ParksandRecreation《公园与游憩（2009）》第五季第十三集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

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1、规划委员会会议进行中所以希望我关于Pawnee公园35个要点的展示没有信息超载So,IhopeIhavenotoverloadedyouwithmy35-pointpresentationonPawneeCommons,但我觉得如果用一个词来总结这个项目butIthinkifIcouldsumupthisprojectinoneword,应该是“引起轰动”itwouldbeDynamite.,”引起轰动“代表着敢于冒险的青年友好的Dynamitestandsfordaring,youth-friendly,自然的惊奇的欢乐的诱人的natural,amazing,merry,inviting,吸

2、引游客的和生态友好的touristattraction-y,andeco-friendly.谢谢你Knope女议员Thankyou,CouncilwomanKnope.非常非常详尽还有那么多缩略词Very,verythoroughandsomanyacronyms.我知道啊Iknow.Jamm议员CouncilmanJamm?谢谢你BillThankyou,Bill.不不用各位坐下就好No,please,everyonebeseated.让记录显示曾有起立鼓掌1.ettherecordshowtherewasastandingovation.不没有啊-没有No,therewasnt.-Ther

3、ewasnot.历史会决定的Historywilldecide.我对48号♥地的计划很简单MyplanforLot48issimple.但能直接塞脸上的东西为啥还要读呢Butwhyreaditwhenyoucanshoveitrightinyourface?我想把这块地卖♥♥给大肚汉堡IwanttosellthislottoPaunchBurger.这是理由Hereswhy.我们赚钱Wemakemoney.他们赚钱Theymakemoney.他们做汉堡Theymakeburgers.我们吃汉堡Weeatburgers.那就是个赢赢赢-赢Thatsawi

4、n-win-win-win.展示结束Jamm退场Presentationover.Jammout.哦天啊Oh,man.有扭扭薯条吗我喜欢他们的扭扭薯条Aretherecurlyfries?IIovetheircurlyfries.AnnAnn.嗯计划委员会有一周时间决定Well,theplanningcommissionhasaweektodecide他们是想要一座美丽革新的社区公园iftheywantabeautiful,innovativecommunitypark还是一堆油腻的猪油炸♥弹♥orabunchofgreasylardbombs.这不是我的偏见mno

5、teditorializing.大肚汉堡销量第一的汉堡真就叫做油腻猪油炸♥弹♥PaunchBurgersnumber-one-sellingburgeristheGreasyLardBomb.给我暗示一下吧你们偏向哪一边Justgivemeahintastowhichwayyouguysareleaning.私下说吗Offtherecord?我们偏向JammWereleaningtowardsJamm.为啥啊你们知道我的计划对社区更好啊Why?Youknowmyplanisbetterforthecommunity.哦确实好太多了但你也还缺$50,000Oh,its

6、waybetter,butyourealsoshort$50,000.我们不能通过一个资金不足的项目Wecantapproveanunderfundedproject.嘿筹到剩下的钱你的公园就到手了Hey,gettherestofthemoney,yougetyourpark.你只有一周时间Youonlyhaveaweek.关F结婚礼物登记再问几个问题Justacoupleofquestionsfortheregistry.结婚日期5月16日Weddingdate,May16th.我们要邀请多少客人来着Howmanyguestsareweinviting?呃大概100个吧-25,000Uh,a

7、bout100.-25,000.我们有一点点分歧Werehavingalittlebitofadispute.我想邀请镇上的每一个人和每一位现任国会议员IwanttoinviteeveryoneinthetownandeverysittingmemberofCongress,而Ben对此有点固执了andBensbeingalittlestubbornaboutit.100人就好Just100.我们要怎么办啊伙计们Whatarewegoingtodo,guys?我们要怎么搞到那些钱Howarewegoingtogetthatmoney?嘿别这样啊Hey,comeon.振作一点小崽崽们Cheeru

8、p,littlepups.登记结婚礼物是你们人生中最重要的时刻了Registeringforyourweddingisthemostimportantmomentofyourlives.爱情1.ove.爱情会褪色的1.ovefadesaway.但物质呢Butthings?物质是永恒的Thingsareforever.这么说太美了原话是达♥赖♥喇♥嘛♥说的吗Thatsbeautiful.DidtheDalaiLamasaythat?哦一个柑橘压汁器Ooh!Acitrusreamer!啊这是给柑橘榨汁的唯一方法Ah!Thisistheonly

