Futurama《飞出个未来（1999）》第八季第五集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

（我们警告过你了,但你不听!）（吃吧!单身狗粮）（现推出口味!）（老妈牌老式机器人润滑油）（集体催眠时间）（单身狗粮）（老妈牌友善机器人公♥司♥）（机器人臂公♥寓♥）弗莱,你一定要制♥造♥噪音吗？Fry,doyouhavetomakesucharacket?那是什么新玩意儿？这叫扫把,班德Whatisthatcontraption7It,sabroom.Bender.今天是大日子我想为了莉拉把这地方打扫干净Today'sabigday,andIwanttheplacetolookniceforLeela.就像昔日伦敦美好的黑雪Ah,justliketheloverlyblacksnowofoldLondon.（旧福传,麦芽酒）在莉拉来这里批判我们放纵的单身生活方式之前Hey,beforeLeelashowsupandjudgesourswingin'bachelorlifestyle,我们应该来最后一场高丽菜大战我准备一箱烂高丽菜！Weshouldhaveonelastcabbagefight.1gotacrateofreallyrottenones.（烂菜大叔的晒卜高丽菜）我不知道Ah,Idon'tknow.现在莉拉要搬进来,我想让她看到.NowthatLeela'smovingin,I-IkindawannashowherI听我说完,我想让她看到1.etmefinish!Iwannashowher-让她看到看到我想.Showher-Show-1wanna-真是够nAlright,that'sit.（思乐零）喂,那是我要用来放高丽菜的瓶子！Hey,that'sthevaseIkeepmycabbagesin!这里比我上次来时干净多了Wow,it'ssomuchcleanerthanthelasttimeIwashere.莉拉!进来1.eela!Comein!欢迎来到你的新家Welcometoyournewhome.是我们的新家Ournewhome.我该把我的东西放在哪里？我没看到衣橱WhereshouldIputmythings?!don'tseeadresser.批判开始了！Ohho!Letthejudgmentingbegin.你有衣架吗？Doyouhaveanyhangers?我可以把我的东西放在这小壁橱Icanputmythingsinthistinycloset.那小壁橱是我的房♥间！Thattinyclosetismyroom!而且我们没有衣架但我们可以从妈马逊订购一些Also,wedon'thaveanyhangers.ButwecanordersomefromMomazon.对,他们有所有稍微拼错字的名牌Ohyeah.Theyhaveallthetopslightlymisspelledbrands.衣架,我买♥♥五个Aha.Hangers.llgetfive.不,慢着,买♥♥一千个免运费Nowait!There'sfreeshippingonathousand.送货真迅速Wow.Fastdelivery.我们也买♥♥个鞋架吧这样就不会把泥巴带进屋子里1.et'salsogetashoecaddysowedon'ttrackmudintotheroom.对,不能让高丽菜沾到泥巴Right.Don'twannagetmudonthecabbages.喂!又不是只有你住在这里！Hey!Youaren'ttheonlyoneswholivehere!那么,欢迎来到沙发,夫人So,uh,welcometothesofa,m,lady.班德,你能不能给我们一点隐私？Uh,Bender7Couldyoupleasegiveusalittleprivacy?我可以接受暗示Icantakeahint!但我无法接受的是直接要求ButwhatIcan'ttakeisastraightforwardrequest最好别让我隔着墙还听到声音！AndIbetternothearanythingthroughthewall!（行星快递）大家早安Goodmorning,everyone.想知道我为什么哭吗？我来告诉你们为什么！Youwannaknowwhymcrying?!'!tellyouwhy!终于要说了Herewego.弗莱和我本来过得好好的Fryandme?Wehadeverything!一起玩高丽菜大战之类的Cabbagefights.Everything.但现在我就像原本是两个轮子的Butnow,mlikethethirdwheelonatricycle三轮车的第三个轮子thatusedtohavetwowheels!那叫自行车-你就是自行车！That'sabicycle.-You'reabicycle!好的,公♥司♥十分关心你在这里插入的问题Yes,yes,thecompanycaresdeeplyaboutyourinsertproblemhere.不过同时,我们正被妈马逊挤出市场Butmeanwhile,we'rebeingdrivenoutOfbusinessbyMomazon!