Futurama《飞出个未来（1999）》第八季第七集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

（试试拔掉再重新插入）（老妈牌老式机器人润滑油）（单身狗粮）（恢复正常,3023年庆典）恭喜各位市民！Congratulations,fellowcitizens!3023年将以战胜3023willgodowninhistory新冠病毒的一年载人史册“astheyearwetriumphedoverCOVID-19!暂停播报战胜新冠病毒插播特别报导WeinterruptthetriumphoverCOVID-19foraspecialreport.Anewvirus-一种新病毒拜托行行好0h,forPete,ssake.一种被命名为爆怒病毒23的新病毒AnewvirusdubbedEXPLOVID-23（爆怒病毒23）在居住于纽约地底下的变种人当中爆发hasbrokenoutamongthemutantswhodwellbeneathNewNewYork.症状包括失明、无法控制的爆怒！Symptomsincludeblinding,uncontrollableanger!还有轻微咳嗽,我没咳嗽,我没事Aswellasamildcough,whichIdon'thave.mfine.本市正实行全面禁止出入下水道的命令Acompletetravelbantoandfromthesewers由本市最胖的警♥察♥执行isbeingenforcedbythecity'sfattestpoliceofficers.再见爸、妈,爱你们Bye,Mom!Bye,Dad!Loveya!永远爱你Feh.Alwayswiththelove.我们已经抱过你了,还用说吗？Wealreadyhuggedyou.Now,wegottatalkaboutit?抱歉我迟到了Sorrymlate.怎么了？What?动起来,懒鬼们,有货要送1.et'smove,yousofasnails!We,vegotadelivery!现在我很荣幸颁发本市最高奖项Andnow,mproudtopresentthecity'shighestaward,把时代广场酒柜的钥匙thekeytotheTimesSquareliquorcabinet,颁给真理的超级传播者tothesuperspreaderoftruthhimself科学头比尔奈！BillNye,theScienceHead!恭喜,科学先生Congratulations,Mr.Science.我帮你调麦克风1.emmejustbendthatmicforyou.感谢大家给我这极其可疑的荣誉Thankyouforthistremendouslydubioushonor.在经历了一千年的新冠疫情后.Afterwhatseemedlike1,000yearsofCOVID.但其实更久But,wasactuallymore!我宣布疫情正式结束.Ideclarethepandemictobeofficiallyover.注意往哪里咳,蝴蝶结Ugh.Watchwhereya'scoughin',bowtie!唉呀!真令人火大Ow-zers!Forcryingoutloud!（欢庆!）我在运用空气动力学原理musingtheprinciplesofaerodynamics离开这里togetthehellouttahere!（下水道流感迅速蔓延）（怒不可遏）再来一次Doitagain!爆怒大流行？Anangerpandemic?我不想指责谁,但那是莉拉传染的Nottopointfingers,butLeela'sspreadingit.不是我,你们这群笨蛋Iamnot,youjerks!我只是比平时稍微更生气一点而已mjustrunningacoupledegreesangrierthannormal.好消息,被感染者们Goodnews,infecter-inos!我研发出一种检测方式能测出谁感染病毒I'vedevelopedatesttoseewho'sgotthevirus谁只是天生爱生气andwho,sjustnaturallymean.只要把这棉花棒戳进你的鼻子YousimplyjamthisQ-tipupyournose.戳到鼻子里最深处way,wayupyournose,采集脑物质样本andcollectabrainmattersample.看起来满好玩的Thatlookskindafun.我迫不急待想戳个几百次Ican'twaittodoithundredsoftimes!现在就等这两个控制点下方出现一条线Now,Wewaitforalinetoappearunderthetwocontroldots.如果线条是向上弯,那就没染疫Ifthelinecurvesup,you'refine.姑且一试Heregoesnothing.这一定是搞错了,教授Thiscan'tberight,Professor!你的检测法跟你这丑八怪一样烂Yourteststinks,andsodoesyouruglyface!不,她染疫了Ohno!She'sgotit!把她隔离在爆怒圆顶舱里Quarantineherintheangrydome!