ParksandRecreation《公园与游憩（2009）》第四季第三集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

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1、Wamapoke郡公共电台Pawnee社区电台SupportforPawneeCommunityRadio由WendellG.和MurielFathwrightKorbleman基金会支持播送comesfromtheWendellG.andMurielFathwrightKorblemanFoundation,以及Sweetums关心andSweetumsCares,一家在下雨时给流浪汉带上雨伞帽子的非营利组织anonprofitgroupthatputsumbrellahatsonhomelesspeoplewhenitrains.欢迎收听为您的想法而想WelcometoThoughtsfo

2、ryourthoughts我是DeITyMurbIes给DavidParker代班mDerryMurbIesfillinginforDavidParker,他离开八个月去研究我国松鼠的迁徙习性whotookoffforeightmonthstostudythemigrationpatternsofournation,ssquirrels.我们再没见过他Wehavenotseenhimsince.我今天的客人是作家LeSIieKnopeMyguesttodayisauthorLeslieKnope.本书有实体发行版与剧中展示版本相同作品是Pawnee美国最好的小镇Thebook:Pawnee:T

3、hegreatesttowninAmerica.我写了本书Iwroteabook.Pawnee的第一本历史指南ThefirsthistoricalguidetoPawnee.我本是为r给自己参考用的Iwroteitasareferenceformyself,但然后我的竞选顾问说我们应该把它变成大型广发行的版本butthen,mycampaignadvisorsaidweshouldmakeitabig,widerelease.所以我们请人来投稿加上了图片Sowehadpeoplecontribute,weaddedpictures,然后我们删掉了很多我的诗歌♥情绪化的漫谈和独角兽

4、的图片andWeremovedalotofmypoemsandemotionalramblingsandpicturesofunicorns,然后这就是成品了andhereitis!1.eSHe一个人可以说一本书仅仅是一幅词语编织成的画作1.eslie,couldonesaythatabookisnothingmorethanapaintingofwords,是人类雕刻过最伟大电影中图案上的注解呢whicharethenotesonthetapestryofthegreatestfilmeversculpted?一个人可以这么说Onecouldsaythat.但应该这么说吗Butshouldo

5、ne?下周欢迎收听到时DavidBianculliJoinusnextweekwhenDavidBianculIi会临时替代RichardChang-JeffersonwillbefillinginforRichardChang-Jefferson,他会临时替代我whowillbefillinginforme.1.eslie你能引领我们结束节目吗1.eslie,wouldyouliketotakeusout?好的Okay.”请欣赏一首歌♥曲Pleaseenjoyasong”来自非洲-挪威放克乐女同性恋二人组fromthelesbianAfro-NorwegianFunkduo,N

6、efertiti的峡湾”Nefertiti1SFjord.哦哇她们可真烂啊Oh,wow.Theyareterrible.哦是的她她们确实糟糕Oh,yes.Th-theyrequiteawful.但她们是女同所以Buttheyarelesbians,so-公园与游憩公园与游憩第4季第3集第4季第3集通常我只读航海小说和自己的个人宣言Usually,Ionlyreadnauticalnovelsandmyownpersonalmanifestos,但我很骄傲能为你破例butmproudtomakethisexception.谢谢你RonThankyou,Ron.我期待你们都能自己去买&hearts

7、;♥一木Iexpectallofyoutobuyadditionalcopies.但我希望你们拥有的第一本ButIwantedthefirstonethatyouowned是我亲自送出的签名版tobedeliveredandsignedbyme.天啊这一直写了7页啊God,thisgoesonfor,like,sevenpages!我开始想着作为女人的你Istartedthinkingaboutyouasawoman,然后作为人类的你然后我就放飞了andasaperson,andIgotcarriedaway.好吧我的上面就写着“早日康复”Okay,minejustsays,Ge

8、twellsoon.你不是病了吗Arentyousick?没No.反正有事不对劲Somethingsoff.Leslie我爱你的书Leslie,Ilovedyourbook.我从头到尾读完了哇Ireaditcovertocover.-Wow.我一个小时之前才刚刚给你啊Ijustgaveittoyouanhourago.我是个快速阅读者maspeedreader.我-分钟能读超过三千个单词Icanreadover3,000wordsaminute并完全理解withtotalcomprehension.有一次我在一个车站读完了整本悉达多Onetime,IreadallofSiddharthaata