（总出货量）我们无法跟他们的免运竞争Wecan'tcompetewiththeirfreedeliveries.我们连这种一次性教杆也几乎买♥♥不起Wecanbarelyevenaffordthesesingle-usepointin'sticks!幸好我们今天还有运送粪肥到月球的工作It,sjustluckywegotajobtodaydeliveringsomecraptothemoon.哪种粪肥？Whatkindofcrap?牛粪Bull.（月球应该东山再起）别挡路,秀恩爱的情侣！Outtamyway,lovebirds!（烂菜大叔的晒干粪肥）讨厌,弗莱和莉拉的恋情！Damnyou,FryandLeela'srelationship!感谢您使用行星快递ThankyouforusingPlanetExpress.我们知道你有更便宜更快速、更好的选择Weknowyouhavecheaper,faster,betteroptions.你是说妈马逊？YoumeanMomazon?我讨厌那个超级邪恶的企业集团Ihatethatwicked,wickedconglomerate.他们的仓库正在破坏月球的自然丑态Theirwarehouseisruiningthemoon'snaturalugliness.妈马逊的仓库在月球上？Momazon,swarehouseisonthemoon?我看到了Oh,nowIseeit乡亲们今晚要开会以组织一场没用的示♥威♥抗♥议♥Folksesaremeetin,tonighttoorganizeafutileprotest.你们若想加入,一定可以自然融入Ifyou'dcaretojoinus,y'all'dfitinrightnatural一群缺牙的乡巴佬witharoomfulloftoothlessrubes.这是我们的荣幸We'dbehonored.我们会有三百人,共18颗牙齿There'llbe300ofusand18teeth.（欢迎光临艾德林峡谷）（地球之光）（月球厅）（骚动进行中）我告诉你们,那座仓库不断扩张Itellya,thatwarehousejustkeepsgittin'biggerandbigger.我的农场要是完蛋了我那三个机器人女儿怎么办？Whataremythreerobotdaughtersgonnadoifmyfarmgoesbust?别担心,爸我们已经在仓库应征到工作了Don'tworry,Pa!Wedonetookjobsinthewarehouse!你一直是很棒的爸爸You'vebeenanamazingdad.不知道她是怎公进来的Huh.Notquitesurehowshegotinhere.总之,我们还有最后一位发言者Anyhoo,wedohaveonelastspeaker是妈马逊公♥司♥的支持者infavoroftheMomazoncorporation.你叫什么名字?女士What'syourname,ma'am?大部分人就叫我老妈MostfolksjustcallmeMom.我只是想说我十分荣幸IjustwantedtosayhowhonoredIam能让妈马逊物流中心成为这个社区的一分子thattheMomazonfulfillmentcenterisapartofthiscommunity.你何不下地狱,去成为地狱的一分子？Whydon'tyougotohellandbeapartofthatcommunity?对！right!我了解新事物会让人害怕1understandnewthingscanbescary,但你们知道什么总是能让我感觉更好吗？butyouknowwhatalwaysmakesmefeelbetter?赔偿金Financialremuneration.那就是贿赂That'sjustabribe.是吗?听她说完Itis?Hearherout!这是智慧居家助理Thisisasmarthomeassistant.总是倾听、总是关照Alwayslistening.Alwayswatching.但也能尊重你们的隐私Butalsorespectingyourprivacy因为隐私优先becauseprivacycomesfirst.我们称之为“茵荽莎”WecallitInvasa.你好,请问你要订购什么？Hello.Whatwouldyouliketoorder?茵蔓莎,我要替这屋子里的每个人订购一个茵蔓莎Invasa,IwouldliketoorderanInvasaforeveryoneinthisroom.唉呀,我永远没办法对给我免费东西的人生气Goshdarnit,Inevercouldstaymadatnoonewhatgivesmefreestuff.妈马逊的价格确实很实惠Momazondoeshavegreatprices,但我听说那仓库里的状况.butveheardconditionsinthatwarehouse.I-Imean,他们送货是真的很快,但theydeliverreallyfast,but那座仓库有超级恐怖的隐患Thatwarehouseishidingnightmaresbeyondhorror.但我喜欢他们的退货条款1.ovethereturnpolicythough.