笨蛋卑鄙的臭王八蛋.Stupid,stinkin',lousy,nogood,sonofa虽然我们还不知道病毒是怎么传播的Whilewedon'tyetknowhowthevirusspreads,但确实知道是以愤怒为基础wedoknowit'sanger-based.（理查尼克森）因此我发布一项行政命令Iamthereforeissuinganexecutivearoo要求每个人都戴上耳罩thateveryonewearamaskovertheirears以防止令人不悦的言论传播topreventthetransmissionofupsettingremarks.艾格纽,过来Agnew!Come!总统先生,这怎么可能防止Mr.President,howcouldthispossiblybeoftheslightest-谢谢大家,既然我没听到提问Thanks,fellas.SinceIdon'thearanyquestions,那么记者会结束thisprrressconferenceisadjourned!为谨慎起见今后所有工作都采取远距模式Outofanabundanceofcaution,allworkwillhenceforthgoremote并使用新的Gloom视讯会议appusinganewappcalledGloom.在某些方面这方式会更好Insomeways,itwillbebetter.尤其是像我们有家人的人Especiallyforthoseofuswithfamilies.德怀,不要乱入你♥爸♥爸的视讯会议Dwight,stopGloom-bombingyourdad,smeeting!去把裤7穿上Andputonsomebritches!嘿,拉芭芭拉,你奶奶怎么样？她好多了吗？Hey,LaBarbara.How'syourgrandma?Sheimprovin'?对,她还好-祝福她Yeah,shedoingalrightGivehermybest.我出了点问题mhavingtroublewithmy-有人听到Anybodyhear-无线网路问题.Wi-Fiissueshungry.饿rBender,youidiot!（矽米）班德,笨蛋,你一定要现在吃东西吗？Doyouhavetoeatthosenow!?我从来都不需要吃东西Idon'thavetoeatanythingever.我警告你mwarningyou!你能怎样？Whatareyougonnado?这科技还真是日新月异Wow,thistechnology'scomealongway.我其实喜欢用GloomIactuallylikeworkingonGloom.这些发型滤镜省了我不少时间Thesehairfilterssaveatonoftime.教授,你变成泰迪熊了Uh-wha.-Professor,you'reateddybear!我向你保证我不是IassureyouIamnot.我可以在这里续领我的处方药吗？IsthistheGloomroomwhereIcanrefillmyprescriptions?不行,这里是快递公♥司♥No!Thisisadeliverycompany!你们可以帮我送处方药吗？Canyoudelivermyprescriptions?可以,但我们送不了Wecould,butwewon,t!这真是彻底失策Oh,thisisadismalfailure.大家都亲自到办公室来Everyonereporttotheofficeinperson.但是教授,这样会违反卫生安全标准But,Professor!Thatisaviolationofhealthandsafetystandards.我们的所有工作都会违反卫生安全标准EverythingWedoisaviolationofhealthandsafetystandards!就戴口罩Justwearamask!（行星快递）我们对付的是具有高度传染性的病毒Wearedealingwithahighlycontagiousvirus,所以我们要实行中看不中用的卫生措施sowe'llneedtopracticehygienetheater.（三明治,漂白水）我听说其实根本没有病毒Youknow,Iheardthere'snotreallyevenavirusatall.这只是一大骗局,就像登陆月球It,sjustabighoax,likethemoonlanding.你上周才刚去月球,你还在火星长大Youwereonthemoonlastweek!YougrewuponMars!那是他们想让你这么认为That'swhattheywantyoutothink!不要再说阴谋论了各位Ugh.Enoughwiththeconspiracytheories,people!我们来看看事实1.et'slookatthefacts.透过唾液传播的不合理爆怒Irrationalrage,spreadthroughsalivaandspit,不断生气地发牢骚constantangrymoaning.这都是丧尸主义的It'salltheclassicsymptoms.典型症状ofzombie-ism!丧尸？拜托喔zombie?comeon!不可能-那完全毫无科学根据,赫米斯That'scompletelyunscientific,Hermes.