9、trafficstop.Pawnee最臭名昭著的商人进大楼了Pawneesmostnotoriousbusinessmaninthebuilding.我带r些娱乐7二。的枕套IbroughtsomeEntertainment720pillowcases给你们的枕头用foryourpillow.”不要停止梦想TomHaverfordNeverstopdreaming,TomHaverford.我从来不ChrisTraegerIneverdo.ChrisTraeger.尊敬很识货啊Respect.Gamerecognizegame.Tom我一小时之后要上今日Pawnee)TTom,IhavePaw

10、neeTodayinanhour.我的书选进Joan的读书会了吗Wasmybookselectedfor)oan,sbookclub?JoanCallamezzo有个读书会啊JoanCallamezzohasabookclub?JoanCallamezzo四年前开了个读书会JoanCallamezzostartedabookclubfouryearsago.她现在是镇上读书的时尚风向标Andnowsheistheliterarytastemakerinthetown.时间旅行者的验光师TheTimeTravelersOptometrist,Pawnee本土作家PenelopeFoster的作品

11、byPawneesownPenelopeFoster.一个史前眼科医生穿越到当代辛辛那提Aheartwarmingstoryaboutacavemaneyedoctorwhotravelstopresent-dayCincinnati能看到一切除了爱情andcanseeeverythingbutlove.不值读Unreadable.然后Joan把贴纸拍在上面了ThenJoanslapsherstickeronit,连续四年最佳畅销书bestseller,fouryearsinarow.你跟我说过你能犒到那个贴纸的你搞到了吗Youtoldmeyoucouldgetmethatsticker.Di

12、dyougetit?我尝试过Lesliemtrying,Leslie.但Joan接到匿名举报称ButJoangotananonymoustip你的书里有事实性错误thattheresafactualinaccuracyinyourbook.不可能啊Thatsimpossible.我跟历史协会检查过每一个细节了Icheckedeverydetailwiththehistoricalsociety.她说过是什么了吗Didshesaywhatitwas?她不告诉我Shewon,ttellme.我觉得她想要她那种大型的“抓到你啦瞬间Ithinkshewantsoneofherbiggotchamome

13、nts.嗯她可别想“抓到你啦我Well,shesnotgonnagetchme.我没找到错误Ifoundnoinaccuracies.JoanCallamezzo声称我的书里有错误JoanCallamezzoclaimsthereisamistakeinmybook,当然没有whichthereisnot,而现在她想用这个小细节来搞定我andsonow,she,stryin,togetmeonatinytechnicality.如果万一有错误Sojustincasethereisamistake,虽然没有whichthereisnot,我需要你们所有人检杳每一个细节的事实Ineedallofy

14、oufact-checkingeverysingledetail.Jerry我需要你上路Jerry,Ineedyoutohittheroad重新采访每一个在镇外的人andre-intervieweveryonewholivesoutoftown.好的老板Onit,boss.剩下的人一旦找到那个不存在的错误赶紧打给我Therestofyou,callmeassoonasyoufindthemistakethatdoesnotexist.你觉得这里真的会有错误吗Doyouthinktheresactuallyamistakeinhere?我怀疑Idoubtit1.eslie唯一不会的事情Ifthe

15、resonethingLeslie,snot,就是草率itssloppy.她也不会简洁Shesalsonotbrief.这要花好久了Thisisgonnatakeforever.只有我们了我希望It,sjustus,Ihope.我也指望啊Iwish.嘿伙计们Hey,guys!准备好检查事实了吗Readytodosomefact-checkin?开始了帮助LeslieHerewego.HelpingLeslie.好吧Okey-doke.嗨我是JoanCallamezzoHi.)oanCallamezzo.哦是的嗨BenWyattOh,yeah.Hi.BenWyatt.我-我们见过的W-wevem

