Futurama《飞出个未来（1999）》第八季第二集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

（葫芦戏剧）（我们停播时发生了什么事?）（老妈牌老式机器人润滑油）（单身狗粮）他把他的夹克当成某种安慰毯Aw.He'susinghisjacketassomekindofsecurityblanket.真是可爱又可悲That'ssocuteandpathetic.真的是Itreallyis.你就做自己,怪胎Youdoyou,weirdo!我刚刚在吸我的夹克Oh,hey,guys.mjustsuckingonmyjacket.一千多年前有一陀蜂蜜糖果黏在上面AClump-O-Honeycandygotstuckrightthereoverathousandyearsago,我还能尝到味道andIcanstilltasteit.知道谁也想尝尝吗？YouknowwhoIbetwouldlikesomeofthat?我,佐艾伯格Me!Zoidberg.噢,不Oh,no!佐艾伯格,都被你舔光了Zoidberg,youresiduehog!现在我只能尝到蟹汁味NowallItasteiscrabjuice.那就再买♥♥一个夹克糖果So,buyanotherjacketcandy.买♥♥不到了Ican't.Theystoppedmakingit这糖果被重新归类为工业胶后他们就停产rafteritgotreclassifiedasindustrialglue.那班德我就来复刻食谱Ah.ThenI,Bender,willrecreatetherecipe.别忘了,我曾在小小厨神获得第三名Don'tforget,IcameinthirdonMasterChefJunior.我可以尝一下吗?MayIhaveataste?当然,你看起来是有嘴巴的生物Sure.Youseemlikethekindofguywhohasamouth.糖尿病休克Whoa!Diabeticcoma!我最好多加一点糖才不会这么甜Hm.Ibetteraddsomesugartomakeitlesssweet.（糖）（萨皮队长,糖浆）就一点点糖浆Andjustatouchoftreacle这让我想起我亲爱的已故的胡妮塔阿姨toremindmeofmydeardepartedAuntJuanita.她就是淹死在糖浆里的Shedrownedintreacle.你们知道我在地上快死了吧Youknowmdyingonthefloor.（蜂蜜糖果）好吃Mm.Yum.所以,你们觉得怎样？So,whatdoyouthink?很完美,班德,很值得黏在夹克上Mm!It'sperfectBender.Totallyjacketworthy.有点黏It'salittlesticky.是太黏了It'salotsticky!里面有点硬硬的Andthere'ssomethinghardinit嘿hey幸好我是修补人类牙齿的专家1.uckily,manexpertatfixinghumanbeakbones.周五你有空来赴昂贵的约诊吗？AreyoufreeFridayforanexpensiveappointment?我看一下,打开行事历1.etmecheck.Opencalendar!（活动提醒,2023年1月12日建立）奇怪,我20年前建立了一个活动提醒Shmeird.There'ssomeoldalertIsetup20yearsago.（预产期）我们的宝宝？Ourbabies?!时间到了,亲爱的It,stime,mylove.基夫Oh,Kif!你们在说什么？Thehellareyoutalkingabout?跟人类生命周期有关？Somethingtodowiththemeatbaglifecycle?没错,班德That'sright,Bender.Manyyearsago,多年前,我和艾米一起Igavebirthtoaclutchoftadpoles生了一窝小蝌蚪withAmybymyside.我有生产影片,想看吗？Ihavevideoofthebirth.Wannaseeit?不要No!这种生产方式不对Thatisthewrongkindofdelivery!哇,天啊Oh,Nelly!Oh!生命真恶心1.ifeisdisgusting.不,这很美但我当时还没准备好当妈妈No,itwasbeautiful.ButIwassonotpreparedtobeamother.20年后,他们会长出腿像小孩一样爬回陆地In20years,they'llsproutlegsandcrawlbackontolandaschildren.我到时候会准备好的llbereadythen.艾米,你现在准备好了吗？Well,Amy,areyoureadynow?跟你一起组织家庭Havingafamilywithyou是我在这世上唯一想要的istheonlythingIwantinthewholeworld.那你的车可以给我吗？ThencanIhaveyourcar?不行No!太迟了,我已经把车子撞坏了Toolate.Ialreadycrashedit.（两栖九号♥星）好刺♥激♥Oh,thisissoexciting!