爆怒病毒感染者的移♥动♥速度太正常不可能是丧尸EXPLOVIDvictimsmoveatwaytoonormalaspeedtobezombies.丧尸有各种速度Thereareallspeedsofzombiesoutthere!有快的,有慢的,有轻快滑行的Fastones.Slowones.Briskshufflers.但解方始终都-样But,thecureisalwaysthesame.巫毒Voodoo.胡说八道Balderdash!在弗莱那个时代大家就已经不相信巫毒了PeoplestoppedbelievinginvoodoobackinFry'stime.但.巫毒依然相信他们But,voodoodidn'tstopbelievinginthem.巫毒可能没人理解,但始终有颁Voodoomaynotbewellunderstood,butitgetsresults.知道还有什么办法有效吗？Youknowwhatelsegetsresults?公开嘲笑Publicridicule.但丧尸是存在的HERMESAndyet,therearezombies.唉呀,我忘记买♥♥羊了Ohshoot.Iforgottopickupagoat!德怀,到走廊对面跟威尔森太太借一只羊DwighgoacrossthehallandborrowgoatfromMrs.Wilson.打包一下行李Packyourbags.我们要去新纽奥良WearegoingtoNewNewOrleans.参加忏悔星期二？ForMardiGras?不是,我是说,刚好有忏悔星期二No.Well,Imean,ithappenstobeMardiGras,但那不是重点butthat'sbesidethepoint!我相信那里有人可以战胜这种病毒Ibelievetherearepeopletherewhocoulddefeatthisviruswith.用巫毒voodoo.德怀,立刻回房♥间Dwight,gotoyourroomrightnow!你这是在招惹你不了解的力量,老公Youaremessin,withpowersyoudon'tunderstand,husband.但我了解But,Ido!那就跟我一起去,老婆Thencomewithme,woman!你一定要听我说因为我是在巫毒家庭中长大Youmustlistentome,cause1grewupinavoodoofamily,丧主义杀了我爸爸！andzombie-ismkilledmyfather!然后又让他死而复生Thenbroughthimbacktolife!我们不想再跟那个世界有牵扯Medon'twantanymoretodowiththatworld.那我只好自己去找黑魔法师rThenllhavetoseekoutthesepractitionersofthedarkartsonmyown.希望他们的所在地附近有好吃的贝涅饼Hopefully,theyarenearthatplacewiththegoodbeignets.你要非常小心,老公Beverycareful,husband,答应我一件事andpromisemeonething.如果你活下来Ifyousurvive,要帮我带一点贝涅饼回来yougonnabringmebacksomeofthembeignets!（大圆柱总站）（安检）（运输安♥全♥局♥）怎样?那是我的情绪支援枪What?It'smyemotionalsupportgun.先生,哪一区?商务舱还是打架舱？Whichsection,sir?Businessorfighting?商务舱-这边请Uh,thefirstone.-Rightthisway.你要干洗手液吗？-不用,谢谢Handsanitizer?-Nothanks.那我不客气了Eh,moreforme.女士.Ma'am?Ma'am?请不要把你丈夫放在头顶行李箱Pleasedon'tjamyourhusbandintotheoverheadbin.不要教我妻子怎么把我塞进行李箱！Don'tyoutellmywifehowtojammeintothings!我知道我的权益!我要把你录下来！Iknowmyrights.mrecordingyou!我要把你未经他允许就录影的情况录卜来Andmrecordingyouforrecordinghimwithoutpermission!（市政厅）身为你们的市.长,我很荣幸宣布Asyourmayor,mproudtoannounce本市最知名的书呆子已研发出一种疫苗thatourcity'smostprominenteggheadhasdevelopedavaccine可以一劳永逸终结我那糟糕的民调数字thatwillendmyterriblepollnumbersonceandforall!没错,多亏了尖端的核糖核酸技术Quiteso.ThankstocuttingedgeRNAtechnology,我的疫苗未经测试就很有效myvaccineisaspotentasitisuntested.我基本上相同的疫苗要有效得多Ha!Myessentiallyidenticalvaccineisfarsuperior!温斯特这是两次注射疗法Wernstrom.-It'satwo-shotregimen.是吗?