16、et.我不觉得啊Idontthinkso.是啊我上过你的节目Yeah,Iwasonyourshow.没Nope.DavidGuetta/Akon-SexyChick*我试着找词语来形容这个女孩*JmtryintofindthewordstodescribethisgirlJ*而不会显得太奇怪*JwithoutbeindisrespectfulJ把那本书塞进JOan的读书会真的会帮到LeslieGettingthebookintoJoansbookclubwillreallyhelpLeslie.但那也会帮到我的公♥司♥娱乐7二OButitllalsohelpmyco

17、mpany,Entertainment720.冒着吹牛的风险我最擅长的事情之一就是依靠别人的成功Attheriskofbragging,oneofthethingsmbestatisridingcoattails.每一个成功的男人背后.Behindeverysuccessfulman.是我笑着把一部分归功于自己Isme,smilingandtakingpartialcredit现在关于Leslie的书Now,aboutLesliesbook.我会开心吗AmIgonnabehappy?拭目以待吧我们哦We,11see,wontwe?Ooh!哇你俩在一起还真是可爱啊Wow,youguysarere

18、allycutetogether.Ben我和谁在一起都很可爱Ben,mcutetogetherwitheverybody.有人找到错误了吗Anyonefindanymistakes?实际上找到了Yeah,actually.这里说Pawnee是个很棒的地方Inhere,itsaysthatPawneeisgreat.但现实中它很烂Butinreality,itsterrible.让TOm知道我们什么都没找到1.etTomknowwehaventfoundanything.嘿我在想换个新手♥机♥Hey,Imthinkingaboutgettinganewphone.你们

19、喜欢自己的手♥机♥吗Doyouguyslikeyourphones?我这辈子从没用过手♥机♥veneverusedaphoneinmylife.那你呢Ron你喜欢你的手♥机♥吗Whataboutyou,Ron?Doyoulikeyourphone?这是我的目标Heresmygoal.我要让这两个我认识了很久的人mgonnagetthesetwopeoplethatIveknownforalongtime跟我聊五分钟totalktomeforfiveminutes.我骗谁呢WhoamIkidding?一分钟One

20、minute.一分钟也很厉害了Oneminutewouldbeamazing.所以LeslieSo,Leslie.你是真正的Pawnee本地人不是么YourearealnativeofPawnee,arentyou?1.eslieKnope:(Pawnee)作者是的我是这里土生土长的JoanYes,Iwasbornandraisedhere,Joan.而我爱这个镇爱到给它写了一本书AndIlovethetownsomuch,Iliterallywrotethebookonit.我这里就有呢Ihaveitrighthere.而且这只手里我有张贴纸Andalso,inthishand,righth

21、ere,Ihaveasticker.如果贴上了就在法律上确定Joan读书会的最新选择了Which,whenapplied,legallydeterminesthenewestselectionofJoansbookclub.呃哦哇Uh.Oh.Whoa!哪-在这边吗Where-overhere?还是在背后呢Backhere?现在在哪了-来嘛贴上Whereisitnow?-Comeon,stickit.哦哦等等-贴上贴纸贴上贴-Ooh.Oh,hangon-Stickthesticker.Stickthest-不不不没那么快贴上去啊No,no,no.Notsofast.-Putiton.我们收到小道

22、消息说你Wereceivedatipthatyou,1.eslie”土生土长的Knope1.esliebornandraisedKnope,不是在Pawnee出生的werenotborninPawnee.什么What?抓到你啦Gotcha!因为你对此撒谎Andbecauseyouliedaboutit,我们不能把它选进读书会了wecannotmakethisabookclubselection.我是Pawnee出生的IwasborninPawnee.我可以赌上我的名声dstakemyreputationonit.我必须告诉你这听起来像是刻意制♥造♥“抓到你啦”新闻I

23、havetotellyou,thisfeelslikegotchajournalism.1.eslieKnope:作者，移♥民♥以什么方式呢Inwhatway?就那种方式啊你把“抓到你啦”印我脸上了Thatway.Youputgotchaonmyface.广♥告♥之后Afterthebreak:1.eslieKnope实际上出生在哪儿呢WherewasLeslieKnopeactuallyborn?PawneePawnee!我们会打开世界地图疯狂推测Wewillpullouttheworldmapandspeculatewildly.*J