诞生仪式随时会开始Thebirthceremonywillbeginanyminute.多谢你警告Thanksforthewarning.都别形容给我听Anddon'tdescribeittome!我们来了We'rehere!妈、爸！Mom!Dad!好开心你们赶来了Oh,msogladyoumadeit!我们不会为了一百万元Oh,wewouldn'tmissthebirthofourgrandbabies错过孙子们诞生foramilliondollars.因为我们很有钱,那根本是九牛一毛'Causewe'resorich,that'slikeapenny.天啊Oh,my.是接生婆It'stheGrandMidwife.我是接生婆IamtheGrandMidwife!我是你的粉丝Bigfan!我是克洛克族的基夫IamKifoftheclanKroker.我知道,从你的头就看得出来Iknow.Irecognizeyourhead.这位是我的爱侣,艾米Andthisismysmizmar,Amy.我们是来接我们的孩子Wehavecometoreceiveouroffspring.在你们过渡到父母的身分期间我会担任你们的顾问和指导Asyoutransitiontoparenthood,Ishallbeyourcounselandguide.我这么做是出于对传统的庄严尊重Idosooutofsolemnrespectforourtraditions而不是因为有人会在那个篮子里随喜捐钱andnotforanyoptionalcashdonationpeoplesometimesplaceinthatbasket.谢谢-是绿色篮子,上面有写Thankyou.-It'sgreen,andthere'salittlesignonit.找到了Foundit!（小费）那么诞生仪式开始ThentheEmergenceshallnowcommence!或还没开始,这很难说看来我要即兴发挥了Ornot.It,sunpredictable.这里有外地来的吗？Guessllhavetowingit.Anybodyherefromoutoftown?他们来了0-oh!Heretheycome.天啊,我焦虑到伪装镜面自己启动了Ohmy.msoanxious,mycamouflagereflexiskickingin.不,这很有用No,it'shelpful.我想在我们几百个小孩面前好看些Iwannalookcuteforourhundredsofkids.我们必须站在一旁观看,不可介入Weshallnowstandby,withoutinterfering,我们所观察的这场可怕过程被称为asweobservethesacredprocessknownas.适者生存theWinnowing.那是什么意思？Whafsthatmean?意思是先不要预期有几个Itmeansdon'tstartnamingthemyet.有四个存活下来了Fourofthemmadeit!呃,三个半吧Well,threeandahalf.黑湖来的小生物YoungcreaturesoftheBlackLagoon,去找你们父母吧gonowtoyourparents.有事吗？Uh,canIhelpyou?在这里Overhere!他们真可爱They'reperfect.她在碰他们Ew.She'stouchingthem.基夫和艾米,珍惜这群孩子Cherishthesechildren,KifandAmy,因为他们很漂亮fortheyarebeautiful.我是说所有孩子都很漂亮Eh.Well,in-inthesensethatallchildrenarebeautiful.对啦我懂蜕变完成Thetransformationiscomplete!我们欢迎这片土地上的新生命Wewelcomethesenewbeingsoftheland.他们可以叫我队长叔叔TheycancallmeCaptainUncle.我要去处理这医疗废弃物Uh,I'llgodisposeofthismedicalwaste.加点奶油和柠檬Withalittlebutterandlemon.想跟孩子们合照吗？-不用了Wantapicturewiththekids?-Noneed.他们的模样让我无法忘记Thewaytheylookisburnedintomymind.他们很不错,就是有点They'renice,youknow?JustakindaIittle-超恶心Supergross.但你们终于当外公外婆了But,you'refinallygrandparents.这就当我们的小秘密吧That'llbeourlittlesecret.（问我有孙子了没）（不要问我有没有孙子）（行星快递）（纤维块,加酱）天啊Ohmy.谢谢你在午餐时间带孩子们来找我Thanksforbringingthekidsbyformylunchbreak.他们比午餐还甜蜜They'rethesweetestthingonthemenu.才不是Notevenclose!我有疑问这三个宝宝的身高完全不一样Uh,question.Thesethreebabiesaretotallydifferentsizes.