Futurama《飞出个未来（1999）》第八季第一集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

（享受泥浆）（异常美味）教授的实验室笔记Professor'slabnotes最后一笔记录nalentry.“时间已冻结了一段时间Timehasbeenfrozenforanunknownlengthoftime.“刻不容缓Withnotimetolose,“我开始穿越时空寻找弗莱和莉拉IbegantunnelingthroughtimeinsearchofFryandLeela,“才发现他们深受极度衰老之苦onlytofindthemsufferingfromacaseofextremeold.“吓坏的我提议在时间停止前Horrified,Iofferedtoresettheuniverse“立刻重肩宇宙totheinstantbeforetimestopped.“他们可以返老还童Theycouldbeyoungoncemore.“依然是丑八怪Stillgrotesquelyugly“但年轻”butyoung.你觉得怎样？Whatdoyousay?想重生吗？Wannagoaroundagain?我愿意Ido.刚刚是有人把宇宙关掉又重开吗？D-Didsomeoneswitchtheuniverseoffandon?感觉好像我们重新开机了Itfeelslikewegotrebooted!我的啤酒怎么不新鲜r?Ugh!Whyismybeerstale?我在跟朋友们分享呕吐物Yay!msharingbackwashwithfriends!不管是怎么回事Well,whateverhappened重点是不能再发生这种事theimportantthingisitwillnever,everhappen.again.机器人？Robot?没有，逗你的啦我们回来了，宝贝！Nah,mjustyankin'yourass.We,reback,baby!（葫芦剧集）（老妈牌老式机器人润滑油）（单身狗粮）（行星快递）好消息，各位！Goodnews,everyone!我的新除皱霜来了Mynewwrinklecreamhasarrived!（欧米詹油）而且我们似乎在时间流动的大规模中断幸存下来Also,weseemtohavesurvivedamassivedisruption我们有变得更老？还是更年轻？intheflowoftime.Didwegetolder?Younger?（四字母单词搜索）科学中找不到答案Scienceholdsnoanswers.科学知道今年是哪年吗？-科学什么都能解答Doesscienceknowwhatyearitis7Scienceknowseverything!来看看原子RW1.et'schecktheatomiccalendar.赫米斯，把浓缩咖啡机从原子日厝前面移开Hermes,movethatespressomakeroutofthewayoftheatomiccalendar!（3023年7月）天啊！Goodlord!今年是3023年！It'stheyear3023!终于，我以为他永远不会停止抱怨Finally.Ithoughthe'dneverstopyammering.我的抱怨才刚开始Oh,veonlyjustbegunyammering!我现在应该要解释爆&hearts”乍&hearts汁生肉毒杆菌中毒的科学Ishallnowexpoundonthescienceofexplosivebotulism.我真的在未来过了23年？Have1reallyspent23yearsinthefuture?我们称之为现在，但随便吧Wecallitthepresent,butspluttever.23年过去了，我一事无成Twenty-threeyears,andveachievednothing.一事无成想想真的很难过Nothing!-It,sreallysad,ifyouthinkaboutit.对啦，你就尽量笑吧但我浪费够多生命了Yeah.Laughallyouwant,butvewastedenoughofmylife.我该为自己立定目标了lt,stimeIsetmyselfagoal.别笑了Stopit!但他说你就尽量笑吧Buthesaidlaughallyouwant!我不在乎1don'tcare.如果弗莱想为他自己立定目标IfFrywantstosetagoalforhimself我们应该支持他，不是指着他大笑Weshouldsupporthim,notpointandlaugh.对喔！我忘了指着他Oh,right.Iforgottopoint.人生目标1.ife'sgoal,life'sgoal.你考虑过把腿捐给无腿者吗？Haveyouconsidereddonatingyourlegstothelegless?或为无碎纸机者销毁文件？Ordestroyingdocumentsfortheshredder-less?让弗莱自己决定吧1.et'sleavethisuptoFry.他只需要静一下Hejustneedsalittlepeaceandquiet.