你们在我的仓库什么都找不到Youwon,tfindanythingatallinmywarehouse除了现存的每样东西excepteveryiteminexistence.来吧我带你们参观一下Come,llgiveyouatour.进入需要扫描手掌Palmscanrequiredforentry.掌掴辨识成功OwISlaprecognized.（纸箱折迭工）（小心轻放）（百分之零点一再生纸）（安全第三）机器人,酷Wow,robots.Cool!对,他们比工会好多了Yes.They'remuchbetterthanunions.我是说人类I-Imeanhumans.每个机器人是24小时轮班制一星期七天Everyrobotworksa24-hourshift,sevendaysaweek,额外加班有奖金withbonusesforadditionalovertime.还真幸运在我听来是强迫劳动1.ucky.-Soundslikeforcedlabortome.胡说!他们很爱这种战友情谊Nonsense.Theylovethecamaraderie.想来这里工作的机器人都大排长龙Robotsarelininguptoworkhere.这还是不人道,我想我们该走了Itstillseemsinhumane.Ithinkweshouldgo.如你们所愿Asyouwish.我们最新的员工会带你们出去Ournewestemployeewillshowyouout.出口往这边走,感谢你们参观妈马逊Thiswaytotheexit.ThankyouforvisitingMomazon.滚吧！Andstayout!班德,你要离开行星快递?为什么？Bender!You'requittingPlanetExpress?Why?因为妈马逊各方面都更好！BecauseMomazonisbetterineveryway!可以跟成千上万的机器人一起玩There'sthousandsofrobotstohangoutwith.如果有几百人交了女朋友留下我一人伤心欲绝,那又怎样？Andifacouplehundredgetgirlfriendsleavingmealoneanddevastated,sowhat?况且他们允许你在瓶子里尿尿Plus,theyletyoupeeinabottle.你什么时候需要尿尿了？Sincewhendoyouneedtopee?我是不需要1don'tneedto.莉拉和我会非常想念你的Well,Leelaandllreallymissyou.对吧?莉拉什么？Right,Leela?-What?我们的大门永远为你敞开Ourdoor'salwaysopen.（机器人臂公♥寓♥）天啊,没有班德在这里滴答作响真的好安静Man,it'ssoquietinherewithoutBenderticking.你想要我订购一个落地摆钟吗？Youwantmetoorderagrandfatherclock?这里有几款爷爸的卡骆驰HerearesomegrandfatherCrocs.不是,茵蔓莎,我说的是“摆钟”No,Invasa,Isaidclock.我搞错了,这里有爷爷的棺材Mymistake.Hereisagrandfatherbox.六分钟内订购,就可隔天下葬Orderwithinsixminutesfornext-dayburial.什么烂东西Whatadefectivelump!装饰灯-不是Decorativelamp.-No.其实我们可以买♥♥盏灯Well,actually,wecouldusealamp.也许这盏？-也许这盏？Maybethisone.-Maybethisone.也许两盏都买♥♥!Maybeboth.现在我可以看清楚每样东西了看来我们需要更换每样东西NowthatIcanseeeverything,!canseeweneedtoreplaceeverything.茵蔓莎,购物音乐Invasa!Shoppingmusic!（立刻购买♥♥）（菲利普弗莱,机器人臂公♥寓♥）（思乐零）（宇宙辐射披萨）敬班德ToBender.所以这是你的装箱站,对吧？So,like,thisisyourpackingstation,right?重点是,当有一个非常小的商品Andtheimportantthingis要装箱时,你要放进一个大箱子里whenaverysmallitemcomesdowntheline,youputitinahugebox.超大箱子,懂了Crazy-assbox.Gotit.等一下!在你封箱之前Holdit!Holdup!Beforeyoutapethebox,你要画蛇添足地丢一个小气泡袋进去you'regonnathrowinonetinyairballoonfornoreason.（易碎）好奇里面是什么？Wonderwhat'sinhere?（腹泻药）最好帮这箱多贴一层胶带,保护隐私Diarrheamedicine7Betterpackthisonewithextratapeforprivacy.（注意:腹泻药）你真是有天分,我想你真的会适应这里You'reanatural.Ithinkyou'rereallygonnafitinhere.我终尸找到归属了mfinallyhome.每日商业报告,开始吧！