ParksandRecreation《公园与游憩（2009）》第二季第十一集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

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1、Leslie-怎么了Ron1.eslie.-Whatsup,Ron?我需要你去趟四楼的机动车管理局mgonnaneedyoutogouptotheBureauofMotorVehiclesonthefourthfloor.我们得说服他们免除公园货车逾期的注册费WegottatalkourselvesoutofthislateregistrationfeefortheParksvan.不要啊我才不想去四楼啊Comeon.Idontwanttogotothefourthfloor.那是地球上最毛骨悚然的地方ThatisthecreepiestplaceonEarth.四楼很可怕Thefourthf

2、loorisawful.车管所离婚登记缓刑工作室恶TheDMV,divorcefilings,probationoffices.Ugh!他们放了个爆米花机缓解气氛Theyputapopcornmachineuptherejusttobrightenthingsup,但他们用错了油buttheyusedthewrongkindofoil,一堆人得去换喉管了andabunchofpeoplehadtogettheirthroatsreplaced.他们只和你或者我聊Theyllonlytalktoyouorme,而我去不了因为我不想去andIcantgo,becauseIdon,twantto.好

3、吧Okay.嘿宝你挺好看啊Hey,boo.Yourepretty.呃谢谢你先生Uh.Thankyou,sir.嘿妹子Hey,girl.你在缓刑期吗Areyouonprobation?我有干净尿液你需要女尿吗我有女的Igotcleanurine.Youneedfemale?Igotfemale.我没事谢谢-嘿你干净吗我也买♥♥mgood,thankyou.-Hey,youclean?Ibuy,too.肃静肃静Order.Order!下个案子印第安纳州公诉Nextcase.Indianavs.我知道我只是跟你说Iknow,mjusttellingyou.离婚法庭Tom和

4、Wendy吗TomandWendy?爆米花要吗Popcorn?公园与游憩公园与游憩公园与游憩第2季第11集第2季第11集所以TomSo,Tom,你的生活怎么样啊howseverythinginyourlife,generally?太棒了冒了个险网上买♥♥了双鞋Amazing.Tookarisk.Boughtsomeshoesonline.如你所见帅气地值了PaidOffhandsomely,asyoucansee.嗯哼Uh-huh.你的那个那个机构呢你作为其中成员的Andhowareyourinstitutions,thatyoureapartof?啊你听说我离婚了

5、Ah.Youheardaboutmydivorce?我看到你出现在四楼了我非常非常抱歉Isawyouonthefourthfloor.mso,sosorry.说实话没事Honestly,itsfine.比艾薇儿和Sum41那个家伙更久对吧1.astedlongerthanAvrilLavigneandtheguyfromSum41,amIright?我不知道这些是啥Tom别假忙了Idontknowwhatthoseare.Look,Tom,stopworking.哇Whoa!要是保存了就好了Wouldhavebeennicetohavesavedthat.你应该自动保存的Youshouldve

6、auto-savedthat.那感觉是你的错Thatkindoffeelslikeyourfault.你看我听到你接她电♥话♥时的声音了1.ook,veheardyourvoicewhenshecallsyouonthephone.我看到她离开时你看着她屁♥股♥的眼神veseenyoulookatherasswhensheleavestheroom.你爱她啊Youloveher.1.eslie你想做的事情我心领了1.eslie,Ireallyappreciatewhatyouretryingtodo,但我没事butmfine.看看我的脸你

7、在看吗1.ook,lookatmyface.Areyouwatching?我做了点小研究Ididalittleresearch,发现离婚是个人生活中压力第二大的事情anddivorceisthenumbertwomoststressfuleventinapersonslife.当然结婚是第七所以要当心了所有人Ofcourse,marriageisnumberseven.So,watchout,everyone.都不是好事Itsallbad.我们得站出来帮助TomWehavetostepup,forTomssake.我觉得Tom看起来没问题啊IthinkTomseemsfine.这就是问题Wel

8、l,thatistheproblem.Tom总是看着像个滑头酷小子TomalwaysseemslikeMr.SlicksterCoolGuy,但他其实会把情绪buthesactuallyhidinghisemotions埋藏在厚厚的男士香水之下underneathaverythicklayerofAxebodyspray.我们必须帮助他我们是他的安全气泡Wehavetohelphim.Wearehissafebubble.她说得没错他的家人都不在这Sheskindofright.Noneofhisfamilyliveshere,他的朋友不是兄弟会就是傻瓜andallofhisfriendsar