我的疫苗需要注射三次而且会让肩膀酸痛一个月Oh,yeah7Well,mine'sthree,anditmakesyourshoulders我的疫苗会让手臂萎缩脱落soreforamonth!Minemakesyourarm这算什么,我的疫苗附带一种超前方式shrivelandfalloff!Bigdeal!Minecomeswithafuturisticway会准确知道谁接种过,谁没接种过ofknowingexactlywho,sbeenvaccinated一小张容易遗失的纸片andwhohasn,t,.Asmallscrapofeasily-lostpaper.我做了你最喜欢的菜,莉拉,鸡形肉排Imadeyourfavorite,Leela.Chicken-shapedsteak!弗莱,如果"Wow,thisisgreatFry!"这平底锅酱没那么清淡会很好吃Iswhatdsayifthispansauceweren,tsobland!对,我知道你是因为染疫才这么说Yeah,well,Iknowthat'sjustthevirustalking.奶油派怎么样？How'sthecreampie?我是独家张ScoopChang,新纽约客智慧手表版的填字游戏编辑NewNewYorkerCrosswordPuzzleeditor,SmartwatchEdition.温斯特博士,你的疫苗Dr.Wernstrom,whatdoyousaytoreports有磁力副作用,对此你有什么说法？yourvaccinehasthesideeffect那是疫苗的特色,不是瑕疵ofmagnetism7That'safeature,notabug.酷cool我是摩宝和琳达的琳达1.inda,MorboandLinda.根据网路上一则匿名贴文Accordingtoananonymousinternetpost,你的抗爆怒疫苗会导致不育youranti-angervaccinecausessterility.想评论一下吗？不育是必要的Caretocomment?-Thesterilityisessential!研究显示小孩是最会惹人愤怒的Studiesshowthatkidsarewhatmakepeopleangriest!大家都讨厌小孩Everyonehateskids!我是这里唯一费心自行搜集事实的记者吗？AmItheonlyjournalistherewhoevenbotheredtobringmyownfacts?班卓博士Dr.Banjo!对,我就是班卓博士Yes,theDr.Banjo体验播客体验时刻的班卓博士ofTheDr.BanjoExperiencePodcastExperienceHour.方斯沃教授,根据我开始散布的谣言ProfessorFarnsworth,howdoyourespondtorumorsmstarting你的疫苗里有5G晶片,你怎么回应？thatthereare5Gchipsinyourvaccine?我会向你保证,这5G晶片是安全的Iwouldsimplyreassureyouthatthe5Gchipsaresafe且纯粹是用于监视andpurelyforsurveillancepurposes.天啊DearGod!但这是疫苗有效的原理But,that,showitworks!5G晶片会追踪病毒粒子The5Gchipstrackthevirusparticles,这样太空雷射就能射击病毒sothespacelaserscanshootthem.把那骗人的疫苗拿开Keepthatquackeryawayfromme!（欢迎来到新纽奥良）（爵士乐糖尿病的发源地）女士,我能收你的餐盘吗？MayItakeyourtray,ma'am?不行,不能拿走我的危险餐盘No,youmaynottakemydangtray!我们为什么要供应4j东烤肉串？0w!Whydowehavetoserveshishkabob?喂,别逼我过去那里Hey,don'tmakemecomebackthere!先生,请回到你的座位我是机长Sir,pleasegobacktoyourseat-mthecaptain!别跟我耍职权,飞行小子Don'tyoupullrankwithme,flyboy!去给我坐下,好好开飞机Sityourtushydown,anddrivethisthing.坐你个头Tushymyass!机长报告Thisisthecaptainspeaking.在靠窗座位打架的旅客Passengersfightinginthewindowseatswillnotice会注意到我们正倾斜翻过山明水秀的朋恰特雷恩湖we'recareeningpastscenicLakePontchartrain.（电子秋葵浓汤）救命,我的双腿动不了Help.Ican'tmovemylegs.我闻到秋葵浓汤Ooh!Ismellgumbo!（波旁街,健怡可乐大道）（罗宝夫人的巫毒商店）你好,夫人,这是巫毒总部吗？Hello,madam.IsthistheVoodooHQ?你会巫毒？-你误会了Shh.Youdovoodoo?Youmisconstrue.谁在总部施巫毒？WhodovoodooattheHQ?懂了,想要这种情报可不便宜Entendu.Busuchinformationwon'tcomecheap.