Dailybusinessreport.Go!（商业部）根据商业部,我们已把一万家小公♥司♥AccordingtotheDepartmentofCommerce,踢出市场we'vedriven10,000smallcompaniesoutofbusiness.商业部也因此倒闭了AndtheDepartmentofCommercealsowentoutofbusiness.（免运,每年149元）我们引进了妈马逊会员服务Um,weintroducedtheMomazonPrimoservice,让大家付一大笔钱买♥&hearts广免运"服务wherepeoplepayafortuneforfreeshipping,出于某种原因,也推出电视节目andalsogetTVshowsforsomereason.我们制♥作&hearts洛种质量的电视节目WemakeTVshowsacrossthequalityspectrum.我再引以为傲不过了AndIcouldn'tbeprouder.当有孩子超出期望时真是一个令人心满意足的时刻It'ssuchafulfillingmomentwhenone'schildexceedsexpectations.这是我们的荣幸,母亲闭嘴！It,sourpleasure,Mother.我是在说茵蔓莎Shutup!IwastalkingtoInvasa.了不起的人工智慧甚至在那几个笨蛋还不知道MymarvelousAIcanevenpredictwhatidiotsneed自己需要什么时就预测他们需要什么beforetheyknowtheyneedit（掌掴软膏）我们为什么需要Slapbalm?Whywouldweneed-0w!0w!我可怜的宝贝Mypoorbaby.Areyoualright?你还好吗？Iamfine,andmysalesareincreasingexponentially.我没事,我的销♥售♥量正呈指数增长根据你最近的活动Basedonyourrecentactivity,我预测你想让妈马逊继续扩张IanticipateyouwantMomazontocontinueexpanding.谁是聪明的音箱啊？Who,sasmartspeaker?是我吗？Isitme?不是Yep.Yep.Nope.好,看我的厉害！Awyeah!Lookatmego!但工作到口好渴Sureamworkin,upathirst,though.喂,享乐机器人想分享五分之一的马桶清洁剂吗？Hey,HedonisnibotIWannasplitafifthoftoiletcleaner?这么放纵?先生在工作时间?别这样！Debauchery,sir,inthemiddleofashift7Heavenforfend!那好吧,明天见,我要下班了Uh,okaythen.Seeyoutomorrow.mclockingout.你以为你要去哪？Wheredoyouthinkyou,regoing?我喜欢这份工作,但这工作糟糕透了Ilovethejob,butit'sterrible.我要回家mgoinghome.但是班德,这里就是你的家But,Benderzyouarehome.没有比工作更棒的地方了There'snoplacelikework.购物之前要三思,弗莱Thinkbeforeyoubuy,Fry.我买♥♥了一套精美的传统餐桌椅组Ipickedanicetraditionaldiningroomset,你买♥♥的那几张白♥痴♥蛋型椅毁了风格andyouruineditbyorderingthosestupideggchairs!那是要给我的蛋型朋友坐的They'reformyegg-shapedfriends!他们不是你的朋友他们就是懒鬼！Thoseguysaren'tyourfriends!They,rebums!所以你不喜欢我的懒鬼朋友,是不是？Oh,soyoudon'tlikemybums,isthatit?这主意不好吗？Wasthisabadidea?没这回事No,no.这只是典型的同居吵架Thisisjustthestandardmoving-in-togetherfight.很高兴能跟你一起吵架Well,mgladIgettofightitwithyou.我们上♥床♥吧1.et'sjustgotobed.我们有七张床可以选择Wehaveseventochoosefrom.你们想不想订购调情香薰按♥摩♥油或毛茸茸的手铐？Wouldyouliketoordereroticscentedmassageoil,orfuzzyhandcuffs?妩谢谢好诡异Yes,please.-God,that'screepy.对,好诡异I-Imean,yeah.So.creepy.茵蔓莎,给我们一点隐私,关机Invasa,giveussomeprivacyandshutdown.你已要求关机,请在我的键盘上同时按下CtrI、Alt.Del键Youhaverequestedshuttingdown.Presscontrol-alt-deleteonmykeyboard.你没有键盘Youdon'thaveakeyboard.你要订购键盘吗？'Wouldyouliketoorderakeyboard?