9、efratguysandmorons.这好像不关我们的事啊Thisseemslikenoneofourbusiness.支持一下好嘛Besupportive,okay?别表现得像“不我才不想Dontbeall,like,No,Idontwantto.“我是个男的我喜欢玩火打曲棍球和吃肉IamaguyandIlikefireandplayinghockeyandeatingmeat!“不不我说No,no,saysI!这个Ron模仿得真像ThatwasareallygoodRon.谢谢Thankyou.我不知道怎么解释.Idontknowhowtoexplain.嘿MarkHey,Mark.擦鞋摊

10、还是没有你一直问的梅毒药Theshoeshinestandstilldoesnthavethatsyphilismedicationyouwereaskingabout.Ann嘿真巧啊Ann,hey!Whatacoincidence!你来这个办公室完全是执行公事吗Areyouinthisofficepurelyforbusinessreasons?执行私事实际上我男朋友Mark在这上班Pleasure,actually.MyboyfriendMarkworkshere.他就坐在我旁边He,ssittingrightnexttome.嘿AndyHey,Andy.很惊讶能见到你啊一整天每一天每一个

11、我们在的地方Whatasurprise,runningintoyouallday,everyday,everysingleplacethatweare.我也是那我们回见1.ikewise.WelLIguessllseeyouguysaround.再见啊Seeyou.哦呃还有Mark再说一次Oh!Uh,also,Mark,again,我们没有你预定的那种特小号♥安全套Wedon,thavethoseextra-smallcondomsyouordered.我打电♥话♥给工厂了需要特别定制Icalledthefactory,itsgonnatakeaspe

12、cialorder.不光是因为大小还有奇怪形状的原因Notjustbecauseofthesize,butbecauseoftheweirdshapeaswell.他们之前没处理过我们回聊Somethingtheyveneverdealtwithbefore.Welltalk.Mark从没找我问过小号♥奇形怪状的安全套Markneveraskedmeforanysmall,weirdly-shapedcondoms.我编的Imadethatup.每一天我巧妙地损害他们的感情Everyday,Isubtlychipawayattheirrelationship.一点一点地破坏Wea

13、keningit,littlebylittle.TomHaverford在哪呢WheresTomHaverford?我的阎王啊For*sake.*所以你离婚了当然了必须了*So,youhadadivorce,ofcourse,ofcourse*没人能享受离婚的必须了*Andnooneenjoysadivorce,ofcourse我不知道怎么做啊1dontknowwhattodo,man.我不能说嘿LeSlie是绿卡婚姻啦我好得很”Icantbelike,Hey,Leslie,it,sagreencardmarriage,mfine.你知道Leslie觉得你是只受伤的动物Youknow,Lesl

14、iejustthinksyoureawoundedanimal,所以她的母性本能开始运作了这是你要做的soherfemaleinstinctsarekickingin.Hereswhatyoudo.表现悲伤让她拔掉你爪子上的刺Actsad,letherpullthethornoutofyourpaw给你包扎伤口andwrapabandagearoundit.这样她就安心了她就不会折腾你了Thatllmakeherfeelbetter.Shellgetoffyourjock.你还是不能告诉任何人绿卡的事Youstillcanttellanyoneaboutthegreencardthing.显然

15、离婚之后还是会碰上麻烦的Apparentlyyoucangetintroubleevenafteradivorce.该死没事嘿我会保守你的秘密的Damntheman.Well,hey,yoursecretssafewithme.CondoleezzaRice美国国务卿谢RondoleezzaRiceThanks,RondoleezzaRice.好的各位谣言为真Wendy和我要分开了Okay,everyone.Therumorsaretrue.WendyandIaresplittingup.是我很伤心Yeah,mreallyhurt.致以深切同情我的朋友msosorryyoufeelthatwa