9、waytoreamcitrus.这玩意儿你们会需要两个Youregonnaneedtwoofthese.我不想要柑橘压汁器Idontwantacitrusreamer.我不想要任何这些东西1dontwantanyofthisstuff.我唯一想的是和你结婚然后奇迹般地搞到$50,0001.ook,allIwantistobemarriedtoyouandtosomehowget$50,000.嘿等等Hey,hangon.要是我们给公园登记而不是我们的东西呢Whatifweregisterfortheparkinsteadofthestuff?哇哇哇哇Whoa,whoa,whoa,whoa.Be

10、n不能叫东西Ben,itsnotstuff.是物质Itsthings.别听他瞎说物质Dontlistentohim,things.你们太棒了我爱你们Yourewonderful,andIloveyou.好吧这是个好主意解释一下Okay,thisisagoodidea.Explain.好我们可以组织一场晚礼服宴会提供食物和音乐Okay.Wecouldorganizeablack-tiegalawithfoodandmusic或许举办义卖♥♥来筹款andmaybeasilentauctiontoraisemoney.是哦然后人们可以捐款Yeah,andpeoplecou

11、lddonate,或者他们可以出价竞拍公园里所有东西的冠名权ortheycouldbidtoputtheirnamesoneverythinginthepark,比如长椅鹅卵石树木蚂蚁空气likebenches,cobblestones,trees,ants,air.是的有些是可行的Right,someofthatispossible.你真是个天才我们走-好吧Youareagenius.Letsgo.-Okay.嘿伙计们Hey,guys.我真的挺享受这些床单啊非常舒适的mreallyfeelingthesesheets,verycozy.公园与游憩公园与游憩第5季第13集第5季第13集一周后我

12、只想感谢你们所有人这周的辛劳工作Ijustwanttosaythankyouforallyourhardworkthisweek.给你们自己鼓个掌吧Giveyourselvesahand.但你们的鼓掌还太早了Butyourapplauseispremature.是你刚刚跟我们说鼓掌的啊Youjusttoldustoapplaud.嗯如果我跟你说要从桥上跳下去你会跳吗Well,ifItoldyoutojumpoffabridge,wouldyoudoit?我希望如此1hopeso,因为这次宴会能成功的唯一方式becausetheonlywaythatthisgalaisgoingtohappen

13、就是你们按我说的做isifyoudoeverythingIsay.Tom我需要你再联♥系♥这张表上的三家食品供应商Tom,1needyoutocontactthreemorefoodvendorsonthislist,而且需要他们免费提供andtheyneedtodoitforfree.很煎蛋懂了没momelet.Getit?“很简单“很煎蛋”,I,monit；Imomelet?我懂了而且我很喜欢但我现在没时间玩食物谐音梗了Igetit,andIloveit,butIdonthavetimeforfoodpunsrightnow.好我出发了Okay,mheading

14、out.”派”见Good-pie.走Go.“花“肘花我太棒了回见伙计们Gurt.Gogurt.mincredible.Seeyou,guys.好的DonnaJerry.Okay.Donna,Jerry-1.eslie1.eslie!1.eslie我们需要你现在就回到指挥中心1.eslie,weneedyoubackatthecommandcenterrightnow!我们遭遇了一级城市紧急情况WehaveaClassOnecityemergency.哦我的天Gayle我的姑娘们Oh,myGod.Gayle.Mygirls!是什么危机Whatstheemergency?哦这只是个演习Oh,thi

15、sisjustadrill,但我假装是真的太开心了butIamhavingsomuchfunpretendingitsreal.你开玩笑吧备灾部门的人挑的是今天吗Areyoukiddingme?TheDisasterPreparednesspeoplepickedtoday?每一年印第安纳州的每个城市都会被应急准备部门考核EachyeareverycityinIndianaisreviewedbytheDepartmentofEmergencyPreparedness.而Pawnee已经连续12年失败了AndPawneehasfailed12yearsinarow.去年的报告里他们的描述是On

