Futurama《飞出个未来（1999）》第八季第十集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

飞出个未来（吃吧!单身狗粮）（现推出口味!）（老妈牌老式机器人润滑油）（集体催眠时间）（单身狗粮）（老妈牌友善机器人公♥司♥）很壮观,是不是？Spectacular,isn'tit?大概吧,这是什么？Probably!Whatisit?我打造了整个宇宙的模拟世界！vecreatedasimulationoftheentireuniverse!这样的话,那很糟Oh!Inthatcase,itstinks.我一直忘记,教授我们是在整个宇宙吗？Ikeepforgetting,ProfessorAreweintheentireuniverse?.喔,当然是Why,naturally!好消息,各位!我们有货要运送Goodnews,everyone!We'vegotadelivery!但首先来点名！Butfirst,rollcall!莉拉？有1.eela?-Here.弗莱？-到Fry?-Present!遨遢鬼-有Scruffy?.Yep.赫米斯-到Hermes7Check.班德-看我的闪亮金属像素Bender7Bitemyshinymiddlepixel!艾米在Amy7Shmobviously.还有其他人Andtherest.我是团队中的无名氏Hooray!manunnamedmemberofthegroup!太厉害了,教授这模拟怎么能做得这么烂？That'samazing,Professor!How,dyoumakeitsocrummy?这可不容易Itwasn'teasy.就算要达到这种程度的真实感Eventoachievethislevelofrealism都需要大量的计算能力requiresvastamountsofcomputingpower.我的辛普创比一百个灭蚊灯的用电量还多MySimputronusesmoreelectricitythan100bugzappers.（辛普创）这让我想起,我要拔掉灭蚊灯的插头Whichremindsme,Ihadtounplugourbugzappers.打到了0w!-Gothim!蚊子还活着Themosquitoisstillalive.有蚊子吗？There'samosquito?听着洛位1.istenup,threeple!今天你们要把这包裹送到太空义大利Today,you'llbedeliveringthispackagetoSpaceItaly.太空义大利？SpaceItaly?我知道,取名称这么偷懒很丢脸Iknow,it'sanembarrassinglylazyname.但你在从头创造整个宇宙时But,whenyou'recreatinganentireuniversefromscratch,无法为所有东西编造可信的名称youcan'tmakeupabelievablenameforeverything.有时你就是必须取太空义大利或机器人星球Sometimes,youjusthavetogowith"SpaceItaly"or"theRobotPlanet"或佐艾伯格医生这种名称or"Dr.Zoidberg."荒谬至极Preposterous.太空义大利!班德,你去送那个包裹吧？Wow,SpaceItaly!Youdeliveringthatpackage,Bender?要我爬那楼梯?敬谢不敏Upallthosesteps?Nograzie.我就投进特雷维喷泉许愿lljustchuckitintoTreviFountainforgoodluck.爸爸咪呀,撞到太空教宗了！Papapia!Hehit-atheSpacePope!你因为打伤教宗而被捕You'reunderarrestfor-abonkingHisHoliness.我就说吧,这家行星快递真的很不入流Itell-ayouhis-aPlanetExpresscompanyisarealtwo-bitoperation,eh?至少有三流！Morelikethree!既然我们来了,要游览一下景点吗？So,um,aslongaswe,rehere,wannaseethesights?来到太空罗马时WheninSpaceRome.米开朗基罗的大卫像真是栩栩如生Michelangelo'sDavid!Solifelike!大卫,下面好歹遮一下Jeez,Dave!Getafigleaf!啦啦啦?Lalala!?啦啦啦?Lalala!?我就是不懂为何它不会倒Ijustcan'tunderstandhowitdoesn'tfalldow.我来拉你一把1.emmegiveyouahan.天啊,他们俩如胶似漆的Oh,mama,they'regoingatitliketwopacksofgum!班德给我们一点隐私Bender,giveusalittleprivacy.所以在这砂锅里的人知道自己身在模拟世界吗？So,dothosepeopleintheCasseroleknowthey'reinasimulation,还是他们以为自己是真实的？ordotheythinkthatthey,rereal?他们当然以为自己是真实的Ofcoursetheythinkthey'rereal.