16、y,littlefriend.我们要不晚上出去下班后去玩吧怎样Whydontwegoouttonight,hitthetownafterwork,huh?我们定为Tom之夜你想去哪就去哪我们请客WellmakeitTomsnight.Youcangoanywhereyouwant,ourtreat.哦我知道艺术馆在放很有趣的两座脚踏车纪录片Oh,Iknowthere,sareallyfundocumentaryabouttandembicyclesatthearthouse.听起来很不赖Itssupposedtobeprettyunapologetic.或者我们去个餐厅Orwecouldgot

17、oarestaurant.脱衣舞谁说过脱衣舞了吗Stripclub?Didsomebodysaystripclub?没-是谁说过脱衣舞了吗No.-Didsomebodysaystripclub?你自己说的我肯定听见谁说脱衣舞俱乐部了Youdid.-1definitelyheardsomeonesaystripclub.你刚说的-亮片工厂Youjustdid.-WouldtheGlitterFactorybeokay对刚刚说脱衣舞那个人来说可以吗withwhoeversuggestedstripclub?我觉得这不太好TomIdontthinkthat,sagoodidea,Tom.Patter

18、son有个很好的恐龙主题餐厅叫侏罗纪刀叉Thereisagreatdinosaur-themedrestaurantinPatterson.ItiscalledJurassicFork.我过去15年里每周去三次Ihavegonetherethreetimesaweekforthelast15years.哦恐龙哎Ooh!Dinosaurs,huh?好吧听起来行Allright.Soundsokay.好的今晚大家疯起来Okay!Itsgonnabeacrazynight,guys!我们下午5:45侏罗纪刀叉见-是IwillseeyouatJurassicForkat5:45p.m.-Yes.嗨欢迎

19、光临侏罗纪刀叉Hi.WelcometoJurassicFork,唯一会灭绝的是你的食欲wheretheonlythingthatllbeextinctisyourappetite.准备点单吗-好的Youreadytoorder?-Yes.我想要牙买♥♥加风干鸡龙肉卷速食套餐IwillhavetheJamaicanJerkChickenVeloci-Wrap.我来一份三角恐龙排骨mgonnagettheTricera-chops,please.你想要几分熟的呢Howdoyouwantthatcooked?五分吼Mediumroar.五分熟Mediumrare?不五分吼

20、No,mediumroar.处于法律原因我们不允许再对Forlegalreasons,werenotallowedtomakepuns肉类温度玩谐音梗了aboutthetemperatureofthemeatsanymore.我要一份海鲜牛龙排llhavetheSUrfLand-turf-a-saurus,然后来几瓶红酒andacoupleofbottlesofwine.我需要很多酒所以连着上吧mgonnaneedalotofwine,sokeepitflowing.我什么都不喝mnotgonnabedrinkinganything.只想让所有人都知道Justwantedeverybodyto

21、knowthat.我不太喜欢聚餐mnotabigfanofgroupdinners因为大家不管点什么都要平分账单whereeverybodysplitsthebillnomatterwhattheyget.我点了一份霸王龙撒沙拉IorderedaTyranna-Caesarsalad,我只付这个的钱andthatsallmpayingfor.嘿你们开还有台球读Hey,checkitout.Theygotpool.Mark要快速来一局吗Mark,youwanttoplayaquickgame?彻底解决谁打得更好的问题Finallysettlethedebateaboutwhosthebetter

22、poolplayer?我从来没跟任何人有这个问题Andyveneverhadthatdebatewithanyone,Andy.来吧我们赌点钱Comeon,we,llputalittlemoneyonit.搞得有意思点Makeitalittlemoreinteresting.Andy拜托不我就觉得Andy,please.-No,Ijustfigured桌球都是角度问题他又是个失败的建筑师becausepoolisallaboutanglesandhesafailedarchitect可能他会想打桌球thathemightwanttoplaypool.来吧-真的吗这都行1.etsdoit.-Re

23、ally?Thatworked?如何忽悠一个人玩桌球作者AndyDwyerHowtohustlesomebodyinpool,byAndyDwyer.第一步找到你准备忽悠的那个人Stepone,findthepersonyouwanttohustle.邀请他们玩桌球Invitethemtoplaypool.如果他们接受那就搞定了Shouldtheyaccept,yourein.这是我觉得我们要做的HereswhatIthinkweshoulddo.所有人轮流说一件他们爱Tom的事情EveryoneshouldgoaroundandsayonethingthattheyloveaboutTom.