16、lastyearsreport,theystated,”即使Pawnee只是下点毛毛雨EverytimeitsomuchasdrizzlesinPawnee,“这个镇也会崩溃进入一种穹顶类型的末日后大骚乱”thetownisindangerofcollapsingintoThunderdome-style,post-apocalypticmayhem.好吧我们不知道LeSlie要离开多久Okay,wedon,tknowhowlongLesliesgoingtobegone,所以我们就先开始一些事情soletsjustknocksomeofthisStuffoff.该有人去拦住Jerry吧Sho

17、uldsomeonestopJerry?GayleGayle!没事他早晚会发现的Meh.Hellfigureitouteventually.首先我们要做笔试First,wedothewrittenexam,然后我们要做性格评估andthenwedothepersonalityevaluation,这个我感觉我能搞定因为人们经常说whichIfeellikemgonnanail,causepeoplealwayssay,”但他的性格真的挺不错的”Buthesgotagreatpersonality.,好吧来考我Okay,quizme.好的有警员呼叫35-42代表什么Okay,whatdoesit

18、meanwhenanofficercallsina35-42?人身攻击Assaultandbattery.我记住的方式ThewayIrememberthat,我想象35根人参和42只公鸡1picture35a-saltshakersand42batteries.很好纵火的犯罪代码是多少Great.Whatisthecriminalcodeforarson?纵火是533Arsonis533.你知道我怎么记住的吗YouknowhowIrememberthat?我想象533个人参和公鸡点着了一栋楼Ipicture533saltshakersandbatterieslightingabuildingo

19、nfire.哦我太紧张了Oh!mnervous.宝看着我Babe,lookatme.你会通过这次考试你会成为一个警♥察♥的Youaregoingtopassthistest,andyouaregoingtobecomeacop.如果你不行那我就和你离婚然后和别人结婚Andifyoudont,Illjustdivorceyouandmarrysomeoneelse然后再找你出轨andthencheatonthemwithyou.那也太贴心了Thatssosweet.还有我给你搞了个幸运符Also,Igotyoualuckycharm.我在路边捡了只死兔子Ifounda

20、deadrabbitonthesideoftheroad,然后我把它的脚剪掉做成了一个幸运符andIcutitsfeetoffandmadeitintoaluckycharm.宝贝你也太怪异了Baby,youaresocreepy.谢谢我爱死了Thankyou.Iloveit.Dwyer到你了Dwyer,youreup.我叫LeonardTchulmMynameisLeonardTchulm.我是印第安纳州应急准备部门的头mheadoftheIndianaDepartmentofEmergencyPreparedness.而今天我要给这个镇子带来死亡和毁灭Andtodaymgoingtobri

21、ngdeathanddestructiontoyourtown.我是LeSlieKnope我是Pawnee应急沙皇IamLeslieKnope.IamthePawneeEmergencyCzar.而今年我们的准备超过了充分Andthisyear,wearemorethanpreparedforyourtest,但呃碰巧的是今天有一点点不方便but,um,itjustsohappens,todayisalittleinconvenient.很好因为演习的最佳日子Good,becausethebestdayforadrill就是所有人都不方便的那一天iswhenit,sinconvenientfo

22、reveryone.我母亲今天要做肠镜Mymotherisgettingacolonoscopytoday.我甚至不确定有没有人能送她回家mnotevensuretheresanyonetheretodriveherhome,所以我们都在做出牺牲Knope女士sowereallmakingsacrifices,Ms.Knope.嗯听到你母亲的消息我很抱歉Well,mverysorrytohearaboutyourmother.嗯我们还没到那种关系Mmm.Werenotthatclose.哦很好Oh,good.好了志愿受害人们Okay,volunteervictims,现在请戴上你们的身份牌pl

23、easeputyouridentificationplacardsonnow去你们遍布镇上的指定地区andgotoyourdesignatedareasthroughouttown.第一出动人员们回到你们的站点FirstResponders,returntoyourstations,然后模拟现在开andthesimulationbegins.指针过12了Wentpastthezero.我要等到它走到.Igottowaittillitgoes.好的始Okay,now.好了警官们把门闩上Allright,Officers,boltthedoors.我们正式进入紧闭模式了Weareofficiall