对他们来说我软体中的法则就是他们的物理定律Tothem,therulesofmysoftwarearejusttheirlawsofphysics.但我们也认为自己是真实的But,wethinkwe'rereal.我们的宇宙有没有可能是模拟的？Couldn'touruniversealsobeasimulation?绝对不是,不可能Absolutelynot!Nochance.这想法本身就很荒谬Theveryideaispreposterous!你怎么能这公确定？Howcanyoubesosure?因为从计算角度来看就不可能Becauseit'scomputationallyimpossible!例如,每个小东西.移♥动♥时宇宙中的每个原子Forexample,everyatomintheuniverse都会受到影响isaffectedwheneveronelittlethingmoves.例如我的屁♥股♥?1.ikemyass?对!来吧Ohyeah!Comeon!那是很完美的例子,班德电臀舞跳得挺不错That'saperfectexample,Bendenandsomeprettydecenttwerking.我的软体不可能计算班德的屁♥股♥Mysoftwarecan'tpossiblycomputethegravitationalchanges和其他所有粒子之间的重力变化betweenBender'sassandeveryotherparticle,所以我必须让资讯soIhadtohavetheinformation以固定的速度逐渐向外传播traveloutwardgradually,atafixedspeed.就像我们宇宙的光速？1.ikethespeedoflightinouruniverse?对！Right!那只是巧合Oh,fuff.That'sjustacoincidence.我必须抄捷径Ihadtocutothercorners,too.我是说,我的模拟甚至无法准确追踪所有东西的位置Imean,mysimulationdoesn'tevenkeeptrackofexactlywhereeverythingis.接受所有赌注猜猜球在哪个杯子里,猜中就不打你Takingallbets!Findtheball,winmenotpunchingyou!我用最后五元赌一号♥杯,我下十元好了Mylast$5oncupnumberone!Infact,makeitmylast$10!又一个合宜的例子Anotherconvenientexample.我那偷懒的软体根本不会判断球在哪个杯子里Mylazysoftwarewouldn'tevendecidewhichcuptheball'sin直到有人实际打开看untilsomeoneactuallylookedatit.在打开看前,两个都有可能Untilthen,it'sjustsortofinboth.所以你的程式设计捷径就像我们世界中的量子力学？So,yourprogrammingshortcutislikequantummechanicsinourworld?正是Exactlylikethat!有意思Hm,interesting.我想说的是Iguesswhatmtryingtosayis我们的宇宙可能也是一种模拟ouruniverseisprobablyalsoasimulation.什么？What?但你刚刚才说不可能But,that'stheexactoppositeofwhatyousaidoneminuteago!新证据出现了,我就改变想法Newevidencewaspresented,andIchangedmymind.我是科学家,不是mascientist,nota.笨蛋？政客Idiot?-.politician.天啊,想想看,你若发现你整个人格Man.Imaginehowawfulitwouldbe只是模拟出来的,那会有多可怕就像班德的人格tofindoutyourwholepersonalitywasjustSimulatedJikeBender's.什么模拟?是在说像谁吗？Whuzzulated?Likewhozer,s!?我只是在说你是人工智慧,班德Ijustmeanyou'reanartificialintelligence.Bender.就像在教授的模拟世界中的人1.ikethepeopleintheProfessor,ssimulation.人工？对Artificial?-Uh-huh.Yep.你为什么要告诉我?你毁了我的人生Why'dyouhavetotellme!?Youjustruinedmylife!我的人生原来是大骗局！Mybigfatfakelife!你是行走的铁桶You'reawalkingbucket!你怎么能说我不是真实的？Howcanyousaymnotreal!?如果你扎我,我不会流血吗？Ifyouprickme,doInotbleed?好吧,这例子不好Okay,thatwasabadexample!我流血了-炫耀喔0w!mbleeding!Showoff.乖,班德,你跟我们一样是真实的Therethere,Bender.You'reasrealasanyofus.哲学家笛卡儿说ThephilosopherReneDescartessaid,我思故我在，你会思考吗？"