有我在就别想Notonmywatch!对了That'sit!我想到目标了vegotmygoal!这么快？是什么？Andsoquickly!Whatisit?菲利普弗莱我.J,PhilipI.Fry.我是说，我，菲利普弗莱.I-Imean,I,PhilipJ.Fry,在此承诺观看有史以来制♥作♥的每一部电视节目herebypledgetowatcheveryTVshowevermade!我不知道，肉包Idon'tknow,meatbag.很多节目都很烂There'samightydeepdiaperofcontentoutthere.这个太简单了Ieatdiapersforbreakfast.这需要久坐It'lltakealotofsitting,但有全世界第四大受欢迎串流服务butwiththeworld'sfourth-mostpopularstreamingservice,我办得到Icandoit.我要订阅福禄msubscribingto.（福禄）Fulu!（建立帐号♥）（电邮）（密♥码♥琲利普弗莱）（年龄：一千岁以上）莉拉，你不阻止他吗？1.eela,aren'tyougonnastopthis?是该阻止，但我不想毁门也的梦想Ishould,butIdon'twannacrushhisdreams.赫米斯，你能毁掉他的梦想吗？Hermes,canyoucrushhisdreams?不行，你这是把你的女友责任扔给我Oh,no.You'renotfobbingthatgirlfrienddutyoffonme.懒惰r一辈子让我赢在起跑点Alifetimeoflazinessgivesmeahugeheadstart.这看过了这看过不喜欢这看过两次不喜欢Watchedit.Watchedit,Hate-watchedit.Hate-watchedittwice.基夫有个单身朋友，他叫查普Kifhasasinglefriend.HisnameisZapp.别说了，我说了我会支持弗莱的白♥痴♥梦想，我说到做到Stop.IsaidIwouldsupportFry'sdumbgoal,andIwill.我支持你Isaygoforit.谢谢，莉拉Thanks,Leela.Ooh!骇镜TheScaryMirror!听起来好骇人听闻Thatsoundsscary.你正在看一部与之前节目非常相似You'reenteringashowthatisslightlydifferent但略有不同的节目fromprevious,verysimilarshows.（无法退出）曾经关F一本书的恐怖故事Whatwasonceacreepystoryaboutabook现在变成了一个油腻到握不住的电子阅读器isnowaboutanE-readerthat'stoogreasytohold.那通魔鬼打来的电♥话♥?Andthatonewiththephonecallfromthedevil?现在变成魔鬼打来的FaceTime视讯Now,it,saFaceTimecallfromthedevil.魔鬼的部分没变Thedevilpartdidn'tchange.准备好在骇镜中看到你有损形象的的倒影PreparetoseeyourunflatteringreflectioninTheScaryMirror.喂，丝妮Hey,Sniri!别再闪了帮我在行不通汉堡店预订晚餐时段GetoffyourfatsquiggleandmakemeadinnerreservationatImpassableBurger!然后杳一下我的NFT价格AndcheckthepriceofmyNFTs因为我是重要的科技新贵'causemanimportanttechguy!订位确认Reservationconfirmed.NFT一文不值NFTsworthless.什么？你早该叫我卖♥♥掉的What?!Youshouldatoldmetosellthem!笨蛋都比你会！Anyidiotcoulddoyourjob!（特死拉）什么鬼？丝妮Whatthehell,Sniri?从现在起，由我来问蠢问题Fromnowon,llbeaskingthestupidquestions.例如，现在窗外的天气怎样？Suchas,"What'stheweatherrightoutsidemydamnwindow?"还有这方向盘要怎么用？And,um,"Howdoesasteeringwheelwork?'1（行不通汉堡店）刚刚发生的事真是发人省思Wow.Whateverjusthappenedreallymakesyouthink.确实是Itsuredo.电视，给我看不用大脑的节目TV,dumbitdownforme.（海王星烤婚大赛）（爆笑机器人5.0脱口秀特辑）Whatisthedealwith非二进制机器人怎么了？non-binaryrobots?一帮政♥治♥IE确的电脑Wow.PCCrowd.没有弗莱的干扰WithoutFry'sinterruptions,效率提高了32%efficiencyisup32perc-Mm.