle.Second,theconversationswithVoltaire.Inhismemoir,theChevalierstatesthateachnightzimmediatelyafterconversingwithVoltairezhewrotedowneverythinghecouldrememberaboutthatparticularnight'sconversation.ItseemsthattheChevalierkepthisnotesoftheseconversationsformanyyearsandusedthemasareferencewhenwritinghismemoir.WitnesseswholivedwiththeChevalierinhislaterlifeconfirmedthatheregularlyconsultednotesandjournalswhencomposingthememoir.ThirdztheChevalier'sescapefromaprisoninVenice.OtherprisonersinthesameprisonhadevenmorepowerfulfriendsthandidtheChevalierzandnoneofthemwereeverabletobribetheirwaytofreedom.Thismakesbriberyhardlyseemlikelyinhiscase.Thebestevidence,though,comesfromsomeolddocumentsfromtheVenetiangovernment.ThedocumentsstatethatsoonaftertheChevalierescapedfromprison,theceilingofhisoldprisonroomhadtoberepaired.Whywouldtheyneedtorepairaceilingunlesshehadescapedexactlyashesaidhedid?阅读听力要点概括ReadingPassageMainpoints:SomeclaimChevalierdistortedorinventedmanyeventsinthememoir.Subpoint1:Hewasverywealthybutstillborrowslargesumsofmoney.Subpoint2:Exaggerationsandfalsificationsinconversationsafterwritingitdownmanyyearslater.Subpoint3:Theprisonbreakisquestionable;maybehebribedhiswayout.LectureAttitude:Thememoirisoverallaccurate.SubPoint1:Loandoesn'tmeanpoor.(Hehasproperties.)SubPoint2:Conversationsarewrotedowneverynight(Witnessconfirmedheconsultedthenotes.)SubPoint3:Otherprisonershavebiggerfriends.(Documentssaysceilingofprisonneedtorepair.)范文逐段赏析Paragraph1ThereadingpassageraisesseveraldoubtsabouttheaccuracyandobjectivityofthememoirwrittenbytheChevalierdeSeingalt.Incontrast,theprofessordefendsthememoirbyclarifyingtheseemingcontradictionsintheChevalier'saccounts.此段功能：（Listeningpassage后文提到用L代替）（Readingpassage后文用R代替）作者用自己的话复述了R的观点，R对chevalier的回忆录的准确性和客观性有疑问。L表示了反对的逻辑关系，L准备澄清R的几点疑问。此段结构：开头段在总结双方观点表达逻辑关系的时候，没有很无聊的把L观点再写一遍：L认为回忆录是正确的并且做出了几点辩论；而是换了一个说法：L准备澄清Ro这样的表达让人觉得眼前一亮。Paragraph2TheprofessorarguesthatwhilehewaslivinginSwitzerland,theChevalieroccasionallyhadtoborrowfundstopayforexpensiverecreationalactivitiesbecausehewasrichinassetsbutpoorincash.Accordingtotheprofessor,havinglowamountsofcashisnotthesameasbeingdestituteorfinanciallypoor.Theaddedtransactionofborrowingtemporaryfundsmayhavemadehimappearthisway.Thereading,howeverzholdsthatassomeonewhohadtoborrowlargeamountsofmoneyfromothers,theChevaliermighthavefabricatedstoriesofhiswealthylifeinSwitzerland.此段功能：作者在第一点解释上先给出L的证据：C在瑞士居住需要借钱来办活动是因为他的财富都是资产而不是现金。现金流低并不等于贫困，虽然借钱使他看起来有些拮据。反观R,认为老是要借大笔钱的可能就是为了伪装他在瑞士的奢侈生活。此段结构：此段为分分结构，作者对C要借钱，分别给出了L和R的解释。Paragraph3Moreover,theprofessorchallengesthechargesoffabricationinthereadingregardingthereliabilityoftheChevalier1sconversationswithVoltaireinthememoiroftheformer.BecausetheChevalierhadahabitofrecordingeachconversationwithVoltaireimmediatelyaftertheymetzassertstheprofessor,hewasabletoreferencethesedocumentswhenwritingabouttheirdiscussionsindetailevenyearslater.此段功能：在第二点，对话的准确性这样事情上。作者说R认为有在对话多年后来回忆有伪造成分，L为了反对，说明C习惯在每次对话后都立刻记录日志。在多年后写回忆录时，都可以用日记来参考。此段结构：此段为分分结构，作者的写作手法是：L为了反对R（复述R观点）,举出了一系列证据。最后达成了L的目的。Paragraph4FinallytheprofessorrejectstheclaiminthereadingthattheChevalierbribedhiswayoutofaVenetianprison.Becausenoneoftheotherprisoners,eventhosewithbetterresourcesthantheChevalier,hadbeenabletobribetheirwayoutofjailitseemsbriberywasanunlikelysolutiontotheChevalierzsimprisonment.Furthermore,shepointstoagovernmentpaperthatrecordedtherepairworkdonetotheChevalier'sprisoncell,citingthisasstrongevidencethathisescapebybreakingaholeintheceilingoftheprisonandescapingwasindeedaccurate.此段功能：在最后一点越狱细节中，作者想说L准备反驳R的贿赂越狱说。L指出其他的犯人，更有背景的犯人，都没能像C一样贿赂出狱。更甚的是,L指出当地报纸报道在C越狱后有一次C狱室天花板的维修记录,这意味着C是真的挖开天花板逃跑的。此段结构：此段为分分结构，作者详细阐明了L为了反驳R的某论点，展开的一系列证据。范文全篇总评1、逻辑结构全文遵从总分结构，开头段阐述L和R各自观点并表明逻辑关系。随后三个论段中，作者客观详细了展示了双方证据要点。使得辩论看起来有理有据。2.语言表达在复述证据和论点的时候，作者改了不少词语，把句子重新构架使得读者不会觉得乏味。其中可以借鉴的词句有：Objectivity:客观性/Impartiality/Historianshouldstriveforobjectivity.Recreational:娱乐的，消遣的/Leisure/Entertaining/Thoseinvestmentbankershardlyhadanytimeforrecreationalactivities.Destitute:赤贫的/Penniless/Theearthquakeleftthousandsdestitute.Citing:弓用z弓证/Quotation/Citingmanyexamplesfromnormallifecanproveatheory.