Ithink,thereforeIam."Canyouthink?我想我不会Idon'tthinkso!我想我可能不会思考IthinkImightnotbeabletothink!总之,这是很有趣的小宇宙Anyway,itwasafunlittleuniverse,但继续看下去会耗费大笔电费butwe,relookingataGodzilla-sizedelectricbill.该把它关掉了It,stimetoshutitdown.但你们不能把它关掉,这就像把我关掉But,youcan'tjustturnthemoff!Thatwouldbeliketurningmeoff!好办法,这样可以省更多电但先拔掉这个Goodidea!That'llsaveevenmorepower!But,we'llstartwiththem.不！No.no.插头卡住了,或者我只是十分虚弱Theplugisstuck.0rmaybemjustextraordinarilyweak.那是有可能Thatisapossibility.真是的,我就让模拟世界再运行久一点Oh,bother.lljustkeepthesimulationrunningalittlelonger.谢谢,教授Thanks,Professor!班德,你怎么能在半空中飞越这么久？Bender,howwereyouleapingthroughtheairthatentiretime?我没有,我第一次跳过来时还差一点所以我又跳了一次Iwasn't!Myfirstleapmissedbyamile,soIleaptagain但我一直没停止尖叫But,Ineverstoppedscreamingforasecond!.我觉得我已经存在了一段时间,莉拉1feellikevebeeninexistenceforawhilenow,Leela.所以我该为自己立定一个人生目标了So,it,stimeIsetmyselfalife,sgoal.太棒了,我就安静一下,让你好好想想That'sagreatidea!llbequietandletyouthink.我就把电视打开淹没分散注意力的噪音And1IturnontheTVtodrownoutanydistractingnoises.想到了!我找到我的人生目标了That'sit!Ifoundmylife'sgoal!我,菲利普弗莱1.PhillipJ.Fry,在此承诺观看有史以来制J♥作♥的每一部电视节目herebypledgetowatcheveryTVshowevermade.天啊Ohlord.那橘色的家伙真是笨蛋Thatorangeguysureisdumb.那些无辜的小笨蛋是人造的,就像我Theseinnocentbitbagsmaybeartificial,likeme,但他们不知道buttheydon'tknowthat!他们跟其他生物一样理当受到同样尊重Theydeservethesamerespectasanyotherlivingcreature.除了蚌类蚌类去死！Exceptclams!Tohellwithclams!我告诉你,他们什么都不是不过是一堆1和0mtellingyouthey'renothingbutonesandzeros!They,renomorealive他们只不过是一堆程式thanthenumber10101.她是我阿姨Shewasmyaunt!教授,我想班德说得对Professor,IthinkBendermightberight.不行No,youdon't!我们也只不过是一堆原子,对吧？Imean,we'renothingmorethanatoms,right?但以某种角度来说,我们也不只是原子But,somehow,wearemore.跟蚌类不-一样Unlikeclams!教授,我现在要请你郑重承诺Professor,Iwillnowaskofyouasolemnpromise.加上脚-把脚放下Now,thefeet.-Forgetthefeet!好吧,随便Alright,whatever.我们为何要来机器人脱衣舞店？Whyareweinarobotstripclub?因为我们必须在一个对我有意义的地方做这件事Becausewehadtodothisinaplacethat'smeaningfultome!班德！Bender!酒来了,亲爱的Hereyougo,hun.不用找了,小妞Keepthechain,toots.-0w!（低俗啤酒）让郑重的仪式开始吧1.etthesolemnceremonybegin.教授,你打造了一个有意识生命的世界Professor,youcreatedaworldofconsciouslivingbeings,所以现在你要对他们负责sonowyou'reresponsibleforthem.我要你发誓你会尽一切力量让他们活下去Iwantyoutoswearyou'lldoeverythinginyourpowertokeepthemalive.我连让自己活下去都没怎么努力Ibarelymakeanyefforttokeepmyselfalive.教授！Oof!-Professor!你绝不能让他们知道他们不是真实的,绝对不行！Andyou'llneverletthemknowthey'renotreal!Never!