我在外面发现这枚25分硬币Ifoundthisquarteroutside.别担心,我擦掉大部分呕吐物了Don'tworry.Iwipedoffmostofthevomit.那我们请教一下塔罗牌吧Thenletusconsultthetarot.（骨之钥）骨之钥TheKeyofBones,（倒吊人）倒吊人theHangingMan,被巨无霸贝涅饼压死的人theManBeingCrushedbyaBigBeignet,被圣吉祥物打倒的人andtheManBeingBeatenbytheSaintsMascot.你要选哪条路？Whichpathdoyouchoose?倒吊人下面那锅里是什么？Hm.What'sinthatpotunderthehangingguy?沸腾的秋葵浓汤Boilinggumbo.我要从秋葵浓汤开始llstartwiththegumbo.（艾萨的诺诺拉）来吧Hitme.砰Bam!有点淡,我想我会试试这个Mm.Kindamild.Guesslltrythisoneinstead.（骨之钥）只要大家打我的疫苗Thisdamnedpandemicwouldbeover这该死的疫情就会结束ifonlypeoplewouldtakemyvaccine.为什么除了我,每个人都这么笨？Whyiseveryonebutmesostupid!?唉,因为除了你每个人都在用社群媒体Splah.Becauseeveryonebutyouusessocialmedia!这些疫苗法♥西♥斯♥主义者E在剥夺我们的向♥由♥Thesevaccinefascistsaretakingawayourfreedom!我还不如像我姑姑一样待在动物园的笼子里Imightaswellbeinacageatthezoo,likemyaunt!这令人困惑的口罩正在摧毁我的肺Thisconfoundedmaskisdestroyingmylungs.脸包社群上所有错误资讯正在撕裂人♥民♥AllthismisinformationonFacebagistearingusapart.我很纳闷那些贴文是谁发的Iwonderwho'spostingit.（欧米克隆英仙座八号♥星）爸,我还要发什么贴文？WhatelseshouldIpost,Dad?随便,越扯越好Whocares?Thecrazierthebetter.告诉他们杀虫剂会有帮助Tell'emwormmedicinehelps!那些可怜又容易操弄的笨蛋Thosepoor,easilymanipulatedfools.很快地我们侵略的时机就会到来Soon,ourtimetoinvadewilldrawnear!听起来很好玩Soundsfun.我会带上我的尖叫声消除耳机I'llpackmyscream-cancelingheadphones.又糟又烂的愤怒小圆顶舱1.ousy,rotten,tinyangrydome!莉拉?我真的很抱歉1.eela?mreallysorry.我设法把这花束扎成你说的样子Itriedshovingtheseflowerswhereyousaid,但我就是扎不好butIjustcouldn'tmanageit.Pleasetakethem.请收下-别靠近我,笨蛋Don'tcomeanycloser,youdope!你会染疫,可能还会被我揍You'llgetsickandprobablybeatup.我不在乎,我再也受不了跟你分开了Idon'tcare.Ican,tstandbeingapartanylonger!我要进去了mcomingin.那个算命师一定是在耍我Thatfortunetellermusthavebeenjerkingmychicken!这里什么都没有There'snothinghere!什么都没有,除了我们,朋友Nothingbutusbones,monami.老天爷啊SweetandouilleofSt.Louis!用骨头做成的机器人Arobotmadeofbones!我叫骨头机器人)em'appelleBonebot在这墓地当守墓人几百年了Beenbones-keepin,thisboneyardforthreebone-redyears.很好,因为我有关于骨头的任务Ohgood!BecauseIamonabone-relatederrand.我在寻找通往巫毒总部的秘密骨钥mlookingforasecretbonekeytotheVoodooHQ.我从没见过什么骨钥Huh.Iain,tneverseennobonekey.你找过那个显眼的头骨了吗？Haveyoucheckedthatprominentlydisplayedskull?看来我没有真正找遍这地方Well,huh.GuessIneverreallydonelooked'roundtheplace.可能是因为我没有眼睛Probably'causeIgotnoeyes.来,我载你去Comeon!I'llgiveyouaride.下去,走开,臭鱼！Goonandgitfromhere,garfish!看来喝那第八碗秋葵浓汤是错的Thateighthbowlofgumbomayhavebeenamistake.秋葵浓汤不管喝几碗都没错,骨友Noamountofgumbo,samistake,monami.