24、yinlockdownmode.大门直到Leonard宣布演习结束后才会打开ThedoorswillnotopenuntilLeonardannouncesthatthisdrilliscomplete.我今生组织过最重要的活动ThemostimportanteventthatIhaveeverorganizedinmyentirelife八个小时后就要发生了ishappeningineighthours,而我被卡在这个房♥间里andIamstuckinthisroom.这真是个事梦Thisisanightmare.等等也许这真是个噩梦Wait.Maybethisisanight

25、mare.不飞不走这是现实生活Nope,cantflyaway.Thisisreallife.应急备灾演习进行中我现在要随机打开这十个信封中的一个mnowgoingtoopenoneofthese10envelopesatrandom来确定你们的模拟灾难todetermineyoursimulateddisaster.Pawnee面临的是Pawneehasbeenhitby.一个禽流感的变种astrainofavianflu.好的禽流感中大奖了Yes!Avianflu!Jackpot.这是个简单的伙计们Thisisasimpleone,guys.所有人打开文件夹好吗Everybodyopent

26、heirbinders,okay?Knope协议吗TheKnopeProtoco,?更正Correction.是碟-PaWnee-谍Knope协议ThatsMissionIm-Pawnee-ble:KnopeProtocol.好如果各位就遵守我的指示Now,ifeveryonejustfollowsmyinstructions,我们会轻松通过我们90分钟之内就能搞定了Wewillacethistest,andwewillbedonein90minutes.”第一步播放DVD场景”Stepone,inserttheDVDscenario.嗯上面会放什么呢Hmm.Whatcouldbeonthis

27、?晚上好这里是第四频道首席主持人WillowTremaine带来突发新闻Goodevening,thisisChannel4leadanchorWillowTremaine,withbreakingnews.禽流感刚刚降临了Pawnee镇AvianfluhasjusthitthetownofPawnee.我们现在现场连线StJoseph医疗中心了解最新情况WegolivenowtoStJosephsMedicalCenterforanupdate.你好我的名字是DonatellaBreckinridge医学博士Heno,mynameisDonatellaBreckinridge,M.D.我在哈

28、佛医学院以全班第一的成绩毕业IgraduatedfirstinmyclassfromHarvardMedicalSchool,所以我知道自己在说什么soIknowwhatmtalkingabout.这是禽流感或者我们说的“H5N1”Thisistheavianflu,orwecall,H5N1.而它会展示出几种症状Anditpresentsitselfinanumberofways.发热肌肉酸痛疲劳腹泻Fever,muscleache,fatigue,diarrhea.等等你是给每个灾难都做了张DVD吗Sorry,didyoumakeaDVDforeverydisaster?嗯你该看看我的埃博

29、拉病毒妆Mmm.YoushouldhaveseenmymakeupforEbola.无论如何我们听听这个聪明性感的医生怎么说吧Anyway,let,slistentowhatthesmartandsexydoctorhastosay.如果你或者你认识的人觉得你感染了禽流感拨♥打♥这个号♥码Ifyouorsomeoneyouknowbelievesyouhaveavianflu,callthisnumber.我是个医生我可以来照顾你madoctorandIcantakecareofyou.Donna我们帐篷搭建能按时完成吗Donna,areweonsch

30、eduleforthetentsetup?桌子出现r这很好Thetablesshowedup,whichisgood,但没有椅子这很糟buttherearenochairs,whichisbad.好的嗯从某些地方找些椅子来Okay,well,getsomechairsfromsomewhere.领导得不错鼓舞人心啊Greatleadership,inspiring.哦天啊Leslie应该要上今FlPawnee）宣传宴会的Oh,God.LesliewasgonnagoonPawneeTodaytopromotethegala.我去Illdoit.无意冒犯Ron但我不觉得你适合上电视Nooffen