24、oan抓到啦*JJoangotchaJ哦天别请上“抓到你啦”舞蹈演员啊Oh,God.Notthegotchadancers.*赌你觉得你能逃过我们抓*Jbetchathoughtyoudgetawaywitcha?*但你被抓到了不是嘛*Jbutchagotcaughdidntya?J*Joan抓到啦*fJoangotchaJ这也太卑鄙了Thatwasdespicable!她的伎俩太恐怖了Iamhorrifiedathertactics.虽然这久说表演确实很活泼啊Thatsaid,theshowwasprettylively.*Joan抓到啦*JJoangotchaJ*打脸疼吧*J,dontit

25、hurtcha?J朗朗上口Ifsverycatchy.好的BenTomOkay,Ben,Tom,你俩呆在这儿粘着Joan搞到那张贴纸youstayhere,stayonJoan.Getthatsticker.ChrisAndy我们保持原计划Chris,Andy,weregonnastayonschedule,我们要来点损失控制了andweregonnadosomedamagecontrol.好了所有人行动Allright.Everybodymove!走走走Move,move,move!整个事件目前由联邦管辖Thisentireeventisunderfederaljurisdiction.除非

26、他出了事Unlesshe,sintrouble,这份工作只有一个人选there,sonlyonemanforthejob.BertMacklinFBIBertMacklin,FBI.你以为我已经死了吗YouthoughtIwasdead?总统的敌人们也觉得Sodidthepresidentsenemies.需要我们就打电♥话♥Callifyouneedus.好吧Okay.行了我们不用再检杳事实了Allright,sowedonthavetofact-checkanymore.但Leslie想让我们都在一级警戒状态ButLesliewantsustobeonready

27、-alertone以防什么事情再出现justincasesomethingcomesup.现在我能完成点实际工作了NowIcangetsomerealworkdone.我想如果可以我就在这儿和你们呆着吧Youknow,Ithinkmjustgonnahangoutherewithyouguys,ifthat,scool.不可以Itsnot.很棒Great我可以走我可以Icouldleave.Icould.但我不会Butmnotgoingto.我要得到我的一分钟闲聊该死的Iwillgetmyoneminuteofsmalltalk,damnit.它会很随意Anditwillbecasual,它会

28、很友好的anditwillbeamicable!1.eslie走了吗DidLeslieleave?我们想让她在“抓到啦”墙上签名Wewantedhertosignthegotchawall.JoanieJoanie.别这样啊那是什么啊Comeon,now.Whatwasthat?我觉得我们能拿到那张贴纸的Ithoughtweweregonnagetthatsticker.对不起了TomSorry,Tom.但我首要的还是一位记者ButIam,firstandforemost,ajournalist.让我们请你吃午饭吧1.etustakeyoutolunch.好吗我们来聊聊那本书Okay?We,l

29、ltalkaboutthebook.然后看看还能发生什么吧And.Whateverelsemaycomeup.让我换上更诱人的衣服1.etmegochangeintosomethingmoretantalizing.好吗Allright?所以怎么我们要请她吃午饭了So,what?Weretakinghertolunchnow?BenLeslie雇了我的公♥司♥帮她搞到那张贴纸Ben,Lesliehiredmycompanytogetherthatsticker.还是你告诉我Youretheonethattoldme生意需要”客户“来赚钱”的啊businessesne

30、edclientstogetmoney.我是第一个这么跟你说的吗Iwasthefirstonetotellyouthat?别担心这事我稳操胜券了Dontworry.Thisisinthebag.Joan是个已婚女性)oan,samarriedwoman.她想要她得不到的东西Shewantswhatshecan,thave.猫鼠游戏而已It,sagameofcatandmouse.感谢各位前来Thankyouallforcoming.我们的旅程从第一页开始前言Ourjourneybeginsonpageone,thepreface.哦天请说Oh,boy.Yes?我想我可以代表整个世界上所有人问这