（加油,瓢虫）问号♥Questionmark.他们的成长速度Oh,well,theygrewatvaryingrates取决于他们所处的水温dependingonthetemperatureofthewatertheywerein.小蝶螺是在冰冷深水处1.ittleNewtherewasinacold,deeparea.妈妈Mama!又叫错了Wrongagain.曼蒂是在温和的中层区Mandyisfromthetemperatemiddledepths.他又干又瘪He'sshrively!是你少见多怪了Youhaven,tseenthehalfofit.阿索是在温暖的浅水区就跟他爸爸一样AndAxlisfromthewarmshallows,justlikehisoldman.你一定要提到我吗？Doyoualwayshavetotalkaboutme?为什么这一个老是叫我妈妈？SowhydoesthisonekeepcallingmeMama?他怎么这么怪,只有一个大眼晒？Andwhat'swiththebigweirdeye?这不怪,就跟你一样It,snotweird.Itlookslikeyours.这很奇怪It'sprettyweird.为什么他长得像我？Whywouldhelooklikeme?你不记得了吗？Don'tyouremember?20年前,你让基夫怀孕了Twentyyearsago,youimpregnatedKif.不会吧?天啊,我当时一定喝超醉Seriously?Oh,myGod.Imusthavebeensuperdrunk.莉拉,你这白♥痴♥,你没做♥爱♥1.eela,youbonebrain!Youdidn'thavesex.“啪啪”Bone.幸好有一部教育影片解释了1.uckily,there'saneducationalmovie基夫的物种是如何繁殖thatexplainshowKifsspeciesreproduces.而且很淫秽Andit,sfilthy.哇赛愿景教育影片出品YowzaVisionEducationalFilms宇宙各地的性♥爱♥presentsSexAcrossTheUniverse.好好教育我,宝贝Oh,yeah!Educateme,baby.本周介绍两栖星人Thisweek,theAmphibiosans.对于宇宙的每个生物来说Foreveryorganismacrosstheuniverse,繁殖是充满激♥情♥的性♥爱♥过程reproductionisasteamy,eroticprocess.除了两栖星人ExcepttheAmphibiosans.他们只要轻轻碰手就好但我们其他人要经由性♥交♥Theyjustbarelytouchhandswhiletherestofusaregettin,iton.咔赛Yowza.好火♥辣♥喔Eh,thatwasprettyhot.所以你看,艾米是我的爱!吕So,yousee,Amywasmysmizmar,光是她的存在就让我接受怀孕theonewhosemerepresencemademereceptivetopregnancy.所以我是他们的妈妈Whichmakesmetheirsmizmama.但贡献DNA的是莉拉ButitwasLilawhocontributedtheDNA因为她意外碰到基夫的手whensheaccidentallytouchedKifshand.你确定我当时没喝醉？AreyousureIwasn'tdrunk?我是说,我现在醉了I-Imean,mdrunknow.妈、爸Ew!Mom,Dad!莉拉1.eela!?Willyoustayinourlovers'story?Ifyoustay,youwon'tbesorry?'Causewebelieveinyou?Soonyou'llgrow,sotakeachance?Withacoupleofkookshunguponromancing?Willyoustayinourlovers'story?Ifyoustay,youwon'tbesorry?'Causewebelieveinyou?（便便）?Soon,you'llgrow,sotakeachance?（蓝色-红砖色）?Withacoupleofkooks?Hunguponromancing?把我的脑袋充满气,然后回家吧1.et'sreinflatemyheadandgohome.好,也许他们会唾著我们就会有一点自己的时间Yeah.Maybethey'llconkoutandwe'llgetalittleustime.孩子们是最棒的旭照顾他们太累Thoselittleguysarethebest,butthey*realot.幸好我们两人可以分工合作Well,luckily,there'stwoofustosplitthework.行星民♥i♥秩序?Doop,doo-doo-doop,doop,doop,doop,doop!?布宁根队长,请吩咐,长官CaptainBrannigan!Atyourservice,sir.稍息,中尉,我有消息通知你Withease,Lieutenant.Ihaveabitofnewstosayatyou.