31、se,Ron,butIdontthinkyoudbegreatonTV.我可以说出完整的句子而且不哭IcanspeakinfullsentencesandIwontcry.有道理我上次确实哭了祝你好运Fairpoint.Ididcrylasttime.Godspeed.轻松通过Iacedit我所有题都答对了我知道我可以Igoteverythingright.IknowIdid.我一次也没睡着Ididntfallasleeponce.嘿那很棒啊我太为你骄傲了Hey,thatsawesome.msoproudofyou.我知道我经常让自己惊讶Iknow.Iconstantlysurprisemys

32、elf.我现在只需要搞定那个性格评估AllIgottodonowisapersonalityevaluation,然后我们就能去给Leslie帮忙了thenwecangotohelpLeslie.嗯哼你看我提前搞定了Mmm-hmm.-Look,Igotdoneearly.这是给你的礼物Thisisagiftforyou.用口香糖做了恶魔角然后我在侧面写了666DevilhornsmadeoutOfbubblegumandIwrote666ontheside.撒旦兔兔我爱上了Satanbunny.Iloveit.我们性格评估之前还是藏起来好吧1.etshideitbeforethepersona

33、lityevaluation.Okay?这么决定不错Thatsagoodcall.嗯闻起来太棒了主厨你在做什么呢Mmmmm.Smellsamazing,Chef.Whatyoucooking?一点红酒烧鸡吗一点马赛鱼汤1.ittlecoqauvin?LittleBouillabaisse?你马屁拍够了啊HaverfordYoucanstoptheass-kissing,Haverford.我知道你为何在这那个宴会我不能做Iknowwhyyourehere.Icannotdothegala.免费承办这么大的项目商业上讲根本没道理Itdoesntmakebusinesssensetocaterso

34、methingthatbigforfree.拜托如果宴会进行不完美那块地可能会变成大肚汉堡Please.Ifthegaladoesntgoperfectly,thatlotcouldbecomeaPaunchBurger.那不会冒犯你精细的巴黎感官吗DoesntthatoffendyourrefinedParisiansensibilities?我是奥兰多人mfromOrlando.而且我也不在乎大肚汉堡AndIdontcareaboutthePaunchBurger.如果又是一家法国餐厅或许我还会担心IfitwasanotherFrenchrestaurant,maybedworry.嘿嗯你

35、猜怎么着-怎么着Hey!Well,youknowwhat?-What?怎么着你想怎么着What?Whatyougotforme?滚出我的厨房♥-好吧好吧好吧对不起对不起对不起Getoutofmykitchen!-Okay,okay,okay.msorry,sorry,sorry.对不起对不起（法语）Pardon!Pardon!嘿听得见吗Hey,canyouhearme?哦Leslie你上电视了啊Oh!Leslie,youontheTV!嗯你也在我电视上Brett我们这是电视会议Well,youreonmine,Brett.Werehavingavideoconference.哦好

36、吧Oh,okay.Pawnee被禽流感袭击了Pawneehasbeenhitwiththeavianflu.展♥哦Tight.不这是坏消息No,thisisbadnews.我需要动物管理部门所有人IneedeveryonethereatAnimalControl消灭镇上所有已感染的鸟类toeradicatealltheinfectedbirdsintown.“杀掉所有鸟”Killallbirds.这是为了那个演习对吧-是的Thisisforthedrill,right?-Yes.但实际上我可以真的杀掉这些鸟吗Butmactuallygonnakillthesebirdsforre

37、al?不不假装就好No.NoJustpretend.行Right.所以我怎么杀掉它们就用枪吗Sohowdo1killthem,like,withagun?不No.我可以给浴缸灌满水然后一次淹死一只Icouldfillupabathtubandjustdrownthemoneatatime.好吧我们就当我们没聊过Okay,letsforgetweevertalked.知道了杀掉它们Gotit.Killthem.哦我的天太可怕了Oh,myGod.Horrified.Jamm议员能拜托你联♥系♥疾控给他们更新情况吗CouncilmanJamm,canyoupleaseco

38、ntacttheCDCandgivethemanupdate?Chris你能联♥系♥警长让他知道发生什么了吗Chris,canyoucontactthepolicechiefandlethimknowwhat,sgoingon?还有健康主任AnnPerkins我们的零食情况如何And,HealthDirectorAnnPerkins,howarewedoingonsnacks?我准备了早餐棒-哦我的天棒里的一餐Igotbreakfastbars.-Oh,myGod!Amealinsideabar.谢谢你太擅长这个了Thankyou.Youaresogoodatthi