我的屁♥股♥麻木了，遥控器按到手痛Well,mybutt'snumb,andmyremotehandisdead,但我只剩下我的电路们最后一季还没看butallIhaveleftisthefinalseasonofAllMyCircuits.哪个最后一季Whichfinalseason?他们取消了三、四次Theygotcanceled,like,threeorfourtimes.真是烂剧Pfft!Loserama!十年前的最终季Thefinalfinalseason,from10yearsago.我想知道有多少集Iwonderhowmanyepisodeswereinit?1万2.不是，1万3020集Mm,twelveNo.Thirteen.thousandandtwenty.1万3020集？13,020?但我不可能看完But-But-11nevermakeit!抱歉，莉拉msorry,Leela.我的电视永远看不够无法让你引以为傲llneverbeabletowatchenoughTVtomakeyouproudofme.其实是有可能看完的Itmightactuallybepossible.但是不行什么？那是什么？ButNo.-What?Whatisit?那很危险It'srisky,butwehaveatechnologynow但我们现在有一种技术thatallowsyoutowatchalltheepisodes可以让你一次看完所有集数inonecontinuousstretch.我们称之为“狂追剧”Wecallit.bingeing.不什么?No,no!(gasps)What?听起来不错！我要用Soundsgreat!I'lldoit!你不懂，弗莱Youdon'tunderstand,Fry!狂追剧不是你们那年代的意思Bingeingdoesn'tmeanwhatitdidinyourday!狂喝六罐啤酒然后吐在我媚妈的首饰盒里？Drinkingtwosix-packsandbarfinginmymom'sjewelrybox?不是！是戴上狂追剧眼镜Ew!No!Itmeansstrappingintothesebingeinggoggles把剧集直接入你的脑袋thatdrilldirectlyintoyourbrain.弗莱，别傻了,Fry,don'tbetheidiotyouare.在你刺穿你的视觉皮质前Beforeyougojabbingintoyourvisualcortex,我求你Iimploreyouto我的皮质0w!Mycortex!我坚持认为这是糟糕透顶的愚蠢想法Imaintainthatthisisacatastrophicallyboneheadedidea.但如果你要狂追剧你会需要“挺直装备”But,ifyou,regoingtobinge,you'llneedastillsuit.为什么这叫“挺直装备”？Whyisitcalledastillsuit?因为能让你挺直坐好Becauseyou'llbesittingperfectlystill.而且我不能让你弄麟我的狂追剧躺椅AndIcan'thaveyousoilingmybinge-a-lounger.插管Engagehoses!我不太确定哪根是呼吸管哪根是排泄物管mnotentirelysurewhichistheairhoseandwhichisthewastehose.但试了就知道But,liveandlearn.再见了，莉拉Farewell,Leela.一定要记得Andalwaysremember.（我的电路们）（第47季第1集）AllMyCircuitsisbroughttoyouby.我的电路们由以下品牌赞助播出HoneyBunchesofSprings.（新推出！）（蜂蜜弹簧片）大家都爱蜂蜜弹簧片EverybodylovesHoneyBunchesofSprings!除了人类，对人类致命Excepthumans.Fatalforhumans.计算机！CaIculon!Butyouweren'tdueback但你还在时间旅行大会，回来时间是fromthetimetravelconventionuntil-昨天？Yesterday?!（第47季第752集）（第47季第1万2659集）（行星快递）（单身麴糊）他已经连续追了几个月，完全没间断He,sbeenstreamingformonthswithoutasinglebreak.难怪你觉得他有魅力Nowonderyoufindhimsoattractive.从排泄物桶来看，肠功能很强大Thewastebucketsindicatestrongbowelfunction.现在来看看他的大脑如何承受这种感官攻击Now,let,sseehowhisbrainisholdinguptothissensoryassault.天啊Oh,dear.那是电视讯号♥还是弗莱的脑波？IsthattheTVsignalorFry'sbrainwaves?都是！Both!弗莱衰弱的脑袋已经被狂追剧压垮了Fry'sfeeblemindhasbeenoverpoweredbythebinge.他正在与现实脱节He,slosingtouchwithreality!