是关于你说你有寄婴儿礼物给我们吗？我们还没Isitaboutthebabygiftsyouclaimyousent?Becausewestillhaven't恐怕现在没时间讨论我买♥♥了许多礼物mafraidthere'snotimetodiscuss有些礼物很大themanypresentsIbought,someofwhicharelarge.士兵,你要奉命报到Soldier,youareorderedtoreportforduty.开战了吗？Isitwar?我希望,但不确定1hopeso,butwe'renotsure.我们只知道AllweknowisthatDOOPhaslostradiocontact与大熊座的一个偏远前哨站失去了无线电联♥系♥witharemoteoutpostinUrsaMajor.通话完毕Overandunder.很抱歉你要独自照顾孩子们msorryyou'llhavetohandlethekidsalone.我不担心mnotworried.（雨云号♥）我爱你们Iloveyou!点名！Rollcall!四眼、单眼、蟹人、罐头人"Foureyes.""One-eye.""Crabman.",Canman."谁管你"Whocares?"唉呀!艾米在哪里？Dammit!Where'sAmy?我需要什么,更大的鹿角？WhatdoIneed,abiggerantler?对不起Oh,mso,sosorry.保姆没有出现Thebabysitterdidn'tshowup.终于打通了Finally.你在哪里？Whereareyou?抱歉,小妞Sorry,toots.我一定是记错地址了西28街784号♥?1musthavetheaddresswrong.784West28thStreet?奇怪,我就是这么写的Uh-huh.Weird,th-that,swhatIgot.（限五分钱硬币）是地球喔!我发誓你说的是克卜勒IOb星球Oh,Earth!AhlCouIdasworeyousaidKepler10B.看来我要搭下一班世代飞船问纳特利Guess11catchthenextgenerationshipbacktoNutley.妈,你能当我们耳语比赛的评审吗？Mom,Mom,Mom!Canyoujudgeourwhisperingcontest?好,你准备好了吗?我输了Okay.Youready?!lose!来追我啊0h,comeon!Oh-瞧我在工作tl晚上喝矿泉水1.ookatme,chuggingmineralwateronaweeknight!如此狂野白♥l±l♥Sowildandfree!（曼蒂）我好想他们-我懂你,士兵Imissthemso.Ifeelyou,soldier.这次不毛手毛脚Andnotinahandsywaythistime.好黏Sticky.等你哭完,把这碗糖果带到我宿舍Bringabowlofthesecandiestomyquarterswhenyou'redonecrying.谢谢你帮我看孩子,莉拉Thanksforofferingtowatchthekids,Leela.你不知道我有多需要休息一下Ineedabreaksobad.Youhavenoidea.我知道,你很明显累坏了我懂他们犹如恶梦No,it'sclearyou'reawreck,andIgetit.They,reanightmare.我是说甜蜜可爱的恶梦A-Asweet,adorablenightmare.有道理,孩子们？That'sfair.Kids!妈妈要睡一下,你们别吓到莉拉Mommy'sgonnagonap-nap.Don'tbescaredofLeela.她很-莉拉妈妈She'svery-Yay!MommyLeela!哇呜！Cowabunga,dude!你要的蜂蜜糖果唉呀TheClump-O-Honeysyourequested,Capt-Ohjeez.行星民♥主&hearts湫序如果没其他事,我你别走Ifthere'snothingfurther,Iwill-Ohno,youwilln't.这些好吃的糖果不是用来吃的ThesedeliciousClumpsaren'tforeating.Mm!是用来除毛的They'reformanscaping.帮我撕掉,基夫,这是命令Manscapeme,Kif.That'sanorder.那是什么？-我从没见过这种东西Ooh!-Whoa!What'sthat?Ineversawoneofthosebefore,我大概四天前才刚出生andIwasborn,like,fourdaysago.这是装船机It,sashiploader.有没有好动儿想来一场筋疲力尽的跑步机比赛？Anyhyperactivekidshereupforanice,exhaustingtreadmillrace?酷！Ohwow!Cool!Imean,cool.天啊,希望这招有用God,Ihopethisworks.正在接近前哨站,长官还是没有任何讯号♥的回应Approachingtheoutpost,sir.Stillnoresponseonanyfrequency.天啊,下面发生什么事？