31、个问题IthinkIspeakonbehalfofeveryoneintheentireworldwhenIsay.我们需要知道你事实上是在哪出生的Weneedtoknowthetruthaboutwhereyouwereborn.好吧嗯-LeSIieOkay.Well-Leslie?让我来处理吧1.etmehandlethis.这真的重要吗Doesitreallymatter?你们当做又有多少人是真的出生在Pawnee的呢Imean,howmanyofyouwereactuallyborninPawnee?果然Sureenough.不管你听说了什么夫人Nomatterwhatyouheard

32、,maam,事实就是我是在这里出生的thetruthis,Iwasbornhere.如果你真的是在这出生的Ifyouweresobornhere,你的出生证明呢thenwheresyourbirthcertificate?嗯我没把出生证明带在身上啊-为什么呢Well,Idontcarrymybirthcertificatearoundwithme-Why?你在隐瞒什么吗Becauseyourehidingsomething?你该从哪来回哪去Youshouldgobackwhereyoucamefrom.我就回到了我来的地方啊IambackfromwhereIcamefrom!这句话很让人费解啊

33、Thatsentencewasconfusing!你说不定还是从中国来的呢YoumightaswellbefromChina!那也太离谱了是吗Thatsridiculous!-Isit?我是从这来的mfromhere!这群人变得充满敌意了Knope女士Thiscrowdgettingveryhostile,Ms.Knope.我要把你带离这里了mgonnagetyououttahere.我的天-后退Oh,myGod.-Backoff!走走走-再见啦所有人Go,go,go!-Goodbye,everybody!我18岁的时候ValKilmer在一个商场见到我WhenIwas18,ValKilmer

34、sawmeatamall告诉我我该当模特andtoldmeIshouldmodel.那可没发生过Thatneverhappened.所以JOan婚后生活怎么样So,Joan,howismarriedlifetreatingyou?你丈夫依然知道他是世界上最幸运的男人吗Yourhusbandstillknowhestheluckiestmanintheworld?Santino和我要离婚了SantinoandIaredivorcing.哦Oh.其实挺让人释怀的Ifsactuallyquiteliberating.我是个具有强烈性♥欲♥的女人mawomanwithast

35、rongsexualappetite.我就像是只关在笼G里的孔雀mlikeacagedpeacock,渴求着双腿间能吹来新风yearningforthewindonherhaunches.这个比喻太激烈了Thatsapowerfulmetaphor.或许我们能搞定这个读书会贴纸的事情MaybeWecangetthatbookclubstickerinorder,然后我们能试着打开那个孔雀笼子andwecanworkonunlockinthatpeacockcage.情况已经变了TOmThingshavechanged,Tom.别保证什么你做不到的事情Dontmakeanypromisesyou

36、can,tkeep.我再喝一杯llhaveanotherdrink,右边的这位可爱的焦糖猛♥男♥也是andsowillthisadorablehunkofcarameltomyright.干了TOmDrinkup,Tom.我要去给鼻子补点粉mgonnagopowdermynose.还有其他事情Amongstotherthings.你知道我的意思IfyouknowwhatImean.糟糕Crap.她是准备给她的阴♥道♥补粉吗Isshegonnapowderhervagina?你得帮帮我了哥们-为啥Yougottahelpme,man.-Wh

37、y?看起来还是普通含量的恶心嘛Seemstobegoingtheusualamountofgross.不现在完全不一样了No,thisiswaydifferent.她已经没在结婚了Shesnotmarriedanymore.她喝了差不多五瓶酒Shehad,like,fivebottlesofalcohol,她还叫我“焦糖”shescallinmecaramel.你得在这个情况上泼点冷水啊You,vegottathrowsomecoldwateronthissituation.开始聊一些宅男的东西Starttalkin,aboutnerdstuff.你知道的宅男文化现在已经是主流了Youknow

38、,nerdcultureismainstreamnow.所以你川贬损的方式使用“宅男”这个词的话Sowhenyouusetheword,nerdderogatorily,意味着你才是处于时代思潮之外的那个人meansyouretheonethatsoutoftheZeitgeist.是的这太完美了就像这样Yes,thatsperfectJustlikethat.要表现得极其无聊Beincrediblyboring.好吧我有了一点点进展Well,vemadealittleprogress.我跟APriI到四秒钟了muptofoursecondswithApril.嘿APrilHey,April.