24、由我开始Illstart.我真心希望我能有你的身体-啥IreallywishIcouldhaveyourbody.-What?恶心是紧缚全♥裸♥扔在地卜室吗Ew!Like,tiedup,naked,inyourbasement?不不我是说你身材很好想吃什么都可以No,no.Imean,you,reingoodshapeandyoucaneatwhateveryouwant.好吧还是很怪啊JerryWell,thatwasweird,Jerry.Ann你继续Ann,yougoahead.我觉得TOm是个好人IthinkTomisreallynice.还有你们要是能把信

25、♥用♥卡&hear6都给我Also,ifyouguyswanttogivemeyourcreditcards,我把账单分一下我不介意的lljustdivideitupmyseltIdontmind.哦天不用担心了Oh,myGod!Dontworryaboutit.餐厅会平均费用的Therestaurantwilljustdivideitevenly.好好享受吧APriI继续Justenjoyyourself.April,goahead.Tom是办公室里唯一酷的人Tomistheonlycoolpersonintheoffice.荒谬Donna呢Ridiculous.

26、Donna?我爱你Tom你是我的小王子Iloveyou,Tom.Youremylittleprince.我只想给你套上小披风和小帽子然后带你飞来飞去Ijustwanttoputyouinalittlecapeandalittlehatandjustflyyouaround.谢谢了Donna嘿小弟Thankyou,Donna.Hey,garon.我还是很伤心给我来两份焦糖布丁mstillfeelingprettysad.CanIgettwocremebrulees再来一杯灰皮诺吧andanotherglassofbrontogrigio?我觉得我看清Tom了但好像他是在假装难过啊Ithought

27、IhadTomallfiguredout,butit,salmostlikehesfakingbeingsad.为什么他要这公做啊Whywouldhedothat?游戏结束你现在欠我25刀了Andthatsgame.Ithinkyounowoweme$25.干某人小时候学过啊哈Shoot.Someonehadapooltablegrowingup,huh?嘿不不我们再来一局吧Hey,no,no.Whatdoyousayweplayagain?我们玩点升级的双倍或者勾销Wellmakeitalittlemoreinteresting.Godoubleornothing?何不试试呢Whynot?第

28、二步Steptwo.故意输给对手以增长对方自信心1.osetoyouropponentintentionallysotheygainconfidence.第二步已轻松完成Steptwohasbeencompletedeasily.非常轻松Mark桌球打得挺好的Veryeasily.Markisprettygoodatpool.所以你感觉如何Tom你觉得还好吗So,howareyoufeeling,Tom?Areyoufeelingokay?我喜欢假装伤心我现在知道女孩子们为啥这样了Ilikepretendingtobesad.Inowseewhygirlsdoit.所以你和Wendy的协议是完

29、全柏拉图式的吗So,yourarrangementwithWendy,itreallywascompletelyplatonic?是啊甚至都没有亲过Yeah.Neversomuchasevenkissed,也就是结婚仪式上为了仪式啄了一下exceptforalittlepeckattheweddingceremonyforappearances.呃现在你离婚了Uh,nowthatyouregettingdivorced,我感觉我跟Wendy可能有点潜在的可能性IsortoffeelliketheremaybesomepotentialwithmeandWendy.如果这些假事情都结束之后我约她

30、出去你介意吗WoulditbeokaywithyouifIwastoaskherout,oncethefakedustsettles?可以啊当然Yeah,whynot?Sure.看到她我觉得她可能是我完美的搂抱体型1.ookingather,Ifeellikeshemightbetheperfectspooningsizeforme.我去放个水mgonnatakealeak.哦现在就是$6♥4♥00了Oh!Thatwouldbe$6,400.我接受支票和绝大多数信♥用♥卡♥Iacceptchecksandmostmajorc

31、reditcards.对吼Yeah!Mark比我强很多我想.Markiswaybetterthanme.mgonna.我想说至少有一点点机会mgonnasaythatthereisatleastachance我没把这事想清楚thatIdidntthinkthisthroughcompletely.我觉得我打够了Andy1thinkmdone,Andy.好吧不赌钱了Okay.Forgetmoney.我们玩点其他的Wellplayforsomethingelse.你已经没有其他东西给我了Youhavenothingelsetogiveme.我有件扑倒EddieVedder时穿的T恤无价之宝Ihav