MyGod.Whatthehellhappeneddownthere?看起来像是整个星球都是牛皮癣Itlookslikethewholeplanethaspsoriasis.你是在看我的后脑勺,长官You'relookingatthebackofmyhead,sir.欢迎来到第38号♥外空生物学站WelcometoExobiologyStation38.唉呀!雷射用完了Dammit!mouttalaser!你好,先生,这前哨站安全吗？Um,hello,sir.Isthisoutpostsecure?行星民♥主&hearts湫序已经好几个月没收到你们的消息TheDOOPhasn'treceivedanyresponsefromyouinmonths.对,发射机被大熊破坏了Oh,yeah.Transmittergotrippedupbybears.我们就是在这里研究大熊我是大熊生物学家That'swhatwestudyhere.Bears.mabearbiologist.听起来是有趣但薪水很低的工作Soundslikeafunjobthatpaysbad.我曾是鲸鱼生物学家,但我讨厌鲸鱼Iusedtobeawhalebiologist,butIhatewhales.讨厌M!们Hatethem.你能找到你喜欢的动物真好Well,thenit'sgoodyoufoundananimalyoulike.没有,我还在找Nope.Stilllooking.这种熊类被称为水熊虫就是“丑陋”的委婉说法Thisbearspeciesisknownastardigrades.It'safancywordforugly.不要吵,笨熊Oh,shutup,youstupidbear!艳们也很笨,是我发现的,熊生物学家They'realsostupid,bytheway.Idiscoveredthat.Bearbiologist.我把发射机修好了Ifixedthetransmitter.我现在可以回家陪家人了吗？-立刻回去,但首先.Now,mayIpleaseheadhometomyfamily?Withoutdelay.Butfirst,先吃个糖果？candybreak?你疯了吗?彳也们要是闻到人类食物他们会发狂的Areyoubatcrackers?Iftheysmellhumanfood,theygobatcrackers!看来们认出同类的顶端掠食者Itseemstheyrecognizeafellowapexpredator.四个就能开打Well,fourcanplayatthatgame.基夫!救命！Kif!Help!快走!再快一点！1.et'sgo!Faster!Faster!快走,马脸Go,horseface,go!帮我们买♥♥冰淇淋Now,buyusicecream!兰姆酒葡萄干尝起来就像毛毛虫Rumraisintastesjustlikecaterpillars!我们爱你,莉拉Weloveyou,Leela.不行,你不是他们的妈妈-什么？Aw,hellno!You'renotthemomofthem!你想把我的孩子们宠坏好让他们更爱你吗？What?-Areyoudonespoilingmykidsrottensothey'llloveyoumore?我只是被打败的马mjustabeaten-downhorse.那你可以回马厩了Well,youcantrotbacktothebarnnow!基夫就快回来了而且你不是他们的妈妈Kifscominghomesoon,andyouarenottheirmom!其实我算是-出去,滚Uh,actually,Isortofam.Goon!Git!Hyah!哦，上帝，他们在抚摸我！OhGod,they,renuzzlingme!喂？Hello?拜托快回家,小基Pleasecomehome,Kiffy!孩子们更喜欢莉拉,真让人伤心ThekidslikeLeelamorethanme,anditreallyhurts.我是世上最烂的妈妈mtheworstmomever.除了我妈妈Exceptformyownmom.Stoplickingmyvelour!It,sdrycleanonly!艾米,亲爱的,孩子们爱你,我也爱你Amy,darling,thechildrenloveyou.AndIloveyou.远离我的阴囊！Andstayawayfrommyscrotums!你是他们的妈妈,永远都是You'retheirmother,andyoualwayswillbe.这点没人能改变Nothingcanchangethat.艾米王？这群孩子的母亲身分受到质疑AmyWong,achallengehasbeenfiledforthemotherhoodofthesechildren.不No.艾米,我这就回去,我发誓Amy?Amy,mcominghome,Iswear.（行星民♥主♥秩序）我现在必须离开,长官1havetoleaverightnow,sir!行星民♥主♥秩序永远不能丢下同袍No,KifiTheDOOPneverleavesamanbehind!尤其那个同袍是我Notwhenmtheman!（开启）好,大熊们,老子要来送你们.Alright,bears.Daddy'scomingtotuckyouin.