39、我要找点新音乐听听Iwaslookingtogetsomenewmusic,我在想你能不能推荐点东西andIwaswonderingifyoucouldrecommendanything.上网TheInternet.我真喜欢你的发型Ireallylikeyourhaircut.你-你在哪做的啊监狱Where,dw-where,dyougetit?-Prison.你妹妹怎么样了How,syoursisterdoin,?她长疱疹了Shehastheshingles.你在欲望都市里最喜欢的角色是谁WhosyourfavoritecharacteronSexandtheCity?家有阿福里的猪脸外星人

40、AlfAlf.然后.和Ron是九秒钟And.NinesecondswithRon.你被困在一座荒岛上了You,restrandedonadesertisland.你要带去的唯一一样东西会是什么Whatistheonethingthatyoubringwithyou?沉默Silence.我们做了个快速调查Wedidaflashpoll.68%的Pawnee人现在相信你在出生地上撒了谎68%ofPawneeansnowbelieveyourelyingaboutwhereyouwereborn.诚实对选民们是很重要的Honestyisimportanttovoters.13%觉得我眼神疯狂吗13%

41、thinkmcrazy-eyed?什么为什么啊What?Why?无所谓我现在就能结束这些Whatever,Icanendthisnow.这是我的出生证Heresmybirthcertificate.嗯哼Mm-hmm.嗯这上面只写着Wamapoke郡Well,thisjustsaysWamapokeCounty.是啊那是Pawnee所在的郡啊Yeah.ThatsthecountyPawneeisin.嗯不行这个做不到Well,no.Thiswontdoit.你看你已经为此赌上你的名声了See,youstakedyourreputationonthis.所以你需要做的是去Eagleton的郡档案室

42、SoyouneedtogodowntothecountyrecordsofficeinEagleton拿到长的原版的出生证明andgettheoriginal,long-formcertificate.哦天啊别让我去Eagleton啊Oh,God.DontmakemegotoEagleton.Eagleton就是有钱势利混♥蛋♥的地方Eagletonisthelandofrich,snobbyjerks.我书里有整整一章说的都是这个Theresawholechapteraboutitinmybook.我可以再写一本关于Eagleton以及它有多蠢的书Icouldwr

43、iteasecondbookaboutEagletonandhowstupiditis.书名就叫Eagleton:有钱势利混♥蛋♥之地AnddcallitEagleton:Thelandofrich,snobbyjerks.你好啊欢迎来到Wamapoke郡档案室Hello.andwelcometotheWamapokeCountyRecordsOffice,就在这美丽的EagletonhereinbeautifulEagleton.我的名字是AlexisPratchettMynameisAlexisPratchett.省省吧AIeXiSTakeitdownanotc

44、h,Alexis.我需要一份我出生证明的复印件Ineedacopyofmybirthcertificate.哦我很抱歉Ooh,Imsorry.需要三到八周才能拿到出生证明Ittakesthreetoeightweekstoreceiveabirthcertificate.真的吗Really?嗨我是ChrisHi,mChris.我想问问你能不能给我开个绿灯呢Iwaswonderingifyoumightmakeanexceptionforme?哦我很抱歉不行Oh,msorry.No.哇那一般都有用的啊Wow.Thatusuallyworks.哦天啊我讨厌这个蠢镇Oh,God.Ihatethiss

45、tupidtown还有这里所有的愚蠢糟糕的人类withallitsstupid,terriblepeople.我需要那个出生证明Ineedthatbirthcertificate.1.eslie在这等着1.eslie,waithere.BertMacklin来执行任务BertMacklinisonthecase.Andy-不Andy-No.别担心我能做到Dontworry.Icandothis.相信我Believeinme!那个坏掉了Thatsbroken.等等Holdon.1.eslie快点说1.eslie.Realquick.呃把你的姓拼一下Uh,spellyourlastnameforme.*我们为男