这样他们就不会经历我所经历的Sotheywon'thavetogothroughwhatI'mgoingthrough!我不发誓Iswearnothing!我叫你发誓Isaidswearit!好吧,我发誓Verywell.Iswearit.但用电量But,theamountOfelectricity.唉,我们基本上需要自己的水力发电机Why,we'dbasicallyneedourownhydroelectricgenerator.我真的不认为有什么可能性Ireallydon'tthinkthere'sanypossible.（行星快递）（享用思乐零）我想到了！Asyouallknow,正如你们所知我坐在马桶上时脑袋最灵光Idomybestthinkingonthetoilet.我们知道!不用再说了Weknow!Stoptellingus!我根本不需要大小便1didn'tevenhavetogo.我只是坐在这里消磨周日下午的时光Iwasjustsittinghere,wilingawayaSundayafternoon,突然间我就有灵感了whensuddenly,ithitme!新的电力来源Anewsourceofelectricity!我们可以到其他房♥间听你说吗？Wouldyoucaretotellusaboutitinanotherroom?不行No!根据这些旧地图我就是把这些地图当卫生纸.Accordingtotheseoldmaps,which1useinlieuoftoiletpaper.新纽约的下水道主干行经行星快递正下方.themainNewNewYorksewerlinerunsdirectlyunderPlanetExpress.我们只需在水管中钻孔将这涡轮机置入水流中We'llsimplydrillintothepipe,dropthisturbineintothetorrent,瞧!免费的干净电力！andvoila!Freecleanpower!干净？Clean?天啊,不是Ohmy,no.（陆地铁达尼号♥）（下水道城-机器人地狱-巴士总站）我们正接近水管主干We'reapproachingthemainpipeline.你能想像流经那里的污水量有多少吗？Canyouimaginethequantityofsewagerunningthroughthere?知道啦！Yes!倒数四秒触底,四、三、便便！Contactinfour!ThreeINumbertwo!（非托抗菌剂）我们尽量别再提那件事了1.et'srarelyspeakofthatagain.这应该能产生足够的电力维持模拟世界运行Thisshouldgenerateenoughpowertokeepthesimulationrunning.而且解析度会高得多！Andit'ssubstantiallyhigherresolution!来看看我的同类们怎么样r1.et'sseehowmyguysaredoing.好消息,各位！Goodnews,everyone!我们有货要运送给太空国王WehaveadeliverytotheKingofSpace.他们好可爱!我现在想关心他们了Aw,they'resocute!Now,Icareaboutthem!开心了吗?班德我们拯救了你的小朋友们Happy,Bender?Wesavedyourlittlefriends.当然Isuredid.还有其他消息,我有重大突破Inothernews,vemadeahugebreakthrough!什么事?教授Whatisit.Professor?是他在说话No,him.什么事?教授Whatisit,Professor?历经多个不眠之夜Aftermanysleeplessnights以及同样数量的睡眠充足的美好日子后andanequalnumberofglorioussleep-filleddays,我完成了我最宏伟的成就vecompletedmygreatestachievement!我们整个宇宙的模拟世界Asimulationofourentireuniverse!好消息洛位!我们有货运送到太空义大利Goodnews,everyone!WehaveadeliverytoSpaceItaly!好耶！yeah!老天爷啊!太空义大利在模拟世界中SweetfacsimileofSpaceltaly!Asimulation.打造了一个模拟世界?这还有完没完？Withinasimulation!7Wheredoesitallend?希望到此为止,我头已经在痛了Hopefullythere.Alreadymyheadhurts.教授,如果你能打造一个模拟宇宙Professor,ifyoucanmakeawholesimulateduniverse,我们自身的宇宙是否可能也是模拟世界？isn'titpossiblethatourownuniverseisalsoasimulation?绝对不是!你听起来像嗑了药的大一生Absolutelynot!Yousoundlikeastonedfreshman!我是说,要是我们的物理定律只是某个伟大Imean,whatifourlawsofphysicsarejustthecomputercode又聪明的教授扮演上帝而编写的电脑代码呢？ofsomebigbrilliantprofessorplayinggodupthere?