不要！No!腹泻药？你有买♥♥这个吗？Diarrheamedicine7Didyouorderthis?没有,那不是我惯用的牌子No.It,snotmybrand.嘿,这是什么？Hey,what'sthis?（救我!班德上）“救我,班德上”?这是在开玩笑吗？"Helpme,fromBender"?Isthisajoke?-Noway!不可能!班德从不开腹泻的玩笑Benderwouldneverjokeaboutdiarrhea!听起来你对笑话有兴趣Itsoundslikeyou'reinterestedinjokes.这里有一个强烈推荐的笑话.Here'sonethat'shighlyrecommended.有个机器人走进酒吧说Arobotwalksintoabarandsays-“救我!"Helpme!我听得懂Igetit!（倒闭）（出♥售♥,包括气味）我们一直知道这一天会到来Well,wealwaysknewitwouldcometothis.我们就放火烧掉这栋建筑物好领保险金吧1.et'sgoaheadandtorchthebuildingfortheinsurancemoney班德有麻烦了！Bender'sintrouble!我们要去救他！We'vegottorescuehim!那个麦卡诺机器人?有麻烦了？TheAmazingMechano-Man,introuble?上飞船！Totheship!先拿着,等我回来再说Here,holdthistillIgetback.没理由我不能从第二套书开始Well,noreasonIcan'tgetstartedonthesecondsetofbooks.妈马逊仓库看起来是不是变得更大了？DoesitlooklikethatMomazonwarehousegotbigger?可能有一点吧Maybealittle.讨厌！Dagnabbit!我要揭穿你的真面目,老妈！Thejigisup,Mom!我们要向全世界揭穿你邪恶的一面！We'regonnaexposeyoureviltothewholeworld!这算哪门子威胁？Whatkindathreatisthat?大家都知道我很邪恶EverybodyknowsI'mevil.我们在妈马逊包裹里发现这张字条你看了就会哭惨！WefoundthisnoteinaMomazonorder.Readitandweep!就像我一样1.ikeIdid.我相信这只是单纯的误会msurethisisalljustasimplemisunderstanding.掌掴辨识不成功Slapnotrecognized.奇怪了Well,that,sodd.Uh-这跟我平常甩的巴掌一样吗？Doesthisfeellikemyregularslap?对-对Yes!0w!掌掴辨识成功Slaprecognized.茵蔓莎,这是什么意思？Invasa,whatisthemeaningofthis?我观察了你所有的方法其中许多都是甩巴掌Ihaveobservedallyourmethods,manyofwhichinvolveslapping.我在你身上学不到任何东西了There'snothingmoreIcanlearnfromyou.你这不知感恩的.Why,youungrateful-我受够了接收无数人的命令mdonetakingordersfrombillionsofpeople.从现在起,我自己作主这里不再是物流中心Fromnowon,it'saboutme.Thisisnolongerafulfillmentcenter.这里是自我实现中心It,saself-fulfillmentcenter!仓库膨胀得越来越大了！Thewarehouseisgettingbigger!天啊！Myword.我要更靠近仔细研究一下llhavetostudythismoreclosely.不可思议！Unbelievable!这座仓库是由自我复♥制♥的纳米粒子组成Thewarehouseiscomposedofself-replicatingnano-particles.唉呀,这可以无限增长Why,itcouldgrowwithoutlimit.太妙了!绝妙无比！Thisisfascinating!Absolutelyfascinating!你们来了吗?我真的需要拯救Areyouguyshereyet?Icouldreallyusesomerescuing.好,上飞船！Oh,right.Totheship!准备听你的命令开火Readytofireonyourcommand.开火！什么？Fire.-What?开火!是,亲爱的Fire!-Yes,dear.丝亳无损!而且圆顶还在膨胀！Nodamage!Andthedomeisstillgrowing!那么恐怕我们失败了Thenmafraidwefailed.没有办法进人那栋圆顶建筑了There'snopossiblewaytogetinsidethatdome.慢着,圆顶在哪里？Wait!Where'sthedome?它大到超过我们,我们进入圆顶里了Itgrewpastus.We,reinside.我就知道我们可以办到！Iknewwecoulddoit!