托福作文写作范文详解tenti.docx

托福作文写作范文详解题目:Successfulsportsprofessionalscanearnagreatdealmoremoneythanpeopleinotherimportantprofessions.Somepeoplethinkthisisfullyjustifiedwhileothersthinkitisunfair.Discussboththeseviewsandgiveyourownopinion.话题和题型分类工作类；双边讨论题型题目分析运动员收入高是否公平思路提示A.公平运动员年轻的时候体力消耗大，年老后患有职业病没有一技之长，退役后很难找工作为国家做贡献，给青少年起着榜样作用B.不公平工资的高低应有所承担的社会责任来决定科学家和国家领导人的贡献比运动员更大SampleAnswerAsaresultofconstantmediaattention,sportsprofessionalshavebecomestarsandcelebrities,andthoseatthetoparepaidhugesalaries.Somepeoplethinkthisisfullyjustifiedforsuccessfulsportsprofessionalstoearnmuchmoremoneythanpeopleinotherimportantprofessionswhileotherholdanoppositeviews.Iaminfavoroftheviewthatitisfairforsportsprofessionalstoearnagreatdealofmoney.（首段开篇摆明观点:成功的运动员获得巨额的收入是合乎情理的）Manypeoplefindtheirrewardsunfair,especiallywhencomparingthesesupersalarieswiththoseoftopsurgeonsorresearchscientists,orevenleadingpoliticianswhohavetheresponsibilityofgoverningthecountry.Howeverzathletes/salariesarenotdeterminedbyconsideringthecontributiontosocietyapersonmakeszorthelevelofresponsibilityheorsheholds.Instead,theyreflectthepublicpopularityofthesportingeneralandthelevelofpublicsupportthatsuccessfulstarscangenerate.Sothenotionof“fairness“isnottheissue.（文章第二段从作者观点的反面切入，再进行正面论述，使得论述更加客观辩证）Thosewhofeelthatsportsstars'salariesarejustifiedmightarguethatthenumberofprofessionalswithrealtalentisveryfewzandthemoneyisrecognitionoftheskillsanddedicationapersonneedstobesuccessful.Competitionisconstantandaplayeristestedeverytimetheyperformintheirrelativelyshortcareer.Thepressurefromthemediaisintenseandthereislittleprivacyoutofthespotlight.Thusallofthesefactorsmayjustifythehugeearnings.（本段是文章第三段列出三个论据论证作者观点）Personally,Ithinkthattheamountofmoneysuchsportsstarsisjustifiednotonlybecauseoftheburdenfrommediaandthepublic,butalsobecauseoftheintensityoftrainingandcompetition.Thehugesalaryalsoindicatesthatoursocietyplacesmuchvalueonsport.（最后一段总结全文突出观点）满分要素剖析：语言表达本文的语言简洁明了观点清晰,文中一系列的连接词使得文章更加连贯:howeverzso,insteadzthuszbutoSomepeoplethinkthisisfullyjustifiedforsuccessfulsportsprofessionalstoearnmuchmoremoneythanpeopleinotherimportantprofessionswhileotherholdanoppositeviews.Iaminfavoroftheviewthatitisfairforsportsprofessionalstoearnagreatdealofmoney.句型Iaminfavoroftheviewthat可用于议论文开头提出观点。逻辑结构本文是总分总结构的议论文。开篇先陈述事实并表达观点，第二段从反面切入后转向正面，第三段继续从正面论述观点，使得论证更加客观严谨。第四段对全文进行总结，并重申自己的观点。ReadingAnimalfossilsusuallyprovideverylittleopportunitytostudytheactualanimaltissues,becauseinfossilstheanimals'livingtissueshavebeenlargelyreplacedbyminerals.Thus,scientistswereveryexcitedrecentlywhenitappearedthata70-million-year-oldfossilofTyrannosaurusrex(T.rex)zadinosaur,mightstillcontainremainsoftheactualtissuesoftheanimal.ThediscoverywasmadewhenresearchersdeliberatelybrokeopentheT.rexzslegboneztherebyexposingitsinsidestorevealmaterialsthatseemtoberemainsofbloodvessels,redbloodcells,andcollagenmatrix.First,thebreakingofthefossilizedlegbonerevealedmanysmallbranchingchannelsinside,whichprobablycorrespondtohollowsintheboneswherebloodvesselswereoncelocated.Theexcitingfindingwasthepresenceofasoft,flexibleorganicsubstanceinsidethechannels.ThissoftsubstancemayverywellrepresenttheremainsoftheactualbloodvesselsofT.rex.Second,microscopicexaminationofthevariouspartsoftheinnerbonerevealedthepresenceofspheresthatcouldbetheremainsofredbloodcells.Testsshowedthatthespherescontainediron-amaterialvitaltotheroleofredbloodcellsintransportingoxygentotissues.Moreover,thesphereshaddarkredcenters(substanceswithirontendtobereddishincolor)andwerealsoaboutthesizeofredbloodcells.Third,scientistsperformedatestonthedinosaurlegbonethatshowedthatitcontainedcollagen.Collagenisafibrousproteinthatisamaincomponentoflivingbonetissue,inwhichitformsaso-calledcollagenmatrix.Collagen(oritschemicalderivatives)isexactlythekindofbiochemicalmaterialthatonewouldexpecttofindinassociationwithbonetissue.ListeningAsmuchaswewouldliketohavetheremainsofactualdinosaurtissue,therearesoundreasonsforbeingskepticaloftheidentificationsmadeinthereading.First,thesoft,flexiblesubstanceinsidethebonechannelsisnztnecessarilytheremainsofbloodvessels.Itismuchmorelikelytobesomethingelse.Ijkewhat?Youmightsay.Wellzlongafteranorganismisdied,bacteriasometimescolonizehollows,emptyareasinbones,likethechannelsthatonceheldbloodvessels.Whenbacterialivedinsidebones,theyoftenleavebehindtracesoforganicmaterial.Whattheresearchersinthereadingareidentifyingasbloodvesselsmightjustbetracesofsoftandmoistresidueleftbybacteriacolonies.Allright.Whatabouttheiron-filledspheres?Well,theproblemisthatscientistsfoundidenticalreddishspheresinfossilsofotheranimalsfoundinthesameplace.Thatincludesfossilsofprimitiveanimalsthatdidnothaveanyredbloodcellswhentheywerealive.Clearlyzifthesespheresappearinorganismsthatdidnothaveanyredbloodcells,thenthespherescannotbetheremainsofredbloodcells.Thespheresprobablyhaveaverydifferentorigin.Theyareprobablyjustpiecesofreddishmineral.Third,thecollagen.Theproblemisthatwehaveneverfoundcollageninanimalremainsthatareolderthanonehundredthousandyears.Collagenprobablycannotlastlongerthanthat.Findingcollagenfromananimalthatlivedseventymillionyearsagowouldreallycontradictourideasabouthowlongcollagencanlast.Itisjusttooimprobable.Themostlikelyexplanationforthepresenceofcollagenisthatitdoesn,tcomefromtheT.rex,butfromanothermuchmorerecentsource.Forexample,humanskincontainscollagen,sothecollagenmayhavecomefromtheskinoftheresearcherswhoarehandlingthebone.一、阅读听力要点概括ReadingPassageMainpoints:ArecentlyfoundT.rexfossilmightcontainactualtissuesofthedinosaur.Subpoint1:Smallchannelswithorganicsubstanceinsidelegbonecouldbebloodvessels.Subpoint2:Presenceofironspherescouldindicateredbloodcells.Subpoint3:Collagenmatrixbeingshowedafteratest.LectureAttitude:Skeptical.SubPoint1:Bonechannelscouldbecausedbysomethingelselikebacteria.(Bacterialeaveremains)SubPoint2:Ironfilledspheresmaynotindicateanyredbloodcells.