说得好！Nailedit!量子力学是相当荒谬的Hm.Quantummechanicsisprettyridiculous,但这件事尚有争论butit'samootpoint.就算我们活在模拟世界我们也无法确定EvenifwearelivinginaSimUlation,there'snopossiblewayofknowing.怎么了？Yes?没什么,我只是喉咙花痰Oh,nothing.IjusthadaIoogieinmythroat.可能是模拟的痰PossiblyasimulatedIoogie.那是什么?电网超载？What'sthat?Ag-g-g-gridoverload?我的模拟世界不知为何消耗了大量电力Mysimulationisdrawingalotofpowerforsomereason.看来里面有两个黑洞在相撞Ah!Itappearstwoblackholesjustcollidedinthere.你能想像这个计算有多复杂吗？Canyouimaginehowcomplexthatcomputationis?辛普创确实很难负荷TheSimputronisreallystrainingtokeepup.天啊!或许有办法找出我们是否生活在模拟世界中Ohmyglorsh!Maybethereisawaytofindoutifweliveinasimulation.我不相信Well,1doubtthat.我也不信！Doubledoubtit!如果我们的宇宙是模拟世界Ifouruniverseisasimulation,那就是在某种电脑中运行,对吧？thenit'srunningonsomekindofcomputer,right?目前还听得懂,其实听不懂mwithyousofar.这是关于新款汽水吗？Actually,mnot.Isthisaboutanewsoda?假设我们发生一件大事SupposeWemadesomethinghappenthatwasimpossible连大型计算机都无法模拟forthatbigcomputertosimulate.这就会超负荷Itwouldoverload!没错Exactly!酷!然后呢？Cool!Andthenwhat?我不知道!可能一切东西会变成像素化看起来很怪Idon'tknow!ProbablyStuffwouldpixelateandlookweird!物理定律会失败！ThelawsOfphysicswouldfail!就像用劣质且动力不足的游戏系统玩新款电子游戏1.ikeplayinganewvideogameonacrummyunderpoweredgamesystem!没错Precisely!我那小气的奶奶买♥♥给我的.thatmycheapskategrandmagotme.有些现象非常复杂Somephenomenaaresowildlycomplex任何电脑都无法模拟thatthey'dbeimpossibleforanycomputertosimulate.例如,坍塌中的磁星Forexample,acollapsingmagneticstarormagnetar.但这类事件可能已有几百万年没发生But,suchaneventmightnothappenformillionsofyears.但如果我们刻意造成磁星坍塌呢？But,whatifweintentionallycausedamagnetartocollapse?然后我们就可以观察宇宙是否出现故障Then,wecouldjustwatchandseeiftheuniverseglitchesout.当然Ofcourse!我们会彻底知道我们是否生活在模拟世界中Andwe'dknowonceandforallifwe'relivinginasimulation.好耶!终于!allright-finally虽然我不确定我想不想知道答案AlthoughmnotsureIwannaknowtheanswertothat.我也不确定我想认为自己就是真实存在的Meneither.Ilikerestingsecureintheknowledgethatmtherealdeal.猜错了,鲁蛇!Guessagain,loser.我们来投票决定1.et'sputittoavote.谁想测试我们是不是活在模拟世界？Whoherewantstotestifwe'relivinginasimulation?我想我Iwant.I谁宁可继续活在可耻的无知中？Andwhowouldrathercontinuelivinginshamefulignorance?他-对他！Uh,thatone!你们两种都投了Youallvotedfortwothings.坦白说,我想知道自己是否不是活在模拟世界中Honestly.1wannaknowifmnotlivinginasimulation,而非是否活在模拟世界,懂吗？butnotifIam.Doesthatmakesense?出乎意料地懂,那就算了吧Surprisingly,yes.Let'sjustforgetaboutit.虽然我们从此会继续纳闷Although,nowwe'realwaysgonnabewondering.我们就测试吧1.et'sjustgo不好-一点都不好喝Uh-oh.Notgood.Notgoodatall.