32、eaT-shirtItackledEddieVedderin.Itsliterallypriceless.好吧要不这样如果你赢了你不欠我一分钱Okay,howaboutthis?Ifyouwin,youdontowemeanymoney,如果我赢了你别再骚扰我和AnnbutifIwin,youhavetostopbuggingmeandAnn.你在讲什么Whatareyoutalkingabout?别再评论别再在我俩相处的时候突然出现Nomorecomments,nomoreshowingupwhenwerehangingouttogether.你离我们远点Youhavetoleaveusal

33、one.这听起来不算公平啊MarkThatdoesn,tseemlikeaveryfairbet,Mark.所以如果我赢了我也能得到AnnSo,ifIwin,IalsogetAnn.好的行如果你赢Ann就是你的Okay,fine.Ifyouwin,thenyougetAnn.摆球!Rackthemup!谁先开打啊Somebodypunchsomeone!你怎么样啦兄弟想来点牛排香槟So,howyoudoing,buddy?Wantsomesteak?Champagne?想到啥奢侈的我们都能搞来Thinkofsomethingextravagantandwellgetitforyou.你想要啥奶

34、酪喷泉红宝石Whatdoyouwant?Acheesefountain?Aruby?鹅心呢Agooseheart?来个婚姻行不行不离婚行不行Howaboutamarriage?Howaboutanon-divorce?Tom我很抱歉可能你们只是需要分开一段时间Tom,Imsorry.Maybeyouguysjustneedsometimeapart,你知道回忆起你们互相有多在乎youknow,torememberhowmuchyoucareabouteachother.Leslie仔细想想吧我们的婚姻在你看来合理吗1.eslie,thinkaboutit.Doesourmarriagereal

35、lymakesensetoyou?她是个又高又漂亮的外科医生Shesatall,beautifulsurgeon.我是个矮一点又好看的政♥府♥雇员/俱乐部创办人mashort,beautifulgovernmentemployee/clubpromoter.你是个俱乐部创办人啊Youreaclubpromoter?纯想而已Aspiring.重点是我对她来说什么都不是Thepointis,Inevermeantanythingtoher.甚至不是真的婚姻Itwasntevenarealmarriage.现在悲伤从Tom体内喷涌而出了Now,thesadnessispo

36、uringoutOfTom,像被霸王龙攻击之后翼龙体内喷出的一样likebloodfromapterodactylafterit,sattackedbyaT-Rex.我得带他去一个他不可能伤心的地方Ihavetotakehimtoaplacewherehecantpossiblybesad.哦完蛋Oh,crap.我们去亮片工厂-啥WearegoingtotheGlitterFactory.-What?我不行我不能回去了Notme.Icantgobackthere.但你要是看到茉莉的话告诉她Anthony可以留着ButifyouseeJasmine,tellhershecankeepAnthon

37、y,但我的微波炉要还给我butIwantmymicrowaveback.好的好你带April回家Okay,good.YouregonnatakeAprilhome.不我也想去亮片工厂No,IwanttogototheGlitterFactory.那就退学然后开始嗑药我们走Well,dropoutofschoolandstartdoingmeth.Letsgo,everybody.亮片工厂1.eslie非常感谢你想要做的一切1.eslie,Iappreciatewhatyouretryingtodo,但你一旦进去了有些东西的记忆就抹不掉了butonceyougointhere,youwillse

38、ethingsyoucannotun-see.我是个女权主义者好吧我永远永远不会进脱衣舞俱乐部mafeminist,okay?Iwouldnever,evergotoastripclub.我明确表态如果我有一个脱衣舞艺名vegoneonrecordthatifIhadtohaveastrippersname,会叫做“平等”itwouldbeEquality.但我愿意牺牲我努力的一切Butmwillingtosacrificeallthatveworkedfor只为让你的变♥态♥小脸能绽放笑容justtoputasmileonyourpervertedlittlefa