真的，他对我发出的声音或气味都没有反应It'strue!He,snotrespondingtoanyofthesoundsorsmellsmmaking.只要弗莱还有剧集可看，他就没事AslongasFrydoesn'trunoutofepisodes,he'llbeokay.但如果他看到最后一集，但愿不会Butifhereachestheendoftheseries,Godforbid,否则他的意识会剪断hisconsciousnesswillbesevered!就像这把园艺剪把莉拉的马尾剪断MuchasthishedgeclipperseversLeela'sponytail.喂！Hey!-Oh,boo-hoo!只是比喻It,sametaphor.别当真Don'ttakeitliterally.但弗莱会变成植物人But,Frywillbecomeavegetable!好吃！我是说，可怜Yum!Imeansad.这都是我的错Thisisallmyfault.其实主要是弗莱的错，但我有一点错Actually,it'smostlyFry'sfault,butit'salittlemyfault!我们必须想办法把弗莱从福禄的铁腕中解救出来WehavetofindsomewaytoextricateFryfromFulu'sirongrip.我要戴上我的思考帽llputonmythinkingcap.时间不多了There'snotmuchtime.他快看完我的电路们剧集了He'salmostoutofepisodesofAllMyCircuits.也许他们会拍新一季Maybethey'lldropanewseason.不太可能Eh,fatchance,sweatpants.他们十年前就取消了Itgotcanceled10yearsago.电视剧取消续集后就不会再拍了TVshowsdon'tcomebackafterthat.不可能Noway!无线或有线台都不可能2Notonbroadcastorcable.3400:10:40,848-）00:10:42,099福禄台呢？WhataboutFulu?他们会续拍任何老剧They'llbringbackanyoldcrap!想法不错Goodthinking!也许我们可以让他们以串流剧集形式重启Maybewecangetthemtorebootitasastreamingseries.我们透过写信和传播标籁展开粉丝诉求活动We'llstartafancampaign,withlettersandaviralhashtag!那办法肯定没用PfftThat'sarecipeforfailure.我们去揍人1.et'sgopunchsomebody.（福禄）（办公室空间月租费1299元）（广♥告♥费699元）（行星快递）祝你今天愉快Haveagoodone.说说你们怎么认为可以一路揍人闯进福禄台高管办公室TelluswhyyouthinkyoucanpunchyourwayintotheFuluexecutivesuite.还以为这样就可以给你们停车证Andifwecanvalidateyourparking.好，这是我们的提案Alright.Here'sourpitch.记得我的电路们那档节目吗？RememberthatshowAllMyCircuits?取消三次续集的那部吗？.Theonethatgotcanceledthreetimes?没错Exactly!帮那部戏拍续集Newepisodesofthat!这就是我们的提案That'sourpitch.开会Conferencing.我要说mgoingtohavetosay.很难-不行Hard.-Pass.我的电路们重播时有一帮忠实的机器人粉丝群AllMyCircusrerunshaveadevotedrobotfanbase,但他们鲜少买♥♥我们广&hearts浩♥商的产品buttheyrarelybuyanythingfromouradvertisers.更正Correction.新数据显示观众们的购买♥♥率突然上升Newdataindicatesasuddenuptickinbuyingbyviewers.更正Correction.是一名观众Oneviewer.老天爷啊SweetjerkvenisonOfTurkmenistan!弗莱订购了这些垃圾？Fryorderedallthisjunk?机器人毂片、机器人麴Robotcereal.Robotnoodles.（大♥麻♥油）Robotoil.Oh,wait.That'smine.机器人润滑油，慢着，这是我的So,whatdoyousay?你们觉得怎样？HowaboutpickingupAllMyCircuits播我的电路们续拍20集怎么样？for20episodes?之后再拍20集-或拍电影Withanoptionfor20more!-Maybeamovie?有违我更优秀的判断程式设计我要批准这个提案Hm.Againstmybetterjudgmentprograming,mgoingtogreenlighttheproject.喜从天降Pointsonthebackend!