（洋葱露）我这套草草打造的软体绝对无法模拟Myhalf-bakedsoftwareabsolutelywillnotbeable坍塌的磁星tosimulateacollapsingmagnetar.我当初就不该把这软体外包给那个印度中学生Oh,InevershouldhaveoutsourcedittothatIndianmiddleschooler.但那群模拟人会发现他们是模拟的！But,thesimulationswillfindoutthey'resimulations!你在脱衣舞店发过誓永远不会发生这种事！Yousworeastripcluboaththatwouldneverhappen.唉呀,真♥相♥是藏不住的Alas,there'llbenohidingthetruth只等他们看到磁星坍塌的样Pwhentheyseethatmagnetarglitchingout就像微软文书处理软体的大火球likeabigflamingballofMicrosoftWord.如果他们无论如何都会发现那就该由我来告诉他们Well,ifthey'regonnafindoutanyway,Ishouldbetheonetotellthem.只有我才能真正理解他们mtheonlyonewhotrulyunderstands!况且我喜欢宣布坏消息Plus,Ilikedeliveringbadnews.其实这是有可能办到的Actually,thatmightbepossible.因为你基本上只是一团油腻的铝箔包裹的软体.Sinceyou'rebasicallyjustsoftwareinagreasywadofaluminumfoil.我可以撷取你的程式设计.Icouldextractyourprogramming,compressit,压缩然后注入模拟班德中andinjectitintoSimulatedBender.你会在模拟世界中取代他的位置You'dtakehisplaceinthesimulatedworld.那他会发生什么事？But,whatwouldhappentohim?他会被挤入子模拟中He'dbepushedthroughtothesub-simulation.那个班德吗？AndthatBender?所有模拟的班德都会依次被挤F去It'sBendersallthewaydown.好,我要进去！Alright.mgoingin.我必须警告你,班德这一趟将有去无回Imustwarnyou,BenderJt1Ilbeaone-waytrip.没有办法回来There'snowayofreturning.没关系That'sokay.Idon'twannaliveinaworld我不想活在一个比其他人都不真实的世界wheremlessrealthaneveryoneelse.这虚假世界里那群人才我的同类Thosearemypeopleinthere,inBaloneyTown.数分钟后Inafewminutes,你应该会以模拟班德的身分在模拟世界中重新开机youshouldrebootinthesimulatedworldasSimulatedBender.或有可能死掉Oryoumightdie.再见了,珍爱的朋友们和同事们Goodbye,preciousfriendsandcoworkers.再见了,沾满下水道污水的地砖Goodbyesewage-stainedfloortiles.再见了,佐艾伯格Goodbye,Zoidberg.没有你我怎么活得下去？HowwillIgoonwithoutyou?我去拿扫把llgetabroom.保持在磁星内爆的范围外Holdingoutsidemagnetarimplosionrange.在这距离外我们是安全的就算我们是真实的,但愿吧We,llbesafeatthisdistance,evenifGodforbid,we'rereal.现在该来测试这宇宙是否真实了Then,it,stimetoputrealitytothetest.我好怕喔mscared!我也是,但这其实很壮丽Iam,too.But,it'sactuallykindofbeautiful.如果这不是真实的,我们不是真实的这会比较不壮丽吗？Woulditbeanylessbeautifulifitweren,treal?-Andweweren'treal?我们很快就会揭晓We'llfindoutsoonenough.磁单极轰炸开始！Beginmonopolebombardment!你还好吗？不好Youokay,buddy7No!可能吃到不新鲜的蚌肉Probablyabadclam.我想我要重新开机了1thinkmgonnareboot!我在哪里？Where-WhereamI?你在这里,班德,就在磁星内爆范围外You'rerighthere,BenderJustoutsidemagnetarimplosionrange.对,虚假世界Oh.RightBaloneyTown.各位,我有事情要告诉你们Guys?Ihavesomethingtotellyou,这是我这辈子最有幸传达的最坏消息andit'llbethehardestbadnewsveeverhadthepleasureofdelivering.嘘,班德,我们即将要揭晓