39、ce.所以别搞黄了-好吧Sodontblowthis.-Allright.好嘲大腿舞算我的我是说我付钱Okay!Lapdancesareonme.Imean,mpayingforthem.不在我身上跳明白Theyrenotgonnaactuallybeonme.-Gotit.我感觉自己是研究猩猩的JaneGoodall你明白吗IkindoffeellikeJaneGoodallstudyingthechimps,youknow?因为有些女权学者认为脱衣舞是女权主义的行为Causetherearesomefeministscholarswhosaythatstrippingisafeminist

40、act.这有个妹子也在三明治店上班ThereisagirlherethatalsoworksatQuiznos.她在这对我特别好但在三明治店对我特别刻薄Shesreallynicetomehere,butreallymeantomeatQuiznos.好的Tom把这些塞到我没批准过的地方Okay,Tom,goputtheseinplacesIdonotapproveof.1.eslie我会把这些塞到你没听说过的地方1.eslie,mgonnaputtheseinplacesyouveneverheardof.是的我有点沮丧完全正常我离婚了啊Yeah,vebeenalittledown.Tota

41、llynatural.mgettingdivorced.但现在我准备用丁字裤把自己重新拉起来了Butnow,Imreadytopullmyselfupbysomeg-strings.天啊这里还真是粗暴啊一直都是这样的吗God!Itisroughinhere.Isitalwayslikethis?我不知道不喜欢脱衣舞俱乐部Iwouldntknow.Dontlikestripclubs.闻起来像是湿拖把Smellslikeawetmopinhere.我也感觉这里的每一个女人都在发低烧AndIgetthefeelingthateveryoneofthesewomenisrunningalow-gra

42、defever.你是个好男人RonYoureoneofthegoodones,Ron.稍等一下Waitaminute.你好啊美人Hello,beautiful.脱衣舞娘我完全没兴趣我喜欢坚强沉着的Strippersdonothingforme.Ilikeastrong,salt-of-the-earth,脚踏实地又处领域顶端的女人self-possessedwomanatthetopofherfield.SteffiGraf网球明星SherylSwoopesWNBA运动员你们的SteffiGraf你们的SherylSwoopesYourSteffiGrafs,yourSherylSwoopes

43、es.但我随时随地都能来一份免费自助早餐ButIwilltakeafreebreakfastbuffetanytimeanyplace.免费自助早餐汤姆猫张卜嘴吧这里的自助简直停不下来Tomcat,pullupamouth.Thisbuffetisunstoppable.啊我不饿Yeah,mnothungry.顺便你假装为Wendy伤心的工作完成得太出色了Bytheway,youredoingabang-upjoboflookingsadaboutWendy.她会炒蛋吗Doesshemakescrambledeggs?不会No.省省吧Takeitdownanotch.你已经赢得奥斯卡了小李Yo

44、ualreadywonyourOscar,DiCaprio.下一个上台的是AngelAngelComingonstagenextisAngel.Angel!Ann如果我搞砸了的话跟你约会很开心Ann,incaseIdontsinkthis,itsbeenarealpleasuredatingyou.白球进袋了Scratchontheeight!我胜利了我台球打得太棒了骗得你落花流水mvictorious.IamawesomeatpoolandIhustledyourass.Ann好好说声再见吧Ann,takeamomenttosaygoodbye.我不知道该怎么说我很抱歉Idontevenkn

45、owhowtosaythis.Iamsosorry,我会尽量在假期探望你的andIwilldomybesttovisityouonholidays.谢谢你努力过了Thanks,youtried.我猜你现在是他的了Iguessyourehisnow.你想走了吗Doyouwanttogetoutofhere?走吧好Ido.Yeah.拜AndyBye,Andy.我知道法律上讲Ann已经是我的了Iknowthat,legally,Annisnowmine,但很奇怪地我不这么觉得butitweirdlydoesn,tfeelthatway.硬面包好嘲Tom这位是Seabiscuit-SierraAllright,Tom!ThisisSeabiscuit.-Sierra.SieITa抱歉这里太吵了Sierra.Sorry.It,sloudinhere.我付了钱让她在你身上扭动AndIgavehermoneytowrithearoundonyourparts.1.eslie我不想这样1.eslie,Idontwanttodothat.可是我已经付钱了Well,Ialreadypaidher.我可以退款吗不行C