不过有个小问题Now,there,soneteensyhitch.你们知道这部戏的主演计算机吗？Youknowthestaroftheshow,Calculon?他死了He'sdead.一切都好商量Everythingisnegotiable.好，可以把他交给你们Hellyes,youcanhavehim!费用要加一成Scaleplus10.如果他又死了，你们不能再讨回去Andifhediesagain,nobacksies.喂，计算机什么事？Hey,CalcuIon!Yes?他们要你回去拍戏You'rewantedonset!不胜欣喜0h,gloriousrapture.能再度回到挂着层层布幔的舞台.Toreturntothedrapedprosceniumoncemore-少废话了，快上复活大硝就对了！Willyoushutupandgetintotheresurrectioncannon?（我的电路们）好，很高兴能回来深感荣幸，废话不多说Alright,it'sgreattobeback.Trulyhumbled.Alltheusualcrap.大家各就各位Places,everyone!Places!（导演）我的助理呢？Whereismyassistant?我需要有人帮我找走位标记Ineedhelpfindingmymark.我就是马克Uh,mMark.还要咖啡吗？计算机先生Morecoffee,Mr.Calculon?对，我确实需要排出更多咖啡Yes,Idoneedtoexpelmorecoffee.教授呼叫好莱坞，请回答，好莱坞PROFESSORProfessortoHollywood.Comein,Hollywood.说吧，弗莱还剩多少集？Talktome.HowmanyepisodesdoesFryhaveleft?两集，其中一集是精彩问顾Two.Andoneofthemisaclipshow.但那表示.Butthatmeans-没错，如果你们不尽快拍出新的一集Indeed.Ifyoudon'tcrankoutnewepisodesquickly,弗莱会在午餐时间前死掉Frywillbedeadbylunch.我中午要吃火腿沙拉mhavinghamsalad.但这不可能But,thisisimpossible.为了让他继续追剧Tokeepthemfromrunningout,我们要每小时拍出一小时长的剧集we'llneedtoproduceanhour-longepisodeeveryhour,永无止尽nonstop,forever!法网游龙能做到，你也能做到IfLaw&Ordercandoit,socanyou.教授离线Professorout!（飞出个未来）（由以下品牌赞助播出.）Futuramaisbroughttoyouby.（思乐零）思乐零！SlurmZero!没有味道，一喝上瘾Noneoftheflavor,alloftheaddiction!（导演）（执行制♥作♥人）莫妮，我的爱人你愿不愿意成为我的Monique,mylove.Willyoubemy-停！下一集！开拍！Cut!Nextepisode!Action!水管工？Plumber?（五小时电池酸）（长效续航）弗莱最好不是川公♥司♥信♥用♥k♥买♥♥这些机器人垃圾Frybetternotbeputtin'thisrobotjunkonthecorporatecreditcard.那是我专门用来替一人商务晚餐买♥♥单的That'sexclusivelyformyone-manbusinessdinners.赫米斯，别再说你那微不足道的挪用公♥款♥的事，看一下这个Hermes,quityourlow-stakesembezzlingandlookatthis.（一倍-两倍，速度控制）Fryisnowstreamingatdoublespeed!弗莱现在开双倍速度追剧我来看一下他看到哪里llmirrorhisviewontheTV.我好喜欢Oh,howIlovetheillicitthrill背着我丈夫跟人类偷♥情♥的快♥感♥ofcheatingonmyhusbandwithanactualflesh-and-bloodhuman.跟淫秽的人类Afilthy,filthyhuman.Sosquishyandgooey.又软又黏，就像一个性感的水球You'relikeasexywaterballoon.我也觉得很刺♥激♥,莫妮我以前从未坐过天鹅船Thethrillisallmine,Monique.veneverbeenonaswanboatbefore.计算机-莫妮，你怎么能这样？CalculonIMonique,howcouldyou?跟一个我一直在偷&hearts丁情♥的人类朋友偷♥情♥AndwithHumanFriend,theverypersonvebeencheatingonyouwith.计算机，你怎么能这样？CaIculon,howcouldyou?AndwithHumanFriend,跟一个我一直在偷♥情♥的人类朋友偷♥情♥theverypersonvebeencheatingonyouwith.计算机、莫妮，你们怎么这样？Calculon,Monique,howcouldyou?