(Onnobloodcellanimal,couldbemineral.)SubPoint3:CollagencannotlastIongerthan100,000years.(Couldbeskin)二、范文逐段赏析Paragraph1ThelecturerextendspossibleexplanationsbeyondtheconclusionsmadeonthenewlydiscoveredT.Rexfossilandsuggeststhattheexistingevidencecanpointtosomethingotherthanjusttheremaininganimaltissues,assuggestedinthereadingpassage.此段功能:（Listeningpassage后文提到用L代替）（Readingpassage后文用R代替）以L的观点出发，指出L和R的逻辑关系为againstoR觉得新发现的恐龙化石上的一些现象表明了化石可能保存了恐龙本身的生物组织。L觉得R中列举的证据不足以支持R的观点，遂用这些证据举出新的观点，做出更合理的解释。紧接着可以展开讨论。此段结构：作者用一句话表明了逻辑关系和观点。注意L只是怀疑R的发现并做出新解释，不是从发现到结论都反对Ro逻辑关系就是L怀疑R的观点并做出新的解释，同时在句中具体复述了R的观点是恐龙骨上有生物组织。Paragraph2First,thebranchingchannelsinthatlegbonemaybetracesofcoloniesofbacteria,sincebacteriaalwaystakethehollowsinabonestructureandgrowthemselvesfollowingtheexistingcontoursoforganicmaterial.Andthesoftsubstanceinsidethechannelscouldbetheresiduesofthesebacteriacolonies,ratherthandesiccatedbloodvessels,assuggestedbythereadingmaterial.此段功能:对第一个现象L和R的争论。先复述L的观点，骨头中的细小通道里的生物体可能是由于细菌死亡的原因。随即说明，这些个生物体不是R中说的由于血管留下的。此段结构：此段为分分结构。作者先写L对发现残留生物体的解释，从发现到解释之间的想法，然后再说明同样的发现R是怎么解释的。Paragraph3Second,thereadingassumesthereddishspheresfoundintheboneareredbloodcells,citingtheircolorandsize.Butotherfossilsofprimitiveorganismsinthesamegeneralareaalsocontainsimilarreddishspheres.Withtheknowledgethatsuchprimitiveorganismscouldnotyethaveevolvedredbloodcells,thereisgoodreasontobelievethatthesespotsareonlyreddishmineraldeposits,andnotbloodcells.Thereadingagainmakesanimprudentconclusionhere.此段功能：对第二个现象，发现红色球状体，L和R分别进行了解释。R觉得这些红色球的形状和大小意味着他们可能是骨头里的血红细胞。L觉得这样不对，因为在一些原始生物体(PrimitiVec)rganism)的化石上，也有这样大小颜色的红色球，但这些原始生物根本没有血红细胞。所以对于红色球更合理的解释是，他们是红色矿物质的沉积。L还说R的这种解释太不谨慎了。此段结构：此段为总分结构，作者在第一句中用R的结论做总，然后接下来的L的两句话，先补充现象再补充结论，推翻了R的结论。Paragraph4Third,notasinglesampleofcollagenfoundtothisdateisolderthan100thousandyearsinage.Thecollagenfoundatthesitespokenofinthepassage,however,islocatedinaseventymillionyear-olddinosaurfossil.Sincethistissuecanhardlysustainsuchalonghistory,itssourcemaynotbeaprehistoricanimalzbutrathertheskinofresearchers.Hence,thefinalconclusionofthereadingiscastindoubt.此段功能：在第三个现象的争论上，同样是发现了骨胶原组织。L说现在证据表明存在任何大于IoOQoO年骨胶原组织，更何况一个70,000,000年的恐龙化石。对于骨胶原组织出现的合理释，不是R所说的史前动物留下的，更有可能是近代学者留下的，比如皮肤。所以R的结论十分值得怀疑。此段结构:此段为了达到最后证明R的结论不靠谱，L先列举了组织可能是骨胶原的条件，然后说发现的组织完全不符合这个条件，所以只能尝试用新的观点去解释他。最后达到怀疑R结论的目的。三、范文全篇总评1、逻辑结构全文遵从总分结构，开头段表明L的主要逻辑是怀疑和立出新解释，这篇文章里L并不是一个全盘否定的态度，更多的是遵从证据尝试做出更完整更合理的解释。随后三段依照3个分论点依次展开。一个观点的确立有3步骤：发现证据或现象，合理解释现象（解释最好带有普遍性），最后确立观点。为了推翻一个观点，对第一步，第二步都可以进行攻击。在第一，第二分论点中，作者说明L没有怀疑R发现的证据，只是作出了不同解释。在第三论点中，L对R发现的证据都觉得不合理，自然不同意R的结论。2、语言表达文中并没有涉及太多有难度的连接词，单词难度主要来自专业名词。可以借鉴的句式有:1. Thelecturerextendspossibleexplanationsbeyondtheconclusions（旧的结论）madeonthenewlydiscovered（新的现象和证据）andsuggeststhatthe（新的结论）同学们觉得L和R没有强烈的对抗情绪，而L是打算对R做出进一步解释可以用这样的句式。2. Imprudent：不谨慎的，不明智的/Careless/Unthoughtful/3. Itisimprudentofyoutolendmoneytoastranger.4. Castindoubt:有疑问的/Suspectful/Undetermined/Theoldtheoryhascastindoubtbysomenewlyfoundevidence.