因为力场堤坝的关系这区域的海水总是波涛汹涌Water'salwayschoppyinthereherepartsonaccountoftheforcefieldlevees.你们要是看到一只马贡来的儒艮就把他撞倒！Y'allseeadugongfromMacon,run'emdown!他卷走我女儿的嫁妆潜逃了Heabscondedwithmydaughter'sdowry.这地方给我毛骨悚然的感觉不是布吉音乐的感觉Thisplacegimmetheheebie-jeebies,andnottheboogiewoogiekind!你实际上是用骨头做成的You'reliterallymadeofbones!我的目标是保持那种状态AndIaimtokeepitthatway!再会了Bonvoyage!谁在那里？Wh-Whogoesthere?巴贝多斯利姆？BarbadosSlim!?时人杂&hearts洁♥的时下最性感男人PeopleMagazine'sSexiestManAlive.进来,赫米斯Comein,Hermes!别把这里当你家Makeyourselffeelinadequate.地球今天遭到袭击Tonight,Earthisunderattack.外星入侵者利用我们星球的内部分♥裂♥Alieninvadershavetakenadvantageofourplanet'sinternaldivisions发动全面进攻tolaunchanall-outassault.去死吧,你这恶心的怪胎Die,youdisgustingfreak!我只希望能在外星人入侵前杀了你IjusthopeIkillyoubeforethoseinvadersdo.所有希望都破灭了,摩宝Allhopeislost.Morbo?他们必须被摧毁Theymustbedestroyed!双方都必须被摧毁！Bothsidesmustbedestroyed!我真是受够你了-救命！Iamsosickofyou!Help!你是巫毒总部的首领?我真不敢相信You'retheheadoftheVoodooHQ?Ican'tbelieveit!相信吧,我是跟最优秀的巫毒专家学的Believeit,man.Mestudiedwiththebestofthebest.她叫拉芭芭拉ShegoesbythenameofLaBarbara.她也擅长使巫毒Andshewasgoodatvoodoo,too.你离她远点,她已经嫁给我了Youstayawayfromher!She'smarriedtomenow!你们两个已经是过去式了Youtwoaremostlyancienthistory.历史总会重演,兄弟HistoryhasawayOfrepeatingitself,brother.好了,你来这里干嘛？Now,whatbringsyouhere?病毒,我相信巫毒是唯一能对抗病毒的办法Thevirus.Ibelievevoodoomightbetheonlythingthatcanfightit.那相当明显Well,thatmuchisobvious.我认为这可能是一种恶魔附身的膨式Ithoughtitmightbeaformofdemonicpossession,但测试结果是否定的butthetestscamebacknegative.但想一下But,considerthis.我推测这病毒是一种丧尸主义Mytheoryisthevirusisatypeofzombie-ism!老天爷啊SweetpotatoesofBarbados!生气怒吼的丧尸并不多见Youdon'tseealotofangry,shoutingzombies,但这能解释许多事butitwouldexplainalot.赫米斯,你可能破案了Hermes,youmayhavecrackedthiscoconut.别再拿食物形容了,我又饿rStopnamingfoods!Gettinghungryagain.可惜,消除丧尸主义是我不会的巫毒魔法Sadly,curingzombie-ismisthekindofvoodooIdon'tdo.只有一个人有这种专业知识我怕There'sonlyonepersonwiththatexpertise,andmafraid怕她可能太性感,会害你无法思考？Afraidshemightbetoosexuallyattractedtoyoutothinkstraight?那你就说对了-拉芭芭拉？Well,you'remostlyright.LaBarbara!?赫米斯,我不能让你独自前来Hermes,Icouldn,tletyoudothisalone.你勇敢来到这里,我爱你Youwerebravetocomehere,andIloveyou.哈啰,巴贝多Well,hello,Barbados.但你怎么找到我们的？But,howdidyoufindushere?你怎么会有巴贝多家的钥虺？AndwhydoyouhaveakeytoBarbados'place?那不重要-我也有你们家的钥匙Eh,that'snotimportantl,vealsogotakeytoyourplace.那也不重要Alsonotimportant.来吧,跟我到内殿Come!Followmetotheinnersanctu