够r!再说下去没完没了Enough.We,restuckinaloop.我希望我们能和解而且这艘船只能载六吨♥钢筋Ijusthopewecancometosomeagreemenandthatthisboatcanholdsixtonsofsteel.他在开双倍速追剧？He'sstreamingatdoublespeed?怎么不帮他降速？Whynotjustslowitdown?因为弗莱的大脑正处不稳定的狂追剧状态BecauseFry'sbrainisinaveryprecariousbinge-state.任何改变，那怕只是帮他续多力多滋碗都有可能害死他Anychange,evenrefillingtheDoritobowl,couldkillhim.不！-没错Oh,no!Oh,yes.你们必须更加快拍续集You'vegottomakeepisodesfaster.Faster!加快Faster!我们已经在每小时拍一小时剧集了We'realreadymakinganhour-longshoweveryhour.这已经是最快速度了That'sthefastestitcanbedone!胡说，莉拉Nonsense,Leela.我是快速表演的代言人Why,Iamthespokesmanforfastacting.你是快速表演痔疮膏的代言人You'rethespokesmanforfast-actinghemorrhoidcream.你有意见吗？-没有Yourpoint?-1havenone.像我这种程度的机器人演员演戏速度可以远超过最优秀的Arobotactorofmycalibercanactatspeeds人类演员能达到的速度farbeyondwhateventhegreatesthumanactorscanachieve.“生与死，这是发人省思的问题Tobeornottobe.Thatisthequestion.“究竟哪个更高尚？忍♥受命运中残暴的众矢乱石之击”Whether'tisnoblerinthemindtosuffertheslingsandarrows.你漏了一句台词Youmissedaline.你能用双倍速执导吗？Canyoudirectatdoublespeed?不知道，你会付双倍价钱吗？Idon'tknow.Canyoupayatdoublescale?不是我付钱，你就快点喊“开拍”.lt,snotmymoney.)ustyellactionreally,reallyfa-开拍Action!计算机，我是来告诉你MONIQUECalculon,vecometotellyouthat-停！怎么回事？Um.-Cut!Whathappened?剧本停止上传了Thescriptpagesstoppeduploading.那群懒惰的编剧It'sthosedamnedlazywriters!无法每15分钟写出一小时的剧集Can'tevenmanagetowriteanhour-longepisodeevery15minutes.我要为讨厌的工作过劳死了IdieddoingwhatIhated.你们不能即兴表演吗？Can'tyoujustadlib?要求一个演员即兴表演就像要求个人Askinganactortoadlibislikeaskinga.guyto.五five.那就让我来写剧本Solljustwritethescripts.笨蛋都可以当电视编剧-很多都是AnyidiotcouldbeaTVwriter.-Manyare.会有多难？Howhardcanitbe?“我爱你，计算机”1loveyou,Calculon.“我们来吧，宝贝”1.et'sdoit,baby.“班德好棒”Benderisgreat.然后淡出Andfadetoblack.你被录取了You'rehired!哈啰，编剧工会Hello,Writer'sGuild.（编剧室）我担心他再也无法计算了不然他会算错MONIQUEmafraidhe'llnevercalculateagain.我们来吧，宝贝班德好棒Orhe'lldosoinaccurately.-Let'sdoit,baby.停！好，重设第3万1652号♥布景.Benderisgreat.-Cut!0kay,resetforscene31,652B.心脏病发是剧本里的吗？-不是，但可以加进去，因为很搞笑Wasthatheartattackpartofthescript?No,butleaveitin.It,shilarious.弗莱的性命岌岌可危Fry'slifeisontheline.现在就靠我这个执行制♥作♥人了It'salluptomeasexecutiveproducer.开拍Action!开拍Imean,action!大声点、好笑点！笑快点1.ouderandfunnier!Smilefaster!演好一点，少一点微表情Actbetter!Lessnuance!太烂了！Thatwasterrible!Nextscene!下一场，开拍！停Action!Cut!Action!Imean,cut!开拍.停!开拍Action!And.cut!停cut!大家都好