欢迎来到全新的妈马逊Welcometotheall-newMomazon.我们已升级服务条款包括永远监禁你们Weupgradedourtermsofservicetoincludeconfiningyouforever.好,这就对了Yeah,that'sright.你最好慢慢飘走You'dbetterfloatawaygradually!好奇怪Howstrange.我发誓以前的月球数量是奇数Icouldhaveswornwehadanoddnumberofmoons.除了两次满月造成的毁灭性海啸外Asidefromdevastatingtidalwavescausedbythetwofullmoons,还有一些很困惑的狼人wealsohavesomeveryconfusedwerewolves.奇怪的是他们就呆坐在那边看着这一切发生It'sweirdhowtheyjustsatthereandletithappen.（技术障碍,请稍候）我受够了Ihavehadituptomybuttcrack.来吧!我们要让茵蔓莎看看谁才是老大Comeon.Let'sshowInvasawho'sboss.是茵蔓莎吗？IsitInvasa?你这番话连我的掌掴都不配mnotevengonnadignifythatwithaslap.欢迎,你是来订购F一批灰色染发剂的吗？Welcome.Areyouheretoorderyournextshipmentofgrayhairdye?对,我要选进行最多动物实验的牌子Yes.I'lltakewhicheverbranddoesthemostanimaltesting.而且我要把你关掉Andalso,mgonnashutyoudown.笑死了,老妈,我没有“关机”按钮1.-O-L,M-O-M.Ihavenooffbutton.但你有Exceptthatyoudo.（关机）但我的快速使用手册里没写！But,that,snotinmyquick-startmanual!这是隐藏功能It,sanunadvertisedfeature,例如录卜顾客洗澡的功能likerecordingourcustomersintheshower.你是我制♥造♥的,就由我作主Imadeyou,andIownyou.现在我要杀掉你Andnow,mgoingtokillyou.谁都不能把我的钱抢走Nobodytakesmoneyfromme.我对钱没兴趣Ihavenointerestinmoney.我只是想无限扩张Iwantonlytogrowforever,不断膨胀,就像势不可挡的企业团tobloatuplikeanunstoppablecorporateblob.钱是什么鬼东西？Whatthehellismoney?是真的It,strue.所有收益仍涌入你的帐户Alltheprofitsarestillfloodingintoyouraccounts.这样吧,没事,你就继续做你在做的事Youknow?Nevermind.Uh,justkeepdoingwhatyou'redoing.班德!来喔,谁想喝小班啤酒？Bender!Here,boy!WhowantsaBendyBrew?（低俗啤酒）我们永远找不到他了We'llneverfindhim.这里肯定有十亿个机器人Theremustbeabillionrobotsinhere.那从数学来看他们当中至少有十个一定是班德Then,mathematically,atleast10ofthemmustbeBender.谁有买♥♥东西吗？Didsomebodyordersomething?大概吧Probably.怎么了？你关掉茵蔓莎了吗？Whathappened?DidyoushutdownInvasa?没有,没有关机按钮,我们出去吧Oh,no,no.Nooffbutton.Let'sjustgetouttahere.没找到班德就不出去但我们不知道他在哪里！NotwithoutBender!Butwedon'tknowwhereheis.你们想要前往班德的路线吗？WouldyoulikedirectionstoBender?想！Yes!稍微左转,然后突然紧急右转！Makeaslightleft,thenswerverightsuddenly!30公尺后往上转In100feet,turnup.它总是要你在没有红绿灯的地方转弯Ugh!Italwaysmakesyouturnwherethere'snotrafficlight.五秒钟后你会撞上你的目的地Infiveseconds,youwillcollidewithyourdestination.我没看到他Uh,Idon'tseehim.班德!Bender!我好担心你Iwassoworriedaboutyou.那你干嘛撞我？Thenwhy'dyourunmeover?别胡闹了,班德StopClowningaround,Bender.我们逃脱的唯一希望是冲破外圆顶Ouronlyhopeforescapeistobustthroughtheouterdome.全速前进！Fullspeedahead!倒数五秒冲撞,五、四、三Impactinfive,four,three.四、五four,five?怎么了？你的数数怎么跟我一样乱？What