39、s.好的伤亡情况更新只有四位死亡Okay,casualtyupdate,onlyfourdead,其中两位已患重病而且是兄弟twoofwhomwerealreadygravelyillandbrothers.那个家庭损失惨重Thatfamilytookaterriblehit.嗯那是好消息Well,that,sgreatnews.传染被控制住了鸟群数量也在合理范围Theinfectioniscontained,birdpopulationsundercontrol.我觉得我们已经阻止了这场病毒爆发Ibelievethatwehavestoppedthisoutbreak.没那么快Notsofa

40、st.很抱歉告知你们这个房♥间里有人开始出现症状了Iregrettoinformyouthatsomeoneinthisroomhasbegunexhibitingsymptoms.ChristopherTraegerChristopherTraeger.什么What?几个月前想到一种传染病即使是假设的Afewmonthsago,thethoughtofaninfectiousdisease,evenhypothetical,也会让我直接俯冲进倒霉村wouldhavesentmecareeningtowardsBummerville.现在我被感染了一种杀人病毒ButnowIami

41、nfectedwithakillervirus,而我感觉很好and1feelfine.咨♥询♥哦Therapy!这也太不合规了Thisishighlyirregular.我们可是逐字遵守了协议啊不你们没有Wehavefollowedprotocoltotheletter.-No,youdidnot.遗憾的是没人联♥系♥运输部门停止公交服务Unfortunately,noonecontactedtheTransitDepartmenttoshutdownbusservice.所以你和一个感染者乘坐了同一班公交So,yourodeabuswi

42、thacontagiousman,他传染了你和另外39个人andheinfectedyouand39others.这不可能我不坐公交Thatisimpossible.Idonotridethebus.我在公交后面骑车用它防风Iridemybicyclebehindthebusasawindbreak.无关紧要准备好腹泻吧Doesntmatter.Prepareforthediarrhea.好吧是谁该和运输部门打交道的Okay,whowassupposedtodealwithTransit?交通我的错伙计们是我的错Mybad,guys.Thatsmybad.Chris非常抱歉Chris,very

43、sorry.该死JammDamnit,Jamm.真该让动物管理部门把你杀了Ishouldvehadanimalcontrolkillyou.你想让我杀谁啊Whoyouwantmetokill?没谁Noone.我会杀的Illkillhim.在我搞定这些鸟之后Assoonasmdonewiththesebirds.你好Hello.我是来接受关于今晚宴会的采访的mherefortheinterviewabouttonightsgala.是啊听着我有点不太舒服Yeah,listen,malittleundertheweather.我上周去了一次船上酒会Iwentonaboozecruiselastwe

44、ek.它一个小时之前刚刚结束Itjustfinishedupanhourago.一条完全无关的消息是我的过敏太严重Onacompletelyunrelatednote,Ihavehorribleallergies.很抱歉-是Sorrytohearthat.-Yeah.但我确实需要宣传这项活动ButIdoneedtopromotethisevent.别担心我我是个专业人士Dontworryaboutme.matrueprofessional.节目一定会继续的-倒计时5432.Theshowmustgoon.-Infive,four,three,two.大家好我是JoanCallamezzoHel

45、lo.mJoanCaIlamezzo.今天的节目不会继续了Today,sshowwillnotgoon.看起来她的过敏反应发作了Itseemslikeherallergiesarekickingin.讲话讲话Talk.Talk.我吗-你讲话Me?-You,talk.我的名字叫RonSwansonMynameisRonSwanson.我在此来跟你们说今晚举办的一场为PaWnee公园筹款的正式宴会Iamheretotellyouaboutablack-tiegalafundraiserforPawneeCommonshappeningtonight.所有筹得款项将会用于建造一座公园Allproceedswillgotowardbuildingapark.会是一个愉快的场合Itwillbeenjoyable.我要说的真的就这些了所以或许我该走了ThatsreallyallIhadtosay,soperhapsIshouldle