上路.toyourgraves.我就在外面等llbeouthere.谁都不能带走我的宝宝们他们是我的一切Nobody'stakingmybabies!They'reeverythingtome!我很欣赏你在我耳边激动地大吼大叫Iappreciateyouremotionalshoutinginmyearhole,但只要有人的父母身份受到质疑我都必须处理butImustintervenewheneverparenthoodiscalledintoquestion.接生婆？-别一副惊讶的样子,莉拉GrandMidwife70h,dropthesurprisedact,Leela.你怎么能这样？-我怎样了？Howcouldyoudothis?-Dowhat?用吸管把果冻甜甜圈的果冻吸出来吗？Suckthejellyoutofthejellydonutswithastraw?不是这只果冻猎犬叫我来的Thisjellyhounddidnotsummonme.测验结果显示伴侣没有贡献DNA时便自动提出质疑ThechallengeisautomaticwhentestsshowtheSmizmarcontributednoDNA.（王克洛克的子女）（阿索/曼蒂/蝶螺）Thechildreninheritedgenes孩子们只遗传到基夫和莉拉的基因onlyfromKifandLeela,还有些许DNA来自某个黑遢鬼”plustraceDNAfromacertainScruffy.遨遢鬼的玩意无处不在Scruffy'sStuffgetsaround.（XXX修剪）如果质疑内容指出其他人是母亲,便应由那个人.Shouldthechallengeindicatesomeoneelseisthemothenthenthatperson.或那个生物之类的抚养孩子eh,orwhatever.shallraisethechildren.但是But.But.你和基夫必须出席明天的质疑庭审YouandKifmustbepresentforthechallengetomorrow.再见Goodday.对了,提醒你一下,你这里沾到果冻了Yeah,FYI,y-you,vegotalittlejellyrightthere.有人召唤杀虫剂吗？Didsomebodycallanexterminator?真好玩，帮帮我，KifIt,sbeenablast.Helpme,Kif!他们在我的腰带上发现秘密糖果！Theyfoundthesecretcandyinmygirdle!我是伪装的杀人机器macamouflagedkillingmachine.抱歉我之前太嫉妒了,莉拉m.msorryIgotsojealous,Leela.我就失控了-没关系Ijustkindalostit.-It'sokay.父母与孩子之间的纽带是很强烈的Thebondparentsfeelwiththeirkidsisintense.有此一说,我很自豪能帮你成为妈妈soIhear.mjustproudIhelpedyoubecomeamom.希望你明天出庭顺利Ihopeitworksoutforyoutomorrow.如果没有Andifitdoesn,我相信你会照顾好他们msureyou'lltakegoodcareofthem.我拒绝死得这么卑贱Irefusetodiegroveling.但我愿意哭著死去Butmopentosniveling.裸体的基夫,你救了我的命NakedKif,yousavedmylife!我会永远对你效忠Youhavemyundyingloyalty.吃基夫!他没骨头！EatKif!He'sboneless!这一枪是为阿索曼蒂和小什么来著打的Thisone'sforAXLMandy,andlittlewhat,s-his-name.我是那天的接生婆IamtheGrandMidwifefromtheotherday,艾米王受质疑案的法官inquisitorforthechallengeofAmyWong.艾米,你的爰侣呢？Amy,whereisyoursmizmale?他没陪我来Heisn'twithme.悲哀啊!耻辱啊！Oh,thesorrow!Oh,theshame!他来了Thereheis!好,但耻辱不会减少Okay,butitdoesn'tlessentheshame.基夫-艾米Kif!-Amy!爸爸.爸爸Daddy!我不记得他Idon'trememberhim.所以你去打仗了吗？So,like,didyoudowarstuff?我尽了做父亲的责任IdidwhataDaddyhadtodo.第23号♥大熊也很笨Bearnumber23wasalsostupid,我在吃生鞋鱼时!会抢残渣fightingforscrapswhileIdinedonsalmontartare.不给你们,鲁蛇！Noneforyou,losers!审理质疑案可能会持续数天或数周Thechallengemayplayoutoverdaysorweeks审问过程会很残酷withinthebrutalconfinesoftheInquisidome.有人叫它提基屋Somecallitatikihut.我们在里面时,莉